Forgiving You

by Melissa Bender

  His lips kissed the base of my neck as he lent down. “We’re camping. You said you’ve never been and it’s meant to be a perfect weekend weather-wise.”

  That was true, but what this man had done was more than camping. This was romantic camping. He had a tent set up for us and a fire pit with a blazing heated fire roaring to life in the middle of the ground. I looked up at him as I turned slightly. “I love it, Chris, but when did you decide to do this?” I asked.

  I had come home from groceries after Chris sent me on a shopping spree for snacks to find him waiting beside the SUV with a massive smile over his face. I was then ordered to sit in the car and place a blindfold over my head while he drove us. Then I had to wait for another however long it took for him to set this all up. It was perfect.

  “Well, I wanted to do something different. We always go out for dinner and those lodge places, but I like camping and thought we could do it together.” He smiled and shuffled on his feet as he looked at me nervously.

  I didn’t take any notice of him. I walked over to the tent and pulled the zip down, thanking him mentally as he had brought the warm blankets and not sleeping bags. I wanted to snuggle my man.

  “Babe, how long are we staying here for?” I asked as I turned around and looked at him.

  He was sitting down on a log near the fire. Our dinner he had picked up along the way was beside him. “Just two nights. That’s okay with you, right?” he asked, again looking nervous.

  I nodded and took a seat beside him. “Sounds good.”

  He, however, moved, and I was confused at first, until he knelt in front of me and took hold of my hand. “Charlotte,” he started. “You know how much I love you, right?”

  I felt my whole body tense up as goose bumps spread throughout my skin. “Yes,” I replied a whisper.

  He smiled. “You told me I had to level up my game last month, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, Char. I know you’re the one for me. I have never loved anyone as much as I do you, and I would do anything for you. So, Charlotte, will you marry me, spend the rest of your life with me, and make me even happier than I am right now?”

  I then knew why he was so nervous-looking. I felt the tears running down my cheeks as he opened his palm, revealing a stunning diamond ring. A ring so perfect and glittering with an incredible large diamond. It looked so expensive, but the ring didn’t matter because if he had asked me to marry him with a plastic ring, then he’d still get my same answer. “Yes. Yes, I will marry you!”

  “Yes?” he repeated as he slid the white gold ring on my finger. A perfect fit. “God, I love you!”

  “Chris, I love you so much!” I kissed him so hard, wrapping our arms around each other as we kissed passionately in the darkness surrounded by stars and a fire. Unfortunately, the weather forecast was wrong, and a bucket of pouring rain came down hard over us.

  Neither of us cared though. We were engaged and in love.

  Chris pulled away, a brief moment only to lift me up and carry me inside the tent where we spent a lot of our weekend away.

  ***

  I woke up and yawned, moving to wrap my arms around Chris, but, instead, met with a cold empty spot. I grumbled into the pillows. All this week he had been up and almost out the door before I was even dressed.

  This case he was taking had a major toll on us. Well, mainly our sex life.

  “Adam!” I called out sleepily. I knew he had my daughter; he would get up and play with her before he went to work as well.

  The bedroom door opened, and Adam strolled in with Lucy, a smile plastered on his face as my daughter held her head up on her own. At two months, she was doing so well. “What’s up?”

  “Do you know what this case Chris is working on is about?” I asked quietly.

  He looked at me and shook his head. “You’ve asked me this at least twenty times already. No, I don’t. He’s been flat out at work though, so stop giving him a hard time.”

  I threw the covers off me and put my feet on the floor. “Give me Lucy. Go have your own baby if you want her so much.”

  “Shut up. I have a date tonight actually.” He grinned.

  I rolled my eyes, knowing that when he said date, he was actually referring to getting laid. “You’re disgusting,” I muttered.

  He laughed. “Yeah. Well, it’s not like you two aren’t screwing each night, and I’m a man with needs.”

  I laughed it off, but for the past two weeks, Chris and I hadn’t made love once. We hadn’t even made out or kissed with tongue. It was a peck on the mouth, and that was it. Ever since that doctor’s appointment, he’d been closed off, and I thought it was just anxiety about maybe something being wrong, but it wasn’t that at all.

  I had tried touching him, and he’d told me he wasn’t up for it.

  I was rejected most nights, and it fucking hurt.

  It didn’t help that I fell asleep before him most nights as well. He said his workload was busy for the next few months, so I just had to bear with it.

  But I’d seen him at his busiest, working a high-profile case that had him only getting four to five hours sleep a night and he’d still fucked me senseless each night. Something else was up. I could feel it in my bones.

  I made my way down the stairs and found him in the kitchen, dressed in a suit, looking completely handsome as he filled his travel mug with coffee. “Morning,” he spoke quietly.

  “Morning,” I replied. “Off again so early?” I asked.

  He nodded but didn’t say anything.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t bother speaking either. I just left the kitchen and went into the living room, taking a seat beside the window that overlooked the large yard and started to feed Lucy. I could feel him watching me, like he did every morning just before he left.

  Adam came in and looked at us both and shook his head. It was hard not to want to cry when I felt as if this was starting to end for us. Something wasn’t right, and I had racked my brains trying to think of what it was.

  I let out a yawn and looked up at Chris. “Are you coming home for dinner or not?” I asked.

  He came and took a seat in front of me, reaching over and took hold of my hand. “I don’t know. I will let you know what my day is like. I’ll be in the office all day, but it’s flat out, so I can’t promise anything.”

  I nodded. “So, no then.”

  “I’m not up for a fight, Char.” He sighed, dropping my hand and standing up. “I have to go. I’ve got an early appointment.”

  “When don’t you?” I muttered. Yes, I was now feeling a little more bitchy than usual.

  He didn’t respond; he just kissed the top of my forehead and bent down and did the same to Lucy. He was more affectionate to her lately: he fed, bathed, and changed her then put her down each night, reading to her and then going back to work. I wanted to know why things were different between us.

  I was sick of sitting at home. All the thoughts were playing over and over in my mind. What if Chris felt like I wasn’t showing him enough attention? I read some males felt like the third wheel after a new baby, so I decided to surprise him and go into his work for lunch. Plus, I hadn’t been in there for ages.

  “Let’s go see Daddy, little blossom.” I picked Lucy up and put her in the baby sling. She was asleep after screaming the entire drive from home into the city.

  I rode the elevator up and had my bag with lunch in it. I hoped he wasn’t in a meeting. Well, I guess I could always have lunch with my brother and listen to him going on and on about this hot date he had. Maybe I could talk him into settling down.

  As I reached his floor, I made my way towards his office. A young man sitting at the desk stood and smiled. “Mrs. Rivers, pleased to meet you finally. I’m Kevin. Did Chris forget something?” he asked, walking towards me.

  I gave him a slightly confused look. “Nice to meet you, and no. What do you mean?”

  “He left an hour ago. He
said he was working from home and not to tell anyone so they didn’t hassle him there,” he said as my expression turned to confusion. “Umm.”

  I felt my entire insides churn. He lied to me.

  I played along, not wanting to look a fool as I had no idea where my husband was. “Yes, sorry. He said he left his phone on his desk and asked me to grab it.” I laughed it off as I opened his office door.

  I wanted to snoop so badly, go through everything to find what the hell was going on. I was sick to my stomach at the thoughts running through my mind; the worst one was that he was with another woman.

  I left the office in a hurry, not bothering to look around the office. I didn’t want to be hurt any worse than he had hurt me. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone as I blinked back the tears while rushing to the elevator. I cried the entire way home, and as I pulled into the drive, I still kept crying. Lucy cried on and off; she was due for a feed.

  Lucy and I sitting and watching as it started to rain outside, the pitter patter of droplets hitting the window as I fed and then soothed her to sleep. I tried not to cry. I had even tried to call him, and the phone was turned off.

  If that wasn’t a sign of cheating, then I had no idea what the hell was.

  I called Ness after putting Lucy down. We chatted, but only for a few minutes. I put on a fake happiness and told her everything was great. I think she knew I was lying though. I missed her so much.

  When the front door opened at 7 p.m., I was in the kitchen, staring into the fridge and fuming, trying to keep my cool.

  “Hey, how was work?” I asked as I slammed the fridge shut.

  He sat his briefcase to the bench and frowned. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “How was work?” I asked a little louder. “Busy day? Well, I guess it was for you to be walking in the door after I put your daughter to bed, or were you busy with your other family?” I hissed, walking past him.

  His hands shot out and pulled me to a stop. “What’s the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his voice rising slightly.

  I tried to push him off me, but he was too strong. “Who is she, Chris? Don’t fucking lie to me this time!”

  “Who the fuck is who? What the hell are you on about?” He scoffed as he pushed me against the wall. His body pressed to mine wasn’t doing me any favours as I could feel his hardened cock against my stomach.

  My eyes were watering, and I couldn’t help it. Chris looked at me, and his whole face looked as guilty as I used to look when I tried to tell him I didn’t eat the last of his ice cream. I could easily spot when he was lying to me. His grip on me loosened, and he let me go completely and stepped away as I broke down crying.

  “Char, you need to let me explain,” he started.

  I shook my head. “Explain why you left work at 11 a.m. and told Kevin you were home with me?” I asked through a cry of sobs. It was a good thing Adam wasn’t home.

  “Fuck,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair and pacing the kitchen. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He hissed louder.

  My crying was slowly dying down, watching as he paced back and forth and looked more than sick with himself. My eyes went to his hand and noticed he wasn’t wearing his ring. Oh god, he was with another woman.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  “I’m done,” I spoke, surprising myself at how calm I sounded.

  His feet stopped moving, and he stared at me, panic washing over his handsome face. Those blue eyes could have me falling in love with him all over again. Instead, they did nothing but tear at my heart even more.

  “What do you mean you’re done?” he asked, stepping closer as I backed away from him, my back hitting the kitchen counter bench putting me to a stop.

  I lifted my hand up and pointed to the rings on it. “Obviously, this means more to me than you, so go back to your woman and tell her you’re all hers, because you and I are obviously over, Chris. You lied to me, won’t have sex with me, or touch me. You’re working more and more, and now you’re leaving work, lying to me and telling me you’re on some big case!” I yelled loudly at him, pushing him against his chest hard.

  He cut me off from yelling any further, leaving me a little speechless as he pulled his ring from his pocket and sliding it back on his finger. I went to talk, but his lips started roaming my body as he lifted me up and sat me on the counter top, pulling away and pulling his belt off and he threw it to the floor, unzipping his pants and pulling out his thick, stiff cock.

  “Is this what you want, Char? You want this?” He growled out, pushing my thighs apart as he grabbed my leggings, pulling them down hurriedly and grabbing my panties, pulling them to the side as he thrusted deep inside me.

  It hurt, but I didn’t care. I needed him to fuck me.

  I wanted to feel something other than a fury for him. We were passionately kissing and grabbing each other tightly. “Harder!” I cried, my hands gripping his ass as he thrusted deeper and faster.

  “Is this what you want? You fucking accuse me of cheating. I should fucking throw you over my knee and spank the hell out of your ass!” He grabbed my ponytail and jerked my head back, so I was looking up at him.

  This was a whole new side to him that I hadn’t seen. He was completely in charge, and his whole attitude changed. I had never seen him so angry in our entire relationship. Sure, he’d been pissed off, but not to a point of fucking me like he hated me. Mind you, I didn’t care.

  I, however, slapped his face. It didn’t faze him as he wrapped his hand around my throat, and I almost came. The pleasure that shot through my body was insane right now as he brought his mouth back over to mine and sucked over my lower lip as he kissed me heatedly.

  Our breathing and screaming at each other only became louder as we fucked our way through a fight, both of us reaching the peak of our climax as we cried out. I let out a moan of pleasure as he groaned, kissing me softer as he fell over me, leaning on his elbows as I held him by the face.

  “I’m not cheating on you, nor would I ever do that. But we need to talk,” he said quietly as he pulled out and helped me up.

  I was worried, relieved as hell, but still worried and confused. “What’s going on? We don’t lie to each other, Chris. We don’t even fuck like that. I’m . . . just talk to me.”

  I didn’t know what to think, but I knew it wasn’t good as his face paled, leaning over the kitchen sink and throwing up. Spewing up was something he never did, and I grew more worried.

  “Chris,” I spoke, my own stomach turning with knots as he looked at me, tears brimming in his eyes as he rinsed his mouth. Sliding to the floor and shaking his head as he cried. I was right in front of him in a hurry, my hands shaking as I knelt down, running my hands through his hair and cupping his cheeks, wiping the warm tears away. “Just tell me what’s going on. Please?” I asked, my heart breaking as his body shook.

  Never have I seen him cry like this. I thought when he cried at the beach was bad, but he was a sobbing mess.

  “I’m getting what I deserved for leaving you. This is my own fucking punishment for walking out on you and Lucy.” He let out a deep breath, “I need you more than ever, baby. I need you to help me get through this because I can’t win this fight without you. I need you to help me.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  We had been engaged nine days, and his mother had already planned an engagement party for us. Mind you, it was done without our knowledge.

  Chris looked down at me and smiled as he gave my bum a slight squeeze. “I can’t wait until we’re married.”

  “Same. I want to be Mrs. Rivers so badly,” I replied and met him halfway for a kiss.

  Being hugged, kissed, and asked the same question over and over again was what we’d heard from everyone at the party. Adam came over and smirked. “So, when’s the wedding?”

  “Shut up; you know when it is.” I rolled my eyes at my brother and nudged him in the side as he pulled me into him.

  He kissed the side of my head and sighed. “So,
in six months, huh? You think you’ll be organised by then?”

  I nodded. “Of course. Chris and I have already picked out the spot we want to get married. Well, it’s down to a top three, so we have to go check them out,” I answered him. Chris and I had come home from the camping trip and got right into wedding ideas. More so, me, but he sat down and looked through ideas with me.

  I looked around the room and smiled as I saw Chris. He looked up at me, and our eyes locked on each other. He was truly handsome dressed in a suit with his hair slicked to the side. I loved the comb-over on him.

  “Where is Mum and Dad?” I asked Adam as I looked back at him.

  He ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed. “They wanted to come, but you know them.”

  I nodded. My parents were amazing, but weren’t too thrilled about our sudden engagement. Not too happy that Chris proposed without dad’s permission or that we’d only been dating six months. I told them I knew Chris was the one for me. He was my one and only, but they weren’t having it. Mum thought it was a shotgun wedding. As much as we wanted to start a family, we both wanted to be married first.

  Adam had been with me through everything, and I loved him for that. I turned and slapped his hand as he went to bite his nail—a bad habit of his that he did a lot. “Do you think they’ll come around and be happy?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I’d love to say yes, but I just don’t know, Charlotte. You know how they were when I got married. I’d been with that bitch for six years, and she was cheating on me for three, so fuck what mum and dad think because, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. If you want to marry him, then go marry him.”

  I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He was right. “What would I do without you? You’ve gotten me through so much, Adam.”

  He smiled. “Just keep being you. Plus, I’m the best man. I’ve got to make sure you turn up, or that fella over there will have my balls.” He laughed just as Chris walked back over and took me by the hand.