Bound for Love

by A R McKinnon

  She fought the urge to rattle the bars. She could understand why he'd done what he had. Now that she was sitting here, she could play the scene on the porch in her mind again, and when she did, she realized that the embrace wasn't as passionate as it had first appeared.

  Grayson had had Julia's hands gripped in his own as if trying to halt her movements and while their lips were touching his hip was on the banister turning his lower half away from Julia.

  That moment of clarity was swept away as terror swamped her again. She wanted to yell out, but her aunt was always so cruel if she didn't take her punishment like a good girl. Lucy curled into herself and waited to hear her aunt’s boots on the kitchen floor boards.

  GRAYSON FELT LIKE an ass. He'd taken far longer than he intended to get back to the playroom. He'd showered first, needing to be fresh when they sat down to talk. He fully intended to seduce her once they'd cleared the air.

  Then the phone had rang and he hadn't been able to get his foreman off the line. There was more vandalism around the property and this time Grayson had an idea where it was coming from. Julia's attempt at seduction had fallen flat and now he couldn't help but wonder if all the mishaps and accidents had been her way of trying to get him to see what a nuisance the horses were. It had taken him over an hour before he realized that the batteries in the monitor he'd set up in the playroom were dead and he couldn't hear a thing going on inside the room.

  That had made him rush Burt off the phone. When he opened the door to the playroom what he found shocked him. Lucy was in the far corner of the cage and she'd huddled in on herself. If he thought her expression earlier had been catatonic there wasn't a word for what she was now and he was devastated.

  He unlocked the cage realizing he hadn't even told her about the safety release. He hadn't given her the tools to escape if she'd needed to. Shame burned through him as he unlatched the lock and she flinched as if expecting pain.

  "I'm sorry Lucy. I'm so sorry." Grayson kept saying the words hoping that she would hear him. He made soft shushing noises meant to be comforting, as he removed the top of the cage and took her out. He carried her over to the bed and sat down keeping her in his arms.

  She wasn't flinching anymore, and she seemed to be calming down so he loosened his hold on her and leaned back so he could look at her face. As if she'd been waiting for an opening she sprang up from his lap and was halfway across the room before he could stop her.

  "I have to go," she said.

  "Lucy, we need to talk about this."

  "No." She spun on her heel and raced out of the door like she was being chased by demons. Grayson followed her out trying to reason with her, but her mind had been made up. She ran into the living room where her purse had been discarded. Knocking it over in her haste to pick it up, half the contents scattered across the floor. Grayson watched as she hastily shoved her keys and makeup back inside the bag before casting him a haunted look over her shoulder.

  "I just need some time," she said, her voice shaking. Then she was gone.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  LUCY DROVE TO Anita's apartment. She'd considered going to see Allison but even though Allie was married to two men she didn't have experience with BDSM like Anita did. Lucy just prayed she was home.

  Lucy practically leaned on the intercom buzzer then pressed it in rapid succession.

  "Where's the fire?" Anita's voice echoed over the speaker and Lucy breathed a sigh of relief.

  "It's Lucy, can I come up?" Lucy asked, trying to keep the desperation she was feeling from coloring her tone. The electronic release on the heavy front door was loud and it made Lucy jump. She hurried to the stairs, bypassing the elevator completely, not ready to be in a confined space again so soon after the cage.

  The climb to Anita's seventh floor apartment left Lucy winded and she cursed her fitness level vowing to get into better shape.

  Anita flung the door open as soon as she knocked. "What the hell did you take the stairs? Is the elevator out again? I swear that superintendent is the laziest-"

  "No, it's fine or at least it's probably fine. I walked up because I didn't want to be in the elevator."

  "No offense but you look awful. What's going on?" Anita led her into the living room waving off her protests about her shoes. Lucy took one look at the pristine cream-colored carpet and managed to slip off her shoes while Anita half dragged her to the sofa.

  Lucy sank down on the soft couch and burst into tears. It was several minutes before she could catch her breath, and when she finally did Anita was looking at her like she'd lost her mind.

  "Okay, enough of that. Now take a drink of water, and then tell me what the hell is going on." Anita shoved a bottle of water in Lucy's hands and Lucy didn't even know when she'd gone to the kitchen to get it. She unscrewed the cap and took a drink before placing it carefully on a coaster on the table.

  "Would you stop worrying that you're going to mess up my house and tell me what the hell is going on?"

  "I'm pregnant and I don't know if I can do all this kinky stuff in the bedroom anymore." Lucy wailed giving in to sobs again.

  "Okay, whoa, whoa slow down." Anita rubbed a comforting hand across Lucy's back. "Why don't you start from the beginning." Anita suggested.

  Lucy's spilled everything about their relationship, tears welling in her eyes again when she mentioned finding Grayson kissing his ex-girlfriend. She ended with the pregnancy and cage watching Anita's eyes go wide.

  "Wow." It was all the other woman said for a long time and Lucy grew increasingly frustrated.

  "Say something!"

  "Wow."

  "Say something else." Lucy smacked Anita's arm.

  "Okay, here's what we're going to do. I have a photo shoot this weekend. Nothing too out there." She assured Lucy when she started to protest. "I've put the bondage pieces on hold for now. I've been having some trouble at my studio. The police are investigating but until some stuff is sorted out, I'm taking a break." Anita shrugged as if the trouble going on with her art show wasn't a big deal.

  "I have to go out of town this weekend. I'm taking some nature shots, going to the water for some shots too. You're going to come with me and take some time to clear your head."

  Lucy pushed herself up straighter on the couch and shook her head. "I can't do that, I have too much going on to just take a weekend away." She took another drink of water and placed her hand on her belly. She sat that way for a second, then seeming to realize where her hand rested, she shook her head with disgust and moved her hand away.

  "I've been almost where you are, you need time to think. You don't want to let anything pass you by. Trust me Lucy, you don't want regrets. I let Zach slip though my fingers because I was stupid and afraid. I walked telling myself there were a hundred other reasons and now that I haven't seen him in years, I live with that regret every day.

  "Okay fine I'll go." Lucy agreed, trying to quell the panic that was threatening to choke off her air supply. She tried to use every trick she’d learned in therapy to quell the anxiety.

  ***

  GRAYSON PACED THE length of the room again feeling lost. It was as if all the carefully constructed control in his life was falling away. He flopped back on the couch and thought about calling Lucy. He pulled his phone out and called up her number from the contacts list.

  He was sitting staring at her number when the phone rang in his hands. Hope bloomed inside his chest and he willed it to be her calling but it was his foreman.

  "There has been a fire, Grayson in the back pasture and buildings."

  Grayson's heart thundered in his chest. "The horses?' he asked, anxiety making his voice tight.

  "We don't know yet. We're still getting a head count."

  Grayson hung up the phone and sighed. Calling Lucy would have to wait now, but the decision didn't sit right with him. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and ran out the door trying to put thoughts of Lucy aside until he knew what was going on.

  ***


  What was going on was arson. There was no doubt about it. The back buildings had been doused in accelerant and set ablaze. They'd lost four horses by the time the fire was finally under control. It was very costly and would hurt his business, but what hurt more was the loss of four of his beautiful animals.

  The fire had confirmed there was more to the damage being done to his property than just accidents or senseless vandalism. Given Julia's cryptic statements before her blatant attempt at seduction Grayson suspected that her lover was behind the fire and he made sure to tell the arson investigation team about his suspicions.

  After kicking off his boots Grayson eased himself down on the couch and closed his eyes. He was bone tired and weary after dealing with the fire. He closed his eyes wishing that he wasn't alone. It was late but the desire to call Lucy was still riding him hard, and it was difficult to ignore. Pulling his cell phone from his pocket he brought up her contact, and this time he didn't allow himself to second guess the choice to call her.

  He settled back on the cushions and waited for the call to connect. Grayson cursed loudly when the unmistakable sound of a faint ringtone and vibration drifted up to him from under the couch.

  He reached under the couch blindly searching for the phone. He came up empty handed and had to roll off the couch and on to his knees to continue his search. Grayson noticed her phone wasn't the only thing she'd left behind when she dumped out the contents of her purse in her attempts to put as much space between them as she could.

  He pulled her phone, lip gloss and a hair tie from beneath the couch. He crouched lower to peer underneath to make sure he hadn't missed anything, and a white piece of plastic caught his eye. Grayson pulled that out as well, setting it with the small pile of other belongings.

  He assumed at first that it was something to do with cosmetics and didn't pay it much attention. He gathered the items in his fist and tossed them on the coffee table. It wasn't until then that he realized what he'd fished out from under the sofa.

  Grayson stared. He couldn't seem to stop staring. It was a pregnancy test, and there was only one reason a woman kept a pregnancy test after peeing on it. He reached out with a slightly shaky hand as if the test would bite, and already half expecting what he would find he flipped the test over, so it was face up and readable. Sure enough, staring back at him was a positive result. The words pregnant appeared under the two lines on the test.

  Feeling lightheaded Grayson let his head fall between his knees and sucked in a lung full of air. Slowly he let it back out again repeating the process until he felt calmer. She was pregnant. She was pregnant and she had seen him kissing his ex-lover. She was pregnant and he'd locked her in a cage. Fuck!

  Grabbing his keys and the test he ran out to his truck. He needed to talk to her now.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  LUCY LOOKED OUT over the water. Seeing the waterfall that Anita was methodically capturing from every angle she could understand why it would make a compelling piece of art. Though given the choice she would have preferred something a little more remote. There were just too many people here to suit her. Behind her, the main street reminded her of a midway at a carnival and the smells were turning her stomach again.

  They had eaten at a buffet not long before coming down to the area where the water could be viewed best. The food had been mediocre, and it wasn't sitting well. She turned away from the railing she'd been leaning on and let the wind off the water tease her curls. Noticing her change in position Anita quickly snapped several photos of her.

  "Hey! Isn't your focus supposed to be out there?" Lucy asked, gesturing to the white water.

  "Yes, but I couldn't help myself." Anita grinned and snapped another picture. Then seeming to notice how Lucy turned green she lowered the camera. "You doing ok?"

  Lucy shook her head gently while pressing her fingers over her lips. "I think I'm going to head back to the room to rest for a bit."

  "I'll come with you." Anita offered, quickly stowing her camera in the carrying case.

  "No, no you stay here take more pictures. Do what you need to do. I'm just going to go relax for a while."

  By the time Lucy made it back to the room her head felt clearer, but her stomach was rolling. After talking to Anita she could understand that Grayson had messed up. Rationally she knew he didn't mean her any harm but reconciling that with the feeling of being in the cage was nearly impossible.

  ***

  "I REALLY NEED to speak to her, Allison. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?" Grayson ran a hand through his hair in frustration, hoping that Allison could give him even a scrap of information that would help him find her. "It's been three days. I really need to know where she is."

  "I honestly don't know. What the hell happened? I know things were going well between the two of you, and don’t bother trying to tell me you're not together. I know you both tried to keep things quiet, but you are definitely together."

  Grayson flopped down on the couch. "I hope you can still say that after I find her."

  "Okay, what happened?" Allison asked again.

  Grayson went over everything leaving out only the fact that Lucy had likely come to tell him she was pregnant when she'd found Julia kissing him.

  "You locked her in a fucking cage! What the hell is the matter with you?"

  "It's a normal practice Allison. She has a safe word, she never used it."

  "Grayson, you need to find her. Now. Like, yesterday!"

  "What aren't you telling me?" Grayson could hear the tension and anger in her in Allison's voice, and it made him grit his teeth in response. She wasn’t quick to judge if she was this upset there was a reason.

  "I can't say anything. It's her story to tell, but you have to talk to her."

  Talking to Allison only made him feel more anxious. It was only his experience as a dominant that kept him from going crazy spinning his wheels while he waited for her to come home.

  When his phone rang, he couldn't stop hope from soaring in his chest that it might be Lucy. His elation quickly fled when he saw his parents' number. He nearly sent the call directly to voicemail, not wanting to deal with another dissection of his love life. Especially while he was feeling raw.

  Something stopped him and he answered the call instead. Surprised when his father was on the line. He'd expected his mother since she'd been the one to reach out before and try to end their fight.

  "Grayson, I hope I didn't get you at a bad time."

  "It's fine. What's up?" There was a long pause on the line, and Grayson wasn't sure if his father would continue. Getting up, Grayson crossed the living room to look out the window. He stared out over the yard towards the barn before crossing the room again. He finished two full circuits before his father spoke.

  "I've been thinking a lot about what you said when you were here, and while I still can't say I fully support your choice I've come to understand things a bit better. I'd like to try to get us back on track. Our family used to be so close and this distance that's come between us is tearing your mother and I apart."

  "Thanks, I'd like things to be the way they used to." Grayson said while padding into the kitchen. A cream-colored shirt hung on the back of one of the chairs and absently Grayson brought it to his face burying his nose in the soft cotton fabric. It smelled like Lucy, the light floral scent made his heart ache.

  "Grayson?" His father’s spoken words finally penetrated his foggy brain and Grayson wondered how long he'd zoned out for.

  "Sorry," he mumbled

  "I was saying we'd like to finally bury the hatchet so to speak. We'd like to make dinners a regular thing, and if you'd like to bring Lucy along, she's more than welcome. She seems like a sweet girl."

  "Yeah she's great." Grayson replied absently fingering the line of delicate buttons down the edge of the shirt. She'd worn this in the barn paired with jeans and a pair of black cowboy boots. Grayson remembered how sexy she'd looked when he'd peeled the jeans from her shapely legs and left her with
this shirt hanging open as the lace of her bra and panties peeked out around the hems to tease him.

  He'd taken her then up against the rough wooden wall of the barn, her nails leaving crescent wounds in his neck as she clung to him while he pounded into her flesh. Squeezing his eyes shut he flung the shirt away.

  "Listen dad I've gotta run, but I'll try to make it to dinner just let me know when you want me to come."

  "So, you won't be bringing Lucy around again?"

  "I don't know Dad. I'll let you know. Listen, I really need to go. I'll call you later." Grayson hung up the phone unable to say more as anger and pain lanced though him. Sinking on to the nearest stool, he ran his hands through his already dishevelled hair and tried not to think about the fact that the stool he was using was the one Lucy had sat on the first day he'd made her climax.

  ***

  She was gone for four days. Four days that had felt like an eternity to him. Grayson all but staked out her apartment waiting for her to come home. He knew he couldn't risk the chance that she wouldn't talk to him if he missed her coming home.

  Lucy came down the hall struggling with the bags she was carrying, and Grayson jumped to his feet from his post in front of her door.

  "Here, let me help with those."

  Lucy jumped, startled. "Oh, don't do that!" she shrieked, placing her hand against her chest over her heart.

  "Sorry. Here let me take those." Grayson eased the bags away from her. "Shopping spree?" he asked, watching a blush spread across her skin as she fished in her purse for her keys.

  "I guess," she shrugged, shouldering the door open.

  "We need to talk about what happened, Lucy." Grayson insisted as soon as they were inside her apartment. He reached out cupping her shoulders in his palms needing even the lightest contact with her after their separation and once he made contact, he let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "What happened when you were in the cage, Lucy?"