In Real Life

by Elisabeth Warner

  I sit up in my chair. “What? Me? Overthrow the Liberty party? That’s ridiculous!”

  “Well, there’s a reason our hackers didn’t let us go to jail. And let me tell you, it’s not because they have the warm fuzzies for us. It’s because they believe we all have something, some sort of skill or knowledge, that can help them in their master plan.”

  “And what is their master plan? Do you think they’re all working together?”

  “Oh, I know they’re all working together. I mean, think about it. Why would your hacker bring you here alone? He or she wanted you to meet all of us. This isn’t just some afterlife experience. This is the waiting room for their plan.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t imagine that the person who left me here has any purpose for me anymore.”

  “Well, Lin, it seems only time will tell.”

  I finish the rest of my sandwich in silence, chewing on Ace’s words. Don hasn’t spoken to me in years. Why would he want me to help him overthrow the Liberty party? With his computer science and hacking experience, he could even take them down himself.

  Ace sighs and stands to his feet. “Well, thanks for the coffee. I think I’m going to head back now. This was nice.”

  “Get home safe,” I mutter, breathless as I rise. Our faces are not that far apart. I turn away, pushing the thought of kissing him far away from me.

  As his shoulder brushes mine on his way out, I feel a connection that I haven’t experienced in years.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  On the way to breakfast, my feet joyfully skip down the hill, excitement coursing through my veins. I have a purpose. I have answers.

  I have a friend.

  The dining hall is buzzing with talk, even from the outside. I can’t wait to join in all the fun, to make new friends.

  But once I open the door, the murmuring stops, and all eyes are on me.

  I freeze, casting a quick glance at Ace. They know about last night.

  Susan is the first to approach me. “Lin, good morning. A word, please.”

  With thin lips, she pulls me to the side, and I feel like a child about to be punished for drawing on the walls. “What were you thinking, letting Ace into your cabin like that? Alone? After missing lunch and dinner, no less. Are you conspiring with him?”

  I shake my head incredulously. “What? No, I—”

  “I gave you a clear warning, and you deliberately chose not to adhere to it. You leave me no choice—”

  “It was my fault, Susan. I should’ve been watching out for her.” A voice pops up behind us. As I look past Susan, I catch a glimpse of Nelle’s long dark hair sweeping over her troubled face. “When she didn’t show up to lunch or dinner, I should’ve checked up on her. I thought to do it, but I didn’t. So, it’s my fault, and I take full responsibility for it.”

  I raise my eyebrow. What is she doing?

  Susan clicks her tongue. “Your accountability has been noted, Nelle. Please keep an eye on Lin today. Show her the ways of the Community.”

  “Yes, Susan. She can come with us on our walk this morning after breakfast.”

  I don’t need a babysitter. But I’m in desperate need of a friend.

  “Thanks,” I croak, finding my voice after swallowing it in fear. “May I eat now?”

  Susan’s demeanor softens, and she softly smiles. “Yes, of course. Have a good day today with Nelle and the other ladies.”

  Nelle escorts me to the food, the heat of everyone’s stares on me. I take deep, even breaths, focusing on what I’m going to eat. Bagels. My favorite breakfast from back home. I didn’t tell Ace where I was from, so there’s no way he’d know I like them. It’s probably just a coincidence.

  I pile the bagel with bacon, eggs, and cheese, putting a little ketchup and pepper on it before closing the sandwich together. Ace and I exchange a quick glance before I turn my cheek and walk toward the table. Our brief encounter is enough for me to know that we’re still friends, that we’ll keep in touch somehow. That he’s not mad at me.

  This is his fault anyway. But for some reason, I can’t be angry at him. He makes me feel like I belong here. I’m sure Nelle means well, but she’s treating me like an outsider, like someone who needs rescuing. Was standing up for me like that really necessary?

  “You’re welcome,” she says stiffly as I sit down. “Susan was going to throw you in the lake for what you did last night.”

  I gasp. That’s the consequence? I can’t swim, and I can only imagine how deep that lake is. And how many germs are swimming around in it. “Well, then, thanks,” I mumble, feeling more and more like an incompetent child by the minute.

  Tee rolls her eyes as she puts down her fork. “Nelle, be patient with her. She’s new here, just like all of us were.” She elbows me as she smiles playfully. “Besides, Ace is kinda cute.”

  My eyes widen. “No, it’s not like that.” But my flushed face reveals all my secrets at once.

  Tee giggles as she rubs her protruding stomach. “Whatever you say, Lin.”

  Why does that stance look so familiar?

  “So, are you up for a walk today, Lin?” Nelle asks as if she didn’t suggest that earlier. As if I have a choice.

  “Walking sounds fun,” I lie, lifting my bagel to my mouth. I whisper a word of thanks and chomp on my breakfast. What do I have to be thankful for anyway? Feeling guilty, being punished, my new friends treating me like a child?

  “You’ll love it here,” June says, scraping some leftover eggs from her plate. “We usually follow a path by the brook.”

  What’s a brook? “Sounds fun,” I say again, chewing on another piece.

  The tension between us is so thick, it’s laborious to speak with them. I can tell they’re trying to be polite with me, but I can’t help wondering if they’re secretly judging me. Nelle keeps her head down most of the meal, while Tee shoots an awkward smile at me every once in a while. June gets up to throw out her plate, and she walks over to Susan to strike up a conversation.

  I get it. I’d want to be anywhere but at this table, too.

  As I avert my eyes toward Nelle, trying not to make it obvious that I’m staring at her, I wonder why she stood up for me if she’s angry at me for what I did. Is she somehow angry at herself? Does she really think that this is her fault? I shake my head. This social stuff isn’t easy for me yet, so I can’t even begin to read her mind. Talking doesn’t seem to help, either.

  The two ladies stand up from their seats to throw out their plates. Even though I’m only halfway done, I follow them like a dumb dog, and Nelle is leading me on a leash. I take a swig of my orange juice before dumping my plate and cup in the wash basin.

  We walk outside, me following a short distance behind my two “friends.” “Shouldn’t we wait for June?” I ask, pointing back toward the dining hall.

  “Oh, don’t worry. She’ll catch up.” Tee rubs her belly again, staring down lovingly at the bump.

  Bump. She has a baby bump.

  “You’re pregnant,” I blurt out, my orange juice threatening to make an appearance.

  Tee knits her eyebrows and grimaces. “Yeah, good guess. Don’t you know it’s rude to assume that someone’s pregnant?”

  But I’m not assuming. I know from experience. I know that look she gave her stomach. I know the way she’s rubbing her belly is to soothe her child.

  She’s pregnant. I can never be pregnant.

  “Lin, are you okay?” Nelle waves her hand in front of my face, but it’s blurry to me.

  The doctors. The image on the screen. My baby. He’s gone.

  I always wanted twins.

  Now Sage has what was meant to be mine.

  My throat constricts and I can’t breathe. All I can sense is my heartbeat ringing in my ears. I’m outside, but I feel trapped.

  Where am I?

  “Lin, answer me! What’s going on?”

  Dizziness. My head is spinning. I need to sit down. I need to run.

  “Lin.”

&n
bsp; Nelle’s voice disappears in the distance as my feet carry me as far away from her as possible.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  I run as fast as my legs can take me. Faster than I ever thought I could run. Blurred images of people standing by their cabins, shouting at me, calling for me, fleet across my field of vision. But over the hills is my goal. The furthest point from everyone else. From anyone who can hurt me, who can remind me of my pain.

  I speed past the cabins, my fists thrusting me forward as the wind blows through my stringy hair. The dreams I had after my mom was arrested flood back into my mind. Where did I think I’d get the strength to fight the patrol officers? How could I let Sage convince me that Mom could somehow be saved from the Liberty party’s prison?

  If prison is as bad as Ace says it is, Mom has no hope. I’m getting the sense that Dad didn’t have any, either. Then again, his life is being spared from all this mess. Would I even be here if he was still alive?

  At the top of the hill, there’s a tree with a blue arrow on it. I huff past it as I run. Maybe this is the path to the brook that June told me about. My heart begins to race and my breathing becomes more labored as the elevation changes under my feet.

  The path is surrounded by trees and leaves, with no cabins in sight. Perfect.

  All my thoughts, fears, and worries dissipate when I climb over the hill and a range of mountains comes into view. I’ve never seen a mountain in real life before, only on VR trips with my dad. I’ve walked all over the world with him, even the places where the government wouldn’t let us go.

  The humidity is replaced by cool, crisp air that cleanses my lungs. Taking in the smell of grass and the fresh wood from the trees, I must admit that the experience is better in real life.

  I turn the corner and the sunlight breaks through the trees, with a rushing body of water beneath me in full view. I shield my eyes from the glare, basking in the warmth on this hot, early autumn day. The mountains up ahead make me want to keep going.

  I take a deep breath, extending my arms. Finally, a moment alone. It feels good to break away from the stress that has become the constant of my life. In this calm scenery, there’s no reason to fear.

  The rustling of the tree next to me interrupts my peaceful thoughts. Okay, maybe now I have a reason to fear. I break into a sprint, panting as my lungs struggle to keep up with my legs. I turn back. A small squirrel emerges from among the leaves. I can breathe again.

  As I walk along the rocky path, my mind wanders toward Mom’s safety. In the back of my mind, I had always believed that she was okay, that Sage was trustworthy enough to save her like she said she would.

  But I’m learning that nothing from my past life is guaranteed.

  There’s a large fallen tree to my left, covered with moss, where I decide to rest in the shade. Taking deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth, I wish that I had thought to bring a water bottle to replenish the sweat that now covers me.

  I recall what Ace told me about prison, cringing as I think about Mom having to endure such pain. She would cry even getting a paper cut. How could she even survive a beating?

  As I chew on the idea that Ace was isolated in a cell, I realize that prison isn’t much different from my life back in Brooklyn. I lived in a townhouse by myself and didn’t leave the house for months at a time. I would’ve survived, but Mom? She’s in trouble.

  Mom. I think about our lunch dates, how important they were to her. How I would dread meeting with her in real life. Now, she needs someone to open the door for her and rescue her. If I could, I would bring her a chicken fajita and a strawberry smoothie from her favorite restaurant.

  My old life doesn’t matter anymore. Somehow, I can’t believe that. Somehow, the weight of the world stays on my shoulders. I’d do anything to shake it off.

  But Ace’s words ring in my ears. Is it possible that Don and the other hackers have a purpose for us here? If that involves saving Mom and other innocent people like her, I’m in.

  A rush of fresh air blows through me, infusing me with energy again. I slide off the tree and run toward the mountain. Running away from my problems, begging for answers. Who am I kidding? Don left me here to die. There’s no purpose for me—

  Suddenly, the dirt under my feet turns to mud and I slip on the path. In what feels like one motion, I roll off the edge of the trail, down the hill, and into the rushing brook below. My entire body emerged in the rushing water, I wave all four of my limbs frantically, feeling for something to grab. I’m moving. I kick and punch the stream until my fingers rise above the surface. I need air. I need air.

  A hand grabs me and I rise to the surface, gasping for breath. My eyes are closed for fear of the water burning my vision.

  “Lin, are you all right?”

  Ace.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Back on land, a towel appears in my hands and I wipe my face, opening my eyes and meeting Ace’s. “Are you all right?” he asks me again.

  “How did you find me?” I gasp.

  “We followed you,” Susan says, sitting down next to me on the other side.

  “We heard rumors from the others that you ran off, toward the brook,” Ace explains. “We knew you’ve never taken this path before. It gets a little slippery when you’re not careful.”

  Susan holds a water bottle up to my lips. I take it from her and shove it in my mouth, the water soothing my dry throat.

  “Lin, I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here,” Susan says. “Well, we are the Community. That’s our purpose. Without other people, you die. But even though we’re all dead in the Liberty party’s eyes, now we can truly live.”

  “I know why you want to run away,” Ace admits. “I get it. I’ve been there. And Susan and the others had to come rescue me, too.”

  “From the brook?”

  “From myself.”

  His statement dangles in the air as the breeze sends a chill down my neck.

  As Ace pulls me up from the ground, I see it now. We’re meant to be connected, more connected than we were with the Internet. But why do I feel so alone? And at what cost am I willing to trust the people here?

  We walk on the path back down toward the cabins, my wet clothes sticking to my sweating skin. The material rubs against my legs, forcing me to waddle.

  “I’m sure the swim felt good,” Ace jokes, playfully bumping into me.

  “It only felt good when it was over.” I glance over at him and smile. “Thanks for rescuing me, by the way.”

  “Any time.”

  A large flock of little black birds fly up by the sky, making a “V” formation. The clouds are puffy and gray, slowly sweeping in front of the Sun. “That looks like rain,” Susan says, pointing toward the sky. “Better head inside.”

  “We can all hang out at my place,” I offer. “I have to shower anyway.”

  “Oh, yes. I enjoy spending time in your elite cabin.”

  I shake my head at Ace’s choice of words. “It’s not that special.”

  “You would only know how special it is once you see my cabin.”

  “Well, we have the rest of our lives to see each other’s cabin, I suppose.”

  After the words leave my mouth, a tension rises in my chest, the same one I felt that compelled me to run. The rest of our lives. I’ll be spending the rest of my life here. With these ten other people. Without technology.

  My statement hangs in the air, desperate for someone to pull it down and stuff it underground. No, I want one of them to say, it’s not true. They’re coming back for us. The Liberty party isn’t evil. Tobi’s just having a small glitch.

  But I can’t deny the truth. Mom’s arrested. Dad’s dead. Don and Sage are part of a rebel group with agenda that they refuse to tell us.

  When we make it back to my cabin, I open the door and run into the shower, eager to have a moment alone. This is it. My new normal. Don was right when he called me dead. There’s no way I could ever go back to my job as a finan
cial analyst, my townhouse in Windsor Terrace, my marriage, my dream of being a mother and having a house full of kids and a schedule full of fun activities.

  Now, my fun activities include taking showers and going to the dining hall. Oh, and falling off a ledge and nearly drowning.

  I come out of the shower to find Susan and Ace sitting on my couch, helping themselves to my snacks. “Hey!”

  “You know, Lin, it’s polite to offer your guests food or drinks when they visit,” Ace explains with a granola bar in his mouth. “I’d like some tea, please.”

  “I’ll make some for everyone,” I say, wringing out my wet hair into the towel around my neck.

  Susan reclines in my chair and Ace sits on my green sofa, in the same spot where he sat last time he was here. After pouring a cup of tea into three of my many mugs, I walk past her, and my hand inadvertently touches the back of her head. She snaps forward “Watch it! You almost touched my hair.”

  I inch back. “Oh, sorry, it was an accident. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

  “Not this time.” She rubs her neck and averts her eyes toward the wall. I sit down on the couch on the other side of my small living room, every muscle in my body relaxing after the stress of a long day.

  The tea slides down my hoarse throat, and I hum in delight. Finally, I feel a sense of peace.

  “So, what is up with your hair, anyway?” I ask. “Why did you have to make it a rule?”

  “Lin, don’t,” Ace says through thin lips. “Susan is very sensitive about her—”

  “It’s okay, Ace.” Susan looks down at her mug and purses her lips. “Lin has a right to learn about my scar.” She leans her neck to the side and moves the white hair away from her ear, revealing a red mark. “This is a kill switch. If someone touches it, whether by accident or on purpose, I die instantly.”

  The tea I’m drinking catches in my throat. “No way,” I croak.

  “Before she arrived here, someone put that kill switch in her,” Ace explains, his eyes fixed on his own mug. “We’re not sure who. She doesn’t remember.”