The First 100 Kisses

by Danielle Bannister

  “Well, it ain’t no walk in the park for me either, buddy.” I pushed him away. “Look, we don’t have to do this, you know?”

  “No, no. I want to. I just…”

  I sighed. “You just what? Don’t want to be practicing this with me, is that it?”

  “Chloe,” Liam said, his face was serious. “No. I can’t imagine anyone else I’d feel remotely safe enough to ask this of.”

  “Okay, so what is the problem?”

  He blew out a breath. “How do I keep…him down?”

  Ah. That’s why he looked away. He was trying to distract himself. I tried not to laugh as I didn’t want to bruise his already tender ego.

  “Well, I’m not a guy, but I’m guessing there isn’t a whole hell of a lot you can do, especially in situations like this, but having him show up to this party is actually a good thing.”

  “It is?”

  I nodded vehemently. “If I feel a guy’s erection against me while we’re making out, I am super turned on because it means I’m exciting him. It’s a power trip. If guy is able to also show restraint and not just screw me the first night, he always gets my respect and a second date. It’s hot as hell to know a guy wants you but is willing to wait for you.”

  “But you and I are not dating,” he said. “So how do I let my body know to not respond to kissing you.”

  I laughed out loud this time.

  “You don’t. Your cock and your brain don’t really communicate in the way you want them to, from what I understand of male anatomy. An erection is just a physical stimulus to an action. A reflex. Don’t worry about what I will think. If I feel your stiffy, I’m not going to assume you want to have sex with me. I know you can’t control it, so don’t worry about it. Can we get on with this? Or can I ditch you to do my laundry?”

  “Fine. Kiss me.”

  I smirked. “Since you asked so nicely.” I pulled him close to me again. “Now, I want you to pay close attention to what I do, because when I pull away, I’m going to want you to do the same thing to me. Got it?”

  His eyes nodded. He was focused. I could tell he was ready to perfect this challenge.

  “First up, is the ‘slow-burn’ kiss. This is an ideal first kiss to start with. At the end of the night, you’ve walked Angel to her car, thanked her for a great evening, then you lean in close to her, ever so slowly,” I whispered as I inched my lips closer to Liam’s. I licked my lips. “Your noses may touch first, that’s okay. Take your time. It’s important to go slow. The anticipation alone will drive you both wild if the chemistry is right.”

  Liam pushed himself backward. A concerned look was on his face.

  “What if it’s wrong?” he asked.

  I blinked a few times, not sure what he meant.

  “The chemistry,” he clarified. “What if it’s wrong? How will I know?”

  I shrugged. “You’ll just know. It’s one of life’s great mysteries. It either is or it isn’t. Your body will respond with good chemistry, and not just your penis getting hard. Your skin will feel hypersensitive to her touch. You’ll have the urge to pull her closer to you, but no matter how close she is, it won’t be close enough.”

  His face had gone from concern to panic already thinking worst-case scenarios of not having the right chemistry with her.

  “But don’t forget, you already like Angel. You know you have chemistry with her, so that will be the easy part.”

  His shoulders relaxed, almost as though he hadn’t considered that.

  “The area you need to focus on is the physical mechanics,” I continued. “And that’s not going to happen if you don’t get over here and actually let me kiss you.” I was starting to get offended. “I mean, Jesus, Liam, I know I’m not the girl you want to be kissing, but would it kill you to at least pretend that kissing your best friend wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world?”

  “I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. I am being selfish and childish. I promise, I’ll be a good student. I am ready to be instructed, Ms. Clark. Do your worst.” He smirked.

  Oh, dear Liam, you are so not ready for my worst, but if you insist…

  My hands shot out and latched onto his shirt. Like lightning, I pulled him against my core, hard. I heard him grunt but I didn’t stop my attack. Before he could protest, my lips crashed into his. I knew it was wrong to spring a new kiss on him, but I wanted to wipe the arrogance off his face. And judging by his reaction, it worked.

  At first, his lips were firm against mine. Unyielding. Clearly, he was struggling with what he was supposed to do. To help loosen him up, I took one of his hands and cupped it over my boob. He tried to move it away, but I held it there. Making sure he could feel my hardened nipple through my thin layers.

  He seemed to respond, because his lips opened a bit and a small moan escaped. I took that opportunity to dart the tip of my tongue inside his mouth. My other hand stayed anchored at the back of his head. My fingers dug into his hair, pushing our faces as close as they could be. My lips moved against his as he tried to mirror my actions. It was sloppy, for sure, as he’d never kissed quite like this, but I didn’t relent. I didn’t allow him to back away. I kept at my fevered pace until his hand seemed to understand how to caress my breast. Satisfied that he would continue, I slid my hand against his shirt and landed on his own pec, to return the favor.

  Liam moaned again, and I hate to admit it, but it got me wet. Not that I could blame my poor body. It had been far too long since I’d had a man in my bed, and my cobwebbed lady bits were ready to play with anything. Even the best friend. That’s when I knew I had to end the kiss. I couldn’t let my brain get confused about what this was and what it wasn’t. Boundaries, remember, Chloe?

  Abruptly, I pulled out of the kiss and pushed Liam away, who had, understandably, grown hard. Fuck, that was a good kiss for his first time. Wet, a bit too aggressive, but still good.

  Panting, Liam looked at me as though he knew I’d done something wrong.

  “Sorry,” I muttered. “That was not the ‘slow burn’ kiss. That was the ‘I wanna fuck your brains out’ kiss. My bad.”

  “I wondered,” Liam said. “That was…um…”

  “Uncalled for, I know.”

  Liam cleared his throat. “I was going to say, intense. Is that normal? I felt…”

  “What?” My curiosity was peaked.

  “Well, a bit out of control. It was as though my hands were doing things that I hadn’t instructed them to do.”

  I laughed. “Well, to be fair, I did sort of force one of your hands to do my bidding.”

  He blushed. “Yes, but I could have moved my hand as soon as I knew what you were doing. I was…curious. It felt, dangerous somehow. Forbidden. Is that normal?”

  Smiling, I nodded. “Yes, that’s what I mean about chemistry. Your body will just know what to do without you having to instruct it. And the more you practice, the more natural it will feel.”

  Liam considered that, cocked his head, then took a step forward and grabbed my shirt, much the way I had pulled on his shirt a moment ago.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Following instructions. You said I needed to pay attention and repeat what you did. Step one. Grab onto the shirt.”

  I chuckled. “Touché, but might I suggest you grab her hips instead of her shirt? Angel won’t like it if you wrinkle her outfit.”

  He looked down at the fisted clothing and made a face at the wrinkle sitting in the middle of my shirt. Dropping the fabric, his hands went tentatively to my hips.

  “No. If you’re going in for the kill, don’t be coy. Grab my waist. Hold it firm and pull me to you,” I instructed.

  Liam clenched his jaw against my correction, but he grabbed onto my waist and pulled me close.

  “Now what, smarty pants?” I smirked.

  “I wipe that smug look off your face with my lips.”

  “Good boy,” I taunted.

  And…that’s when he head-butted me.

  C
hapter 5

  “Chloe? Are you okay?” Liam was hunched over me. His hands cradled my own as they pressed against the pain in my forehead. Ow. Miss-marked kisses hurt more than I remembered. He came in too fast and too hard. A rookie mistake, it wasn’t his fault. I should have warned him about fast approaches, but I hadn’t expected him to attempt such a bold kiss so fast. Once the stars disappeared, I looked up at Liam. He’d gone white with worry.

  “Well, that’s one way to knock her out,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

  He rubbed his hands over his face and began to pace. “I’m so sorry, Chloe. I told you. I can’t do this. I can’t. I need to call Angel and cancel.”

  I hopped off the counter and grabbed onto his arm. “You will do no such thing, mister.”

  “Chloe, I could give her a concussion, too!”

  I laughed despite my best effort not to. “I don’t have a concussion, silly. It was just a head bonk. No big deal. Besides, you won’t be kissing her like that on Friday. In fact, we’re taking that particular kiss off the menu for now. That was my fault for even introducing it to you.”

  “Why did you?” he asked suddenly.

  “Hmmm?” I replied, stalling for time.

  “Why did you choose to kiss me like that, instead of your planned instruction?”

  “Honestly? Because you were pissing me off with your, ‘show me how it’s done, teacher’ face and I wanted to prove to you that I did, in fact, know what I was talking about, and I thought after kissing you that way, you’d start showing me some damn respect,” I huffed.

  “You were right to scold me,” he said after a moment. “I was being condescending. It’s exceedingly frustrating that something as simple as a kiss can be such an obscure concept for me to grasp.”

  I went over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched. Probably thinking I was going to try another surprise kiss.

  “Here’s what people don’t realize. Kissing isn’t as easy as it looks in the movies. They take a ton of shots to get that one moment perfect. What we don’t see? Are the strings of spit on their lips as they pull apart, or the teeth that scrape together, the noses that squash in an unflattering way. It’s smoke and mirrors. It’s not like life at all. You’re not going to be an expert the first time. No one is. Practice makes perfect, right? You’ll get the hang of it. Promise.” His shoulders were still stiff. He was stuck in his head. All he could focus on was his failure. I had to shake things up.

  “Okay, I have an idea,” I said. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  “A walk?”

  “Yes. A change of venue to clear your head.”

  “A walk sounds nice,” he said. The relief showed on his face. He wanted out of these close quarters. I wagged a finger at him.

  “Not so fast. This is a working walk. We’ll be holding hands the whole time. You need to get used to physical contact. You can’t flinch if Angel touches your shoulder like you just did with me.”

  He sighed, but nodded.

  “I’ll be throwing in a few surprise pecks on the cheek or mouth as we walk, too. You need to be ready for those small, spontaneous moments. If you pull away when she goes in for a kiss, then this will be all for naught, right?”

  He considered my suggestion. “So, we will be holding hands and maybe a few chaste kisses in public. I think I can do that.”

  “When we come back, we’ll return where we left off here. I know this is fast for you, but you’re the moron who agreed to up the date a week.”

  “Yes,” he agreed. “I realize now how foolish that was, in retrospect. I panicked, admittedly. I’ve taken the week off though, to prepare.”

  I looked up at him. Must be nice to just decide not to go to work for a week.

  “What?” he asked, clearly reading my expression. “I had a lot of accrued time. If I don’t use it by the end of the year, I lose it. I would have had to take the time soon anyway, and this seemed like a worthy cause.”

  “Can I be you when I grow up?” I asked.

  Liam didn’t seem to understand the joke, and I didn’t have the patience to explain to him what it was like being poor, so I tugged at his shirt.

  “Come on, let’s go.”

  He let me pull him out of the apartment building and down the street. I zipped up my jacket as he adjusted his scarf. It was the one I got him last Christmas. The tartan colors of Outlander. He wore it not because he liked it, but because I made him feel guilty when he didn’t. I was an awesome friend.

  “Let’s just walk down Congress Street awhile. There’s a great soup and sandwich shop that opens early. We can hash out our schedules there.”

  “Our schedules?” he asked.

  I took his hand in mine and he looked down at our entwined hands a moment, as though he’d forgotten about this part.

  “Relax, Liam. It’s just my hand.”

  “I know,” he said, trying to play off his nerves.

  His hand felt large in mine, as I expected. Warm and… scaly? I yanked my hand free and looked at his.

  “Dude, your hands are like a lizard’s. Why are they so dry?”

  He shrugged. “I presume because it’s winter.”

  “Don’t you ever use lotion?”

  That was a stupid question. I’d seen his medicine cabinet. Of course he didn’t. Who would have told him to do it? Sighing, I dug into my purse and pulled out my travel bottle and squirted a glob on his hands.

  He made a face. “Is this really necessary?” he asked, looking at the pink pile on his hands.

  “Essential. No woman is going want to hang onto these scaly palms, let alone touch her anywhere else. Now rub that in.”

  Liam looked from me to the mound in his hand.

  “Real men lube,” I countered, making him blush.

  “Seriously, you need to take this and use it several times a day. It’s your mandatory homework. I can’t, in good conscious, let these hands rub against bare breasts. You could take a nipple off!” I shrieked.

  “Fine, fine, I’ll use the lotion, can you stop talking about breasts now?” he whispered, clearly worried by what people passing by might think. What he didn’t realize, what he would never realize, is that no one cared what you did. I could pull my pants down and pee on the sidewalk and people would just walk around the puddle.

  While he rubbed his hands together I couldn’t help but chuckle at the faces of disgust he made.

  “It’ll be good for you. It’ll put hair on your chest,” I laughed.

  “I have enough of that already,” he said. The comment threw me. Suddenly I was picturing Liam without a shirt and wondering just how hairy he was. Bad, Chloe! Put his imaginary shirt back on!

  “Better?” he said, bringing me back into the moment. He was showing me both of his hands. I grabbed one and held it.

  “Much better. I’d let a hand this soft touch my boobs any day,” I said with a wink as he blushed five shades of red. Laughing, I tugged him along until his long legs caught up with my shorter stride.

  “So, tell me about Angel,” I said stroking my thumb against the back of his hand. To his credit, he didn’t flinch. He merely looked down at what I was doing then repeated the gesture on my hand. I suppressed a smile. Fast learner.

  “She went to the all-girls Christian school across the bridge from my house. I started attending church with her on Wednesdays and Sundays, mostly so I could see her. We didn’t sit in the same pews, mind you, but we made eye contact often.”

  “Wow. That’s…um, dedication. Going to church just to sneak a few glances at a girl.”

  He shrugged. “It was a small sacrifice to pay.”

  “How long did you date?” I swung our arms back and forth and he made a face, though let me continue to be playful.

  “Well, her parents certainly wouldn’t call what we were doing dating, but about three years.”

  “Three years and you never did more than hold hands and give chaste kisses?” It was impossible. It didn’t compute in my pea
brain.

  “You have to understand what it was like back then. We didn’t exactly have the freedom to interact. Her family was far stricter than my military family. Even though they knew me, and I went to their church, without my parents I might add, they didn’t trust me. If I came over to help her with her homework, we were supervised with one of her parents in the room the whole time.”

  “Wow. That is strict.”

  “Her mother thought I was bad influence, despite all of my assurances to prove otherwise. She was convinced I was sent to take her only daughter away from doing God’s work. They wanted her to join a convent after high school. She, naturally, did not share her parent’s wishes. I suppose they felt I was the reason she didn’t want that path, but I assure you, I had no influence on her in that regard.”

  “Yeah, she probably said ‘no thanks’ when she learned about the celibacy part.”

  “Perhaps,” he said.

  I couldn’t relate to how Angel was raised. My family was basically the opposite. They held a very loose reign. They allowed me too much freedom, if I were honest. Probably why I lost my virginity at fifteen. In my own bed…during a “homework” session. Whoopsie.

  “Okay, so after you graduated, what happened with you two then?”

  “Well, not much. She still had another year.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You went after a younger woman? Shocker. So, did you move out then?”

  He shook his head as we came to an intersection and pulled me away from the edge of the road when I neglected to stop.

  “No. I stayed with my folks another year at the house. I got a job, though, to pay my way. I worked at a local book shop.”

  “At least you weren’t a freeloader. That must have impressed her folks?” I asked.

  “Well, it was at her mom’s store where I worked. A religious bookstore. They only sold clean fiction and other spiritual texts. It kept me away from Angel quite a lot. Of course, that’s why she offered me the job, but back then, I thought I was making headway with her mother.”

  “Of course,” I guffawed. What different lives we led. It was starting to become clear why he knew so little about relationships.