The First 100 Kisses

by Danielle Bannister

  “Okay, so during that year, after you graduated, working at the bookstore, did you get to take her out on dates, then?”

  “No. But we did write letters…”

  “Oh my god. Okay, when was your first kiss?”

  “Just before she left for college.”

  The signal for us to walk came on but I didn’t budge.

  “You’re shitting me. You dated this girl for three years and you didn’t get a kiss until the day she left for college?”

  “It was several kisses in a row,” he said, as though defending his honor.

  “With no tongue,” I reminded him.

  “Well, no, but it was still memorable.” This poor man had lived such a sheltered life. It explained so much.

  “Let me ask you this, were those kisses…Were they anything like what we just did in my apartment?”

  “Definitely not,” he said without a second of hesitation.

  I let out a breath. Poor, poor, Liam. He’d missed out on puberty.

  “Okay, so once she left for college …how often did you two get together?”

  He pulled me across the intersection, seeming to dodge the question.

  “Where is this sandwich place?” he asked looking down the block and not at me. He was dodging the question.

  “Several more blocks, and it’s only like 10:00, so we have time to kill, so why don’t you quit stalling and dish?”

  “I beg your pardon?” he asked, all innocent like.

  “Okay, let’s sit a moment.” I gestured to a black metal bench that lined the street.

  “That’s a bus stop,” he said.

  “So?”

  “So, if a bus comes, he’ll think we want a ride.”

  “We’ll wave it away, Jesus, Liam, loosen up. It’s a bench. It’s meant to be sat on.”

  He relented and sat down on the bench. He tried to pull his hand away, but I wouldn’t let him.

  “Nope. That hand is mine, mister. I will make you comfortable with a woman’s touch if it kills me!”

  “What do you want from me?” Liam asked, clearly agitated.

  “What happened when she went to college?”

  He sighed. “We broke up.”

  My eyes grew wide. “She broke up with you? After you spent three years just looking at her?”

  “She met someone there. I don’t want to talk about it,” He was clearly upset by this line of questioning. “I told you. I don’t know how to do this, Chloe.” His voice was strained. He was embarrassed. Ashamed. Angry. He was uncomfortable because he didn’t have the knowledge. He’d sort of skipped that part in adolescence where boys and girls figured this shit out with trial and error. He was behind the 8-ball, but he could catch up. All he needed was practice.

  “You’re right, you don’t know how to do this,” I said. He looked at me. “But, it’s not your fault. Were you good at math when you first started?”

  His face scrunched up at the absurdity. “Well that’s a preposterous question. Of course not. It took years to learn the skillset. Multiple repetitive quotations until they became rote. Financial planning isn’t something you just wake up and decide to do, Chloe. It takes years of discipline. Study.”

  “Exactly,” I said, smiling. “It’s the same with kissing. Hell, I didn’t feel confident kissing a boy until I’d kissed someone at least a hundred times.”

  Liam’s eyes grew wide.

  “Oh, calm down. Not a hundred different boys. I meant a hundred kisses spread out over like…four boys.”

  That seemed to relieve him some.

  “So, I just need practice and then I’ll be fine?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. That’s why I’ve offered up my lips as guinea pigs, silly boy.” I waited until he looked at me to finish my thought. “Liam, I know there is a great kisser in you. I’ve seen the makings of it already. You’ll get there. I promise. Angel’s not going to know what hit her.”

  I felt my hand get a squeeze from him.

  “Thank you, Chloe. You have no idea how much it means that you are willing to do this for me. How can I ever repay you?”

  I squeezed his hand back. “Don’t thank me yet. Our practice time probably won’t be as long as you have concocted in your mind, but I’ll teach you what I can between my shifts.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked. His hair blew around in the wind which made him far hotter than he had any right to be. I resisted the urge to run my hands through it, even though it would be well within my teachable range.

  “It means, the rent is due, and tips have sucked the last few weeks. As much fun as it is teaching you the birds and the bees, I need a roof over my head more.”

  He nodded once. “How much are you short?”

  “I’m only about $200 short,” I sighed, “which, I might be able to scrape up if I can get a double or two this week.”

  Liam reached into his back pocket and opened his wallet. He handed me three one hundred dollar bills.

  “There. Now you are free all week, right?”

  I looked at the money he’d placed in my hand.

  “Liam, did you really just pay me to kiss you for the week like some common prostitute?”

  I watched him flounder trying to come up with the right thing to say before I let him off the hook with a laugh.

  “I’m going to take your money, because I hate my job and because I love you and know you need help, but mostly because I know you’re a miser and have a ton of money so this wouldn’t hurt you the same way it would me.”

  “I’m not a miser,” Liam said.

  “What was the last big purchase you made?”

  “I just paid the next six months on my rent,” he said as though he won that point.

  I rolled my eyes. “No, Liam. No, that doesn’t count. What frivolous thing have you recently paid for? Something you didn’t need but that you wanted?”

  “Kissing lessons with my best friend?”

  I burst out laughing and leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. It was meant to be something short, sweet, and unexpected. He needed to be ready for those sneak attack kisses that meant nothing more than, thank you. Yet, when I tried to pull back from that quick kiss, I found that he had opened his lips, either in shock or in anticipation of another ‘fuck me’ kiss. I wasn’t going to thwart the boy for being receptive to learn. I changed course, and instead of the chaste kiss I planned, I slipped him some tongue instead. Nothing grotesque, but not exactly an appropriate display of PDA either. He was tense, but was doing well following my lead. I could have kept going all day, but I knew he was probably worried about onlookers, so I pulled away, smiling.

  “Not bad, kid,” I said, standing up. “Your lips were still too timid and firm, but you let me get some tongue in there, so that’s huge!” I beamed.

  Liam looked pleased with himself. “I’ll do better next time. After all, I only need , 97 more kisses to reach expert level.”

  I punched him in the shoulder playfully. “Now you’ve got the right attitude! Come on, we need to stop at work so I can let them know I’ve flown the coop for a few days, then you can treat me to lunch.”

  Hand in hand, we walked toward work. I leaned my head on his arm. Liam was a good guy. He deserved this date, this moment with Angel, to be perfect. I was determined to help him deliver a kiss that would make her regret ever leaving him. After all, that’s what friends were for.

  Chapter 6

  Walking into the restaurant to ditch my shifts, I had to fake a smile. Janet was at the hostess desk. I loathed her with every fiber of my being. I didn’t think it was possible to hate her any more than I did until I saw her sizing up Liam. Oh no, you don’t. Claws off my friend.

  Janet was a sex addict, like she legit would hump anything that was between her legs. No joke. I didn’t even like standing near her for fear of the STDs she had to be crawling with. Seriously. Men were drawn to her like a moth to the flame, and for good reason. The woman, as much as I de
spised her, was gorgeous. Long blond hair, bronzed skin and molasses colored eyes. Couple that with the skinny black dresses with the deep necklines and, well, she oozed sex.

  I glanced at Liam, expecting him to be drooling over Janet like all the other fools who walked in, but he wasn’t. He was looking at me. Without meaning it to, my heart fluttered.

  “I didn’t know you were on tonight, Chloe,” Janet said feigning politeness. “Who’s your friend?” She leaned over her hostess counter and squeezed her tits together. Bitch.

  “I’m not working. Just need to pop in back for a sec. And this isn’t a friend,” I said, hatching the plan in the moment. I grabbed Liam’s shirt, like I had at my place. “He’s my boyfriend,” then pulled him in for a kiss. I had to shield him from the wolves. A kiss like this would tell Janet in language she would understand that he was off limits. It was for his protection only.

  I could tell I’d taken Liam by surprise. His whole body was ridged. It didn’t matter. My hand was cupped on his face, effectively hiding the shit kiss from Janet’s eyes. I pulled back and moaned a bit for effect.

  “I’ll be right back, lover,” I winked at a very confused looking Liam.

  Leaving Liam with Janet was risky, but I couldn’t take him in the back as that was against the rules. The kiss was the only deterrent needed. I knew she didn’t like sloppy seconds. So, I held my breath and went to the board as fast as I could to remove my pleas for shifts and post getting rid of some. The Universe was on my side, because Ron was there, and he happily took my remaining three lunches for the week. And just like that, I was free as a bird to spend the week kissing my best friend. How strange.

  After thanking Ron profusely, I went back out to rescue Liam, who was sitting in the waiting area of the restaurant. Janet, oddly enough, was nowhere to be found.

  “Ready?” I asked, anxious to get the hell out of here before she came back.

  “Are you going to tell me what that just was?” He gestured to the spot where I’d kissed him and, gulp, called him my boyfriend.

  “That,” I said, linking my arm through his, “would be an excellent topic to talk about over lunch.”

  He narrowed his eyes, but he was merciful and didn’t bring it up again until after our orders for lunch were placed. I knew I was in for it when Liam leaned back in his chair and smirked at me.

  “Was I just used back there?” he asked with an impish grin.

  “Yeah, about that…”

  “I feel like I was used somehow,” he said. For someone who had been taken advantage of, he certainly didn’t look upset about it. In fact, he looked down right giddy.

  “It was for your benefit, not mine, buddy. So, you can wipe that pleased-as-punch look off your face.”

  “How was your kissing me in front of your boss for my benefit?” he laughed.

  I rolled my eyes. “One, that skank is not my boss. She just thinks she is. And two, Janet has slept with anything within a ten-mile radius from her. Avoid her like the plague, or you’ll end up with something far worse than that.”

  “Well, I thank you for the gesture, but I had no desire to sleep with her.”

  “It wouldn’t matter what you wanted,” I said, exasperated. He clearly didn’t know how she worked. “She has a way of sinking her hooks into men. And trust me, she wanted to eat you up. My kissing you threw her off your scent for the moment, so fair warning. And you’re welcome.”

  Liam raised an eyebrow. “Well, I think you’re overreacting. She wasn’t interested in me in that way.”

  Sighing, I grabbed my napkin and placed it over my lap before I ended up losing my temper and throwing it at him for being blind as a damn bat.

  “Oh, come on, Liam. You know women find you dead sexy. Which is going to be great once you know what to do with it. But until then, you have to stay off the menu. Especially to women like Janet. For your own personal safety.”

  Liam leaned across the table. “You think I’m sexy?”

  I wagged a finger at him. “I didn’t say that, I said women find you sexy. Not me, specifically.”

  “Oh, so you aren’t a woman?” He was having a laugh at my expense.

  “Shut up, Liam,” God, I hated it when he used my own words against me. “You know what I meant.”

  “Well, you needn’t worry about me, Chloe.” He took a sip of his water. A trickle of condensation ran down the glass and he caught it with his finger. “A girl like Janet really isn’t my type,” he said, absently licking away the water drop. Damn. That was sexy, and he had no clue. He exudes sex appeal without even knowing it.

  “Um, I beg to differ,” I said, bringing myself back into the conversation. “She’s thin, blond, and at least a C cup. That seems to be exactly your preference.”

  He shook his head, almost as though disgusted.

  “That’s incorrect. I don’t choose women like Janet to date because I’m physically attracted to them. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”

  “Huh?”

  “Well, the less they look like Angel, the better. She’s ruined me for brunettes.” He said, winking. He actually winked at me and my brown head of hair. Asshat.

  “That actually makes sense, in a sick and twisted sort of way,” I said. I looked at him and shook my head. “You are a very complex guy, Liam MacGeary.”

  “I’m like an ogre. I have layers.”

  He smiled, knowing I’d catch the Shrek reference. It was one of many movies that were in heavy rotation at my house. My radio or TV were almost always on. I didn’t like a quiet house. I needed the background noise. White noise provided me with a false sense of security. It also helped me feel like I wasn’t all alone in the world, which sounded horribly tragic and sad, and was why no one knew that about me. Not even Liam.

  Our food arrived, allowing a break in the conversation while we took our first bites. A BLT on wheat for Liam and Tomato bisque for me. Three sips into the soup, however, and I regretted my choice.

  “Fuck me,” I moaned.

  “Already? Don’t we need to keep practicing the kisses?” Liam asked. He wore a look of amusement on his face that he’d made a funny.

  “While I appreciate the fact that you are finally understanding sexual innuendo, in this case, I didn’t mean anything by it. I spilled soup on my shirt.”

  Liam looked at the murder scene on my chest, then quickly dug inside his pocket and opened his wallet, producing what looked like a wet nap.

  “What is that?” I asked.

  “It’s a stain remover towelette,” he said as though that were the most normal sentence to ever utter.

  “A stain remover towelette?” I parroted.

  “Yes, so your shirt won’t stain.” He seemed confused that I wasn’t taking it.

  I rolled my eyes but took the wipe, ripping open the package and dabbing it against the spill.

  “Only you,” I said.

  “Only me, what?”

  “Only you would carry a stain removing towelette in your wallet! Most guys carry condoms with them. You? Stain remover!”

  Liam seemed embarrassed. No, not embarrassed. Ashamed.

  “I suppose I have more use for the towelettes than I do condoms,” he said, pushing a chip on his plate.

  He looked like a damaged puppy in a shelter nobody wanted. My heart broke for him.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, genuinely upset I’d inadvertently offended him. “But that is what we’re working toward fixing. When we are done with you, you’ll be able to pin Angel against the wall and…” I saw his face redden and decided to take mercy on him. “What I’m trying to say,” I reached over and gave his hand a squeeze, “Is thanks for always being prepared for whatever life throws at me.”

  I felt his hand squeeze around mine. “And thank you for helping with the areas that I don’t know how to maneuver.”

  “Yet,” I said. He’d get there. I had faith. “So, tell me. Have you heard from her lately?”

  Liam seemed far away, but he nodded. “She texted m
e last night.”

  “Ack, dish! What did she say?” How dare he leave me in the dark about this? “Spill it. I want the blow-by-blow.”

  He shrugged. “She was just confirming dinner reservations. We’re going to try out that new Italian place on State Street.”

  “You hate Italian,” I said.

  “I do, but apparently she enjoys it.”

  “Sure. But a fancy dinner is good. It means she’s totally interested in you.”

  He cocked his head. “It does? How?”

  I took a sip of my soup. “Well,” I said around my spoon like the classy lady that I am, “let me ask you this. Was it her idea or yours to go to there for dinner?”

  “Hers.”

  “There ya go,” I said. “She likes you.”

  “Explain, please.”

  I put down my spoon.

  “Think about it. If she wasn’t interested in something serious with you, she would have suggested coffee. In broad daylight, in case you turned out to be a nut job. That’s the norm with a first date. It’s safer that way, easy to escape. One cup of coffee and you’re free. Now, because she knows you…she could have suggested you go for drinks, which means she doesn’t think you’re a perv and there is potential to continue the evening after, but it’s still socially acceptable to leave after only one drink.”

  Liam shifted in his seat. “Okay. So, what does dinner mean?”

  “Ah, well, dinner means that she’s prepared to spend several hours with you. A woman who suggests going to dinner with her is saying, unless you blow it, she is all in.”

  “All in?”

  “You could close the deal if you play your cards right.”

  Liam pushed back in his chair.

  “I’m not ready for that, am I?” There was sincere panic on his face.

  “Relax,” I said, picking my wrap back up. “She’s not going south of the elastic band border this weekend. We’re just going to make her wish she could go there.”

  He let out a breath. “Right. Okay.” He began to drum his thumb on the table. His sandwich was only half eaten but I could tell his mind was no longer on food. He was in full panic mode. I waved my hand to the waiter.