Goddess of Forgetfulness

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “I see your point.” Sadness filled Roberto’s dark brown eyes. “One day, this will all be over, and you will be forced to dispose of our malicious offspring.”

  “Yes, because as Goddess of the Underworld, it is my job to vanquish evil souls and take them away. Unless it’s Wednesday, in which case we all just have lunch.” Her eyes widened with fear. “Roberto, I have to get my powers back. I have to find a way to change course.”

  He groaned. “Cimil, my bitter melon ball of love and destruction,” he took her hand, “haven’t you learned by now? Every time you meddle, bad things happen. Not that I don’t enjoy the excitement of always being on the edge of obliteration, but you cannot believe that trying to alter destiny will have a happy outcome. Look at where we are now—the Universe thrown into a state of chaos from the last time you tried to fix things.” He made little air quotes when saying the word fix.

  She stomped her bare foot in the mud. “Don’t you dare blame me for this. I did what was needed in order to avoid the last apocalypse and save the entire planet from becoming slaves to evil vampires and the Maaskab.”

  “Yes, but you were the one who assisted them in the first place.”

  “Only because I was trying to fix the last problem I’d cause because I’d—oh, sauerkraut. Fine. I make a mess of things. But what are you suggesting I do now? Just let my children be born little angels so they end up the most wicked beings ever to roam the earth?”

  “Perhaps you simply allow fate to run its course.”

  “Fate is a giant pig whore. She can suck it,” Cimil snarled.

  “I do not mean your sister Fate. I mean the force of destiny intertwined within us all.”

  “No. I can’t take the risk that things will simply work out. That faith bullshit is for humans and pussies. I’m a god. I was created by the Universe specifically to meddle. Proof being that she gave me powers.” She drew a breath. “I have to try, Roberto. I must.”

  He took her hand and kissed the top. “Then what do you propose?”

  “For starters, I need to get my powers back, but now that’ll be impossible since someone has stolen my piggy bank. Which leaves only one option.”

  “Please do not tell me it involves clowns. I’m still recovering from the last botched clown world rescue.”

  That hadn’t gone well. All that juggling.

  She shivered. “No. I’m thinking that if I can’t blackmail my brethren into returning my powers, then I will have to scare them into doing so.” She grinned. “We’ll have to create a situation so horrific, so shockingly ugly that they will have no choice but to beg for my assistance.”

  “You want to bring back disco, don’t you? I knew there was a reason you keep petitioning for John Travolta’s immortality.”

  “No. I want to bring back the Maaskab army.”

  He gave her a stern look. “Nooo, Cimil. That is far too risky. The Maaskab are too powerful when they have numbers on their side, and we are no match for any of them. We got lucky the last time they tried to take over.”

  True. The Maaskab had teamed up with evil vampires, drinking their blood, which gave them physical powers beyond any deity’s, including the ability to sift. Their big mistake had been only taking blood from Roberto’s evil vampire brother. With his brother’s death, that entire bloodline perished. The Maaskab wouldn’t be so foolish this time around.

  “Well.” Cimil threw her arms around Roberto’s neck, the moonlight dancing through the trees on his black hair. She loved looking at him. She also loved that she could always count on him to do her bidding. “Then I suppose we’ll just have to ensure all of the Maaskab are killed after I get my powers back.” And, more importantly, before the Universe righted herself again. For the time being, however, the Maaskab were the nicest people on the planet. Her nanny included.

  Such a shame he won’t stay good forever. He bakes the best cookies and the kids just adore storytime. He really knew how to scare the hell out of them with tales from his good old days—ripping out virgins’ hearts, plucking out people’s eyeballs—all sorts of squishy fun!

  “Let’s get back home,” she said. “Oh, and since I’ll be busy rounding up the remaining Maaskab and finding new recruits for their army today, I’ll need your help setting up Forgetty’s speed-dating party—we still have her little sitch to deal with.” Of course, if Cimil got her powers back, she would hopefully find a way to maneuver around all this.

  Of course, if I fail…kablewy!

  “I’d almost forgotten about your sister.” Roberto ran his hands through his long black hair and then scratched his scruffy beard. “Listen, cupcake, I would love to assist, but I know nothing about matchmaking. Perhaps I should deal with the Maaskab instead.”

  “No. Let me deal with the Scabs. As for Forgetty, I’ve already put out feelers and compiled a list of eligible immortal men. You just have to screen the candidates.” Cimil patted Roberto’s cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Then let us get home. I’m sure the children will be waking soon, and we don’t want them killing more neighbors.”

  “Right. Oh! And if you don’t mind, can we make a quick stop? I have to free Minky from some fucking mermen.”

  Roberto’s face contorted. “Ick. I hate mermen. They smell funny—like fish and expensive cologne.”

  “Well, they’re about to smell like a Japanese dinner. ’Cause one look at you and they’ll sushita themselves.” Cimil snorted. “Get it. Because they smell like sushi…” Her voice faded off as she realized Roberto didn’t laugh with her. “Oh, fuck off. That was funny. Let’s go.”

  “Of course, but might I ask, what of Tula?”

  “Dammit! I forgot about her, too. Well, she’s on her own now. I can’t deal with my uterus dumplings, creating a Maaskab army, getting my powers back, speed dating for Forgetty, and saving Tula from Zac, and Zac from the mermen, all while looking fabulous for you and keeping the world in check. Sacrifices must be made, which means Tula will have to fend for herself.”

  “Do you think she will be all right?” Roberto asked.

  Cimil shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

  Zac and Tula crouched behind the shadow of a leafy bush, waiting for the coast to be clear on the dock.

  “These mermen sure are a busy people,” Tula noted.

  In the last hour they’d watched them load and unload boats, carrying supplies inland. It was the middle of the night. Didn’t they ever sleep?

  “They’re godsdamned annoying is what they are. We’ll never get to my yacht like this.”

  “Zac?” Tula whispered, wrapping her soft hands around the crook of his arm. “I didn’t know you knew how to sail a boat.”

  “Errr…” Dang it. He actually didn’t. And if the poor captain hadn’t been freed from the closet, he’d certainly be dead by now.

  Zac’s heart cramped with guilt. He couldn’t believe the horrible things he’d done, including killing the entire crew of that ship and five of the mermen he’d fought with. Not that Zac had an affinity for the cocky bastards, but it went against everything in his soul to kill unnecessarily. At least good people. The bad ones, not so much. When he got through this, he was going to make amends to the poor families of all the victims. He’d start with apologizing to Roen. Certainly a man such as himself, his entire culture once enslaved and forced to perform senseless killing, would understand why Zac had done such vile things.

  Or I may need to do them again if we are caught. Though Zac hoped it wouldn’t be the case, men born into warrior cultures understood that protecting one’s mate stood above all else. And, certainly, Roen would understand how he’d been manipulated by Cimil. This entire situation had been her fault.

  And foolish me for ever listening to my sister. When would he learn? Once this is straightened out, I’m going to make sure Cimil pays and justice is served. She’d lied to him every step of the way, telling him that Tula was not his mate.

  She is the love of my existence. So much so th
at he would give up everything for her, including his desire. Just as long as I have her in my life and by my side. But that meant protecting her, keeping her pure heart intact so that she would always love him.

  “I saw a rowboat down the shore, Tula. We will have to leave in that and make our way back to the mainland.”

  “I will go anywhere with you, Mr. Zac. As long as we are together.”

  He turned and looked at her sweet face glowing in the moonlight. “I won’t ever leave you, my love. Not ever.”

  They made their way to the small rowboat and Zac helped her in.

  “Zac?” Two hours later, Tula shivered against Zac’s body as the small wooden dinghy bobbed in the ocean. “I’m c-cold. So cold.”

  Fucking hell. I did not think this through. It was the dead of winter, the middle of the night, and the rough waters of the North Pacific was no place for a human in a cotton dress. A wet one at that. He’d just been so focused on escaping that he hadn’t stopped to think of her safety. He’d never been someone’s protector, never thought of anyone but himself, and now he realized just how unequipped he was for the job.

  I am. The worst. God. Ever.

  Zac pulled her closer, running his hand over her long wet hair. “I’m so sorry, Tula. I forgot how fragile you are.”

  “Wha-what are we go-going to do?” She shivered out her words, her warm breath creating puffs of steam in the moonlight.

  If they hadn’t already, it wouldn’t be long before the mermen discovered that the two of them had escaped. Soon they’d send men on boats and in the water to hunt for them.

  Or rescue us. At least Tula would be. He’d be tossed to the bottom of the ocean.

  I don’t care. “We must turn back, my love,” he said, rubbing his hands on her shoulders. “Otherwise, you will freeze out here.”

  “Z-Z-Zac?”

  “Yes, my love?”

  “I can’t feel my fingers.”

  His heart sank into the deep dark waters beneath them. He had nothing to offer her save the warmth of his own body, which wasn’t enough.

  He let her go and moved to the middle bench, taking the oars. He began rowing with brute strength. “Hang on, Tula. You just need to make it for another hour. Maybe two. The mermen are out there searching, and I will make sure they find us.”

  For thirty minutes, he pumped his arms, pushing the small vessel through the choppy waves. But with each stroke, he could see her lips turning bluer, her eyes closing. He could either row or try to keep her warm, buying her precious minutes, but he could not do both.

  He ceased rowing.

  “Why did you s-s-stop-p?” she muttered.

  “Fuck, Tula.” His eyes filled with tears as he came to her side and tried to keep her from going into hypothermia. “I’m a god. And this is the best I can do for you?” This cannot be.

  “All I ever wanted was to f-fall in love w-with a man, w-with all my heart. You gave me th-that.”

  “And I love you, Tula. I truly do.”

  She slowly moved her head from side to side, the spray of waves hitting them in the face. “Then hold me. Make love to me. But d-don’t let me die like thi-this.”

  He pulled her head into his chest. “Tula, I can’t begin to tell you how much you’ve meant to me, how you’ve changed me. Not just as a god, but as a man. For the first time in seventy thousand years, I understand what love is, which only stings harder. Because in the moment when it matters most, when I would give anything to save you—my life, my eternal soul, my really awesome hair—I am helpless. I have nothing to give you but my love, yet it won’t save you.”

  “It’s e-e-nuff-f-f-er me.”

  In a million years or a million lifetimes, it would never be enough for him. But he couldn’t fly. He couldn’t magically produce a fire. All he could do was pray for help. Please, Universe. I’m begging. Do not let her die. Take me instead. He closed his eyes and tilted his face toward the heavens, praying for his voice to be heard, if not by the Universe, then by the gods. One of his brethren had to be in their realm right now. His brother K’ak or Akna, the Goddess of Fertility.

  No one replied.

  He released a gritty, bitter breath. What should he expect? It wasn’t as if he’d led an exemplary life worthy of favors from the Universe. Or anyone for that matter. But this wasn’t about him. It was about Tula, the first person to ever give him purpose in a way that was deeply personal. The rest was just work, his obligation.

  He looked at her sweet face with delicate features, tiny icicles forming on her golden lashes.

  Fuck. The light inside her was fading fast. She was dying. Fucking dying. How had he done this to her?

  His soul cracked in two. There were no words for the suffering coursing through him, but even now, he could only think of her.

  The waves calming, he stood in the rocky boat, with feet apart. He held out his hand.

  She glanced up at him with fear in her eyes. “Wha-what are you doing?”

  “Dance with me, Tula.” The only thing he wanted to do was see her smile. One last time. “I never should’ve taken you from the island. I’m a fool, a stupid asshole, and now I’m doing the only thing I can to make the last few moments of our time together mean something beyond your physical suffering.”

  “My feet are frozen,” she whimpered. “I can’t stand.”

  With tears in his eyes, Zac scooped her into his arms. “I will carry you, my love.” In my heart. Always.

  She buried her face in his neck. “I’m so cold, Zac.”

  “I know, my love.” He swayed his body. “Just listen to my heartbeat.” He tilted his head to the side, keeping his tears from her face as her heart slowed. After a few moments she drifted off to sleep, and he sat cradling her in his arms.

  An hour passed, and another. Then her heart stopped dead.

  Time stopped with it.

  Suddenly, his existence flashed before his eyes, and his soul bucked with rage. He couldn’t remember what it was like before her, and now there was no future. Not without her.

  “I’m so sorry, my love,” he whispered.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  With rage in her heart, Forgetty slowly sank to her knees in front of Távas, his harsh gaze of disapproval drilling down on her.

  “That’s right, goddess. Now beg,” he snarled.

  Her entire body—still naked—revolted, but she couldn’t not do this one simple act of setting aside her ego. Too many lives were at stake, and for that reason, she could still hold her chin high.

  “Please fuck me.”

  He scoffed with disdain.

  Wait. Why does he look pissed? She was doing just as he asked.

  It dawned on her that he was enjoying this act of humiliation and submission even less than she. And was it her imagination, or was his aura turning darker by the minute? In fact, when she’d met him, his aura had been blue—a little somber, but good. Now it was dark gray with swirls of blue.

  But why? What could cause him to give in to the poisons inside him?

  Knowing that the window was closing fast, not only for him, but for her as well, she focused her attention on the matters at hand.

  I have to try to make a connection with him. Otherwise, they’d both be lost. She could feel the malevolent energy invading her cells one by one, like a cancer.

  She reached for the fly of his black slacks, but he caught her hand. “Why are you allowing me to treat you like this?”

  “What does it matter?” she asked. “I’m begging like you asked. Now give me what I want.”

  “Don’t be so pathetic,” he growled. “Reject me, goddammit. Walk away. Tell me to go fuck myself.”

  She blinked up at him. He had purposely been trying to offend her? “First you take me in that room and chicken out at the last moment. Then you ask me to beg, so I do. Now you want me to leave. What is going on, Távas? What aren’t you telling me?”

  He marched into the bedroom, returning with her clothes in a crumpled wad. “Go. Now.”


  She got to her feet, and he shoved the pile at her chest.

  “Not until you come clean,” she said. “Why did you hire me? Why did you ask me out? And why are you now trying to push me away? Something is happening to you—I can see it.”

  “Why are you standing naked in front of me like some pathetic, weak whore?”

  “Whoa.” She resisted the urge to slap him or castrate him or hurt him in some way worthy of such an insult. “Nice try, but it won’t work, Távas. I’m not leaving until you tell me the truth.”

  “The truth is I thought I might like to bed you—you look like you might be a nice fuck. But in the short amount of time I’ve gotten to know you, the real you, I realize I could never want such a sad, lonely woman. Plus, you’re really skinny and in need of a tan. I like my women with meat and pigmentation.”

  Ouch. “And the note with flowers, saying sorry? What was that for?”

  “I never sent you any flowers.”

  “Liar.”

  He opened the door. “Out.”

  “Remember when I told you that I needed to find a mate? Well, it’s a matter of life or death for billions of people.”

  “And?”

  “You’re my best chance to prevent my soul from turning evil and wreaking havoc on every living being on this planet.”

  “Not my problem.” He pointed out the door.

  “Oh, yes. It is because…” Like a rubber band breaking, Forgetty felt every molecule in her soul snap. “Oh, shit.” She doubled over in pain, a burning sensation coursing through her veins.

  Távas stared down at her. “What is happening?”

  “Run, Távas. Take Louie and run…” She groaned out her words.

  He bent to help her up. “What is the matter with you?”

  “Fucking moron! Go! Get out of here.”

  “I am not leaving.”

  Now he wants to play nice? Now?

  But those thoughts of selflessness would be her last. The light and goodness inside extinguished with a sputter. And like a switch had been flipped, she felt her body let go of the need to do right. All she could think of was how to inflict the most possible pain on everyone and everything.