Cowboy in Wolf's Clothing

by Kait Ballenger

  Colt swore. Belle, on the other hand, didn’t so much as flinch.

  “I need scissors, a clean washcloth, thread, a needle, tweezers, and alcohol for sterilization, stat,” she ordered.

  When his men didn’t immediately pay attention to her, Colt snarled.

  “You heard the woman!” he barked.

  Everyone rushed to fulfill Belle’s requests as Colt lingered on the other side of the couch, allowing Belle enough room to tend to Austin.

  Austin’s eyes flickered open. “Colt,” he rasped. “They were everywhere. They… We didn’t get…” Austin reached for him.

  Colt clutched the other man’s hand in reassurance. “I know. It was my fault. I—” But there was something clutched inside the other man’s fist. Colt eased the item from Austin’s hand, holding it up. The USB drive.

  “Give that here,” Blaze demanded. He’d been standing at the edge of the room with his laptop clutched near his chest. “I may still be able to get something off it.” He tore the USB from Colt’s hands and immediately shoved the drive into his computer, cursing the entire way about only having needed two seconds longer.

  Colt shifted his attention back toward Belle and Austin as several of the soldiers returned with her supplies. Shoving a towel into his hand, she directed him with ease. “I need you to hold this. Put pressure on the wound to slow the bleeding.”

  He did as she instructed, aware that doctor or not, she was the only person in the world he not only welcomed but wanted to hear order him around like that. From her, he’d accept anything she was willing to give him, because she saw him, truly saw him. In the way he’d longed for when he’d been strapped to the vampires’ table. And yet…

  His gaze circled back to his bleeding packmate. “Will he be all right?” He thought he already knew the answer to that, but he needed to be certain.

  “Yes, he’ll be fine,” she reassured him. “Just keep that pressure steady, Colt.”

  Colt. Not Commander.

  In that moment, he swore to himself never to allow her to call him Commander again.

  Chapter 17

  Belle wrapped her jacket around herself as she eased out into the dim lighting of the porch. The pale-yellow glow of the overhead light cast the covered wooden wraparound in shadows, and several flies buzzed near the porch light. Save for the cold of the Montana spring nipping at her hands and feet, the rustic, country feel reminded her all too much of the low twangs and smooth talking of the South she’d once called home.

  Save for the virile and handsome cowboy leaning against the porch railing with his back to her.

  She drew her jacket tighter around herself to brace against the chill. With Austin cared for and stable, she’d put her bloodstained nightgown and robe in a bath of cold water in hopes of getting the blood out, and then she’d changed back into her clothes. The screen creaked shut behind her.

  “I expected you’d be asleep by now,” Colt drawled.

  It was only a few hours until sunrise, and she’d been making a habit of going to bed early the past few days. In part, it’d been because she wanted to rise and help with the ranch work in the morning hours when they needed the most hands, but it was also because she couldn’t bring herself to linger post-dinner when it was clear Colt had no desire to converse with her.

  “Most of the men are asleep,” she said, explaining her presence. “Blaze is the only one still awake. I heard him in there still swearing as I came out here.”

  Colt grumbled. “I suppose that means it’s my shift for the calving shed, then.” The cows had started dropping calves shortly after they arrived, and the number of delivering mothers increased with each passing day. As a result, the calving shed needed to be checked every two hours to ensure the deliveries were progressing and the calves being birthed maintained a stable condition. Oftentimes, a mother didn’t have the wherewithal post-birth to lick them clean as she should, stimulating their breathing and heart rate, or the mother on occasion was unwilling or unable to nurse.

  “Actually, it was Austin’s turn, but he’s obviously unable at the moment. Malcolm and Dean both volunteered, but they all looked so drained after the mission that I said I would do it.”

  “How’s Austin doing?” Colt asked.

  She smiled. “Same as the last time you asked. Stable. He’ll heal in a few days. Nothing a few stitches couldn’t take care of, though he’ll have one hell of a scar. That vamp really took a chunk out of him.”

  Colt nodded, turning to stare out into the darkness of the night again. “They favor you, you know. The soldiers. You’ve been kind to them.”

  “They’re more cowboys than soldiers, the way they behave.” She chuckled.

  She saw a hint of a smile tug at his lips. “You’re likely right, but they love you all the same.”

  “There’s only one cowboy’s love I’m interested in.” Her smile faltered. She’d been trying to get him alone all week, to tell him how sorry she was, to explain herself. But he didn’t appear interested.

  The muscles of his shoulders stiffened beneath the taut material of his suede jacket. He turned toward her, his gaze searing into her as if he were searching the depths of her soul. “You can’t possibly mean that, Belle.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, shielding herself. “I can, and I do.” She met his stare, holding a stiff upper lip even though everything in her made her want to cry, to sob with the weight of all the emotions she’d been holding in. She stepped toward him.

  “Belle,” he warned.

  “I’m sorry, Colt.” The words rushed forth as if she’d lifted the dam off a raging river. “I never meant to hurt you like that. I was shocked and hurting myself because I felt like you’d lied to me, but once you told me the truth, I realized how unfair I was being, and I—”

  Colt was shaking his head. “Save your apologies, Belle. I’d already forgiven you the moment it happened.”

  She gaped at him. But if he’d forgiven her, then why had he…? “I thought you were angry, so angry you didn’t want to speak to me. I was worried you’d never want to talk to me again.”

  “I can’t say I wasn’t hurt, but I couldn’t blame you for making the assumptions you did, especially not after the way I behaved when you showed up at Wolf Pack Run. Had I been in your position, I would have thought the same myself. And…” His voice trailed off as he tipped his Stetson off his head, running his fingers through his hair in that way that gave him the most delicious kind of bed head.

  He was so handsome. All kinds of perfect western charm.

  “Hell, how do I say this?” He swore under his breath before he finally looked at her. “Belle, I’ve already forgiven you for any wrong you’ll ever do me a thousand times over. How could I not?” There was a deep sadness in his eyes that made her breath catch. It was everything she’d hoped to hear in one single look.

  I want you. I care about you, and nothing’s going to change that.

  He didn’t need to say it aloud.

  “You saved me,” he said.

  She forced a laugh. “Colt, you’ve saved my life more times than I can count. You don’t still think you owe me for when I patched you up after that vampire—”

  “No.” He cut her off with the shake of his head. “That’s not what I mean.” He worried the brim of his Stetson in his hands, struggling to find the words. “When the vampires held me captive, it was the thought of the night we spent together that kept me going. And I…I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m grateful for that.”

  It was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard, so full of emotion, it made her heart ache. And she’d never been more relieved. Tears poured down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop them now.

  He placed his Stetson back on his head. “Sweetheart, don’t cry.” He stepped toward her, and that was all the invite she needed.

  She rushed to him, thro
wing herself into his arms without hesitation. She wrapped herself in him, burying her face in the hard muscles of his chest as she curled her arms around his middle. He was strong and warm, and he smelled like warm spices and the hard work of a male, and she could drown in it. A steady ache thrummed in her heart, radiating all the way down to the tightness in her womb.

  She wanted to tell him, but she had no idea how. She supposed the best place to start was with the truth.

  “Colt, I—” She let out another sob as he cradled her against him. “There are some things I need to tell you.”

  He rubbed slow, steady circles on her back that made her melt into him further. He was so gentle for a man she knew wielded so much power. “I already told you, Belle. You don’t need to apologize or explain—”

  “But I do,” she interjected. She eased away from his embrace. “There are things you need to know.” Inhaling a deep breath to draw strength, she gathered every bit of determination she held deep down inside her. She’d start with the easiest parts and move forward from there. “When we first met, I…I lied to you.”

  Colt tensed, but she continued.

  “You asked if I knew anything about the death of Wyatt Maxwell. You mentioned the Grey Wolves wanted to know who killed him. You asked me if I knew anything, and I…I lied.” Her hands clenched into fists as she struggled to speak the truth. “When I first joined the Wild Eight, Wyatt and I were dating. Things quickly went south, and when I tried to leave, I found out being with a monster like him meant I wasn’t allowed to walk free. We fought and fought, and eventually I managed to leave him—but I couldn’t escape the Wild Eight. There was another wolf, an older woman, Dalia. I mentioned her to you before, but there’s more to the story than I initially let on. I couldn’t abandon her to his ill use.”

  She inhaled a deep breath. “I thought I could protect her from him. He viewed her as a burden. Wyatt didn’t care for anyone who wasn’t a benefit to him, but I didn’t think he’d go so far as to hurt her. She would sometimes get confused come evening. She had sundown syndrome. It’s a symptom of dementia that gets worse as the day winds down into evening, causing nighttime confusion. He gave her some pills, and then I found her…” Her lip quivered. “I confronted him, and you know Wyatt. He wasn’t about to take any lip from a woman. He came after me. I was certain he would kill me. He had me on the floor. He was hitting me senseless. I was scared he would kill me, but I managed to get ahold of his gun, and I…”

  “I should have told you,” she breathed, “but I was scared, and I…” She forced herself to meet his gaze. “That’s why I reacted so strongly when I found out you were Wild Eight. I should have known better than to lump you among their numbers after you saved me and after we…”

  After we made love.

  It was no tryst. To either of them. She knew that much.

  Tears filled her eyes. She knew he couldn’t possibly understand what she was crying about, but at the sight of her tears, something in Colt’s hardened, cold features softened.

  As if he cared. About her. A Rogue. A prisoner. A fugitive.

  As if she wasn’t all the nasty labels that life’s unfortunate circumstances had stuck her with, but instead, a woman who desperately needed help. Not that he knew all those things about her, but that somehow failed to matter.

  Before she knew what was going on, he pulled her into his arms again. His warmth wrapped around her, as if he could shield her from the outside world.

  “I won’t hurt you, Belle, and I won’t tell a soul. You’re safe with me.”

  His words shocked her, but she heard the sincerity there.

  “Why?” she sobbed into his chest. “Why would you bother to help me? All this time, I haven’t been truthful, and I…” Another sob raked her.

  “That bastard deserved to die more than most.” Colt’s tone held a hint of violence, as if he regretted he hadn’t been able to do the honors himself. “I tried to kill him myself a few times,” he admitted, “and you may be full of sass, Belle, but if a gentle woman like you resorted to doing what you did, I have no doubt he deserved it. Any man who lays a hand to a woman does.” He hesitated, and even though she couldn’t see his features from where she’d buried her head into his chest, she heard the pain and vulnerability in his words as clear as day. “And no one deserves to live their life in fear that others will find out who they really are.”

  He reached down and, with a gentle hand, tilted her chin until she met his gaze. Her breath caught.

  “Why are you scared, beauty?” he whispered.

  That single question undid her. No one had ever bothered to ask her that single all-important question: Why?

  Why she was so afraid? Why she was running? Why had she killed Wyatt?

  No one ever dared ask her why.

  Until this dark, mysterious cowboy. A wolf who had saved her life countless times, as if it were something worth saving.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but his eyes flashed to his wolf’s. Something predatory and feral glimmered in their depths. She would have told him everything then, confessed it all.

  She’d been in want of a pack. The mountains of Montana had called to her, offering her a home in her wolf’s native lands, but when she’d arrived in Billings, she’d been so desperate for the acceptance from her fellow wolves, a privilege she’d never known, that she’d fallen into the wrong hands. Wyatt had been kind to her at first, welcoming her into the Wild Eight with open arms. She’d served as their physician. But as time passed and she’d realized the nefarious dark nature of the Wild Eight wolves, she’d tried to leave.

  But she couldn’t. Wyatt wouldn’t let her.

  For years, he’d controlled her in a way that she was ashamed to admit, because she should have been stronger, but she wasn’t. She hadn’t been strong until the night she’d confronted him, until she’d defended herself and Dalia.

  She couldn’t have known that a mere week later, the majority of the Wild Eight would be wiped out in a battle with the Grey Wolves, only a handful of surviving members being taken captive and even less, herself included, remaining at large. She also couldn’t have known that her reputation as their physician, as a key member of their pack, despite being forced to stay with them under threat of her life, would follow her all the way to the Missoula ranch where she ran for refuge, where they had heard of her crimes and made their accusations.

  Traitor.

  Murderer.

  She hadn’t thought of it that way until they’d said it. If you asked her, the act was self-defense, her one last chance at escaping Wyatt’s clutches.

  In that moment, she would have told Colt Cavanaugh, high commander of the Grey Wolf armies, all this.

  If he hadn’t chosen that exact moment to capture the nape of her neck in his hands and kiss her. He’d kissed her before, but this was different. This kiss was filled with everything between them that had previously been restrained. The fullness of their emotion, their desire, their need. It was a kiss that didn’t shy away from the truth, that offered full acceptance, even when they were both at their most vulnerable.

  As their tongues mingled and he gained entry into her mouth, she melted into him, her body seeming to mold into his. They kissed so long and deeply that she felt as if they were there for hours, him holding her against him as they explored each other.

  When he finally released her, she rested her head against his chest, reveling in the warmth of his arms.

  “I know I said there shouldn’t be anything between us, but I…” He fell quiet, leaving the words unspoken, but she knew.

  She shook her head. “I understand now.”

  He wanted her, far beyond a one-night stand. She knew that now, but she also understood why they couldn’t be together, how being with her would force him to give up his pack unless he wanted the truth exposed, yet she still had hope…

  Butterflie
s stirred in her belly. A reminder of what was at stake.

  “There’s something else I need to tell you,” she whispered. Now was the right time, even though she was terrified of his reaction. She feared he might push her away, but she knew it was a risk she had to take. She’d always felt it was right to tell him. So much had gotten in the way of that.

  He chuckled low and deep as he nuzzled the bristle of his beard across the top of her head. “After that revelation and the hell of a night we’ve had, I think I’ve had about all the truth I can stomach for now. Can it hold till morning?”

  She didn’t want it to, but she supposed she could wait one more day. She didn’t want to shock his nerves for the night any more than necessary, even though she had a feeling Colt was made of far tougher stuff than even a rough night like this. “Only if you promise that I won’t have to wait longer than that. I should have told you long before.”

  “Morning,” he agreed. “I promise.”

  Easing away from her, he leaned against the porch, adjusting his now-skewed Stetson. She’d nearly knocked it off his head as she’d thrown her arms around his neck when his lips met hers.

  A beat of silence passed between them, the air fraught with tension.

  “You go on to bed,” he urged. “I’ll take care of the calves. You did a fair amount of work already on Austin. Get some sleep.”

  “After a kiss like that, I don’t think I could sleep, even if I tried.”

  That wry grin crossed his lips as if he was thinking of more that would keep her awake. “Well, in any case, someone has to go out and check the shed, and after that attack at Wolf Pack Run, I don’t like the idea of you out in the pasture alone in the middle of the night.”

  Thirty minutes later (even though it was no more than a six-minute ride), they’d managed to wrangle Black Jack into submission after several bouts of bucking and snapping every time they tried to place a boot in one of the stirrups on his back. Belle had suggested they just bite the bullet and walk, but Colt had been intent on mastering the ornery beast.