Insistent

by Kaylee Ryan

She’s driving me fucking wild. Looking around at the crowd, I know we can’t do this here. Not with her. She’s better than that. I’ve been recognized several times today. Thankfully, it’s been calm, a few autographs, but this… I don’t want her on the front of some dirty tabloid. I need to find a spot and find it now. “Come with me,” I whisper. I make sure I have a tight grip on her hand and guide her through the crowd. Looking at my watch, I know the band will be on stage for at least another hour. Time to cash in on that backstage offer.

  I lead us to the security gate, and the guy recognizes me automatically. “Gavin McIntosh, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He holds out his hand for me to shake.

  “You too,” I reply, not bothering to get his name. It doesn’t matter. All that matters in this moment is him leading me backstage to a private room.

  “We’re trying to get away from the madness for a while. You think there’s a room back there we can chill in until the set is over?”

  “Yeah, man. We have one all set up for the meeting after. Follow me,” he says. He calls over another guard. They share a few words and then we’re walking. He stops outside of a trailer and pulls keys from his pocket. “This is all set up for later. Help yourselves to drinks and food. The band will be here after their set.”

  “Thanks.” I hold my hand out for him and we shake. Breaking away, I lead Cass into the trailer, shutting the door and locking it behind us. “Come here,” I say into the darkness. I don’t bother turning on the lights. I don’t want anyone to see into the windows and if the lights stay off, they don’t know we’re in here. More privacy.

  Cassidy steps into me and places her hand on the waistband of my jeans. I stand still, letting her take the lead. She doesn’t make me wait long when I feel her unbutton my jeans and slide the zipper down.

  “Baby, are you sure about this?” I ask her. She doesn’t answer me, not with words. She does reach under the waistband of my boxer briefs and palm my cock though. That’s answer enough. My hands are on her in an instant. I have her shorts unbuttoned and slid past her hips in no time. She kicks them to the side. I follow her lead and slide my hand inside her silk panties. “So wet.” I breathe the words against her neck. “Fuck, Cass.” Running my fingers through her folds, she shudders, and her grip on my cock strengthens.

  I suck on her neck, not giving a fuck if I mark her. I want every-fucking-one to know she’s mine. My fingers are coated with her, but it’s not enough. I want more. Carefully, I slide one finger inside and she moans.

  “Talk to me, Cass.”

  “More,” she breathes.

  Pulling out, I slowly add another. Leisurely, I pump my fingers in and out of her, as if I have all the time in the world. However, my heart is thundering, and with her soft hand wrapped around my cock, I feel like I could lose my shit at any second.

  Sliding my hand around the back of her neck, I pull her into a kiss. Her hands pump faster, matching the rhythm of my fingers that are nestled inside of her. In and out, up and down, we chase our release. Her walls tighten around my fingers, and I know she’s close. “Give it to me,” I say against her lips. “I want to feel you fall apart.” She makes a sound that comes from deep in the back of her throat. Her hand tightens on my shaft, while the other lets go and grabs my arm, her nails digging into the skin.

  “Gavin.” She moans my name as she coats my hand. I close my eyes and let go, spilling into hers. I’m breathing like I just ran a fucking marathon; my body feels as though it did. My legs are like wet noodles, but I’m the most relaxed I’ve felt in months. Lifting her into my arms, she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist, and I carry her to one of the chairs. Sitting with her in my lap, wrapped around me. Her pussy and all its wetness from her releases press against my cock.

  Spotting a pile of napkins in the soft glow of light through the windows, I reach for them and hand a few to her. “For your hands,” I murmur.

  Lifting her head from my shoulder, she takes the offered napkins and cleans off her hands the best she can. When her eyes catch mine, I place my fingers in my mouth and taste her for the first time. Her eyes heat as she watches my tongue trace over both digits. Pulling my fingers from my mouth, I take my napkins and clean her up as best as I can.

  “What was that?” she asks softly.

  “That, sweetheart, was months of wanting each other and denying what we know is right. That’s you and me, Cass. We’re right.” I lift her palm to my lips and place a soft kiss in the center. Outside the crowd roars, reminding us where we are. “As bad as I hate to say this, we need to get dressed.” I kiss her one more time before she climbs off my lap to find her clothes.

  As I’m sliding my jeans back up my thighs, I can’t help but hope this is going to be the beginning of us.

  We’re barely dressed and have the lights turned on when we hear a commotion outside the trailer door. Gavin takes a seat at the table, the same one we were both just sitting on. He pulls the chair beside him out and motions for me to sit. As soon as my ass hits the cheap vinyl, the door swings open. The members of Shattered Heart come barreling in, still on a high from their show.

  I brush my fingers through my hair, making sure it’s all back in place. My heart is still beating double time from the adrenaline of my orgasm and the fact that any longer and we could have been caught.

  “Gavin McIntosh, I’m a huge fan. Name’s Brian, lead vocals.” He offers Gavin his hand.

  Gavin shakes his hand, then those of the three other band members as they introduce themselves and tell him how big of a fan they are of Soul Serenade.

  “And who’s this?” Brian asks, giving me a skeevy smile.

  Seriously, it’s creepy as hell. I lift my hand to introduce myself when Gavin puts his arm around me.

  “She’s mine.”

  Brian raises his hand in an “I’m backing off” motion, and the four of them take seats across the table from us. They begin to talk about tonight’s set, and I know I should be paying attention, but all I can hear is Gavin and those two words, “She’s mine.” I wish more than anything that was true. We took things too far tonight. I let it happen. I know that. It’s on me. He never would have gone that far had he not had my permission. Hell, I practically threw myself at him.

  Shaking out of my thoughts, I try to focus on the conversation going on around me. It’s hard with the feel of his hands all over me, and currently, his arm is thrown over my shoulders, and his fingers are lazily tracing invisible patterns. I should be able to handle it, but after what we just shared, my senses are on high alert.

  “We were impressed,” Gavin says, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “How long have you all been together?” He asks questions and interacts as if he hasn’t a care in the world. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe our tryst didn’t rock his world like it did mine. Maybe he’s changed his mind after all.

  I jump when I feel his hot breath against my ear. “I can still feel you,” he whispers, and I have to bite down on my cheek to keep from moaning. He moves his arm from my shoulders to rest on my bare thigh.

  “What does your schedule look like the rest of the summer? I’d like to have you come back to Nashville and perform for the guys.”

  “Fuck yes!” Brian cheers.

  Shattered Heart on stage has a great presence. Their sound’s unique and their material is their own. All good points for the label. However, they need a little… refining. Some people skills. I would like to think they would attempt a little more professionalism considering who we are and why we’re here. Then again, they’re young, cocky rock stars on the verge of potentially signing a major deal with the number one rock band in the country’s new label. All things considered, “fuck yes” is a pretty good response.

  “You should hang out, drink a few,” Eric, the lead guitarist, offers.

  “Thank you, but we’ve been here all day. I think we’re just going to head back to the hotel. We’ll be in touch once we get back to the office next week to confirm details of your visit.”r />
  “You sure? We’d love to party with you,” Brian says, never taking his eyes off me.

  “We’re sure,” Gavin grits out, his voice hard. He stands and holds out his hand for me. I take it and stand as well. My legs are wobbly, but his arm around my waist holds me steady. Gavin walks toward the door of the trailer, then turns to face the guys.

  “Your sound is good, your material better. I think Soul Records can take you to the next level.” He stops as the guys smile and nod. “However, I would advise you to keep your eyes and your thoughts about my girl hidden. In fact, don’t think about her at all. When you visit the label, the other wives will be there as well. I advise you to take this piece of advice to heart with all four of them.” They spit and splutter, offering apologies, when really it was just Brian who made me feel uncomfortable. Gavin doesn’t seem to want to hear it as he opens the door and leaves them and their apologies behind in the trailer.

  “Ready to head to the hotel?” he asks.

  “Yeah, it’s been a long day.”

  He nods. Leaning in, he kisses my temple. “Yeah, it’s been a long day, but one I’ll never forget.” His arm’s already around my waist, so I do the same, wanting to hold on to him just a little longer. I’m exhausted, and my mind is racing a million miles a minute, but I’m not ready for this day to end. I’m not ready to go back to keeping him at arm’s length. When we reach the gate, I rest against his chest as he pulls up his Uber app and orders us a car.

  Gavin slides his phone back in his pocket and wraps both arms around me, holding me tight. “Let me say this,” he says, his voice low and next to my ear. Controlled. I keep my head buried in his chest. “I want you, Cassidy. I want you with a need so deep, I don’t ever see it going away. I’ve enjoyed every minute of today. To have you fall apart in my arms….” He swallows thickly. “I want you to be mine, Cass. For tonight, for tomorrow, for always.”

  Tears well in my eyes. I want it. Everything he just said, I want it, too. There’s just too much at stake. It sounds like an excuse even to me, but all I have to do is think about Mom, to think about those shoes that are hidden away in the back of my closet. Mom made the sacrifice and so will I.

  When the car shows up, Gavin opens the back door, allowing me to climb in first. He rattles off the information for our hotel and wraps his arm around me. I don’t hesitate to snuggle into his chest. We have two more days before we leave town. I can’t help but wonder how things are going to be in the light of day? After today, how can we go back to how we used to be?

  The drive back to the hotel is short, and as we exit the car, I feel the tears start to build. Our day is over. Never again will I feel his hands roam over my body or the feel of his lips pressed against mine. It’s tearing me up inside because even though I can’t have him, he’s all I want.

  This time when we step into the elevator, there are several people who pile in with us. Gavin stands tall and strong behind me, holding me close to him. I don’t know what will happen when we get to our room or how we handle this. My palms are sweating and my emotions are all over the place.

  By the time the elevator doors open on our floor, it’s just us. Hand on my hips, Gavin guides me out and to our suite. I remove the keycard from my purse and slide it into the lock. Slowly, I turn the handle and push the door open. Gavin, with his hands still on my hips, follows me. When the door closes, I wince. Hot tears behind my eyes threaten to fall. I don’t want this day to end. I close my eyes to keep him from seeing everything that I’m feeling.

  When his lips land on my neck, I swallow back my emotions. Tilting my head to the side, I give him better access. His lips are heaven, so much so a small moan falls from my lips.

  With slight pressure on my hips, he turns me to face him. Leaving one hand around my waist, the other tucks an errant curl behind my ear. “So, beautiful,” he whispers, and I offer him a shy smile, slowly opening my eyes. He’s watching me. His blue eyes are intense as they show his need for me in this moment.

  He leans in, watching me closely, waiting for me to stop him. I won’t. Not tonight. A little further and his mouth is closing in on mine. I help him out by wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, running my fingers through his hair. And then I pull him the rest of the way to me.

  He nips at my lips, then traces them with his tongue, soothing the pain. Needing more of him, more of everything, I slide my tongue past his lips, taking control of the kiss. He lets out a guttural moan. His hands fall to my ass and he lifts me. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist. Then we’re moving. In a few long strides, Gavin has my back pressed against the wall.

  It was silly of me to think I would be in control. Gavin takes charge, his tongue caressing mine while his hands knead my ass cheeks. I tighten my legs around his waist, pressing my core against his erection.

  “You want my cock?” he asks, breathless against my neck.

  “Mmmm.” I can’t seem to form words with his hands and mouth on me.

  “I need your words, Cass,” he says, trailing kisses along my neck. “I need to hear you say it, baby,” he whispers in my ear.

  “Y-yes,” I manage to say, tilting my head back to rest against the wall.

  “How drunk are you?”

  I shake my head. “Not.”

  “Look at me,” he insists. “Tell me. Let me see your eyes.” My gaze connects with his. “You want this?”

  “I want you. I’m buzzed but not enough to not know what I’m saying.” Untangling my hands from his hair, I cup his face in my hands. “I want you and your cock.” I grin.

  He kisses me hard before stepping away from the wall and moving us, me still in his arms, still wrapped tightly around him. He heads toward his room.

  Once inside, he kisses me one more time before I unwrap my legs from around his waist as he sets me back on my feet. “Arms up,” he says, reaching for the hem of my shirt. I do as he asks, and he lifts my shirt over my head, dropping it to the floor. I reach for his but don’t have to ask as he follows my lead and lifts his arms in the air, already knowing what I want. Dropping his shirt to the floor with mine, I make quick work of sliding my shorts down my legs, kicking them to the side.

  “Fuck me, you’re gorgeous.” He reaches out and traces the swell of my breasts secured in my black lace bra with the tip of his index finger.

  “You’re wearing too many clothes, Gav,” I whisper, reaching for the button on his jeans.

  Without saying a word, he strips out of his jeans and boxer briefs at the same time, letting them pool at his feet. Bending over, he digs in his pocket for a condom. When he stands up to his full height, he has it between his fingers and is wearing a sly grin. “Now who’s wearing too many clothes?” He leans over and trails his lips up my stomach.

  “What are you going to do about it?” I ask more boldly. I’ve never been this outspoken during sex. There’s just something about Gavin that makes me feel like I can be brave, be me.

  His lips move to the waistband of my silk panties. With his teeth, he tugs them away from my skin. “These need to go,” he says, and I lift my hips helping him. With deft fingers, my panties are discarded. “Sit up,” he instructs, and I do, resting my hands on his bare shoulders. His lips mold with mine in a slow, sensual kiss, while his fingers unclasp my bra. Breaking away from our kiss, he slides the straps down each shoulder before tossing it over his shoulder. “Never thought I’d get the chance to see you like this,” he confesses.

  “You thought about it?” I ask him, despite already knowing the answer. I’m nervous and chatty, and truth be told, I want the answer reaffirmed. I want to know if he’s put as much mental effort into what we could be as I have.

  “Every fucking day since the day I met you,” he assures me. “I don’t know where to start first.”

  Reaching out, I wrap my hands around his length. “I say we start with this.”

  “So bold,” he whispers. “Tell me what you want.”

  “This,” I stroke him, “ins
ide of me.”

  “Slide back.” He motions for me to slide back on the bed. He’s peering down at me with so much heat and… affection in his gaze. I can’t look away. Instead, I do as he asks and scoot back, resting my head on the pillow. Gavin follows after me, resting back on his knees between my legs. “I’ll give you what you want, but I need you to know that before this night is through, my lips will have touched every inch of your skin. My tongue will know the curves of your body, and my hands will be branded with your touch.”

  “Please,” I beg. I want that. All of it. Everything he said and more. I want all of it and I want it now. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I’m crossing the line that’s going to be impossible to step back over, but in this moment, with him stroking his hard cock and looming over me, I can’t seem to find it in me to care. I’ll deal with the fallout when it comes. Right now, he’s all I can see. He’s all I need.

  I don’t take my eyes off him as he rolls the condom down his hard length. He strokes himself leisurely, teasing me. “Say it again, Cassidy. Tell me this is what you want.”

  “This is what I want,” I repeat the words.

  As if I’m watching him in slow motion, he moves forward, resting his elbows on either side of my head. “Hey.” He smiles and kisses my lips quickly. I open for him, and greedily suck on his tongue. It’s then that he slides inside me. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he says against my lips as he slowly pushes inside one torturously slow inch at a time.

  I wrap my legs around his waist and lock my feet at his back, using pressure to pull him into me. “Faster,” I plead, closing my eyes and letting the feeling of him inside me take over.

  “I can’t,” he grits out. “I can’t go faster, Cass.” I open my eyes to see him staring down at me. “I don’t know when I’m going to be here again, inside of you.” Resting his weight on one arm, the free hand cups my cheek. “I want to feel it all, memorize it all.”

  “We can do it again,” I say, trying to get my way, even though the truth of his words hurt my heart. I think he sees right through me.