Insistent

by Kaylee Ryan

  “No.”

  “You know it’s not for me. I’ve wanted you for longer than I can remember. Life is too short. You of all people know that. I don’t want to waste one fucking minute of my time with you holding out because society might look at it as too soon. I know what I feel. I know who my heart beats for. I want it all, baby. As soon as I can get you on board, I want it all.”

  “Gavin, I—” She closes her mouth when I place my fingers to her lips.

  “I’ll get you there,” I say, leaning in and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Now, get to work, woman. Stop harassing the boss.” I wink at her, turn, and stroll out of her office.

  Despite being prepared with my laptop and all of my notes in hand, I’m nervous as I sit at my desk and watch the clock. Five more minutes. Five minutes until my first meeting since Gavin and I became official. The guys are great, and good with us dating—they’ve all told me so last week when they stopped by—but I’m still nervous. My palms are sweating, and I can’t stop my knees from bouncing up and down. Watching the clock is making it worse, but I can’t seem to stop. I don’t want to be too early, or late. I don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard, but then I don’t want to seem like I’m slacking on my job now that Gavin and I are an item.

  Four minutes.

  No longer able to take it, I stand, take a deep breath, and walk down the hall to the conference room. It’s empty, and I heave a sigh of relief. I take my usual seat at the back of the table and open my laptop. It’s not that we have assigned seating, but it just works out that way. The guys usually sit at the head of the table, and I sit near the back. Taking notes and chiming in when needed.

  “Morning.” Cole strolls in with a smile on his face. His long hair is pulled back in his signature man bun.

  “Good morning,” I say, just as I always do. So far so good. Kacen and Tristan arrive next, all of them taking their usual seats. We share smiles and good morning greetings as well. It’s not until Gavin comes waltzing in that my anxiety reaches a high note. Gavin never does what I expect. Instead of taking his seat, he moves down the table and pulls the chair out next to mine. “What are you doing?” I hiss at him.

  He gives me a look that tells me I know damn well what he’s doing. I chance a look at the other end of the table out of the corner of my eye, and the guys are grinning like fools.

  “I like this new development,” Cole says, pointing to Gavin and me.

  “Me, too.” Gavin throws his arm over my shoulder.

  “Okay, look.” I roll my chair away from his, and his arm falls from my shoulder. “When we’re here, I’m Cassidy, your employee. I don’t want special treatment, or perks because Gavin and I are—” I stop when Gavin speaks up.

  “You’re mine,” he says, the words almost sounding like a growl. “You’ve been with us for years. Nothing is going to change, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go all fucking day without touching you or kissing you. It’s not going to happen, Cass,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Ga—” I’m interrupted again, this time by Kacen.

  “He’s right, you know. Logan and I went through something similar, and you can’t fight it. This is our company, Cassidy. We say what goes here and we’re fine with it.” He looks over at Cole and Tristan who are already nodding. “Besides, it’s not like this is a fling. That shit would not fly, but when it’s the real deal, that changes things. We’ve discussed this, the four of us. Your job is safe here, your career is not in jeopardy, no matter the outcome of your relationship with Gavin.”

  “You mean the one where she moves in and we make babies?” Gavin asks, smirking.

  I drop my head to the table and groan, causing the four of them to crack up laughing. “Is this happening?” I mumble.

  I feel his hot breath against my neck, then the touch of his lips against my skin before he whispers, “Yes. Get used to it. Things are just going to get better from here.”

  “You’ve got catching up to do,” Cole goads him.

  “Right?” Tristan agrees. “Kace and I are working on number two.”

  “See, babe, we’ve got to catch up,” Gavin says. I can tell by the tone of his voice he’s serious. He’s not just joking around with the guys.

  “Can we just get back to the meeting?” I ask.

  “Sure we can, when you scoot your cute ass back over here.” Gavin reaches out and grabs the armrest of my chair and pulls me next to him. “You may proceed,” he says, dropping his arm back over my shoulder.

  I sigh, knowing I’ve lost the battle. It’s just something I’m going to have to get used to. “Did you have a chance to look at the video presentation I sent you?” I ask the guys.

  “Yes,” they all say at the same time.

  “We liked them.” I turn to look at Gavin. “The crowd loved them. They seem to have a good local following that extends to the surrounding cities of St. Louis.”

  “I say we bring them here,” Kacen suggests. “Let’s get them in the studio, see how easy they are to work with and then we can go from there.”

  “Agreed,” Cole chimes in. “We can be choosy, and I choose to not work with asshats. The kids and the girls will be here a lot. I only want to sign bands we trust. I don’t care how big they are or how far their following reaches.”

  Tristan reaches across the table and holds his fist out for Cole to bump. “I think we can all agree to that,” Kacen adds.

  “Great, so I’ll reach out to them and set it up. You think three days?” I ask the group. “Gavin told them we would be in touch already.”

  “Yeah,” they all agree.

  “Okay. There was only one other band that really stood out while we were there. I sent those clips to you as well.”

  “They had a good sound,” Gavin tells them. “Rough around the edges. They would need some work, but that’s what we want, right? Bands we can help pave the way for in the industry?”

  “Yeah,” Kacen agrees, then addresses me. “Cassidy, I’m not sure how much you know about why we bought the label. Some of it was a fuck you to Jones, the other part was so we could slow down. With the wives and kids, touring can be a little much and we’d rather be with our families.”

  “Yes.” I bob my head, already knowing that’s why they bought the label.

  “We also decided we would be choosy, as Cole said. None of us need the money. We’ve all invested well. This is to keep up in the industry. Music is in our blood. None of us were ready to give it up completely,” Gavin explains. “Who knows, we might tour again, or put out an album without a tour and see what happens. What we do know is that it’s time to focus on our families.” He winks at me, and even though I try to act as though I’m annoyed, my heart flips over in my chest.

  “Right. Okay, I’ll go start the process, and I’ll send you all an e-mail letting you know when I have everything set up. Anything else?” I ask, closing my laptop and standing.

  “That’s perfect. Thank you, Cassidy,” Kacen says. Tristan and Cole murmur their thanks as well. I step back from the table, grabbing my things and heading to my office. As soon as I step out of the room, Cole starts talking about his new baby boy and how he has to show them pictures from this morning. I wear a grin all the way to my office. No one on the outside would ever believe me that these four badass rockers are really just big old tattooed teddy bears.

  All day long I’ve had to keep reminding myself to not bother her, that she’s busy. Cass takes her work seriously, and I know a sure-fire way to piss her off is to bother her when she’s trying to get shit done. I speak from experience. In the past, I would stop in for mundane reasons just for an excuse to talk to her. I could tell the times she was irritated. Instead of walking away, I would tell her how beautiful she was when she was flustered. That led to her telling me that we were boss-employee and that I couldn’t say things like that. I never listened. She didn’t see what I saw. She didn’t see the ways her eyes would light up when I waltzed into her office and took
the seat across from her desk. She didn’t see the hope in her eyes after every little speech, that hope told me she was saying what she thought she needed to say. She was saying what seemed appropriate, but that’s not how she felt. My only regret with Cass is that I didn’t think of the trip, for just the two of us sooner. I owe my boys and their wives props for that one. They helped us get to where we are today.

  Her being mine.

  The guys left a couple of hours ago. I could have as well, but I never do. I always stay until she does if I can. Today though, today is altogether different. When she ends her day, and she’s ready to go home, it’s my home she’s coming to. That means I’ll sit here as long as it takes for her to feel like she has a handle on her office after being off all last week. I offered to help her, but she waved me off, begging me to let her work. So, that’s what I did. I’ve been sitting here watching YouTube videos of Shattered Heart to familiarize myself with their work. It’s overkill for our meeting, but it’s good to watch them and get a feel for their stage presence. Sure, I’ve seen them live, but Cass was there in my arms, and she was more important. It was a bullshit trip anyway. We knew we were interested. They created this need to go to the festival to get us alone. I’ll need to step up my game come Christmas time to repay them.

  “Hey,” Cass says from behind me.

  I turn to face her. “Hey, yourself. You all done? Ready to go home?”

  “Yes. I think I’ve got a handle on things. I’m caught up on returning phone calls, and most of my e-mails. I can do the rest tomorrow.”

  “You kicked ass and took names today.” I stand and pull her into my arms.

  She chuckles. “I guess so. I don’t like to have to do that, but I hate them thinking that the label or you all are not responding to them.”

  “Logan fielded some calls last week,” I remind her.

  “I know she did, and I appreciate that, but that’s not her job.”

  That makes me laugh. “Yeah, it kind of is. She and Stacy share that position. You are Soul Records not Soul Serenade.”

  “I know that, but they have the kids, and normally it’s not an issue. Things are slow around here. The interns are motivated and do great work with the fan club. I just have to oversee it. I don’t mind giving them more time with the kids.”

  “That works for now, but you’re going to want that time too,” I tell her.

  Her eyes go wide and then soften. “Gavin, that’s way off.”

  “Is it?” I ask, nuzzling her neck.

  “I’m hungry,” she declares, changing the subject. She also knows that there is nothing I won’t give her.

  “Let’s get you home and get you fed.” By home, I mean, my place, but she knows that. I had her pack enough clothes to last her a few days for both work and leisure. Last night she tried to go home, but I begged her not to. Yeah, begged. I’m not above that to have her in my bed every night. Instead, I drove her to her place to grab more of her stuff. I cleared her some drawers and half the closet is hers for the taking. Her stuff looks good mingled with mine.

  “What are you thinking for dinner?” she asks as we pull up to my condo.

  “I make this cheeseburger potato casserole thing. It’s good,” I tell her.

  “Sounds interesting.”

  “Trust me, it’s delicious.”

  She laughs, and the sound washes over me. I love it. Live for it. “Come on.” I grab the keys from the ignition and climb out of my truck. Cass meets me in the front, her purse and work bag thrown over her shoulder. I take them from her, even though she protests, and reach for her hand. Cassidy takes care of everyone else, worries about all of us, her mom, but no one has taken care of her. I’ve tried to do it from afar, but I’m no longer at arm’s length. She’s going to have to get used to the fact that looking out for her is my job now. One that I take very seriously.

  “Let me change and I’ll help you cook.”

  “Sounds good, babe.” I kiss her temple and take her bags into the living room and place them next to the couch. I know my girl and no way can she go all night without checking and responding to some e-mails. Then I head down the hall to my room to change clothes as well. I walk in just in time to see her pull a faded concert shirt over her head. “Damn, I’m too late,” I say, grabbing some gym shorts out of my drawer.

  “No funny business, Mr. McIntosh. I’m starving.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I salute her, then make quick work of shedding my jeans and sliding into my shorts. “Ready?” I hold my hand out for her. Her face softens, and I know it’s because she secretly loves the way I always want her around. It’s a damn good thing I don’t see that changing. Ever.

  “So how do we make this cheeseburger deliciousness you’re talking about?” she asks.

  “We need to peel some potatoes and boil them and brown a pound of hamburger. Which would you prefer, my lady?” I ask her, all proper and shit, making her laugh.

  “I can do either. Whichever you prefer not to do.”

  “How are you at peeling potatoes?”

  “Why, I’m the master of course,” she teases.

  I snake an arm around her waist and kiss her quickly. “I can do it, but I suck balls at it. You peel the taters and I’ll work on everything else.”

  “Taters?” She laughs. “Your southern is showing through, Mr. Rock Star.”

  I flash her a grin. I’m proud of my country roots. Just because we sing rock music doesn’t mean I’m not still a country boy at heart. Hell, I love country music. It’s just not our sound, not what we wanted to do.

  We spend the next thirty minutes talking, laughing, and cooking. It’s domestic as hell and I love every fucking minute of it. She was here last week, but we spent most of our time with her mom, even though she didn’t know us. Cass wanted to be there, so that’s where we were. We did takeout or just quick sandwiches here at my place. This is the first true meal we’ve made together. I’m thirty minutes in, and I know this is what I want for the rest of my life.

  “Now what do we do?” she asks, watching me drain the water from the potatoes.

  “Now, we add these to that casserole dish.” I pour them in and place the strainer in the sink. “Then we add the hamburger, some Velveeta cheese, some salt and pepper, a little milk, and bake it just long enough for the cheese to get nice and gooey.”

  “Who came up with this?” she asks, watching me finish our dinner.

  I shrug. “Not sure. My mom used to make it when I was a kid. Not sure if she made it up or if it’s some ancient McIntosh masterpiece. What I do know is that it’s damn good. We eat it with bread and butter and applesauce. Well, my dad used to eat it with cottage cheese instead, but fuck that. I cannot eat cottage cheese.”

  She places her hand over her chest and gasps. “Gavin, that’s a deal breaker for me. I love cottage cheese,” she says, trying to fight her smile.

  She’s fucking with me. “Baby, I’ll buy you all the damn cottage cheese you can eat.”

  She cracks up laughing. “I hate it.” She grimaces. “I can’t get past the look. I’ve actually never tried it, but I don’t plan on ever trying it either.” She shudders as if it physically makes her sick at the thought.

  “Never say never,” I say, sliding the casserole into the oven. I turn to where she’s leaning against the counter and cage her in, my arms braced on the counter. “What happens when you’re pregnant, and you crave it?” I ask, kissing her neck.

  “Won’t happen,” she assures me.

  “That’s what Stacy said about avocados, and she ate the shit out of them while she was pregnant. Cole said he had to make sure they had them in the fridge at all times.”

  “That’s another thing that’s hard to get used to. The four of you gossip and yack like a bunch of women. What would your fan girls think if they heard you all talking about pregnancy cravings?” she asks.

  “Don’t give a fuck, and chances are they’ll never hear it. We keep our family lives personal. Sure, they know we’re mar
ried, have kids, or what not, but the details are private. Well, except for Cole and Stacy. He brought her up on stage.”

  “I remember that.” She laughs.

  “Is that what you want? For me to publicly tell the world how much I love you?”

  “No,” she says quickly. “I just want you.” Her voice is soft.

  “So, you’re going to move in then?” I ask her.

  “Gavin,” she sighs.

  “Cassidy,” I mock her. “Don’t think about society, or what you think is the right amount of time. Think about us, how long we’ve been dancing around this. Think about what’s going to make your heart happy. Now—” I kiss the corner of her mouth. “—tell me what you want to say.”

  “Yes,” she breathes.

  I can’t help it. I’m grinning like a fucking loon. “That’s all that matters, Cassidy, is being happy. Life is short, baby. I want to spend it with you. I want all of it. The marriage, the house, the babies, the dog you’ve always wanted, it’s our future. I’ll see to it.”

  “Why are you so insistent that we do this now, this fast?” Her eyebrows furrow as if she’s trying to work out a puzzle.

  “I love you. I see my brothers and their families, and I want that. When Zach was born…” I swallow hard. “When Zach was born, I realized that no matter how much money you have or fame, none of it matters unless you have someone to share it with. I mean, how amazing is it that love created that tiny little man, a piece of both of them? I held Drew when he was born, but with Zach, it was so different. I had to watch him fight for his life while his mommy did, too. I had to watch Tristan be torn in two over being with each of them. I spent days just sitting next to Zach talking to him, so he knew he wasn’t alone, so Tristan could be with Lauren. I watched him grow stronger and bigger each day right before my eyes. I want that with you. I want a little girl with your crazy curls and big blue eyes. I want to watch our baby grow inside of you. I know it sounds crazy, but life is short, and I don’t want to wait a second longer to start living it. With you,” I say, cupping her cheek. “My heart is yours, Cass.” I kiss her deeply.