Demon Lord, Retry! Volume 1

by Kurone Kanzaki

  Before she knew it, the Demon Lord had ordered food for her, and had it served. She was now joining them for dinner.

  “It’s on me... Don’t hold back.”

  “You idiot! It’s on me, if anything!”

  “Hm, well... I guess you have a point.”

  The Demon Lord cackled. Luna, to her dismay, felt her heart skip a beat when he made a boyish grin.

  (You perverted Demon Lord... Did you put a weird spell on me...!?)

  †　†　†

  “Um, Miss Holy Maiden, I’m sorry! Master Demon Lord isn’t a bad person!”

  “What are you, stupid? In what world is there a good Demon Lord!?”

  Luna shouted, as she shoved the meat and salad down her throat. She must have been starving. Watching her eat, the Demon Lord pondered:

  (Who are the Holy Maidens, anyway...? And the Wise Angel?)

  How could he access skills, items, and even admin features from the game in this world? There was so much that he didn’t know. Was it simply because... he was Hakuto Kunai? Was it because he was an admin of the game? Considering what to ask the Holy Maiden, the Demon Lord began by crafting an item under the table. Reaching into the pitch-black space, he extracted the small machine he created. This was called a Privacy Veil. It camouflaged any conversation that the user wanted to keep private, using sound masking. In the game, this item was originally used to block any Communication attempts, but as the Communication system died down with the evolution of the internet, this item had lost its place in the Game.

  (For where we’re at... ‘Restaurant noises’ should do.)

  As he set up the machine, any voices at their table blended into their surroundings, creating a veil of sound around them. The Demon Lord couldn’t help but grimace, seeing the item in action.

  “Luna, was it...? There’s a few questions I want to ask you while you’re here.”

  “Wh-What...?”

  Luna looked at him with some intention to intimidate him, but the Demon Lord wasn’t about to miss the perfect opportunity to ask all sorts of questions about where he was. From one of the top people in the country, no less. Ignoring Luna’s attitude, he jumped into his questions:

  “Luna, have you ever heard of a country called Japan? Or America?”

  “Huh? What’s that? Also, don’t say my name.”

  Luna glared at him with her pink eyes, but her small stature made her seem like a well-groomed chihuahua to the Demon Lord.

  “Then... How about the Empire? Or the internet?”

  “What in the world are you talking about? Are you a moron? Just die already.”

  (She sure has a foul mouth...)

  The onslaught of insults from the Holy Maiden was wearing him down. Aku, on the other hand, seemed to have calmed down. She was working on her food, bite by bite, gleaming happily in between bites. Seeing her like this eased the Demon Lord’s nerves a bit. Aku seemed so pure that he doubted if her and the chihuahua were really members of the same species.

  “Alright, Pink Slut... What’s the Wise Angel?”

  “Wh-Wh-Who’re calling a slut! Who do you think I am!?”

  “Just tell me, you chihuahua. My time’s precious, unlike yours.”

  “M-My time’s precious, too! What’s a chihuahua, anyway!?”

  Taming Luna little by little, the Demon Lord asked his questions. He didn’t hear much more about the Wise Angel than he did from Aku, other than the fact that there were two angels other than the Wise Angel who vanished after sealing away the King of Devils. Apparently there was also the Still Angel and the Ember Angel, who hadn’t been seen in a long time.

  (Three angels, huh... Uh huh... I don’t get it.)

  He wasn’t even familiar with any western mythology, so he couldn’t get a grasp on it, or if there were any connections to real-life stories. He decided to ask about the other thing that was bugging him. The statue.

  “Do you know about the statue placed in the Shrine of Wishes?”

  Luna’s face twisted a little. She seemed to know something.

  “Some heathens say, that’s the Still Angel... I’m sure they’ll meet divine judgment someday.”

  “That was the Still Angel...?”

  Recalling what the statue had said, the Demon Lord entertained the idea. It had said that it used to be white. In short, maybe it was a fallen angel, the Demon Lord thought. He now had a different impression about the statue.

  (If this was a hentai game, it could be called “The Still Angel Ravished —Tainted by Flesh” or something like that.)

  Putting aside his runaway thought that would make Luna pass out, he continued:

  “What are the teachings of the Wise Angel that you believe in?”

  “Oh, does the Demon Lord want to follow the ways of the Wise Angel?”

  Luna showed a little smile, and began explaining proudly. Still, what she described was more of a self-help program than a religion. Working hard, self-improvement, overcoming obstacles. The Angel would smile upon those who work hard, gifting them with great power and protection... That was the gist of it. The dogma itself seemed pretty reasonable.

  “So it’s only natural that some people and towns are better off than others. Hard work changes everything, huh...?”

  A simple teaching, to the point. The Demon Lord contemplated it. If the world fell in place according to that dogma, those who worked hard would be rich, and those who didn’t would stay poor. Looking at Aku, though, he doubted even this world was that simple.

  “Better off from the fruits of their labor... I have always worked hard to get where I am.”

  “I-I’ve heard that... you were picked out of the orphanage for your talents, weren’t you?”

  “...That was a long time ago.”

  If what Aku had heard was true, the Demon Lord could accept that Luna did make it to where she was on her own merit. Maybe that was why she worshipped this dogma so much. More accurately, maybe she was fortunate enough to have her beliefs confirmed.

  “I see... No wonder you’re full of ambition.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  The Demon Lord had confidence in his assessment. Luna had tried to solo-hunt the Demon Lord. Not with either of the other two Holy Maidens, but with only two dozen or so guards. That seemed like the kind of ambition native to those who climbed up from the bottom.

  “My guess is... the other two are in your way.”

  “Wh-What... What makes you say that!?”

  “...Don’t bother denying it. I can tell.”

  The Demon Lord said with confidence, but he didn’t mean anything by it. While he was sitting at a nice dinner, he just thought he’d say something suave while he could. Luckily, Luna ended up spilling the beans herself. Judging by how easily she broke down, the Demon Lord figured that she didn’t really have experience interacting with people. Considering her holier-than-thou attitude and potty mouth, he doubted Luna even had a single friend. To confirm his theory, the Demon Lord solemnly said:

  “...Loner.”

  “Urgh...! Wh-What do you mean...?”

  “Nah, nothing. Just saying that Aku and I should be going...”

  “S-S-Sure... I’ve got things to do, anyway!”

  Luna’s eyes wandered about, as she hurriedly got out of her seat. The Demon Lord couldn’t help but chuckle at how obvious she was being.

  “I’m staying at an inn called Gooogle. Come see me if you need anything.”

  “I don’t need anything from you, idiot!”

  Luna stormed out of the restaurant, restoring peace and quiet to the establishment. Watching her leave, the Demon Lord stood up to make their way back to the inn. After paying the check, he exited the restaurant to realize that night had completely fallen. Their elegant dinner had been interrupted, but the Demon Lord had gained a lot from the surprise guest.

  “...Most of the time you’re kind, but sometimes you like to tease people, Master Demon Lord.”

  “I am always a gentleman...
To those who deserve respect.”

  “The Holy Maiden is very kind. Master Demon Lord, you’re... Woah!”

  Without a word, the Demon Lord carried Aku, princess-style, back to the inn. He couldn’t piggy-back her or put her on a shoulder when she was wearing such a fancy dress. The looks people gave him were like pins and needles to him, but he decided that what happens in Yahooo, stays in Yahooo.

  “Y-You are... kind. I take it back...”

  “Hm? It looks like we’ll get to sleep on a good bed for a change...”

  Smiling along, the duo spent the rest of the night in peace... They were supposed to, anyway. As soon as they had returned to their room, Luna banged on their door. The Demon Lord opened the door to see her, teary-eyed.

  “You idiot! Thanks to you, I can’t pay for a room!”

  The Demon Lord felt a little sorry for her, seeing her this way, but there was no way that he would keep this yapping girl in his room. He was being fully judgmental now, but he expected her to even ramble in her sleep.

  “Sleep on the street. Catch a cold, while you’re at it. With a fever.”

  “What the...! It’s all your fault I’m in this mess!”

  “Fine... Here, take your money. Stay wherever you want.”

  Foreseeing the trouble she would be if he gave her a reason to follow him around, the Demon Lord returned the money bag. He figured that he should find a way to make his own money sooner or later. Might as well start now.

  (Hm...?)

  Despite returning her money, Luna showed no sign of moving away from the door. In fact, more and more tears formed at her eyes. While the Demon Lord was confused, Luna blurted out this bomb:

  “F-F-F-Fine, I’ll stay here with you two, if you insist!”

  “...Huh? Did you hit your head, or something?”

  He felt like he blacked out for the portion of the conversation that led to this point.

  “Y-You’ve paid for this room with my money! Of course I’m going to stay here!”

  “...So this is what happens when a loner hits rock bottom.”

  “What do you mean, loner!? Move it! The best bed is mine!”

  And so, the peculiar trio of a Holy Maiden, Demon Lord, and Aku, was formed. The night wasn’t getting any quieter.

  The Night of Three

  Luna and Aku were sitting on the bed in the hotel room, chatting cheerfully. It was only natural that Aku had changed into her pajamas since the Demon Lord had just bought them, but the fact that Luna was wearing her pajamas was definitely weird. Perhaps she was ready to stay the night from the moment she banged on their door.

  “Admin feature... Item Folder.”

  Keeping the two girls in the corner of his eye, the Demon Lord was storing away the mountain of clothes he had bought... except he wasn’t putting them away in a dresser, but in the Item Folder. In the game, players could only hold up to ten items at a time, but the admin feature, Item Folder, had infinite slots.

  — Pure-white Dress

  — Silver Crown

  The stored items became a row of text, and it seemed that he could materialize them at any time. Watching him move the items in and out of the Folder was reminiscent of a certain blue robot from a popular anime.

  “Got it, Aku? Just call me Sister Luna.”

  “Am I allowed to address a Holy Maiden like that...?”

  “I told you, you can. My word is law.”

  Luna spouted off, sitting on the bed, holding up her index finger.

  (Your word is law...?)

  To the Demon Lord, Luna almost seemed too prideful to be real. At this point, he figured that she had probably just come over since she was lonely in this town without any friends.

  “Sure, I may be the youngest, but I really should be the one in charge!”

  “Really!?”

  (Yeah, right. This country would have been burned to the ground ages ago if you were in charge.)

  He assumed the youngest of the Holy Maidens was only in that teenage phase of wanting to act mature. Letting her prattle on could have led to Aku believing her nonsense, so the Demon Lord interjected with a disinterested tone.

  “So, the girl with the flaming pants... Are you going to the Holy City, too?”

  “The girl who... What’s that mean? It sounds kind of cool.”

  Luna turned to him with glee, but of course, it wasn’t a compliment.

  “It means you’re a liar... I think it’s a perfect moniker.”

  “You’re the one to talk! You perverted Demon Lord! Get a haircut, idiot!”

  While he didn’t know what his hair had to do with anything, the Demon Lord could only imagine that she was selected to be a Holy Maiden on the sole criteria of her ability to throw insults. Clearly, that was the only explanation.

  “Besides, you asked me like I was going on vacation or something. I live in the Holy Castle inside the Holy City.”

  “Hm... Aku and I will change our course, then.”

  “W-Why!?”

  “I’m getting a headache just thinking about traveling with you. That’ll be unadulterated torture.”

  “Th-That’s a little harsh...”

  Luna said, acting defeated all of a sudden. The quick change in her demeanor startled the Demon Lord.

  (Why is she upset now? Her mood changes at the drop of a hat. It’s like riding a roller coaster.)

  That being said, he reconsidered the possibility that most girls her age would have acted the same way. Meanwhile, Aku was speaking to Luna, trying to comfort her. As far as the Demon Lord could tell, Aku seemed infinitely more saintly than this Holy Maiden.

  “Master Demon Lord, you’ve hurt her feelings... Let’s travel together.”

  “Oh, you’re so good, Aku! Unlike this pervert here!”

  Luna joyfully wrapped herself around Aku and nuzzled their cheeks together.

  Watching this ordeal, the Demon Lord was assured that Luna had lived her whole life without so much as a single friend. That might have invoked in him some pity for her.

  “Miss Holy Maiden. Master Demon Lord is very kind, too...”

  “How!? His hair is so long, and he keeps staring at my butt! I bet he’s eyeing my peach-plump butt right now!”

  (I take it back. She doesn’t deserve pity.)

  The Demon Lord only saw Luna as a child, inside and out. Nothing about her rear end was attractive to him. While on the subject, her chest was as flat as an airport runway. So flat that planes could land on it during a storm.

  (But the Holy City, huh...?)

  He imagined this and that about the big city he had yet to see. If he was going to look into the angels, it made sense to head to the capital. That was just about the only action he could take, other than recovering the Admin Features.

  “Peach Butt, can I find out more about the Ember Angel in the Holy City?”

  “S-S-S-S-See! You’re after my butt! You Demon Butt Lord!”

  “You’re the one who said it first...”

  Luna stood up from the bed, covering her bottom. Her face had a tint of blush on it. Seeing her reaction, the Demon Lord wondered if the Holy Maiden had some masochistic tendencies, but decided to get off the topic of butts. His gut was telling him that the statue in the Shrine of Wishes was the Still Angel. Transporting someone from another realm seemed like the sort of power reserved for god-like entities. That particular god-like entity, though, had crumbled to dust. His only lead at the moment for returning to his original world was the Ember Angel.

  “Oh, what do you want to learn about the Ember Angel for...? I won’t stand for any trouble-making in the capital.”

  “It’s not trouble-making to blast off magic at someone on first sight?”

  “As a Holy Maiden, I have the right to prosecute criminals!”

  The Demon Lord almost couldn’t contain his laughter. ‘Right,’ again? While on the subject, he switched to questions about magic.

  “Luna, can I ask you about magic?”

  “D-Don’t... Don’t
say my name out of the blue like that... You idiot!”

  (Urghhh... This chick is infinitely annoying.)

  ‘Go tsundere on some teenager, please!’ the Demon Lord screamed internally. Talking with this Holy Maiden only reminded him of how old he had gotten. Back in the day, tsundere girls and all sorts of anime tropes would have got him going, but with age, it all just became tiresome.

  ...So, a rather eventful line of questioning came to an end as Aku and Luna went to take a bath. Left alone in the room, the Demon Lord rolled on the bed. Through what must have been thin walls, he could hear the girls talking.

  “Miss Holy Maiden, the bubbles Master Demon Lord gave me are amazing!”

  “Bubbles... Aku, you sound like a child. A lady calls this soap.”

  He let out a sigh. He had asked Luna a few questions about magic, but just holding a conversation with her was excruciating. Here and there, her tsundere would activate, grinding down the Demon Lord’s sanity each time. It was almost torturous.

  (A ‘bath,’ huh...?)

  The girls were ecstatic in their cold bath. Since this country was hot most of the time, apparently a cold bath was the height of luxury. For a Japanese man who had taken a hot bath every single day of his life, just a cold bath was unacceptable.

  (There’s a lot to think about...)

  About how to make a living... About money. And about protecting himself against magic.

  “See, these tiny, tiny bubbles come out, making your skin silky smooth.”

  “Come now, Aku. How could a bar of soap be so- oooohhh!? What is this thing!?”

  (Shut up, already...! I can’t hear myself think!)

  Giving up on furthering his thoughts in the room, the Demon Lord headed out to the balcony.

  “It cleans really well, and it even smells good.”

  “Krr... That Demon Pervert Lord...! Don’t think you can break me this easily!”

  Hearing this, the Demon Lord thought about calling her Asagi from now on, but thought better of it, realizing that no one in this world would understand the reference. Turning his back on the commotion from the other side of the wall, he stepped out onto the balcony to gaze out at the nightscape. There were torch-like installations here and there, and some along the main street were even as bright as streetlights.