Demon Lord, Retry! Volume 1

by Kurone Kanzaki

  (I guess those have magic using the Light element.)

  Apparently, magic can also be used by infusing it into chunks of a special mineral, called Spell Stones, instead of casting spells on the spot.

  (The infrastructure of this world...)

  Luna had told him that anyone who could use magic would never go hungry. What he saw in the streets backed her up. Elements of Fire and Water, for example, must have countless uses for the people of this world without modern technology. Back in Japan, one knob in the kitchen produced fire while another produced water. He was witnessing the pinnacle of a fantasy world.

  (I better start making money. Never know when I’ll need it.)

  The Demon Lord considered this, but wasn’t too worried about his finances. He was willing to bet that he could sell off items from the Game at considerable prices. On a more basic level, even a Bottle of Water would sell for good money. He already knew that clean water was a prized commodity in this country. The problem was, a bottle of water from the Game was an item that healed the user’s HP by 20.

  (Selling something like that... Might only cause more problems. What else?)

  Since the climate was hot, he thought of an item called Fortune Teller Bar, a bar of ice cream on a stick that contained a fortune. Once the user ate the bar, their stats were affected according to the fortune. A Very Lucky bar even regenerated the user’s Stamina. This also seemed like a troublesome item to put out on the market.

  (Back to soap, I guess...?)

  He recalled all sorts of items, like the Whiskey Box, Pastry, Dumpling, Wheel of Cheese, Jerky, Canned Food, Lump of Meat... all of which healed HP or Stamina. Weapons and armor, of course, were out of the question.

  (How about Bowls or Tea Cups... or Buddha Statues?)

  Actually, the Demon Lord thought, those had better potential. He was already seen as a foreigner from a distant land. It didn’t seem too far-fetched for him to have some oriental things.

  (Maybe I can push it more...? Like playing a travelling art dealer.)

  Of course, the Bowl and Tea Cup were both garbage items with +1 Attack. The Buddha Statue, however, was a pretty decent item at +18 Attack.

  (Alright. Maybe I’ll try selling a Tea Cup as some fancy drinkware...)

  And so, the night thickened on the three of them and their lively room.

  Meanwhile, a certain calamity was headed for Yahooo.

  Killer Queen

  A large piece of architecture was charging down the highroad... A gigantic chair being led by ten horses. There were many large wheels underneath it, running over and crushing stones as the chair charged towards Yahooo. Surrounding it were one hundred and eight elite knights of the Holy Knights’ Order. It looked as if the group were en route to war. However, many of the knights, who all wore uniform, hallowed armor, had shaved heads or Mohawks. They looked far from a bunch of angel worshippers. This was the personal army of a Holy Maiden, Killer Queen. Anyone who didn’t know them would have pegged them for a North Star gang of bandits. But this very battalion was the most trusted, loved, and respected group of fighters in the country, all for one simple reason: they trampled over any and all evil they came across. Whether a powerful mob boss or a weasel in power, Killer Queen left no man standing in the wreckage of her rampage. In her violence was a simple form of justice. Her carnage was let loose against invading forces, too. Once, the enemy forces fell apart and retreated the moment her army arrived.

  “My Queen, we’re almost there.”

  A towering man resembling a boulder informed his mistress, to whom he vowed his never-ending devotion. The man was called Mount Fuji. He used to be an unstoppable bandit around these parts. But now, he had sworn to serve his mistress through hell or high water. After being beaten to a pulp countless times by Killer Queen, he had traded in his life of crime for a position within the Holy Knights’ Order. The man’s mother had cried tears of joy and gratitude for the Holy Maiden. Killer Queen had many tear-jerker stories like this under her belt. She was a truly extraordinary figure in this country, whose merciless violence was always seen as just.

  “That fucker... Making me haul my ass all this way.”

  Her legs crossed high on her giant chair, Killer Queen tossed back her glass of wine.

  Despite the speed it was going at, the chair was as smooth as a ride could be at the top. An exorbitant amount of Spell Stones were used in the construction in order to minimize Queen’s discomfort.

  “How courageous of her to try and take down the Demon Lord! Everyone is impressed, My Queen. She really is your sister.”

  “Ya dumbass, that fucker just wants attention. Besides, there’s no such thing as a Demon Lord to begin with, dumbshit.”

  These sisters at least had their vulgarity in common. It might make one wonder what a Holy Maiden should be like, but all of the knights around her were overflowing with passionate devotion, all directed towards Killer Queen and Killer Queen alone. Despite her vulgar vocabulary, she was beautiful in a different way than her younger sister. She had long, straight, blond hair and a slender body, well-toned by battle. Her leg peering through the slit in her nun’s robe was terribly alluring. Her eyes were golden like her hair, but they seemed to see through so much more than her younger sibling’s. Rumor had it, no matter how tough the criminal, a glare from her eyes would have them begging for their life. Even the hood of her robe was pushed back. She almost looked like a heretic, but her beauty justified it all. No matter the world, beautiful people seemed to get away with anything.

  “I have heard, My Queen, that the King of Devils was killed...”

  Queen gritted her teeth. The big news regarding the King of Devils’ resurrection was not one that reached her ear. It was kept from her through some politicking behind closed doors.

  (What were you thinking, big sis...?)

  With a tsk, the Queen pictured the one responsible for keeping that information from her. She had a good guess as to her sister’s intentions.

  (You thought I was going to lose...? Motherfucker.)

  In truth, Queen would not have stood a chance against the King of Devils. No matter how deteriorated it was, there were hopelessly few candidates in this entire world who could have damaged that monster.

  (Demon Lord, huh...?)

  Queen vaguely imagined whatever a Demon Lord would look like. Before now, the Demon Lord’s existence was exclusive to legends and fairytales. Through the entirety of recorded history, there were no witnesses to such a being. By any rationale, its existence was imaginary.

  “Fuji, you believe in something like that? The Demon Lord?”

  Fuji’s eyes widened at Queen’s question. She usually addressed people as fucker, or dumbass, or dumbshit, or slugbag, or... She rarely addressed them by their names. The fact that she did now was an indication of her sincerity.

  “I have no opinion, My Queen. What you believe, I believe.”

  “Are you literally meat-brained, dumbass? You maggot.”

  Despite the insults raining down on him, Fuji was smiling with glee. The knights around him grumbled in envy. To them, an insult from Queen was a reward second to none. Calling this group a mistress and her slaves may paint a more accurate picture than calling them a commander and her soldiers.

  Meanwhile, the Demon Lord himself...

  “A piece from beyond the sea past the city-states, you say...?”

  “Yes. A historical drinkware. Back in my country, drinkware like this can be a reward more prized than land or precious metals.”

  ...had become a full-blown scam artist, preying on a merchant. The merchant’s name was Gonald McBonald. He held a long-standing, large-scale art dealership in the city.

  “This cup is a reward prized more than land or gold...?”

  “Refined gentlemen prefer artisan drinkware over a plot of land. What good is gold to a growling gut? But to sip from a cup worth a large chunk of land? How gallant!”

  With grandiose gestures, the Demon Lord performed his speech.
He seemed more of a natural-born scammer than a Demon Lord. The thing is, his story wasn’t completely fabricated. There were times in feudal Japan when drinkware were more sought after than land or gold. The trickle of truth blended into the lies helped him remain confident in his pitch.

  “I-I see...”

  In reality, the Demon Lord’s confidence, dress, and his reputation as a rich traveler had given his claim some serious weight. To boot, he was extremely close to a Holy Maiden. With his hand stacked in his favor, no one would have dared to think that anything the Demon Lord brought in was worthless.

  “It’s our first business transaction. Just this time... I can let go of it for one gold medallion.”

  “G-Gold medallion!?”

  Confident as ever, the Demon Lord demanded a gold medallion for it. The truth was that the Demon Lord didn’t comprehend how much any of this country’s currencies were worth, let alone what a gold medallion was worth. He simply asked for the biggest piece of currency he could find in Luna’s money bag. His lack of knowledge, combined with his shameless brazenness, was miraculously allowing him to pull this off.

  “A work of art shines brighter with a worthy price... As you well know, I’m sure.”

  “Yes, I can’t deny that.”

  McBonald wholeheartedly agreed. He owned a shop with plenty of art pieces in a city bustling with trading merchants. This statement seemed to resonate with him. In fact, McBonald had never seen nor heard about anything like this drinkware. A piece brought in from across the sea by a close friend of a Holy Maiden... Such a product wouldn’t stay on his shelf for long.

  “However, when selling this to a customer... I want you to price it no less than five gold medallions. That is my condition for this sale.”

  “F-Five gold medallions...”

  Overwhelming confidence and guarantee for the piece was shown in the subtext of this condition. He wasn’t going to allow a sale at all for less than that price. The Demon Lord’s confidence prevailed in the end, readying McBonald to bite the bullet.

  “I understand. I agree to your condition, sir.”

  “Excellent. Please, have this on me.”

  The Demon Lord put another item from the game, a jar of Honey on the table. This was an incredible item that healed 60 HP and 60 Stamina. He had spent 30 SP just to materialize a single jar. In the game, this was just a one-shot item, but in this world, the drastic healing to both HP and Stamina would have an unbelievable effect. This jar of honey was akin to the Elixir, rumored to be the tears of God. A work of miracles, coveted by royalty, nobles, and adventurers around the world.

  “Is this... honey?”

  “Honey from the Emp... my country has special properties. Please give some to anyone with an illness.”

  “How kind... My wife has been ill for a long time, now.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Please, give some to your wife.”

  With a handshake, the Demon Lord concluded his business with McBonald. The Demon Lord came out rich from this transaction, but McBonald also made out like a bandit when a rich collector in the city scooped the drinkware off his shelf in no time. McBonald had made a ridiculous profit of four gold medallions just for being the middleman. On top of that, his ill-stricken wife regained her former strength the instant she took some of the honey. Even her skin seemed younger, somehow. From this point on, McBonald would wholeheartedly trust anything the Demon Lord brought in.

  The Demon Lord, once he had made his way to an unpopulated alley, cackled up at the sky.

  “Hah ha ha! I knew I could pull it off if I tried!”

  After having to maintain his brazen confidence to mask his terror inside, the Demon Lord felt an immense relief.

  “Now that I’ve made some money... What to do next?”

  With a grin, he gazed up at the sky. Clouds in various shapes were leisurely floating by, making for a relaxing sight.

  “It really doesn’t rain here, does it...?”

  He hated the rain. It almost always reminded him of something unbearable. In that sense, the climate of this place suited him just fine.

  (I guess there’s a lot of stuff to worry about if you live here, though.)

  He could easily imagine that from what Aku and Luna had told him. Sometimes, the ever-glaring sun can dry up even the human heart.

  As the Demon Lord was contemplating such things...

  “Get out here, Luna!”

  A shout pierced through the lazy afternoon. It rarely rained in this country, but on this day, a monsoon of blood would soon fall upon this city.

  Satanists

  Holylight, despite its classism and internal conflicts, had remained intact through the worship of the historical Wise Angel. That being said, there was a group far off from the national ideology. Not hedonistic bandits or robbers, but worshippers of beings opposite to angels. They were Satanists, worshippers of devils.

  At first, the Satanists had only the modest demand for wealth redistribution. Over time, though, they had turned to call for the abolishment of nobles, and even accusing the Wise Angel for creating the nation’s classism in the first place. The truth was, the Wise Angel had nothing to do with nobles or classism. The Wise Angel itself had vanished after fighting the King of Devils. Many of those who fought alongside the Wise Angel at the time had obtained positions of power, later becoming nobles. The Satanists, though, didn’t care at all about the historical facts or their accuracies. The now, and their end, was all they lived for.

  At some point, someone called Utopia had appeared before them. Ever since, the Satanists grew more and more aggressive. Finally, they had started worshipping devils in opposition of the angels, and performing random terror attacks throughout the country, before finally attempting to summon the Demon Lord.

  “Get out here, Luna!”

  Queen’s roar reverberated through the alleyways. Hearing this, the Satanists were overjoyed. For all they knew, they had failed to summon the Demon Lord, but they had baited a Holy Maiden out. It wasn’t in vain, after all. They set their plan in motion to assassinate the Holy Maidens.

  “Cursed be the Holy Maidens...”

  “Cursed be.”

  Warlkin, the leader of the assassins, called out, and eerie voices replied from the shadowy alleys. It was incredibly fortunate for them that two of the Holy Maidens were in town, when they would have considered themselves lucky to even take down one.

  (With our secret weapon, our plan is foolproof...)

  Warlkin couldn’t help but grimace in anticipation. If he had known that the Demon Lord they had waited so long for was just around the corner, he just might have fainted.

  †　†　†

  (Yikes, this chick... Was she born under the North Star?)

  Picking up on the commotion from the alley, the Demon Lord had concealed himself in the crowd on the main street. He was staring at a woman atop a ludicrously large chair, surrounded by a band of skinheads and Mohawks. At first, he pinned them to be bandits or a circus troupe, but he kept hearing murmuring from the crowd mentioning the words ‘Holy Maiden.’

  (That’s... one of Luna’s sisters...? For real!?)

  She looked to him as if she was about to shout ‘I’ve no need for love!’ evoking even more strange feelings in the Demon Lord about the Holy Maidens.

  “Oh yeah... If there’s a Demon Lord around here, show your face.”

  In reaction, the Mohawks around her started screaming the same demand, flailing their clubs around. How could they possibly be a Holy Maiden’s army? ‘Bring out all the food and water you’ve got!’ seemed more like a demand they were about to make.

  “I guess the Demon Lord’s a pussy... Too scared to face me, huh?”

  (Shut up, you freak! Go back to your post-apocalypse!)

  The Demon Lord shouted internally with all of his might. Who in their right mind would step in front of a bunch like them just to be like ‘Yep, that’s me. Demon Lord here’? The Mohawks would beat him to pulp in two seconds flat.
>
  “S-Sister... Why are you here!?”

  Luna coming out to the main street only made the commotion louder, much to the dismay of the Demon Lord. Things were most certainly about to get more complicated.

  “You little fucker... Who do you think you are, playing with fire behind my back?”

  “N-No! I just heard that the Demon Lord had appeared, so...!”

  “You dumb piece of shit! You’re a useless sack on your own, so go cry in your room, miserable little fucker.”

  From atop her chair, Queen thrusted her middle finger up in the air towards Luna. A flawless display of disdain. It was at this moment that all rules seemed to have gone out the window.

  “Y-You don’t have to be so mean! And I’ve been meaning to ask you, what’s with the stupid big chair!?”

  “Huh? You got a problem with my portable throne...?”

  Listening to the argument, the Demon Lord lit a cigarette without saying a word. He needed something to help him get through it. In fact, he doubted if the creature atop the giant chair was really a woman. Was it possible that it was a monster by the name of Thouzer, or something?

  “I-I’m the one who’s going to take down the Demon Lord! You go home, Sis!”

  “Take down something that doesn’t exist? Good luck with that.”

  “He exists, too! He’s always after my butt!”

  “...Huh? What’s this about your ass?”

  (Damnit...! I thought I was ready, but I wasn’t ready for this!)

  The Demon Lord writhed in embarrassment, barely keeping himself from curling up on the ground. Before he knew it, he was now the pervert lusting after Luna’s butt.

  (Wait a minute... I can take Aku and ditch the city while they’re duking it out.)

  He gripped his fists at his brilliance. Luna on her own was too much to handle, let alone her crazy sister. When the Demon Lord turned towards the inn in order to avoid that nightmare, a scream pierced through the street... followed by a spray of blood.

  †　†　†