“Anyone want coffee?” I yawn.
“I’ll make it,” Ryder says and pads off to the kitchen.
Jayson heads down the hall to his bathroom. “You want in first?” he asks me.
“No, you go ahead. I can wait. Coffee first.” I hear Jayson’s chuckle before he disappears into his bedroom.
When I walk into the kitchen, Ryder already has the coffee brewing. I stop and lean against the entryway that connects the kitchen to the living room. Ryder’s bare, muscled back greets me, his sweatpants riding low and clinging to his hips. Is it wrong of me to be turned on by that right now? I watch as he adds two yellow packets of sweetener to the first cup of coffee and stirs. He picks up the mug and turns around.
“Hey. Didn’t hear you come in,” he says when he sees me.
“Just enjoying the view.”
I leave my place at the entrance and saunter over to him. Ryder sets the mug down on the center island. I walk into his embrace and inhale. I love the way he smells. Something citrusy, slightly musky, and all Ryder.
“I’m sorry I woke you,” I tell him while rubbing my cheek lightly against the soft hairs of his chest.
“I was already up. I don’t think any of us slept much. Well, other than Julien, clearly.” I smile at his wry humor.
“I think a stampede of elephants doing a tap dance on his chest wouldn’t wake him up,” I reply, lifting up on my tiptoes.
“He’s had a rough week.”
“We all have.” Once I’ve raised high enough to reach Ryder’s mouth, I whisper, “Good morning.”
Ryder bands an arm around my lower back and cups my face. “Good morning,” he says back and gives me the kiss I have been wanting since I walked into the kitchen.
No matter how out of control my world feels right now, this man right here brings me back. He grounds me with his love and support. He heals me with every kiss he gives. I press closer, delving deeper, and a low grumble of a moan passes from him into me. I could stand here and kiss him all day, but we both hear someone coming down the hallway and know it’s more than likely Jayson. With one final touch of our lips, we pull apart. I lift the coffee from the counter and take a sip just as Jayson walks in.
“My bathroom’s available for anyone who needs it.” Jayson walks over and wraps his arms around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. I don’t try to move away. Ryder doesn’t say a word. We both understand Jayson needs this connection with me.
“I foresee a very long nap later today,” Jayson says next to my ear. I sip more coffee and nod in agreement.
“I’m going to check to see what assignments I need to do for today. I should call Meredith too. I hope she’s not too mad at me for dropping off the face of the planet this week.”
“Invite her over,” Ryder suggests handing Jayson a steaming mug.
“Maybe. Let me see how I feel later today. I’m not ready to re-enter the world just yet. I’m giving myself until Monday. I canceled my appointment with Dr. Clairemont for today. I do need to get some fresh clothes from my apartment. Check my mail.” It’s a given that I’ll continue to stay with them for as long as I need to. If it was up to them, I would have been moved in three days ago.
“Liz,” Jayson says, turning me around to face him. “I would like to tell my parents. They should know.”
“That’s going to be a very unpleasant conversation.” How do we tell his parents that we got pregnant and they have a dead granddaughter that we never knew existed in the first place?
“I can’t spring this on them over the phone. I’d like it if you would come home with me so we can do it together in person. They’ve been wanting to see you anyway.”
I jerk back and bump into Ryder. A splash of coffee spills from my mug, so I put it down. “Jayson, I can’t. I just can’t. The house. I’m not ready to see it yet.”
This time Ryder’s arms come around me in comfort. I’m not ready to go back to the place where my family was murdered. Going home with Jayson means that I will see it. I won’t be able to avoid it because I know our houses are right next to each other. It means I’ll have to face that awful night for real. And I’m not ready.
“Shit, Liz. I didn’t even think. Fuck. I’m sorry.”
“I would like to go see her. See Elizabeth Ann. Do you think we could fly to Seattle sometime so we can see our daughter?”
Julien walks in the kitchen at that moment. “We’ll all go. Let me check with Coach and see if I can get a couple of days off. We usually have a week between each match so it shouldn’t be a problem to take a couple of days off in between games.”
Julien heads over to where we’re standing between the counter and the middle island. He pulls me away from Ryder and I get a third morning hug.
“I hope we didn’t wake you.”
“Nah,” he says and grabs my coffee where I placed it.
“Hey! Hands off.”
Julien takes a long gulp, grinning the entire time. He finishes and licks his lips with a smack. “It’s three in the morning. Everybody’s up but Elijah. Why don’t we remedy that?” Julien waggles his eyebrows at me, and I grin in return.
“Race you,” I call out, already dashing out of the kitchen to Julien’s room, our kitchen conversation going from serious to playful. We’ve existed in so much heartache the past three days, it’s nice to have some silliness sneak in.
The guys easily catch up with me and I fling Julien’s bedroom door open with a loud crack.
“Holy fuck!” Elijah yells and falls off the bed. “You assholes!” we hear him holler from the floor on the other side of the room.
“Wake up, Elijah!” Julien bellows and dives over the bed with an impressive belly slide. He lands on top of Elijah with an “umph.”
I leap on top of the bedcovers, but Ryder tackles me from the side. Elijah and Julien are wrestling on the floor. Elijah tries to push Julien off between half-hearted bouts of cursing. Jayson lands beside me and starts to tickle my ribcage as Ryder holds me down.
I’m flailing and shrieking in fits of giggles.
“Say ‘flubberjizz.’” Ryder laughs down at me.
“What does that even mean?” I snort because I’m laughing so hard, but he and Jayson don’t stop tickling me. I shriek again just as Jayson finds the place under my knee where I’m most sensitive.
“So cute,” he says and attacks the other knee.
“Julien, save me from your brother!” I screech while trying to squirm away from Jayson’s fingers, but Ryder’s hold on me is too strong.
“Julien’s not going to save you, princess.”
Ryder bends down and nips my neck under my jaw. “Say ‘flubberjizz’ and we’ll let you up.” He nips me again and Jayson does a dual attack on the soles of both of my feet.
“Flubberjizz! Flubberjizz!”
I’m breathless and a little sweaty. I roll to my stomach and poke my head over the side of the bed. Elijah and Julien are no longer wrestling; they’re making out.
Jayson smacks my butt and I look over my shoulder and stick my tongue out at him. He pops up from the bed. “Who wants pancakes?”
Four voices yell “me,” but two of them are muffled. The guys bought a ton of gluten-free stuff from the grocery store the other day. Even though Jayson says he can’t cook, he makes a mean gluten-free waffle. I had the pleasure of eating two of them yesterday morning. I can’t wait to try his pancakes.
I roll over the side of the bed and fall on top of Julien and Elijah. “Good morning, Elijah,” I say cheerily. He’s on the bottom of our people sandwich. Elijah shifts his head to the side so he can see me. “Good morning, Liz.”
I pinch Julien’s ass cheek and he jumps causing Elijah to cry out, “Shit! Watch the balls.”
Ryder lifts me off Julien’s back and throws me down on the bed. Jayson’s already left the room to start making pancakes.
Two heads peek up from the edge of the bed. “Get a room,” Julien tells Ryder.
Ryder is hovering over me, elbows on eith
er side of my face. “We already have a room,” he quips then kisses me.
“Wait,” Elijah says. “You guys are hooking up?”
“They are,” Julien replies to his boyfriend.
“When the hell did this happen?” Elijah looks from us to Julien, his expression almost comical. “Does Jayson know?”
“He does,” Julien says. “Come on. Let’s go help Jay. I’ll explain everything later.”
“Well, fuck. Where the hell have I been lately?”
Ryder and I watch Julien drag a reluctant Elijah out of the room. Ryder looks back down at me when they’re gone, and I smile up at him.
“Poor Elijah. He’s got a lot to catch up on.”
“He’ll live,” Ryder says and drops down so our bodies are touching. He kisses the tip of my nose. “I know Jay’s being cool about everything, but I have a feeling if I try anything more than hugging you or giving you a quick kiss, he’s going to rip my head off. Then again, I had to sit by for years and watch him with you, so…”
“I love you, Ryder. You are such a wonderful man. I’ll never be able to repay all that you’re doing for me, and for Jayson.”
“Anything for you, sweet Elizabeth. You know that.”
I take a lock of his hair that has fallen over his brow and push it back into place. “I do know that.” I lift up and kiss his stubbled chin. “I’m going to take a quick shower, eat pancakes, do some work, and will call Meredith before nine. In that order.”
“Wish I could join you.” Ryder lifts up my tank top and touches his lips to the scar on my abdomen. The one I now know is from the emergency C-section I had while in a coma. I tear up.
“I hope she knows how much I love her. That must sound so stupid.”
Ryder kisses the scar again. “No, it doesn’t.”
“I don’t even remember. Did I know I was pregnant but never told Jayson about it? Or was I as clueless as he was?”
“I know you Elizabeth. You didn’t know. If you did, you would have told all of us. You would have shouted it out to the world. Even though you were eighteen, you never would have been ashamed or worried. I know you would have loved your little girl with everything in you.”
The tears that were barely clinging behind my eyes spill over.
“I wish I could find Him. I wish I could hunt Him down. I want to kill him, Ryder, for what he did. For what he took. I hate Him so much.” The venom in my voice comes out strong. “I hate Him.”
The bed dips on either side of us. Jayson, Julien, and Elijah must have heard everything I said. Ryder lifts up and brings me with him. The four boys surround me on all sides, and we embrace as one, our heads tipped forward so our foreheads meet in the middle of our family circle. We stay like that for several minutes. Our unit strong and united.
“I love you guys,” I tell them. “Now, let’s go eat pancakes.”
Chapter 27
Elizabeth
Around a quarter ‘til nine, I finally boot up my phone and am not surprised to see my voicemail inbox is full and about a hundred text messages are waiting. I don’t listen to or read any of them. Meredith is like me and arrives early to class, so she should be arriving or already in English Lit right now. I hit the green call button.
“Holy shit! You’re alive!” she answers. “What the hell, Elizabeth!”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m a horrible friend.”
“Where are you? You haven’t shown up to class or study group all week.”
“Don’t freak out.”
“Okay,” she drawls out in skepticism.
“I fainted and was in the hospital Tuesday night. I’ve been recouping at the guys’ place since.”
Me telling Meredith not to freak out is like trying to tell a room full of people not to panic when someone yells fire.
“What! You passed out? Where are you? I’m coming to you right now. When I get my hands on you I’m going to smack you first then hug you, or hug you first then smack you.”
I hear someone in the background say, “What do you mean she passed out?”
“Is that Trevor?”
“Yes, it’s Trevor. You know, the other friend of yours who has also been worried sick about you.”
I hear some scraping noises and then, “Elizabeth?”
“Hey, Trevor. Before you start yelling at me too, could you please make sure she doesn’t leave class to hunt me down. I’m fine. Honest.”
“You weren’t fine Tuesday evening.”
“Trevor, give me my phone back,” Meredith says in the background.
I hear some more shuffling noises and can only imagine Meredith trying to take her phone away from him. He’s over a foot taller than she is so could easily keep it out of her reach. “Trevor!”
“Firecracker here is about to lose her shit. When are you coming back?”
“Monday,” I tell him. “Pizza and a movie with me and the guys later tonight at their place. You’re invited. Bring Meredith.”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Do what? Let me talk to her,” Meredith demands. More shuffling.
“Do what?” she asks me when she gets back on the phone.
“You guys are coming over tonight. You can yell at me then. I deserve it.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Hey, Meredith. Did you notice?”
“Notice what?”
“Trevor just gave you a nickname,” I say, smiling at her gasp.
“He totally did, didn’t he?”
“Stay in class. I’ll see you tonight… firecracker.” She squeals. I hear Trevor groan. The phone disconnects.
“Shit, Liz. You had to invite Fallon’s brother over, didn’t you?”
“Half-brother,” I remind him.
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle your girl for more than five minutes at a time. She seems like a handful,” Jayson comments from one side of the sofa, eyes closed.
After breakfast, we did some coursework and we’re now settling in for a nap. Ryder is already passed out on the other end of the sofa. I’ve been sitting on the floor working calc problems. Elijah left with Julien earlier.
Jayson pats the place beside him on the couch and I join him, laying my head on his shoulder. He reaches around me and settles back.
“This is nice,” he says. “I’ve missed this with you.”
“Napping?”
“No, princess. I’ve missed the days we would sit around the house being lazy. Me and you snuggled on the couch doing nothing. It’s nice. Peaceful,” he finishes.
“Shh,” I tell him. Jayson leans his head against mine and closes his eyes. “Jayson?”
“Yeah?”
“You would have been a great dad.”
“I don’t know about that. I’m hot-headed. I usually act before I think. Those aren’t two qualities a kid should look up to.”
“You forget that I also see how deeply you love. You love Julien and Elijah. And even though you won’t admit it, you love Ryder, too.” He grunts. “You’ve taken care of me this week,” I hesitate. “I know it must hurt you to see me with Ryder.” Another grunt. “I can see how the old me would have fallen head over heels in love with you. So, yeah, you would have been a fantastic father to our daughter.”
“Liz,” Jayson breathes and I feel his exhale like a soft flutter against my hair.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect our little girl.”
His arm tightens and he kisses the side of my head. “You fought as hard as you could, Liz. She knows that. She’s looking down on us right now. She knows we love her. Now go to sleep.”
“Okay.”
“Spill,” Meredith demands, pointing at me. As soon as she walked through the front door with Trevor tonight, she grabbed me and marched me into my bedroom and locked the door. “I will hog-tie you to this bed and not let you leave until you do.”
I cross my arms and size her up. She may be tiny, but she is fierce. I have no doubt that she would do it.
�
�The ER doctor said I had low blood sugar which caused me to pass out.”
Meredith’s eyes narrow on me. “I call bullshit. You becoming a hyperventilating zombie was not caused by low blood sugar. Try again.”
“You are a pit bull, you know that?”
“Stop trying to sweet talk me, Elizabeth. You frightened the shit out of me Tuesday night. Is there something wrong with you? Are you sick or something?” She drops her defensive stance in front of the door and plops down on my bed, dragging me with her.
“I’m not sick. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.”
“Don’t make me call bullshit again. I’ll MacGyver an answer out of you if I have to.”
This crazy girl. “Like, you’ll fashion a paper clip with a stick of gum to create a human torture device to get me to confess?”
“Exactly,” she says brightly, and we both giggle.
“I’ve missed you this week, firecracker.”
“Don’t you love it! I love it! My own Trevor nickname,” Meredith swoons and falls back onto my bed doing what looks like snow angels with her arms and legs.
“Speaking of Trevor, what’s up with you two? And an undecipherable rebus doesn’t count as an answer.”
“Nope. You have to answer first before I do. Was it really low blood sugar?”
She’s not going to let up and I’m not prepared to tell her everything. “Partly, yes. I passed out after you and Trevor left.”
“What about before.”
“That was my brain on overload from a memory trying to resurface.”
“Holy shit, girl! Are you serious? ‘Cause it was scary as fuck.”
“Totally serious. That’s what they look like, I’m told.”
“Oh, Elizabeth, that’s really sucky. But you’re okay now, right? Did your memory come back? Is there anything I can do? I haven’t told Trevor or anyone else about your amnesia, just like I promised I wouldn’t. He’s going to figure it out eventually, though.”
“I’m good. And, no. No memory resurgence. Still as clueless about my past today as I was on Tuesday.”
“Oh.” Meredith frowns with a pout. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”
“It’s okay. Those episodes have been happening for the past eleven months. I’m sorry if it scared you. Since Tuesday, I’ve been staying here with the boys and they’re keeping an eye on me.”
Paper Stars Rewritten: Fallen Brook Series: Book 2 Page 22