The Baby They Longed For

by Marion Lennox

  And it wasn’t all about the baby. In fact, it wasn’t even mostly about the baby. The way Addie made him feel...

  But he had to tread with care, he told himself. A woman he scarcely knew, a woman he’d...okay, say it like it was...a woman he’d shared a one-night stand with, was pregnant. She’d made her own decisions. He didn’t owe her anything.

  Except he did. She’d been vulnerable. She’d been...

  Addie.

  He could see the lights from her cottage from where he stood on the beach. Was she still awake?

  Surely it had nothing to do with him.

  But it had to have something to do with him. He stood on the beach and let the shock of the day drift and settle.

  There’d been too much emotion, he told himself. Neither of them needed it. What he needed was to be sensible.

  If this pregnancy progressed to a birth then, regardless of what happened with Sophie, he couldn’t go to London. He knew that.

  But then he thought, even if this pregnancy didn’t work out, how could he leave Addie? How could he walk away from her pain?

  That was a bit of a blindsider.

  Emotion... Back off, he told himself. Talk sense.

  The light flicked off in the little cottage up on the cliff. She’d gone to bed.

  She’d be frightened.

  Of course she would. Even without the unknowns of her pregnancy, he’d threatened her. He’d seen it in her body language. She didn’t need him. Or...she didn’t want to need him.

  But friends... If he could figure that one out...

  Where to start?

  His mind was in overdrive.

  He paced a while longer. This was important.

  He needed to get things right.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ON SUNDAY ADDIE woke to Daisy going nuts at the door, almost turning inside out with excitement. She heard footsteps on the veranda. A knock.

  She pushed back the curtains, just a little, and saw Noah standing at her front door. Casually dressed in jeans and T-shirt, he was grinning at the noise on the other side of the door.

  Noah. Here.

  She glanced at her watch and gasped. Ten! She’d slept and slept.

  A first sign of pregnancy was often weariness.

  Her hand flew instinctively to her belly. She was pregnant. She was still pregnant!

  And her baby’s father was standing at her front door.

  It was no use pretending she wasn’t home when Daisy was making mad dashes to her bedroom, to the door, to the bedroom, to the door, yipping in excitement. She shoved her feet into flip-flops, grabbed her glasses, then glanced at the mirror as she passed to check that her PJs were vaguely respectable. Her hair was a tousled mess. Her eyes looked too big for her face. She needed a shower, a hairbrush and some decent make-up.

  She had time for none of them. Noah was waiting. She opened the door, Daisy launched herself up into his arms—a leap she was getting better and better at—and Noah was smiling right at her.

  What was there in that to make a woman catch her breath? Honestly, she needed to get a grip.

  ‘Good morning, Dr Blair.’

  ‘G-good morning,’ she managed. Then, a trifle defensively because he was standing there looking cool, collected and gorgeous and she was in her PJs, she added a rider. ‘It’s Sunday. People are allowed to sleep in on Sunday.’

  ‘Unless it’s a medical emergency.’

  ‘Is there a medical emergency?’ She couldn’t see it in his body language.

  ‘Sort of,’ he said. ‘I’ve decided you may be deficient in Vitamin D. It’s therefore my job as your consultant surgeon to remedy that situation.’

  ‘Since when have you been my consultant surgeon?’

  ‘Am I a surgeon?’

  ‘I... Yes.’

  ‘And do you consult me for medical advice?’

  ‘Of course, but—’

  ‘Then I’m your consultant surgeon.’ His smile widened. ‘And Mrs Rowbotham, as our consultant housekeeper, concurs. There’s nothing happening at the hospital that Rob can’t cover. We still need to be within cooee, but that can be arranged. Daisy spent a very boring day yesterday and our consultant oldies...’

  ‘Our consultant oldies?’

  ‘We consult widely,’ he said smoothly. ‘The residents of Currawong Nursing Home agree. You have a unanimous diagnosis. Danger of Vitamin D level dropping. Dog boredom. And the prescription is simple. My backpack is therefore loaded with Mrs Rowbotham’s finest culinary efforts. Also beach towels, sun screen, flippers, snorkels and masks. In case you hadn’t noticed yet, the day is glorious, and we have a task in hand.’

  She was struggling to get her head around what he was saying.

  She was struggling to get her head around the way he was smiling at her.

  ‘A...task?’

  ‘Agate,’ he said.

  She blinked. ‘Agate? What...?’

  ‘Moonlight Bluff. You must know it.’

  She did know Moonlight Bluff. She’d investigated when she’d first moved here. It was a strip of coastline a couple of miles south of the town, where the cliffs rose steeply to make the beach almost inaccessible. But there were steps down, steep and narrow, carved into the rock by some long-ago person with time on his hands, and skill. Once at the bottom you needed to wade into the cove where it was said you could find agate. If you were lucky.

  ‘Did you know you can find agate there?’ he said.

  ‘I had heard that,’ she conceded. ‘At least...gemstones.’

  ‘The agate’s harder to find,’ he conceded. ‘The rocks have been pretty much picked over by centuries of fossickers. The word is that the best stones are to be found three quarters of the way up the steps when everyone’s on their last gasp and ready to dump their loads just to get to the top. But I checked them out. They’re okay, but nothing special.’

  ‘Damned by faint praise.’ She was feeling...totally disconcerted. She was still in her pyjamas.

  He was still smiling at her.

  ‘The locals make a fuss of them and who am I to argue? But, Addie, I’ve been diving around there...’

  ‘Diving.’

  ‘I swim,’ he said, almost apologetically. ‘The rock formations make diving a pleasure.’

  ‘You carry your gear down those steps?’

  ‘In my last life I was a mountain goat, bounding from peak to peak, so what’s a few steps in this life? And once you’re down it’s magic. If you swim out around the headland the rock pools are stunning.’ He paused as if a hiccup to his plans had suddenly interfered with his vision. ‘You can swim?’

  ‘I can.’ Her response sounded ridiculously cautious.

  ‘There you go, then. You’re never more than a few metres from being able to stand up, and the sea today is mill-pond calm. And where I’m talking about... Agates, Addie. Black gold.’

  ‘Black gold?’ She was pretty much discombobulated.

  ‘Okay, they’re just gemstones,’ he conceded. ‘But they’re beautiful. I saw them a few weeks ago. They’re not everywhere but if you search the bottom at the far end of the cove you can find them. Tiny pieces of glossy black. Some have white lines, swirls, the most intricate patterns embedded. They’re created by ancient volcanoes from liquefied silica. Agate’s normally green, blue or amber. The black’s rare and it’s right on our doorstep.’

  She was still confused but starting to be caught up in his enthusiasm. ‘You found it.’

  ‘I did.’

  ‘But you didn’t collect it?’

  ‘Why would I?’ He spread his hands. ‘The beach has mostly been picked clean and I had no reason to take any. But this morning...’ His face changed again and suddenly he was serious.

  ‘Addie, it’s a special day,’ he said softly. ‘It’s the morning after you discove
red you were pregnant. You should have something to remember this weekend. I thought...if we could find a few stones, maybe we could have a stone set in a ring for you. And maybe we could make some into a bracelet or a signet ring for...for whoever might come along...’

  She looked at his face. He was smiling again—sort of—but behind the smile she saw doubts. Fear?

  Fear that she’d say no, that she’d walk inside and slam the door, closing him out from this pregnancy? This baby?

  Closing him out from sharing, as he’d been shut off from Sophie?

  This was his need, she thought. It wasn’t hers, so that was okay.

  Black agate... She’d seen it, polished to high lustre, and she’d seen stones with white hearts.

  If they could find it...

  ‘What do you think, Addie?’ he asked, and she knew the decision was all hers.

  ‘We could get back to the hospital in an emergency?’

  ‘Rob and Cliff are covering for us, but we could. We’ll take the car.’

  ‘But all those steps...’

  ‘I can carry you if necessary, yodelling at the same time. I told you, mountain goat fits my job description.’

  ‘Do mountain goats yodel?’ She choked on laughter, but then fell silent. He let her be while she formed an answer. As if he knew this decision was about more than stones.

  This wasn’t just about finding an agate or spending the day at the beach. This was about so much more...

  Sharing.

  They really should have some sort of relationship, she told herself. As long as it didn’t involve need, it should be okay.

  ‘I think,’ she said at last, and finally she managed a smile, ‘that Daisy and I would love it. And I also think...isn’t it lucky I bought new bathers?’

  * * *

  Noah might describe himself as a mountain goat but Daisy outshone him. What obstacle was a hundred or so steps? The pup hared straight down, then up again, down and up, almost pleading with them to go faster.

  But Noah was carrying a pack and he was walking with Addie. There was no way he was going faster.

  Once upon a time he’d read that gentlemen should precede ladies down stairs, to catch them if they fell. It made sense, but Addie had headed down in front regardless. She seemed steady. She seemed safe. And if he’d been in front he couldn’t have watched her bouncy curls, her gorgeous legs in her cute shorts, the way she stooped to hug Daisy whenever the pup reached them on one of her loops, the way Addie’s body language said she was out to enjoy herself.

  He thought of the day she’d returned to the hospital with her brand-new suitcase, her brand-new puppy and her brand-new attitude. She was a woman prepared to take on the world.

  This pregnancy could knock it out of her. If something happened...

  But nothing was happening today. Please.

  They reached the base of the steps. Here was another reason why this place was generally deserted. The steps ended at a line of rocks, with no sand. To reach the cove itself you needed to wade around a rocky outcrop. But Addie obviously knew. She practically bounced down the last few steps, kicking off her sandals, then hauling off her T-shirt and shorts before she hit the water.

  But not before he’d seen her bikini...

  Of course it was a bikini—a New Version of Addie bikini. Skimpy, pert, bright crimson with white polka dots.

  She beamed and stretched, holding her arms up as if to embrace the sun.

  He believed he stopped. What man wouldn’t have?

  She took his breath away.

  ‘Come on, slowcoach, the sea’s waiting,’ she called, and he gathered most of his wits and headed down the last few steps.

  ‘Sunscreen,’ he growled, because that was a practical thing to say and a guy had to mask his emotions somehow.

  ‘Already on,’ she told him. ‘I’m a woman prepared.’ And then she hesitated and her smile grew almost teasing. ‘Or usually prepared. Apart from one major slip-up.’

  The pregnancy.

  ‘Was it a slip-up?’ he asked without thinking.

  Her smile faded. ‘You still suspect I planned things?’ That was an out-of-character snap. ‘It takes two to tango and it was just as much your fault as mine.’ But then she shook her head. ‘Nope. I’m not thinking that. It was no one’s fault. A fault means dire consequences and right now there don’t seem to be any dire consequences at all. I’m not even morning sick.’

  ‘It’s might be too early.’

  ‘Don’t you dare be a killjoy.’ She was suddenly bossy. ‘Let’s get Daisy around to the cove. Then get your swimming gear on and hit the water. I’ll see you in the deep end.’

  And she lifted Daisy into her arms and headed into the shallows, wading around the rocks and leaving him to follow.

  She’d dropped a sandal. He carried it with him, bemused.

  By the time he’d rounded the rocks she’d dumped Daisy and her clothes on the sand. She’d adjusted a pair of prescription swimming goggles. Then she’d bounced through the minnow waves until a larger wave loomed close.

  She flipped forward into a neat dive that told Noah she’d been swimming almost since before she could walk.

  Daisy swam valiantly out to join her, but she was a smart pup. There were seagulls to chase and seaweed to sniff—and the sea was big. She headed back in.

  And Noah was left...watching.

  The sun was on his face. The cove was deserted and the sea was a sapphire dream, calling him to swim now.

  Addie was treading water, waving. ‘What’s keeping you, slowcoach?’

  He needed to catch his breath.

  He took a couple of moments more, just to watch, as she started stroking strongly across the bay.

  And then...

  What’s keeping you?

  Nothing.

  * * *

  Addie was a fine swimmer. There’d been a public pool near her childhood home and she’d spent summer vacations enjoying it. She was therefore confident in the water, but Noah... Noah was something else. He dived into the oncoming waves and disappeared, the way a sleek seal would hunt for fish. When he appeared again he was further out, treading water, smiling.

  And, oh, that smile...

  ‘Race to warm up?’ he demanded, and she had to catch her breath before she could answer.

  ‘I saw you dive. I’m not dumb enough to race without a handicap,’ she managed. ‘So... To the side of the cove and back, ten times for you, seven for me.’

  ‘Are you kidding? I watched you swim.’

  ‘Eight, then,’ she conceded. ‘Ready, set, go.’

  And she put her head down and swam, hard.

  The water was clear and crystal clean. The bottom was sandy, with tiny fish darting out of their shadows. She’d normally be entranced. She was...sort of entranced but maybe not by fish.

  For a while she thought he’d beat her. He did three laps while she struggled to get two. But then he slowed.

  Not because he was exhausted, though. He swam...with her? He dropped back to pace her, swimming alongside her with strong, easy strokes that told her he could go twice as fast if he wished.

  He obviously didn’t wish. After those first laps he matched himself to her. Every time her hand sliced the surface of the water, so did his. His body wasn’t close enough to touch but close enough so she could feel the wash of him, so she was aware of him.

  Entranced didn’t begin to describe it.

  She knew why she’d gone to bed with this man. It hadn’t been a moment of madness. There was something about him... Some irresistible attraction...

  It was almost as if...he was part of her?

  Okay, that was a crazy thing to think and it wasn’t exactly helpful, given the resolutions she’d made last night.

  But a woman could fantasise...

  A woman
shouldn’t, she told herself severely, trying to get her head to focus on her swimming. A woman would be very, very stupid to do any such thing.

  But the matching of strokes was doing her head in.

  She paused and trod water and Noah checked and did the same. ‘Problem?’

  ‘Just checking Daisy,’ she told him, searching the shore. There was no need. Daisy was chasing seagulls, who seemed to have nothing better to do than to take off and land, over and over, forcing Daisy to run like a madcap.

  ‘You just want a break,’ Noah teased.

  ‘Yeah, like there’s a chance I might win if I cheat,’ she retorted. ‘I could double your handicap and still lose.’

  ‘You wouldn’t lose.’ He smiled at her. ‘Anyone less of a loser than you I have yet to meet.’

  ‘Oh, bleah.’ She shook her head in disgust. ‘Did you get that out of some guy manual—lines for a pick-up? In case you’ve forgotten, the pick-up’s already happened.’

  ‘I didn’t pick you up, Addie,’ he said, smile fading. ‘You know that. And this is no seduction scene.’

  ‘It feels like it.’

  ‘You think I want to seduce you?’

  ‘It might be the other way around,’ she admitted, deciding she might as well be honest. ‘And that...scares me.’

  ‘There’s no reason why it should.’ And he lifted his hand and touched her cheek.

  She flinched.

  Why? She wanted his touch. She knew she did.

  It did scare her, though.

  Why?

  Because it was for all the wrong reasons, she told herself. He thought she needed him.

  She would not be that woman. She shook her head, flicking his hand away.

  ‘Where are these agates?’ she asked, more roughly than she’d intended.

  ‘So the race is off?’ He was watching her. Like a shark watched fish? Prey? Oh, for heaven’s sake, she told herself, get a grip. This was a nice guy, doing the right thing, with no hidden agenda. Yes, there was a bit of sexual attraction. It had gotten out of hand and there were consequences but that didn’t mean it had to continue. Practical Addie was down there somewhere. She just had to dredge her up and send hormonal, wanting-to-jump-this-guy Addie back to where she’d come from.