by AJ Wolf
Rosa is biologically his, but she looks nothing like him, thank fuck. Raymond is nice and all, but he is one ugly fuck. Instead, she looks just like our mamma. Olive skin, dark hair, dark eyes; their only difference is a deep brown birthmark that covers Rosa’s entire right shoulder blade. Mamma’s Italian genes clearly run strong, because besides having my father’s blue eyes and dyed silver hair, I’m also a clone of her.
Mamma smacks the back of Rosa’s hand the next time she reaches for a veggie, and I smile at her. Crunching the carrot she was able to snag for me before. “Jessie is eating carrots, and you’re not smacking him.” She grumbles out, rubbing her hand as she goes back to her stool.
I pull out my phone, holding my carrot to her just to snatch it back when she reaches for it, laughing at her scoff. “He only has a carrot because you stole it for him.” Mamma says over her shoulder.
Scrolling through my phone, I pull up a contact, typing out a quick message. Sliding my phone back into my pocket, a smile pulls at my lips.
It’s time to get my girl back.
Pushing Donatello’s hand off my thigh for the third time, I roll my eyes at his groan. “I have to finish this assignment. I’ve been putting it off for days already.”
His fingers slowly start creeping along my ankle, thumb brushing along the bone while his lips and scruff start tickling up the outside of my thigh. “An hour won’t kill you.”
Without looking, I lightly flick his fingers from my leg, shifting to sit criss cross applesauce and adjusting my laptop in my lap. “You can also wait an hour.” My response earns me another dramatic groan, and I smile to myself.
“Vita Mia.” His voice rumbles against the knee pressed against his chest, and I suck my lips between my teeth at the tone. Horny Bastardo knows how to distract me. “I’ll help you finish after.”
“No.” He tries to tug the computer from my lap, but I hold it in place, turning to raise a brow in his direction. His tongue runs over his teeth as he matches my look with one of his own.
“Rock, paper, scissors.” He talks over my solid “No” smiling at me. “I win, and you sit on my face.” He laughs at my expression, the sound working to weaken my resolve all on its own. “Come on, baby, what do you have to lose?”
He’s moved to sit in front of me, knees resting on the floor, so he’s eye level with me on the couch. His palms run over my knees and up my thighs, russet reds on mine as he waits for my answer. “You’re such a bad influence.” Setting my laptop off to the side, I narrow my eyes at his pleased hum. “Promise you won’t cheat?”
“Swear.” He uncrosses my legs, wrapping them around his back before tugging my face toward his smirk with a hand on the back of my head. He gives me a quick peck on the lips, nipping my chin as I sit back. I roll my eyes at him, bringing my hand forward to play his game.
“Rock, paper, scissors.” We say in unison, the words dripping from his honey voice sliding past his lips like he’s already won.
“Ha! Scissors cut paper, baby.” I yell in victory, adding a sugary sweet baby to the end of my gloat.
His face twists into a slight pout, his fingers dropping to dig into my hips. “You’re an incredibly poor sport.” His lips brush along my neck before I lean away from him, my phone chiming from the other side of the couch.
“None of that. I won, so you have to wait.” I pull away from him, stretching to grab my phone. Laying on my stomach, I open the message seeing it’s from Jessie.
Dinner at eight?
Donatello grabs my ankle, lightly biting the inside of my thigh, and I jerk, twisting onto my back to frown up at his lopsided grin. “Jessie is in town. He wants to meet for dinner.” I tell him, watching as he crawls over me. I can tell by the subtle twist of his lips he’s annoyed by the information even though he won’t say it directly.
“Shouldn’t you be working on your assignment and not texting?” He kisses a spot on my belly where my shirt has already risen, pushing the fabric a few inches higher with his nose. “We have plans anyway.”
“What plans?” I pull his face off my skin, lightly tugging the hair at his roots as he smiles at me. Cheeky ass man. “Stop it.”
“You’re going to be too busy screaming into the sheets while I eat your pretty pink pussy to go out.” He uses his strength against me, pulling from my hands to bite at my nipple through my top.
“Donatello!” I wiggle beneath him, laughing when he grabs my sides, fingers digging in just enough to make it tickle. “I won! Leave me alone.”
He slowly sits back, frowning at me as I sit and grab my phone that fell out of my hand. “You’re seriously not going to let me fuck you right now?”
I most definitely want him to fuck me right now, but I really do need to get my work done. “No.” It’s said with a laugh, his pout tugging at my resolve. I wiggle my fingers, palm up. “Please hand me my laptop.” He’s grumbling under his breath at me, but grabs the computer, setting it on my lap as I type out a response to Jessie.
It’s been months since I’ve actually seen him, and I miss him. A lot. It’s always when things are no longer in front of us that we appreciate them the most, and I’ve had months to notice how much I appreciate him. I was too lost to see what I had, too consumed in someone else. But that’s fine. I have Donatello like I always wanted.
“You’re going to dinner then?” He asks, russet reds flicking between my eyes.
“I am. I miss hanging out with Jessie.”
He reaches out, thumb brushing along my lower lip, lightly pulling it down before he stands. “Okay, Vita Mia.”
I watch as he walks toward the door, sitting on the bench in the entryway to lace his boots. “Are you going somewhere?”
He grabs his jacket, coming back to grin at me. “Finish your work. I’ll be back soon.” Gripping my chin, he pulls me up for a kiss, dropping me back into the cushions with a crooked smile to combat my confused frown.
“Okay.” I finally say after a pause, watching his back move toward the door. “I thought you didn’t have to do anything today?” It’s asked as he opens the door, his face only half turned my way when he answers.
“I won’t be long, baby.”
I stare at the closed door, gut pinching as I listen to his car pull from the drive. Donatello has been nothing but amazing since we’ve become official, but a few months of being a perfect boyfriend doesn’t erase all the damage he did before. It’s going to take me awhile to trust him completely and not feel like he’s keeping secrets every time he walks out the door. Especially when he has random errands and house calls pop up out of thin air like this. Old habits die hard, and Donatello has many I’d like to break.
Adjusting against the couch, I try to focus back on my assignment. Regardless of what Donatello is doing, this actually does need to get finished if I don’t want to fail the class, and that’s not a path I’ll willingly take again.
A low whistle from behind me draws my attention, and I pause on the boardwalk to see Jessie sitting on a bench I’ve just passed. His silver hair is flopped over one eye, hiding one of his baby blues from me as he smiles, tilting his chin toward my outfit. “New dress, Laney Girl?”
“Only the best for you.” I have on a simple cotton tank dress and sneakers, nothing about it is all that special, but his lingering gaze says it just might be. He stands as I get closer, lifting a hand to push his hair back. I wrap my arms around him before he’s even finished, pressing my face into the front of his shirt to breathe him in. “I missed you.”
I feel his chin rest on the top of my head, his arms coming around to hug me back. “I always miss you.”
Pulling from him, I look away, the moment feeling too intimate for just friends. I love Donatello. I’ll always love Donatello, but I know I would have loved Jessie like that also if he hadn’t let me go. He was there to pick me up when no one else was, in a way no one else could. It’s hard not to blur the lines with someone you’ve already shared everything with, who’s seen you at your worst and
likes you anyway.
“How long are you staying this time?” I start walking, and he follows, his elbow bumping into my arm as he tucks his hands into his pockets.
“A while. I’m moving back here for work.” I knew his family was in New York from what he’s told me before, but I didn’t realize he was actually from the city until recently. It’ll be nice having him back longer than a week at a time. I doubt Donatello will agree, though. He despises mine and Jessie’s relationship. Not that I blame him. I imagine I’d have a difficult time getting along with someone I knew Donatello had slept with, let alone someone who was as close to him as Jessie and I are.
“You’re moving here? Where are you staying now?” I don’t know why I’m asking. It’s not like he could come stay at Donatello’s if he were stuck in a hotel right now or something. I change my question instead, “What kind of work? Don’t you work in Alabama still?”
He chuckles at my shift, side eyeing me as we walk. “You’re nosy.”
“I like to know things. It’s only nosy if I’m asking about things I shouldn’t be a part of. Are you hiding something, Jessie?” Raising my brow at him, I laugh when he bumps into me, making me stumble sideways.
“Oops, my bad.” He smiles at my fake glare, pulling my arm, so I move in front of him instead of running into a lady walking our way. “Sorry, Ma’am, my friend here is a little clumsy.”
I scoff, and he laughs, his fingers pushing into my lower back to get me walking again. “Are you going to tell me what you do for work or not?”
“Family business.” He says into my ear, the smell of fresh tobacco wafting off his skin as his chest brushes against my back.
Waving his face from my neck I pull away from him, turning to face him, walking backward. “You never said anything about your family owning a business in the city before.” I narrow my eyes on him, “Are you keeping secrets?”
He smirks, his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip before he says anything. “You’re being nosy again.”
Spinning back around, I flip him off over my shoulder, smiling to myself at his laugh. “You’re supposed to be my BEST friend. You should tell me everything anyway.”
He comes beside me, looping his arm over my shoulder to pull me into his side. “I am.” I eye him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. “Now, what are we eating?”
“You asked me to meet you, you decide.”
“How about…” He leans down, closer to my ear like he’s telling me a secret, eyeing a man leaning against a giant slushie stand that’s looking our way. “We get subs and sit on the beach while you tell me about the stars.”
“Sounds like a plan, Stan.” His eyes are still on the man when I look at him, and I tap his chest, making him look over at me. “Do you know him?”
He smiles, ignoring my question. “Laney Girl, if you don’t know my name by now, I don’t think we can be friends.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“My name is not Stan.”
I shake my head, pursing my lips through my smile. “You’re dumb.”
After getting our subs, we find a spot on the beach, just far enough away that it’s private, but close enough we can still see. “When do you start work?” I ask around a mouthful, eyeing Jessie next to me. He never elaborated on what he was doing, and that feels odd to me. What could he possibly be doing that he wouldn’t want to tell me? I couldn’t care less what he does for work.
“I already did.” He gestures toward the sky with his head, his eyes catching on my folded legs before meeting my gaze. “I thought you were telling me about the stars.”
With his face turned my way, his back is to the light, and his face is cast in shadows, hiding the blue of his eyes from me. I stare at him, letting myself sink into the comfort of the moment, smiling when he wiggles his brows at my silence. “What do you want to hear about?” I finally ask, wrapping what’s left of my sub to set off to the side.
“Anything. Everything. I just like hearing you talk.”
I smile at his remark, rolling my head back to look at the sky. “How about a story about the moon?” I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t look, keeping my eyes up.
“Perfect.” It’s a deep rumble that vibrates in my chest, warming the spots I only have for him, the heat of his fingers creeping along my skin where they rest near my thigh.
“The moon once had a lover named Keukuatsheu, and every night they would walk the skies together.” I look over at Jessie, smiling before looking back to the stars. “But there was another spirit that was jealous of their love and wanted the moon for himself. So he tricked Keukuatsheu, who left the spirit world in the shape of a wolf, not knowing that he could never come back.” I pause, feeling Jessie’s fingers brush along my leg. “Every night, Keukuatsheu, the wolf, looks up to the sky to see his moon and howls her name. Crying because he loves her, because he misses her, because every night he gets to see her, but no matter how hard he tries, she’s forever out of reach. Forever in his heart but not in his life.”
There’s a silence that stretches between us once I’m done, the lapping of the waves almost too loud for the moment. My innocent story hitting a chord that is still singing a melody I’m not ready to hear. One I’ve already memorized but can no longer sing. “Apparently, I should have stuck with a story about the stars.” I fake a smile, facing Jessie, breath catching in my rib cage when his thumb brushes along the bottom of my lip, just barely tracing the outline.
My fingers dig into the sand, my desperate attempt to reel things back to a manageable level. “Absolutely stunning.” It rumbles out of him like before, the words a grumbled sound of perfection, its vibrations shaking the chords in my chest.
“The story?” I know the answer, but my stupid mouth asks anyway. The thumping of my heart belaying what I already know, begging to hear an answer we shouldn’t care to hear.
“You.” It’s an aching kind of whisper. The kind that tugs at the loose strings of your heart, tightens a lump in your throat that you have to pull out with your teeth just to breathe.
Pulling my face from his touch, I’m immediately seized by the chill in the air, stomach heavy like I swallowed rocks. “Donatello is probably wondering when I’ll be home.”
Jessie’s face turns to stone at my words, his jaw ticking as he turns to grab our trash. I have no reason to feel guilty, but I do, hating the tension suddenly clutching my ankles like dead weights. “Do you need a ride home?” His face is still cold, but he smiles through it.
“No, I drove myself.” He nods, and I reach for my own trash, pulling it from his hand with a smile when he doesn’t willingly give it to me. “But you can walk me to my car.”
“I guess I could do that.” I roll my eyes at him, feet sinking in the sand as I make my way along the beach in the direction I parked. His stare is heavy on my skin, my attempt at changing the mood only slightly successful.
“You’re really going to be in the city for a while?” I ask over my shoulder, pretending I didn’t see Jessie’s eyes on my ass before they raised to mine.
“I am. You can’t get rid of me that easy, Laney Girl.”
“I don’t want to get rid of you.” Coming up to a trash can, I throw my stuff away, watching as Jessie does the same. “You’re the one who tried to get rid of me.”
I don’t know why I said it. Why I’m suddenly determined to chew on old words and issues. Maybe my insecurities from earlier in the day are still dragging along behind me or the fact that we never really had a real conversation about what happened, or maybe even just my sad story about the moon. I don’t know, but the longer I stand in the dark, by the trash can at the beach, I feel the need to dig and pick at old wounds that still haven’t fully healed.
He stares at me, a slow blink the only movement on his face. It feels like a decade before he speaks, my chest tightening at the words before they’re even out of his mouth. “I never tried to get rid of you, Delaney. I did what I had to do.”<
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“Do you think… “I pause, looking down at my hands instead of his face. I’m making us have this conversation for no logical explanation, and I can’t even get my own questions out. “Do you think we’d be together right now if you hadn’t broken up with me?”
“If you’re asking if I think you’d love me instead of Donatello, then yes.” He steps closer to me, his body blocking out the light coming from the small lamp above. “If you’re asking if I think I’d love you, then yes. Yes, to both.” He lifts my chin, making me meet his gaze. “The real question you should be asking yourself, Laney Girl, is why the fuck you chose him over me.”
I stutter at his response. The pads of his fingers burning into my skin. “You left me.”
His hand drops, and he takes a fraction of a step backward, hands tucking into his pockets. “I did what I had to do.” He says it like the words are bitter, tasting of orange peel and ash, repeating his earlier statement. “Why are we doing this, Laney? Are you not happy with Donatello? Did you not get the fairytale ending you were dreaming of?”
“I…“ I can tell he’s angry with me, but I don’t have an answer he’s looking for, and it makes me hesitate. What the fuck is wrong with me. “I don’t know why I brought it up. I love Donatello.” And it’s true. I do. My heart sings for his, I’m happy with him, with how things have developed between us.
So why am I doing this?
Based on his expression, that’s not the answer he was hoping to hear, and the knowledge lodges itself in my throat, suffocating and painful to swallow. Why does knowing he wants me to be unhappy with Donatello hurt my heart almost as much as thinking he’s happy for us?
I can feel unwanted tears burning the back of my eyes, but I keep them at bay, pinching my dress in my fingers, looking at the sand while I try to figure out how to fix the mess I knowingly made but wasn’t ready to deal with. Without saying anything, Jessie steps forward, wrapping me up to pull against his chest. His thumbs brush along my temple and lower back as he cradles me to him, resting his cheek against the top of my head. “Why are you crying?”