Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

  "Keira believes the girl in the photo is Jill Harper, Theresa Harper's daughter."

  "Harper?" he muttered, his brows knitting together. "That name sounds familiar."

  "That's because Theresa Harper was in charge of the camp dining hall when we were there. We called her the Dragon Lady, because she was always spitting mad at someone, often you."

  "Right," he said with a grin. "I remember her. She did not like my opinion of the mashed potatoes."

  "Which were always lumpy."

  "She's the mother of the girl in the photo?"

  "I think so, but I need to talk to her. She lives on the north shore. Keira got her address for me. I just have to decide what I want to do."

  "What you want to do?" he echoed. "You're going to go there and ask her if Jill is your mother."

  She sucked in a quick breath. "You make it sound easy."

  "It's not easy, but it's necessary, and I'm going with you. In fact, I'll drive."

  "I don't know, Zach."

  "I have time, and I owe you a favor for helping me with Helen."

  She hesitated. It would be nice to have support. But bringing Zach along was the opposite of putting distance between them.

  "Come on, Gianna. What's the problem?" he asked.

  "There's more than one actually."

  "Well, give me the first one."

  "There's a chance that we'll get to Theresa's house and I'll chicken out, and this whole trip could be a waste of time."

  He nodded. "If you want to bail, I won't judge you."

  "Really? You won't encourage me to get past my fear?"

  "I didn't say I wouldn't encourage you; I said I wouldn't judge you on whatever decision you make. But this is ultimately up to you, Gianna. What else are you worried about?"

  "You."

  He gazed back at her with his warm green eyes. "Nothing will ever happen that you don't want to happen."

  "That's the problem. When you're around, I want things to happen that shouldn't."

  He smiled. "As far as I'm concerned, we're just going for a drive, one that could potentially change the course of your life, but just a drive."

  "Thanks for that added bit of pressure."

  "My truck is right here. Are we going?"

  "Yes, but if I decide not to go through with it, you will keep your mouth shut."

  "Deal. But I think you have more courage than you think."

  "We're going to find out."

  It was another beautiful summer afternoon and as they drove the winding two-lane highway around the west side of the lake, Gianna rolled her window down and let the warm air blow through the truck. She was nervous about what was to come. And she wasn't sure she had nearly as much courage as Zach thought she had.

  Was she really ready to change her life in a profound way?

  That question ran around in her head for a good twenty minutes.

  Zach seemed happy enough to let her wallow in her thoughts, but eventually she needed a distraction. "Did you see Hailey today?"

  "No. I haven't seen her since Monday at the park. I talked to her last night before she went to bed, but it wasn't an easy conversation. She kept asking me when she was going to see me again, and I had no answer for her. When I got Helen back on the phone, she said to call her today, and she would speak to me about another visit. But she didn't answer my call today. I left her three messages."

  "What do you think is going on?"

  "I think she doesn't want to tell Ron she has changed her mind about me, but he needs to be on board, or this won't work."

  "Have you threatened to tell Ron about what she did?"

  "I'm trying to avoid any more threats, but it might come to that."

  "I wish I could do more to help."

  "Thanks. I just have to be patient, one day at a time. It's damn hard to do."

  "I know."

  "Did you tell your mom about Theresa Harper and her daughter Jill?" he asked, flinging her a quick look.

  "No. I thought about it. I spoke to my mom earlier today, but I couldn't get the words out. And she was busy with work, so it didn't seem like the right time."

  "I walked by your parents' store the other day. It was packed with people."

  "Summer is their busiest season with all the lake activities. They rent boats, kayaks, Jet Skis, canoes, paddleboards and they sell all the gear needed for a great day on the lake."

  "We should take a boat out sometime. I haven't been on the lake since camp."

  "You'd enjoy it."

  "Maybe this weekend."

  "Maybe," she said, not wanting to make any more plans at the moment. "Adam is taking a big crowd out on the Fourth of July. I'm sure you and Hunter will be invited."

  "That would be cool."

  "Nothing better than seeing the fireworks from the water."

  "I'll bet."

  She gazed out at the view, tall trees framing beautiful images of the lake as they drove along the bluff high above the water. "Sometimes I forget how big the lake is."

  "I've never driven all the way around it. In fact, I've never even been to the north shore."

  "It's quieter, especially in the summer, when there's no snow. Most people who live there love the access to the north shore ski slopes. While the beaches are still beautiful, there aren't as many restaurants or shops, although there is a great steakhouse that my father loves. We often go there on his birthday, although I haven't actually been here on his birthday in a few years."

  "Do you ever think about moving back permanently?"

  "I've been thinking about it more often since I came home. I do miss my friends, the town, the feeling of community. I always thought I needed to be in a bigger city doing bigger things, but maybe that's not really what's going to make me happy." She sighed. "Honestly, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I keep making plans, but they just don't work, and then I have to change them."

  "Maybe you don't plan; you just live. Roll the dice, see where the numbers fall."

  "That's a good way to end up broke," she said with a smile.

  He grinned back at her. "You can always freelance or paint…any chance there's some color on that canvas yet?"

  "No. I'm still not feeling inspired."

  "Maybe it's the apartment. No offense, but it's kind of depressing. Why don't you go outside? In fact, why don't you go up to the camp? You can set up your easel in the meadow by that quiet cove, the way you used to."

  She smiled at that memory. "That is a beautiful place, but I'm sure Hunter wouldn't want me wandering around up there."

  "And I'm certain he wouldn't care at all. Think about it."

  "I will." She sat up a little straighter as they turned off the main highway, her thoughts moving ahead to Theresa and what was coming next.

  "According to the GPS, we're four minutes away," Zach said.

  "Four minutes to decide," she muttered, tapping her fingers restlessly on her thighs. Then she picked up her bag and pulled out the photo. Jill Harper felt so familiar, and the locket was just like hers. Was she really going to come this far and not ask the question?

  As Zach pulled up in front of a small A-frame house in a modest neighborhood of single-family homes on extra-large lots, she drew in a shaky breath. Her heart was pounding against her chest, her palms were sweaty, and when she saw the silver coupe in the driveway, she had a difficult time catching her breath.

  She looked at Zach, feeling a wave of panic. "Can I really do this?"

  "Do you want me to go with you?"

  "I don't know. I should do this alone, right? She's my mother."

  "Theresa Harper isn't your mother. She might be your grandmother, but not your mom."

  "Jill could be here, too."

  "She could be. I'm happy to wait in the truck. It's your call. Everything about this is your choice. I said I wouldn't judge, and I won't."

  She licked her lips, the photo clutched in her hand. Then she turned her gaze to the house, but she couldn't seem to make herse
lf move.

  "You can do it," Zach said encouragingly. "The first step is the hardest. Just open the door. Then stand on the sidewalk. Small goals."

  She opened the door, then turned back to him. "Will you come with me?"

  "Of course." He got out of the truck and came around to her side, extending his hand. "Ready?"

  "No, but I feel like it's now or never." She took his hand and stepped onto the sidewalk. They walked up to the door together, and she forced herself to press the bell.

  The moment it took for Theresa Harper to answer the door felt like an eternity and a thousand doubts ran through her mind, each one making her want to run.

  But then the door swung open, and she found herself face-to-face with the woman they'd once called the Dragon Lady. Theresa Harper's red hair was now streaked with gray. Her face was round and pale, and she'd put on a few pounds in the last fourteen years. But her dark eyes were still as cold and irritated as they'd always been when confronted with someone she didn't want to talk to.

  "I'm not buying anything," Theresa said briskly.

  "Uh, we're not selling anything," she said, stumbling over the words.

  "Then what do you want?" Theresa's gaze darted from her to Zach, and then she frowned. "Do I know you?"

  "Zach Barrington," he said.

  "I remember that name. You were a troublemaker at camp. Tom had to kick you out." She turned to Gianna. "And you—you were the girl who accused him of stealing something."

  "Yes, I'm Gianna Campbell."

  "What are you both doing here?"

  At Theresa's unfriendly glare, she found it difficult to find the words. "Uh, I'm trying to find someone, and I thought you might be able to help."

  "I can't see how. I'm busy."

  "Wait," she said desperately, as Theresa started to close the door. She pulled out the photograph. "Is this girl your daughter, Jill?"

  Theresa didn't even look at the photo. "Why are you asking about Jill?"

  "Because she has a necklace very much like one I used to have—the one I got from my biological mother." She drew in a shaky breath, surprised she'd actually gotten the words out.

  "Where did you get this?" Theresa demanded.

  "It was in the boxes I picked up from the camp for my aunt's antiques store. Is this Jill? Did she have a baby when she was a teenager? A child she gave up for adoption? Was that baby me?" Now that she'd found her voice, she couldn't stop talking.

  Theresa's lips tightened as she met her gaze. "No. Jill didn't have a baby. I don't know who told you that. Jill was a good girl."

  Her heart fell at Theresa's words. "You're sure she didn't have a child?"

  "I would have known if she was pregnant. She was my only daughter. Whoever told you she had a baby was wrong. I'm sorry I can't help you." Theresa stepped back and shut the door.

  "What the hell?" Zach muttered.

  "It's not her," she said, staring at the door. "Jill isn't my mother." She turned to Zach. "The picture didn't mean anything."

  "I don't know, Gianna."

  "What don't you know? You heard what she said."

  "I did. I'm just not sure I believe her."

  "Why would she lie?"

  "I can think of a few reasons. Want me to ring the bell again?"

  She hesitated. "No. I don't think she'll suddenly change her answer. Let's go." She walked back to the truck, her mind racing as she got inside and fastened her seat belt.

  Zach made no attempt to start the engine, his worried gaze fixed on her.

  "You can drive," she said.

  "I don't think you should give up so easily."

  "What else can I do? Theresa probably won't answer the door again, and if we stay here too long, I wouldn't put it past her to call the police. I asked my questions. She gave me answers. They weren't the ones I wanted, but it is what it is." She felt overwhelmingly disappointed. She'd really thought down deep in her gut that she was connected to the girl in the picture.

  "You could go around Theresa," Zach said. "Find Jill. See if she has a different answer."

  "I wouldn't know where to start."

  "We'll figure it out together. The internet makes it easy to find people. And we have Jill's first and last name. We know who her mother is. We can find people who know both of them. Whisper Lake isn't that big."

  He made good points. "Do you think it's worth it, Zach? Shouldn't I take what Theresa said at face value? If she's determined to keep Jill and me apart, maybe I should respect that."

  "Why? This isn't between you and Theresa; it's between you and Jill. And, frankly, Theresa acted like she had something to hide. If she'd said it differently, maybe I would have believed her. But she was hostile and defensive, and she couldn't wait to get rid of us."

  "True. But even when she was just the Dragon Lady, she was hostile and defensive. I think it's her personality."

  "Only one way to find out."

  "But do I have the right? Theresa could have lied because she's worried I'll disrupt Jill's life."

  "Possibly. That's why you need to find out more about Jill."

  "If she's married with kids and doesn't want anyone to know about the child she gave up, I need to respect that. I don't want to hurt anyone."

  "I know you don't."

  She blew out a breath. "I feel so frustrated and restless…this was a wasted trip."

  "No, it wasn't. You just have to change directions, that's all."

  "Let's go home."

  He started the engine and drove down the street. They'd only gone a few blocks when she realized the last thing she wanted to do was sit in the truck for the next forty-five minutes. She had too much adrenaline coursing through her body.

  "I've changed my mind," she said. "Can you turn right at the next light?"

  He shot her a questioning look but gave a nod. "Sure. Where are we going?"

  "I need to walk. There's a beach path along the lake. Do you mind? I can't sit right now."

  "No problem. I wouldn't mind a walk, either."

  A few minutes later, she directed Zach into a parking lot near a public beach. Then she jumped out of the truck and started walking. Zach caught up quickly with his long, athletic strides.

  They strolled along the lakeside path for a good forty minutes, the air losing its heat as the sun slipped over the mountains just before six. When her legs got tired and she ran out of breath, she left the path and flopped down on the sand a few feet from the water.

  Zach stretched out next to her. "I was wondering if we were going to walk all the way back to the south shore," he said lightly.

  "Sorry. I needed to burn off some emotion."

  "Understandable. I know you're disappointed."

  "Actually, I've gotten past disappointment."

  "Oh, yeah?" he asked a questioning look in his eyes. "Where are you at now?"

  "Determined to find Jill."

  "Good for you."

  "Jill might give me the same answer Theresa did, but the more I've thought about how Theresa acted, the more I think she was hiding something. And it's not uncommon for the mother of a teenage girl to hide her daughter's pregnancy, especially thirty years ago. Theresa might have been ashamed that Jill had gotten pregnant at sixteen."

  "More than likely."

  "Isn't it strange to think the Dragon Lady could be my grandmother? I hope Jill isn't like her."

  "But even if she is, you're determined," he reminded her.

  "I am. I've been so indecisive about this subject for years, but now I feel like I have clarity. I know what I need to do." She took a breath, then added, "Thanks for having my back today, Zach."

  "Happy to do it, but you are going to have to buy me dinner, because I'm starving, and it's a long drive back. I'm thinking that steakhouse you mentioned might be a good choice."

  "Jackson's is very good. I could go for a steak. But let's take a few more minutes. It's a nice evening, and we have the beach to ourselves."

  "I'm in no hurry. I think you should breat
he deep and let the lake work its healing magic."

  She did as he suggested, feeling better, calmer. "Good call. How do you always know what I need?"

  Her question came out far more seriously than she intended. Zach's gaze darkened. "We have an unquestionable connection, Gianna."

  "I know. No matter how much I want to deny it, there's something between us. In my mixed-up world where almost nothing makes sense, one thing does—you."

  "I'm surprised you're admitting that. You've been pushing me away since I pulled you out of the water."

  "Because I'm on a break. Because of all the mistakes I've made." As she gazed at his handsome face, a reckless wave of desire ran through her. "But I'm thinking about taking a break from my break."

  "Oh, yeah?" he asked softly.

  "Just a short one. Just enough time for…this." She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his. She'd meant the kiss to be quick, teasing, playful, but the heat of Zach's lips, the desire coursing through her turned it into so much more.

  In their need to get as close as possible, she tumbled onto her back, pulling Zach on top of her. She ran her hands under his shirt, loving the feel and the heat of his skin. She didn't care that she was getting sand in her hair or that there was an uncomfortable rock beneath her spine. All she could focus on was Zach.

  He filled her senses. He took over the night. Every breath was filled with the musky scent of his aftershave. Every touch took the heat higher.

  Finally, he lifted his head, his green eyes glittering in the twilight. He gazed down at her with so much emotion that her heart ached.

  He was looking at her. He was seeing her—the real her, not just the woman she was now, but the girl she used to be.

  She'd missed this connection, this very special, intense, one-of-a-kind connection.

  Every other guy in her past faded deep into the background.

  There was only Zach.

  Maybe it had always been him. Maybe he was the one she'd been looking for in everyone else.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Zach could look at Gianna forever. He'd thought that when he was sixteen, and he thought it even more now. Gianna's face had always been interesting—the curve of her brows, the tilt of her nose, the sweetness of her lips, and the stubbornness of her jaw. And her eyes were amazing—her beautiful brown eyes filled with gold sparks, that came alive when she was caught up in passion—for painting and for him.