Beauty from Ashes: Authors & Dancers Against Cancer Anthology

by Vera Quinn

  Robert was still worried about how the others would take his appearance. Damien had been with him every day during the process, to him the change wouldn’t be as drastic as it would be to those seeing him for the first time. He wasn’t sure how he could alleviate Robert’s stress about it.

  “Everyone is going to stare,” Robert said.

  They had been on the road three hours and still had a way to go.

  “Maybe. At first,” Damien answered. “But as soon as they understand, things will be fine.”

  “No, it won’t. Then the pity…”

  “Stop it!” Damien said.

  He pulled the car off the road at the next exit and parked in a gas station lot. He took Robert’s chin in his hand and forced him to look at Damien.

  “Just stop it. Robert, every person at this gathering loves you. They will be worried, yes, and it might show in their faces. But no one is going to pity you,” Damien said.

  Tears gathered but didn’t fall. Damien let go of Robert’s face as a tender smile crossed his lips.

  “They do care about me, don’t they?”

  Softer, Damien said, “Yes. Every single one of them. But not nearly as much as I do.”

  Damien kissed Robert, then told him to put his seat back and take a nap. Robert grabbed the pillow and a blanket from the back seat, pushed his seat back, covered up, and closed his eyes. It was only a few minutes after the car was moving again that Damien heard Robert’s soft snores.

  Peter must have been watching for them, because as soon as they pulled to a stop in front of Warfield Manor, the front door opened. He rushed down the steps to the passenger side of the car. Peter opened the door and helped Robert to stand. He was a little wobbly from sitting in the car for so long, but he wrapped his arms around Peter. Damien heard his deep sigh as he approached them.

  “God, I’m so glad to see you,” Peter said.

  “Peter don’t squeeze him too hard.” Damien laughed at his friend.

  “Oh. Oh,” he said letting Robert go. “I’m sorry, did I hug you too hard?”

  Robert laughed. “No. I’m fine. It’s good to see you too.”

  “Damn, you have lost weight,” Peter said, then slapped his hand over his mouth. “I mean… well… I… crap.”

  Robert started laughing, then grabbed his side. Damien reached around his waist and held on to him while he joined in the laughter.

  “He has, but his appetite is coming back and he’s getting stronger every day,” Damien said.

  “And, I can talk for myself,” Robert added, jabbing Damien in his ribs.

  Peter hugged both of them carefully, then grabbed the luggage from the trunk while Damien helped Robert inside.

  Sally was just as shocked at Robert’s physical change but had the good grace not to mention it. She kissed Robert’s cheek and took his arm, leading him into the parlor.

  “How about something to drink? Sweet tea? Lemonade?” she asked.

  “I’ll take a whiskey and then sweet tea,” he answered. “The doc said alcohol in moderation is okay. This will be my first in six months. I think I deserve it.”

  Peter poured the drinks while Sally took Damien upstairs to their room.

  “I hope this will be okay,” she said as she opened the door. “It’s one of the few with its own en suite. I thought that might be better for Robert.”

  “It’s fine and we’ll be very comfortable here,” Damien said as he pulled Sally into a hug. “You don’t know how good it is seeing everyone. Thank you for sharing your home with us.”

  Sally huffed at him as she pulled out of his embrace. “I’m going to go see what Winnie left for you. Does he have any special needs we should be aware of?”

  “Just light stuff is best at the moment. He’s been craving Winnie’s Christmas dinner, so I don’t think he wants to get sick before that.” Damien opened their suitcases and started putting things away.

  “Okay, see you downstairs. Oh, I wouldn’t leave him alone with Peter too long,” Sally giggled. “One might not be the limit on that drink.”

  Downstairs, Damien found Lily, Peter and Sally’s little girl, curled up under Robert’s arm. He was reading to her from a large book. He looked so happy, but Damien could see the telltale signs of weariness in his eyes. Sally popped in with a tray of food at that moment. Peter followed close behind with a pitcher of sweet tea.

  “Lily leave Robert alone and let him eat,” Sally said to the disappointment of her beautiful daughter. Lily grabbed a cookie off the tray and sat down beside her mother.

  Damien watched over Robert and was much pleased to see him eat nearly all of a ham and cheese sandwich. He even ate a Christmas cookie after Lily exclaimed that she’d made it just for him. It was only nine o’clock in the evening, but Damien could see that Robert was waning.

  “It was a long drive and I think it’s time we were turning in,” Damien said as he helped Robert to his feet.

  “And, it’s Lily’s bedtime too,” Peter added. “The next few days are going to be very busy. We’ll all need our rest.”

  “We might sleep in tomorrow, but we aren’t going anywhere. I promised Lily I’d read to her again tomorrow,” Robert said.

  “Robert’s a good reader,” Lily said. “He doesn’t get confused at the big words like Daddy does sometimes.”

  No one laughed out loud, but Peter’s face twisted up in a frown at his daughter and everyone else in the room.

  The next day was Christmas Eve and the same scenario played out each time a familiar face came to the door of the Warfield Manor and took in Robert’s new appearance. Marcus Drummond was the first to arrive on Christmas Eve.

  “I should have left yesterday. The traffic was horrendous in Atlanta. Both highways were backed up in all directions. People driving like idiots,” Marcus Drummond said. His eyes roamed over Robert sitting on the couch with pillows propping him up.

  Damien reached him before he could ask. He shook Marcus’s hand. That’s when Robert spoke up.

  “What the hell is going on between you and Justin? The two of you need to get your heads out of the sand?” When he saw everyone else staring at him, he added, “Come on. You all know they belong together. Life is too short to let love pass you by.”

  Lily asked, “Why is Uncle Robert crying?”

  “It’s okay, Lily. Robert is tired. I’m going to take him upstairs. He’ll feel better after he has a nap,” Damien said, helping Robert to his feet.

  “I am tired. We’ll read some more later,” he said to Lily.

  “Peter, could you explain to Marcus?” Damien asked. Peter nodded his head in agreement.

  Chapter Nine

  Damien watched as Robert fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillows. This had been more activity than he’d had in months. Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here after all. It could be too much for him. While Damien wrestled with his thoughts, Robert slept soundly. Sometime after midnight, Damien realized Robert was resting soundly, he finally drifted off himself.

  The next morning, Damien awoke to a hand gently squeezing his morning wood. Shocked, he turned to see Robert with his eyes closed, lazily palming Damien’s cock. A smirk slowly filled out the corners of Robert’s mouth.

  Eyes still closed, he said, “It’s about time you woke up. How long is a man supposed to wait for you to get the message?”

  “What message?” Damien said, flipping to face his lover.

  “The message that I want to make love with you,” Robert said, opening his eyes to stare at Damien with a look of wanton lust. “See,” he said pointing at his cock.

  Robert had removed his sweatpants and his cock was standing out from his body, long and hard.

  “Well, damn.”

  Damien moved to get his mouth on Robert, but with more strength than Damien expected, Robert stopped him with a hand to his chest.

  “No,” Robert said. “You’ve been doing all the giving. I want us to do it together.”

  Robert reached
for Damien’s hand and placed it on his cock. Moving it up and down, Damien got the idea right away. Together they stroked each other, kissing and touching with their free hands. It had been a long time since Robert had made any indication that he was up for this. There was no doubt, he was up for it this morning.

  Taking a breath, Damien fumbled around in the bedside table, hoping that someone might have left a tube of lube in it. Sure enough, he found one.

  “Hallelujah!”

  “Hush, you’ll wake everybody in the house,” Robert said chuckling.

  The slick fluid helped to ease the way for both men as they stroked and squeezed each other. Damien was still afraid to let loose. He didn’t want to hurt Robert in any way. His movements were cautious.

  “I’m okay, Damien. I need to hear you let go and come hard for me,” Robert whispered between nibbles on Damien’s sensitive neck and earlobe. “Baby, I need you. I need to see you come undone for me.”

  Those words were like a love ballad to Damien. It had been so long since they could be themselves, giving and taking and enjoying each other’s body’s like they had so many times in the past.

  “Baby give it to me,” Robert whispered.

  Damien felt his orgasm shake his entire body. He came and came. It felt so good to let it all go. All the weeks of worry, all the days of watching Robert in pain, all the nights he couldn’t do anything to help the man he loved. All that emotion came pouring out of his body in a powerful climax. Robert called out his name and came right after him.

  He was a total mess. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for what they had been through or how it made him feel. Damien opened his eyes to see Robert smiling at him. The love in his eyes poured out and spilled over Damien in another wild rush of emotion. He couldn’t stop them. Tears. Tears that he had been holding back for weeks.

  “That’s it, baby, let it out. I’ve got you,” Robert said, pulling Damien into his warm embrace. “We’re going to be fine. Merry Christmas, Damien. I love you.”

  Exhausted from the climax and the release of all that tension, Damien dozed only to find Robert sitting up in bed when he woke up the second time. Robert had showered and shaved and was dressed reading a book.

  “What are you doing?” Damien asked as he stretched out his aching muscles.

  “Waiting for you to wake up. I’m hungry,” he said. Robert pointed at a tray Winnie had brought up sitting on a table in the corner of the room.

  “Ah. Okay. I guess I’ll get a shower then,” Damien said as he rose from the bed. “Go ahead and start without me.”

  “Good, I heard Lily dragging Peter and Sally down the hall a little while ago. She was ready to open presents.”

  Damien looked in awe at Robert but didn’t say another word. He quickly showered and dressed. He didn’t know what had happened, but he wasn’t going to say a word. To see Robert almost like his old self was the best Christmas present he could ever receive.

  The parlor looked like a toy store had exploded and Lily was still unwrapping gifts. Finally, Peter had to hold her back and explain that the rest of the gifts under the tree were for the adults. She was surprised that adults got gifts from Santa too, then he explained that adults gave gifts to each other. The quizzical look on her face had everyone laughing.

  Peter and Sally cleaned up the wrapping paper while Damien, Robert, Justin and Marcus got coffee and cinnamon rolls from the sideboard where Winnie had set everything up.

  Marcus grabbed a cup of coffee and said, “Ah, the nectar of the—”

  “Good Lord, Marcus, we know already, the nectar of the gods!” Peter gushed.

  Robert pulled not one but two cinnamon rolls onto his plate and turned to see everyone watching him.

  “What? I feel good this morning,” he said as his cheeks pinked. “I’m hungry, too.”

  “Oh.” Justin gazed between Damien and Robert. Checking to see that Lily was concentrating on her new toys, he said, “Should you two be getting up to stuff like that?”

  Robert choked on his coffee and looked at Damien.

  “The doctor said whenever we were comfortable, it was okay.” Damien chuckled as Robert squirmed.

  “Please, it’s not bad enough that Justin and Marcus were going at it half the night, not you two, too!” Peter made a gagging noise.

  After some persuasion, Lily was convinced to take a nap while they waited on other family members to arrive.

  They had all gathered in the dining room around a table overloaded with dinner goodies when the doorbell rang again. Krystal, Robert’s secondhand man at the Warfield Hotel bar, came running into the room holding onto a puppy’s leash.

  “Robert,” she screamed and then stopped short.

  “I’m okay,” Robert said as he stood and hugged her. “I’ll explain everything later. I promise.”

  The man with Krystal, his name was Bradley, said, “I think Robby might be better off out on the porch while we eat.” He took the puppy outside much to Lily’s disappointment.

  “Robby!” Robert shouted at Krystal. “You named the dog after me?”

  “Yep! Now someone pass me those potatoes,” Krystal said while everyone laughed.

  The rest of the evening had been full of surprises. Robert was trying hard not to show how tired he was, but Damien could see it. He hadn’t even taken a nap today. Upstairs in their room as they readied for bed, they couldn’t help rehashing everything the evening with their family had brought.

  “Bradley seems like a nice enough guy and he sure has Krystal pegged.” Damien laughed as he pulled the covers up over them.

  “She was glowing,” Robert said, relaxing against his pillow. “I’m so happy for her. And what about Sally having twins? I thought Peter was going to faint.”

  They both laughed. Quietness settled in before either of them spoke again.

  “I’m glad Justin chose you as his best man,” Damien said.

  He intertwined their fingers as they lay in the dark. That was something he would never want to lose, holding Robert’s hand.

  “It means a lot to me,” Robert said, then added, “What do you think about them getting… married?”

  “I think it’s about time,” Damien answered. Damien could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He wondered if Robert ever thought about it… getting married.

  “I’ve never really thought a lot about it. I guess I always thought it was something straight people did when they wanted to have kids,” Robert said.

  “That’s true,” Damien answered. “I didn’t think I’d ever be in love with someone, much less find someone to marry.”

  The stillness between them grew. Damien was having a hard time catching his breath.

  “Well,” Robert finally said, “You never know what the future will bring. Goodnight, I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” Damien returned.

  The next week flew by. True to his word, Damien took Robert to the beach every morning. They even made it once to see the sun rise. Every day, Robert looked stronger and healthier. His color was returning and so was his appetite. It was cold in South Carolina this time of year, but a heavy jacket and a couple of blankets were all they needed most days. Damien even had Winnie pack them a picnic one day, and they spent the whole afternoon at the beach.

  The day of Justin and Marcus’s wedding arrived. It was a beautiful ceremony on the beach where they had first met. The day was colder than the recent ones, so they didn’t linger on the beach for long.

  The reception was held at the hotel and Sally and Peter had done an amazing job with the preparations. Damien especially enjoyed getting the chance to dance with Robert in his arms. They all had a laugh when Marcus drug Peter out on the dance floor. The two of them really hammed it up. It was an amazing day, but the thought of returning to Atlanta and waiting on the PET test weighed heavily on Damien and Robert.

  Saying goodbye was hard, but it came with the knowledge that they’d be back and hopefully, Robert would be back to work soon.
Sally packed a huge box of food for Damien and Robert to take back with them. She wanted to be sure Robert was getting enough to eat.

  The ride home was filled with trepidation. Damien sensed that Robert didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t bring it up.

  Two days after they returned home, Dr. Wharton called to say that the PET test had been scheduled for the following Thursday. Robert was doing so well, but Damien thought this would set him back.

  “Stop frowning,” Robert said at breakfast the morning of the test. “I’m fine. Really. We aren’t going to know if I don’t take the test.”

  “I know. It’s just that you’ve been so good since Christmas at the Warfield. I can’t bear to go back to the way it was before,” Damien admitted. “I know that sounds selfish.”

  “No, it doesn’t,” Robert said, taking his hand. “It doesn’t sound selfish at all. I feel the same way, but we’ll never know unless I take the damned test.”

  With the test scheduled on a Thursday, they would have to wait the entire weekend to get the results. Every minute of those days they spent in each other’s arms, talking, touching, kissing, and making love. Damien didn’t let his own fear and worry overshadow the love they were sharing. When Monday came, they were at the doctor’s office at their scheduled appointment time.

  Robert was anxious, and Damien knew there was nothing he could do but stand strong beside his man. Dr. Wharton and Dr. Alton walked into the office after Damien and Robert were seated.

  “Test results are good,” Dr. Wharton said. A huge smile broke out on his face. “No traces of cancer at this time.”

  Before Damien could shout, Dr. Alton added, “However, I want to do another test in six months. If it’s still clear, we’ll wait a year and test again. After that, just a routine check every three years will cover it. Agreed?”

  “I can live with that,” Robert said.

  “You sure as hell can!” Damien shouted.

  Damien pulled Robert to his feet and wrapped his arms around him. Kissing him deeply, he let the rest of the world fade away. They were going to have more time—a lifetime of time to love and care for each other. Damien was still kissing Robert when he heard a cough from behind him. Robert was chuckling against his lips.