Off Planet

by Aileen Erin

  “Yes. You did what you set out to do.” He shook his head at me. “I’m not sure I’m happy with the cost though.”

  A tear rolled out of my eye, and I didn’t care enough about wiping it away. “Will it hit the base?”

  “No. It should mostly land on the other side of planet, but that will destabilize it. And Declan set up his own bombs down there just to make doubly sure.”

  My lungs grew tight, and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling—if it was relief or exhaustion or just overloaded emotions—but I opened my eyes to watch the screen. I’d worry later about how I was supposed to feel about destroying a moon and a base. I’d wait until I heard if everyone made it out okay.

  The ship rocked again.

  “What was that? Another moon exploded?”

  Lorne gave me a small laugh. “I wish. Base’s security drones are firing at us. We have to go. Support ships are heading our way now.”

  Declan was so close. My friends. So close.

  Lorne lowered the ship in front of them. “Hatch is open, Dec. Move your ass!”

  One of the figures stumbled, and I gasped. No. I couldn’t tell who was who in the suits, but I didn’t want anyone left behind.

  One of the others grabbed the stumbler, half dragging them toward the ship, and I breathed easier.

  The screen shifted in front of Lorne, showing the drones firing at us. “We need to get out of here. Oh gods. Hurry, Dec! We need to go!”

  I’d been focused on the bottom square—the seven figures in suits running into the hatch—but now I looked at the bigger picture.

  I propped myself up on my elbow and my vision blurred for a second before I saw what Lorne saw.

  He was right. More ships were coming from patrols. At least fifty.

  An alarm started ringing, and I knew we were screwed.

  Footsteps ran down the hall, and I grunted as I heaved myself off the ground, leaning against the wall to keep me upright. I needed to see my friends. I needed to know that they were okay.

  Declan was the first to appear, and I closed my eyes. Thank God.

  “What the hell, Lorne?” Declan asked. “Why aren’t we jumping?”

  I swallowed down the guilt. It was going to be my fault if we didn’t get away now.

  “We can’t,” Lorne said. The ship swayed before speeding up, maneuvering between SpaceTech’s fleet.

  “What? That one hit was too much—”

  “Look at her.” Lorne’s voice was full of anger, and I knew he meant me.

  I wanted to apologize, but I didn’t dare. That would only piss off Lorne more.

  Audrey dropped down beside me, still in her suit. Her face was pale, and her left eye was swollen. “You can’t leave her like this. She needs nanos!” Audrey yelled.

  “No!” Lorne and I said at the same time.

  “I can’t do that. Not again,” I said. The idea of it made me want to give up and die right then and there.

  “Even if they wouldn’t torture her, they’d take too long to repair her brain. We have a perfectly good healing bed on her father’s ship. I can’t use mine. Not if we want a shot at staying alive. I need everything this ship has left focused on speed. Just hang on.”

  He flew and flew fast. The ship rocked as it was hit. Over and over. But the damage wasn’t enough to slow it down. Not yet.

  I held on to Audrey, trying to keep myself stable, and looked around the room. My vision was still a little blurry, but I could make out the forms well enough. Tyler was standing next to Audrey, pulling off his suit. Ahiga, Santiago, and Matthew were still in their suits with their face shields open. They stood against the wall by the door. Tabitha and some guy I didn’t know—also in their suits—were sitting on the floor against the back wall, watching the vidscreen with wide eyes. I wasn’t sure what to make of Matt and the other guy, but I had to trust that Declan and Ahiga wouldn’t bring any Aunare enemies with them.

  I twisted to look back at Declan, and the room swam. Audrey caught me when I started to fall, and I mouthed thank you at her.

  Declan had shed his suit and was standing at the desk next to Lorne, doing something else. Firing weapons? I wasn’t sure. But I had to assume that Lorne’s ship was keyed to Declan. I knew they were close, but hearing how they talked to each other and worked as one—I hoped that Lorne could get over his anger.

  Audrey grabbed my head and looked into my eyes. “She’s got brain trauma. Her pupils are a mess. She needs help.”

  “She’ll be okay,” Declan said.

  “She might not be,” Audrey said. She stood up enough to wiggle out of her suit, and I noticed a rash along her skin.

  “You okay?” I knew she’d been missing for a while. The color of her skin and the swelling eye and now a rash? Something was wrong.

  “Don’t worry. Right now I’m better off than you.” Audrey kicked her suit to the side and sat beside me.

  I grabbed her hand. “I’ll be fine. I survived this long.”

  “I don’t know how, but you’re stubborn.” She coughed a few times, then shook her head. “Find me a bucket and water and some washcloths.”

  I heard someone get up, but I couldn’t look away from the vidscreen.

  More SpaceTech ships appeared.

  We were iced. It was done. If we didn’t get away now, we weren’t getting away. That couldn’t happen. I’d rather die than be under Jason Murtagh’s thumb again. I wouldn’t live through it a second time. The base was going to be gone soon, but there were so many other ways Jason could torture me. I didn’t want to see what he’d dream up next.

  Another hit rocked us, and I slid down to the ground. It was too hard for me to stay upright, even with Audrey’s help.

  “How far out are we?” Declan asked.

  “We’d need three jumps.” Lorne’s gaze slid to me. “I can’t risk it.”

  “If we don’t try it…”

  “What’s the dilemma?” I asked. “If I’m the problem, I should get to help decide what we do.”

  Declan came to kneel in front of me. “We need three jumps to get to your father. We can’t outrun them. Not without jumping. We get to your father, and we’re free. Right now we’re one small ship. SpaceTech’s happily engaging with us. But your father’s ship plus two other squads? That’s big time. They can’t engage without officially committing to war. My brother needs my father and the entire board to agree before he can do that. And our allies might not look kindly on that, especially now.”

  We had to jump. We had to get to my father, but the last thing Declan said took a second to process. I didn’t understand. “What do you mean especially now?” I swatted away a drop of blood dripping from my nose.

  “Your father released a statement and small news reel just in case something went wrong. The clip from the diner and a few select clips from Abaddon.”

  My skin felt cold. No. No. Bright dots sparked in my vision as I tried to understand why my father would do that to me. He heard me yelling at Declan about showing him. How could he do that to me? “Who saw it?”

  “Everyone.”

  All the air whooshed out of my lungs, and I didn’t think I’d ever be okay again. I never wanted anyone to see any of that. I’d sacrificed everything I ever was to stay safe. To remain hidden. To prevent this stupid war. And my father had just released some of my most humiliating and private moments for everyone in the universe to see.

  I looked at Audrey, and she squeezed my hand.

  “It was for our allies. So that they’d know why we were running from SpaceTech. And to warn anyone allied with SpaceTech to stay out of our way. I know you’re going to be upset about it, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. I hope one day you’ll understand that. But right now, we’re too close to the Hestalon and Zktra systems, otherwise…”

  Another blast hit the ship, and an Aunare voice started speaking.

  My eyes grew wide as I saw the fear on Declan’s face. “What’s it saying?”

  “Our shields are almost done,�
�� Lorne said. “I’m diverting power, but…”

  No. I wasn’t getting captured by SpaceTech. Neither was Declan. Neither was the crown prince of the Aunare.

  I licked my lips. “How long does a jump take?”

  “Seconds.”

  I took a breath. “I can hold on.” I really hoped I wasn’t lying, but even if I was, I didn’t care.

  “It’ll be excruciating!” Lorne yelled.

  “I can do anything for a few seconds. I know that much by now.” That wasn’t a lie.

  “She can take it,” Declan said as he stood up.

  Lorne stormed over to us, shoving Declan. “You miserable piece of—”

  “She can take it.” Audrey gripped my hand in hers.

  We’d been through this before. We could do it again.

  “She can take it.” Ahiga stepped forward.

  I took a breath.

  Lorne had to jump. He had to believe them.

  “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true,” Tyler said, and I could’ve kissed him for it. “Girl has been through a hell of a lot. I can’t pretend to know what you’re talking about, but if it’s pain, she can take it.”

  Lorne looked at me. “I can’t risk it. I can’t.”

  I was scared. There was no doubt about that. I didn’t want to die, but more than that, I couldn’t take any more of what SpaceTech was going to give me. I was too tired. Too weak. There wasn’t another choice. It was run or die.

  “I can’t be taken by them again. Please, get us away from here and know that I will hang for as long as I can. I know I’m not looking fantastic right now, but I’m strong, and I’m stubborn. Jumping will save all of us. Please, please do this. Don’t let me down. Don’t break your promise.”

  He closed his eyes, and I saw him taking the breath—the count of six, out for three. He strode back to the desk. His fingers moved fast along the surface. “Ready in three. Two. One.”

  He hit the button, and it felt like my brain was exploding. The pain ran through my whole body, and for a second I thought I was dying. I screamed and clutched my head.

  And then it was over. The ringing was worse though. At least I thought it was worse. All I knew was I didn’t think I’d ever felt this bad.

  I panted a few breaths, letting the pain flow out of my body. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks, dripping onto the floor.

  Lorne looked at me, and I could feel his pain as if it were mine. I knew I was forcing his hand, and I hoped that eventually, he’d forgive me. Especially for the lying, because I had a feeling that this was about to go terribly wrong for me.

  But we had to keep going. Nothing had changed. We couldn’t be captured. Not now. Not ever. I would sacrifice everything to make sure at least that much happened.

  I nodded at Lorne and then winced from the pain of moving my head. “Do it.” My voice was shaky, but I was okay.

  “Ready in three. Two. One.” He hit the button.

  I thrashed on the ground, rolling into a ball as I clutched my head. My throat burned as the scream ripped from my throat.

  It took me a second to catch my breath. The stone floor was cold against my face, and I needed a second as the sobs wracked through me.

  Just one more second.

  One more.

  “They’re coming. We’re too close to Zktra’s base.” Declan said. “Hit it again.”

  “No.” Lorne’s voice was cold and vicious.

  “Do it!”

  “No,” he said quietly. I couldn’t see him, but I knew that he was giving up. I could hear it in his voice. “It’s over. She’s in too much pain. I can’t… And the ship… It’s barely holding together. The healing chamber won’t work. There’s not enough power left even if I… I…I won’t be able to save her.”

  Audrey was murmuring to me, wiping my face with a cool, damp washcloth. I felt Lorne come over. I knew I had to be the one to tell him, but I wasn’t sure I could find the words.

  He ran his hand down my back. I was still in a ball on the floor. My forehead resting against the ground. I could hear the plop-plop-plop of my blood as it dripped out of my ears.

  I’m a di Aetes. Di Aetes never quit. Not ever.

  I closed my eyes and thought of Jason in that diner. Of the feel of his fat fingers digging into my arm. Of his hand weaseling its way into my underwear. And I turned my head just enough to catch Lorne’s gaze.

  I could handle it. I knew I could. Jason wasn’t winning. “Do it.”

  His jaw ticced. “No.”

  He had to do it. I would do anything—say anything—to convince him. “Please. I don’t want to go back there.”

  “No.” He shook his head slowly. “I can’t watch you die.”

  “Declan?”

  There was pain in Lorne’s eyes as I asked for Declan. He must’ve thought I was picking Declan over him, but I wasn’t. I just wanted to get away from SpaceTech.

  “Can you do it?”

  Lorne gave me a sad smile as he brushed my hair from my face. “No. He can’t. I changed the jump controls before I left the desk. I won’t risk you, and I don’t trust Declan with your safety. Not anymore.”

  Okay. That was out. I had one last thing I could do, but I didn’t want to do it. I really, seriously didn’t want to. But I didn’t want to find out what SpaceTech would do to us if they caught us. I couldn’t take that. Anything but that.

  I looked at Audrey and her swollen eye.

  It wasn’t just my life on the line here. If they caught us, we were all dead. I couldn’t let Lorne sacrifice everyone because one last jump might kill me. I wasn’t afraid to die.

  “Declan?” My voice shook.

  Lorne’s eyes widened.

  “Yes, Ami?” Declan’s voice was wary, and I got it. But he was going to do whatever I asked.

  “Play him whatever my father showed everyone.” My voice was raspy but sounded clear and confident.

  “No,” Lorne said. “You didn’t want me—”

  I laughed. “Apparently everyone’s seen them. You’re just one more person.”

  “You sure?” Declan asked. “You got pretty mad about that earlier…”

  I rolled onto my back and met Declan’s gaze. “Yeah.” A tear roll down my cheek, and Lorne caught it with his thumb.

  I heard it start and I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t need to see it. I’d lived it.

  Jason’s pervy voice filled the bridge. I heard my voice asking him to stop. I could feel his hands on me again, and then I heard the sick crunch his face made as I smashed my fist into it.

  Then I heard myself yelling, begging for it to stop. Begging for Audrey to sedate me. I heard Audrey and Tyler’s fight. That had to be the first nanos session.

  “Christ. Stop. Declan, stop.” Lorne’s forehead rested against mine. “You’re breaking my heart, Amihanna.”

  “Please. I can’t go back there. I can’t live through all of that again.” My chin shook, and tears streamed from my eyes, but I wasn’t above begging. “I know I’m in terrible shape. I can feel it. But don’t make all of what I went through up to this point mean nothing. You can help me. Get us to my father. Please.”

  His tears dripped onto my cheek, mixing with mine, and he pulled back. “Okay, but you hang in for me. I can’t lose you again.”

  “I haven’t come this far to die now.” The truth was that I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise. I’d try, but I was in so much pain. All I could think about was getting away from SpaceTech and the pain finally being over. One way or another.

  Lorne closed his eyes. A burst hit the ship again, and the walls glowed with a red light.

  He stood up and went back to the desk. “In three.” His voice cracked. “Two.” I could barely stand to hear it. “One.” The word whispered so softly in the quiet.

  I knew I was screaming—the air was ripped from my lungs—but I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t feel anything, except for pain. It was like a meat grinder in my head, and all I could think was that I’d lied. I cou
ldn’t survive this.

  And when the ship stopped, I couldn’t stop screaming.

  I don’t know how long I was like that before I could hear something. My own screams. It was faint, but I heard them and tried to stop.

  Then my father’s voice yelling.

  Someone picked me up and ran.

  I felt the air shift. Just like I had in the mine when I’d been sucked into the ship.

  And then I heard my mother screaming.

  My mother?

  Was I dying?

  “I’m sorry, Mom.” My voice was little more than a croak, and I heard her answering sob, but I couldn’t make my eyes open. I couldn’t stand the pain. So I did the only thing left that I could do.

  I let go.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  I was warm…

  Safe…

  Loved…

  The light was so bright, so white that it should’ve hurt to look at it, but it didn’t.

  Being here was like being wrapped in a warm blanket made of love. Cozy and perfect.

  I let out a slow breath and felt the weight of over a decade of fear and pain and sorrow disappear as if it were a trillion light-years away. Finally, I was free. Truly free.

  Maybe I should’ve been scared or upset that I was gone—that my life had ended so painfully short—but I wasn’t. Death was true peace, and I wanted to stay here forever.

  A low hum rumbled through my soul, and I felt myself being called back, except I didn’t want to go back.

  I didn’t want to go…

  I didn’t want to—

  Chapter Forty-Five

  I wasn’t dead. I didn’t hurt. And I was disappointed that I was alive.

  Those were the first three things that came into my mind.

  I didn’t want to wake up. I’d really, truly thought I was going to die on Lorne’s ship, and I’d made peace with it. When I begged Lorne to make that last jump to my father’s ship, the eternal beyond hadn’t scared me. Not after everything I’d been through. I might have begged for death a few times when Audrey was giving me nanos, but each time I’d woken okay with having made it through, and I’d been glad.