Guardian

by Kerri Morrigan

  “Holy shit.” Azriel’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “You actually do love her.” He broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. “This is even better than I thought.” As his laughter continued, he had to wipe a tear from his eye. “Well, enjoy what’s left of your life as a worthless, pathetic, human.”

  “The only thing that is pathetic around here is you,” Kalev said, but Azriel ignored him, too caught up in his own amusement.

  Kalev felt as if he weighed a thousand pounds, but pride and stubbornness lifted him to his feet. His stomach was rumbling, and his throat was dry. He tried to ignore the weakness of his body, ignore Azriel’s claim that he was human. He was sure it was a bluff; Azriel was only trying to rattle his cage. Any minute, his powers would slowly begin to regenerate. But damned if he was going to sit here and let Azriel mock him while he waited.

  “Azriel,” Kalev shouted, finally grabbing the angel’s attention, “get the fuck out of here.”

  “And just how are you planning on making me do that?” Azriel countered.

  “I…” Kalev faltered. How did he plan on doing that? He had no usable powers, no extraordinary abilities to call upon. Azriel, on the other hand, was chock full of both.

  His weakness filled him with rage; he would pummel Azriel into the ground with his bare hands or die trying. This manipulative, sanctimonious, egotistical prick thought he could do whatever the hell he pleased because he was head of the Council, and no one else seemed to bat an eye. It was time someone stood up to him.

  Kalev ran at him, prepared to grab Azriel around the middle and drag him to the ground. He’d only gotten a few paces when a bright white blast sent him smashing into the very same wall he’d crumpled against earlier. The entire apartment shook; tiny flecks of paint fluttered down from the ceiling. Kalev rubbed the back of his head where it had struck the plasterboard. Stars danced in front of his eyes but he dragged himself to his feet.

  “This is ridiculous. What could you possibly hope to gain from this futile endeavor?”

  “Fuck you and your little games. You’re no better than Daemon,” Kalev said with a growl as he hurtled toward Azriel once more.

  His barb struck; Azriel fumed. “You have no idea what I have done, what sacrifices I have made, in the service of the Almighty!” Azriel bellowed and let lose a more focused bolt of power straight at Kalev’s chest. His ribs began cracking, one by one, in slow succession. The agony was exquisite. It was all he could do to take breaths of air; breaths that he now actually needed. He briefly tried not to breathe since each inhale brought a new wave of agonizing pain, but eventually, he couldn’t prevent it. His body screamed for air, demanded it. The sensation was new, terrible and frightening; the vulnerability of needing oxygen was distressing.

  “Why… are you … doing this?” Kalev rasped.

  “Why? Oh please, Kalev. You know precisely why,” Azriel hissed.

  “I… really … don’t.”

  “Did you really think you could show off as a Guardian, always working harder than the rest, always doing more than your fair share, and worm your way onto the Council? I heard the rumors. You were manipulating everyone so that you could take my seat. How dare you think yourself better. I worked too hard to get that spot,” Azriel raged at him.

  Kalev had no clue what Azriel was talking about. Yes, he had worked hard, and yes he had gone above and beyond what was needed, but he had done it all in order to bring himself closer to earning a place in heaven. He didn’t do any of it to flaunt his power. He’d never attempted to manipulate the Council, at least not until this fiasco with Grace anyway. He’d thought only that he was doing what was necessary to fairly obtain the next rank. It wasn’t his fault that Azriel found him threatening. If Azriel had focused on actually doing what he could to help mankind instead of playing his silly political games, he would have long ago been promoted, and Kalev wouldn’t have posed any threat at all.

  Through gritted teeth and gasps of air, he told Azriel as much. It had been the wrong thing to say.

  “I will annihilate you right here, Kalev, but first I will make certain that you wish you were never created in the first place. You will hear every single bone in your worthless body break, every piece of sinew tear before it happens. You will beg for it to stop. You will grovel at my feet. You will -”

  “Screw you,” Kalev butted in. If Azriel was going to torture him, he might as well get on with it. There was no need to listen to his ridiculous speech. After all, there was nothing that Azriel could do to him that would hurt as much as Grace’s words just had.

  Azriel sent a new bolt out at him. Kalev closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact; Azriel could break his body, but he would never, ever beg. At least that much was still in Kalev’s control. He would deny Azriel that pleasure if it was the very last thing he did.

  The pain didn’t come. He cracked an eye. Azriel wasn’t even looking at him. He followed Azriel’s gaze to the open door. Someone else had entered the room, although Kalev couldn’t see who it was. A brilliant white glow shimmered and then faded, leaving Gavriel in its stead. Gavriel only met Kalev’s eyes for a second but didn’t miss the flicker of sadness in them before Gavriel focused his stare on Azriel; he looked lethal.

  “I would not finish your obscene task if I were in your position.” Gavriel said.

  “You have no authority over me.” Azriel took a step closer to Gavriel.

  “Not directly, no. But I do not believe that the Council would be pleased if they heard of your ploy. If I am not mistaken, the Council views treason rather harshly.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “I would, indeed, dare. Do not test me. The Council will listen to what I say with most seriousness.” Gavriel said. Azriel’s golden face went ashen before Gavriel continued, “Leave now, without uttering another syllable, and I shall keep the events of today to myself. If you even contemplate harming either Kalev or Grace, I will go directly to the Council. I will not even pause outside of the chamber door.”

  Kalev watched Azriel weigh his options in his head. After a few moments, when it was clear he had no other alternatives, he disappeared.

  Not an instant later, Gavriel was at his side.

  “Thank you.” Kalev grunted. His whole body swam in anguish.

  “Arglwydd mawr,” Gavriel whispered as he looked Kalev over from head to toe. Kalev didn’t speak Welsh, but he gathered it was as close to a curse as he’d ever heard Gavriel say. Gav stretched out his hands and laid them carefully on Kalev’s torso; qudra flowed into him.

  The intense rush of it caused him to lean his head back. He felt happily, blissfully, numb. His body no longer hurt; the bones were already knitting themselves back together.

  “Jesus, Gav, how much did you give me? You already drained yourself enough today for me,” Kalev drawled; he felt sluggish.

  Gavriel gave him a grave look, “I only gave you a mild human dose.”

  Kalev struggled to focus. “What? How can this be happening?”

  “I cannot fathom the reason for this, Kalev. I thought it only myth. But I cannot deny what I sense with my power and see with my eyes.”

  “So, I am… human, then?” It was more of a statement than a question.

  “That is how it appears.”

  “I need you to find her, protect her,” Kalev said, suddenly frantic. He could no longer keep her safe. If he couldn’t even see the enemy how could he possibly guard her? Grace was what was important. He would figure out this human thing later.

  “She has disappeared?” Gavriel asked alarmed.

  “She left,” he said with dismay. The very thought of her made remorse pour over him anew. “I screwed up, Gav. Lord, I screwed up.” Kalev put his head in his hands. He thought he might cry. This was new. He didn’t like the hot puffy feeling in his face or the raw ache in his throat. He breathed deeply, trying to ignore it. It didn’t work.

  “You…love her,” Gav said, awestruck.

  “I do,” Ka
lev answered.

  “I will find her,” Gavriel said and then, right before he disappeared, he added, “I envy you.”

  Chapter 19

  Not knowing where else to go, Grace found her way to the Basilica. Blinding tears streamed in endless rivulets down Grace’s pink-tinged cheeks. She helplessly sat in the empty church pew with only the marble statues and lustrous paintings for company. Many years ago, she had stood in this very spot with her doting parents, proudly wearing a pretty ring on a chain around her neck and made her Communion. That damned ring had caused her more trouble and heartache than she could’ve ever imagined. It was the reason for her parents’ deaths, the reason she was being hunted, and the only reason Caleb had ever bothered with her.

  And those were precisely the reasons why she had taken the ring off on her way here. It now sat uncomfortably in her pocket, the unyielding curves of it still alerting her to its presence. She couldn’t leave it off forever, that would leave her vulnerable, but she needed a break. What had once felt like an exciting key to the truth of existence now felt like a heavy shackle, the weight of which had brought a depth of despair she’d never before known. When people used the phrase ‘heartache’ Grace had always just assumed it was a figure of speech - not now. Her chest felt as if there was a gaping hole in it, the pain so acute she could barely catch her breath. She had thought she’d really found love this time, but, once again, she’d been played for a fool. Except this time was so much worse than the first. Steve’s betrayal had certainly been a bitter pill to swallow, but she had never felt as if she were drowning on dry land.

  She had come to trust Caleb. Kalev. Ugh, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t even known his real name. When she’d nursed him back to health, and he’d promised her ‘no more lies’, she had believed him. When she’d asked about angels, and he’d sworn he didn’t know, she’d believed him too. She’d thought that they’d reached a deeper connection, that they’d proved to one another that they were both worthy of each other’s trust and confidence. Apparently, that ‘connection’ had only been one-sided. He had let her believe what she wanted as a means to an end.

  The shame that had accompanied Kalev’s revelation had been nearly as crippling as the loss of the love she thought she’d found. The memory of Azriel’s mocking face as he revealed all Kalev’s real plans to her taunted her. Embarrassment flooded through her, each damning detail more nauseating than the last. And yet, with all of it, she had still looked to him, still held out hope he would deny it. But he had finally been unable to lie any longer. Perhaps he felt guilty now that he’d slept with her. Or perhaps he’d been so blindsided that he’d been unable to think of a convincing lie. Or perhaps he just didn’t care anymore now that his scheme had been ruined.

  She had to be the most gullible girl on the planet. But she’d never fathomed the possibility that angels would be so involved in her life, not to mention so human-like in their flaws. But it explained everything, about Kalev that hadn’t quite added up; things that Grace had chosen to ignore, blinded by her feelings. Now she knew how he was able to fight demons so easily, how he’d known when to show up in the park that night, why he seemed to be able to go without food or sleep for such long periods of time. Sadly, it was his attraction to her that had made the least sense in her mind. For the most part, men had never really paid much attention to her, no less a man like Kalev. Now it was painfully clear why he had.

  A giggle of near hysteria escaped her. Kalev hadn’t even been a man to begin with; he’d been an angel. Grace had no idea how she was supposed to feel about that little fact, either. A part of her did not fail to appreciate the magnitude of his revelation, what that might mean in terms of an afterlife, of seeing her parents again. She dared not think on it too long, less she face more disappointment later. She wouldn’t get her hopes up. The rest of her was pissed that the revelation had happened too little too late to stop the train wreck it had now caused.

  She did have to admit that she was satisfied that karma had caught up with him. It had been harsh. Turning human must’ve been quite a shock. She huffed quietly - served him right. She clung to that feeling - indignation hurt less than heartbreak. See how he liked it. It was bad enough that demons had decided she was just a prize for them to win and use as they pleased, but to find out that angels were also using her as a pawn for their own schemes was even worse. Weren’t they supposed to be good? Weren’t angels supposed to be God’s helpers, doing his work, making the world a better place? They weren’t supposed to be as ambitious and selfish as humans. Unfortunately, both Azriel and Kalev had proved her beliefs wrong. They could go to hell for all she cared.

  She sighed. That wasn’t true. In the end, although Kalev had used her and lied to her, she couldn’t force herself to hate him enough to condemn him to that fate. She couldn’t just flip a switch and turn off all her feelings of love and replace them with anger and rage. She wanted to hate him, it’d certainly be easier that way, but she couldn’t. She put her head in her hands.

  “Usually I am the only one who cannot sleep at this hour.”

  Grace whipped her head up, startled by the strong, low voice that had broken the silence. A man dressed in a black button down and trousers with the iconic white collar of the priesthood was standing at the edge of the pew in front of her. His umber hand gently gripped the glossy wooden bench as he looked down at her with kind eyes. He was older, perhaps in his late sixties or early seventies, his salt and pepper hair buzzed so short it was barely visible. His radiant white smile caused his wrinkles to deepen but it only added to his friendly appearance.

  “I apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he added.

  “No, sorry, I was lost in thought,” Grace answered.

  Using his hand for support, he lowered himself to sit on the pew in front of her, turning himself as far around as the bench would allow.

  “I’m Reverend William,” he said, extending his hand.

  “Grace,” she answered through her barely controlled sniffles.

  “Why don’t you start at the beginning,” he urged, and handed her a handkerchief.

  Grace struggled with where to begin and what to say, but as she started, the words just kept tumbling out. Like a dam that had sprung a leak, the story flowed forth, first in a trickle but then in a flood, her emotions needing release. It wasn’t long before she gave up the pretense of sounding normal and dove headfirst into what must have sounded like utter lunacy. She recounted nearly every moment from the time she was attacked in the park until she’d sat down in the pew she currently occupied. She blushed as she briefly mentioned the more affectionate moments of her relationship with Kalev, finding that even a cursory summary felt too intimate. Reverend William, however, just nodded thoughtfully, never interrupting, never judging, never questioning her sanity. All he did was listen; it was exactly what Grace needed.

  When she finally finished, she pulled the ring from her pocket, and placed it in his palm. It seemed the only ‘proof’ she had of the truth of her words. It wasn’t much of anything, but it was all she could think of. He took it wordlessly.

  “You must think I am absolutely insane,” she said, needing to break the uncomfortable silence.

  “Grace, I have lived on this earth over seventy years, and I have never heard a tale like yours,” Father William said with a small chuckle.

  So, he did think she was a lunatic. She looked away from him, cheeks flushed with humiliation. He tilted his head down to catch her eye.

  “A tale that has so much sincerity, honesty and hope woven into it, that I cannot fail to hear the truth in it,” he finished.

  She straightened. “So, you don’t think I’m crazy?”

  “I have to admit that I wavered for a moment, but no, Grace, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

  She sighed with relief.

  “I may be a man of the cloth, but it doesn’t mean I understand everything about the universe. God works in mysterious ways. The world that you describe isn�
��t how I was raised to understand existence, but that doesn’t make your experience any less valid. I have never met an angel, so who am I to say what they are like?” He smiled at her reassuringly. “May I ask you a question about, this, Kalev?”

  “Of course,” she answered, relieved he was taking her seriously.

  “Do you know what the incident was that happened 20 years ago? What did he do to get demoted?”

  She got the impression that he saw a connection she didn’t.

  “How could I know that?” She asked.

  “You said Azriel mentioned the incident and then, directly after, told you how Kalev had been looking in on you for your whole life.” He looked her square in the eyes then. “What happened to you 20 years ago, Grace?”

  No, no, no, no. It couldn’t be. Her eyes grew wide as she shook her head back and forth in denial, even as the puzzle pieces snapped together in her brain, showing her the truth as clear as day. Her parents, the fire, the darkness… and the eyes. Those bright, glittering, hazel eyes that had come out of the inky black and saved her. They were his eyes. More luminescent in her memory, but definitely his. She had no doubt of that now. She was only surprised she hadn’t made the connection before. It hadn’t been some random good Samaritan who had saved her that day. It had been Kalev all along. And, for whatever reason, he wasn’t supposed to have rescued her, but had done it anyway.

  “He saved my life,” she whispered, “He lost everything because he saved my life.”

  Azriel had tricked them both, toyed with their lives for his own gains. But she had swallowed every world of what he had said, only because she had feared it to be true. She should have given Kalev the chance to explain things to her. After everything they’d shared, she could’ve at least done that. Instead, she’d given him a verbal slap in the face and left him crumpled on the floor.