Astray

by J F Rogers

  “I-I didn’t mean to. I tried to help him, like you.”

  Be’Norr gently touched his brother’s face, and De’Rahn crumbled like a disturbed sandcastle. Be’Norr remained, gazing at the pile of dust and flattened clothes, his face full of remorse. Then he straightened and moved toward me. “I know. ’Tis all right. Here.” He yanked off his cloak, tore fabric from the tunic underneath, pushed my aside hair, and cleaned the wound from De’Rahn. “Let me help you.”

  “She’s lost a lot of blood.” My mother wiped my damp forehead. “She’s cold. Look how pale she is.”

  “I’m okay,” I insisted, despite the spinning faces and my throbbing weakness. “I’m sorry, Be’Norr. I-I didn’t mean to kill your brother.”

  “Call me Evan. Be’Norr was my fasgadair name.” Evan solidified into one collective vision. His soft, blue eyes, exotic against his dark skin, peered into mine. “Listen to me, Fallon. You did not kill him. I do not pretend to understand what you are or what you have done. But he bit you. He made the choice. He could have killed you, but did he concern himself with that possibility? No. Do not concern yourself with my brother’s death. He deserved it.” His shoulder’s drooped as he applied pressure to the cloth. “I did too.”

  The difference in him overwhelmed me. He seemed so…so…human. As a monster, he seemed ageless. But now…he couldn’t be more than a year or two older than me.

  His eyes glistened with tears as a smile crossed his face. “Do not think on the lost life, but the saved one. You fought for both. You gave me back my life—another chance to get it right. I can’t thank you enough.”

  Murmurs coursed through the witnesses. One of them cried, “Praise Fallon!”

  I twisted in the direction of the cry. “No.” I strained to be heard, but my voice came out weak. I coughed. “The praise goes to God. I am merely His servant.”

  “Praise be to God!” someone called out.

  I smiled and closed my eyes.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  ◊◊◊

  “FALLON, WAKE UP.”

  I moaned and blinked. Concerned faces surrounded my view.

  Evan gazed at me, smoothing my hair. “Can you walk?”

  “I’m not sure.” I tried to stand. My mother grasped one arm. Evan took the other. Together, they lifted me. The stairs spun beneath me, and I faltered. “Whoa.”

  I tried to catch myself, but I leaned on my mother. She buckled beneath my weight, and we both nearly fell. Evan grabbed me, and Cataleen caught herself.

  “We have to get out of here. Cataleen, you’re weak too. I’ve got her.” Evan stooped, threw my arm over his shoulder, and gathered me into his arms. Had I ever been carried like this, even as a baby? He walked me through the façade of a wall into the daylight.

  Despite the canopy of trees blocking us from direct sunlight, my eyes burned. I buried my face in Evan’s shoulder. I had no idea how long he carried me.

  “You must be getting tired.” I looked up at him. “I think I can try walking.”

  “You lost so much blood, Fallon. Let me carry you a little further.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes. What had caused the sudden rush of emotion? I blinked the tears away and rested against Evan.

  The boy who first greeted me in the slave’s chamber stopped up ahead and turned. “I think I hear running water.”

  “Find it,” Evan called. “We’ll follow you.”

  When we reached the brook, he eased me down. I lay prostrate, dipped my hand into the cool water, and brought it to my lips. When I’d had my fill, I pushed myself away from the bank and rolled onto my back. I stared into the sky as a giant brown bird swept close by, carrying something in its talons—a satchel? My heart thumped. I pulled myself up, looked to the others along the bank, and pointed skyward. “Look. The sky.” My disjointed words came out in gasps.

  The bird flew by again releasing a shivery cry.

  “A golden eagle. Come.” Evan helped me up. “’Tis probably a fasgadair and will alert the others. We must keep moving.”

  Before we got far, the eagle returned with something in its beak. Evan and I fell over as it swooped past us, released its satchel, and skidded across the ground to an ungraceful stop. It stood, ruffled its feathers, hopped over to me, and deposited a bunch of grapes at my feet.

  Confused, I studied the strange bird and picked up the grapes.

  It nodded, snatched the satchel, and hopped into the woods.

  Evan scooped the grapes from me to inspect them. “A present from a friend of yours, Fallon?” He took a tentative bite. “They’re good. Here. Everyone take one.” He plucked one from the stem and handed it to me. He then stood to pass them out to the rest of the gachen.

  I popped a grape into my mouth, its juicy sweetness ecstasy to my taste buds. Water. Now food. How great you are, Father!

  My attention returned to where the bird vanished into the woods. Declan appeared from around a tree, and I sucked in my breath. “I knew it!” I managed to stand, but swayed once upright.

  Evan grasped my arm as Declan ran to help support me.

  I stared at Declan. Pure joy surged through me. “You-You’re a bird, too.”

  His grin overcame his entire face as he nodded, green eyes sparkling. Then he grew serious. “When you disappeared, I knew right away what you had done.” His once joyous eyes now flashed at me. “You’re so stubborn.” Despite his scolding, a smile tugged at the left corner of his mouth, sending waves rippling through my stomach. He seemed different—more confident. An attractive quality.

  “Yes, but look at you. You have a totem.” I pushed at him playfully.

  “I guess coming to your rescue was the motivation I needed.” He frowned. “What were you thinking?”

  “I was thinking I didn’t want anyone else to die on account of me.”

  Declan shook his head. “What happened? How did you—”

  “It’s a long story.”

  Evan handed me the rest of the grapes. “Eat these.”

  I turned toward the others. “But what about—”

  “Eat.” He ordered and faced Declan. “We can explain later. She’s suffered some blood loss and needs food.” He waved toward the others lining the bank. “They all need food. Are there more of those nearby?” He pointed toward the grapes.

  Declan’s brows furrowed as he studied me. “Follow me. There are more this way.”

  I walked a little better now, but Declan and Evan wouldn’t allow me to try on my own. They each took an arm and half carried me along. How had I ended up with two guys doting on me? What a strange, unexpected turn of events.

  ****

  Our troop lounged on the grass near the grapevines, gorging ourselves. “Where are Wolf, Cahal, Pepin, and Ry—” I brought my hand to my mouth. I blinked back the tears and swallowed the lump forming in my throat. It didn’t make up for the loss, but at least I’d saved others. And it was clearly God’s plan. I couldn’t have worked things out the way He had. If things had gone according to my own power, we’d all be dead.

  Declan caught my blunder. His eyes moistened. “They aren’t far. I must go back and tell them where we are.” He handed me his water bag. “Is Drochaid showing the direction?”

  I shrugged as I drank. After returning the water to him, I checked Drochaid. “It’s not doing anything at the moment.”

  “Good.” He nodded. “It should be safe for you to stay and rest then. I’ll locate the others and bring them here.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “Nay.” His eyes pleading, he looked to Evan then back at me. “Stay. Rest. You need your strength.”

  “I’m much stronger already.”

  Evan placed his hand on my arm. “Fallon, he will be faster alone. Let him go.”

  I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Fine. But be quick about it, would you?”

  With a smile, Declan gave me a quick hug. “Keep an eye on Drochaid. Go ahead without us i
f it shows you where to go.”

  “But—”

  He hurried away before I could ask how we’d find one another. Oh well…just another thing I’d have to trust God with.

  I lay on my back, closed my eyes, and rested. Every once in a while I checked Drochaid, grateful each time it revealed nothing. I didn’t want to face the possibility of having to leave without them and wonder if they’d find us. They wouldn’t know what direction we’d be headed.

  I had no idea how long I lay there, overthinking things yet again, when Evan prodded me.

  “Fallon, your friends are here.”

  I jolted upright. Declan and the others emerged from the forest.

  When I ran to greet them, Declan laughed. “Looks like you’re feeling better.”

  Pepin cleared his throat. The sides of his beard rose with his broad smile. “Declan told us your story along the way. Incredible. I knew God had big plans for you.”

  I leaned down when he reached to hug me. The strength behind his tight embrace surprised me.

  When Pepin and I disentangled, I ran into Cahal’s open arms, and all but disappeared in a massive bear hug.

  Before I passed out from lack of oxygen, Cahal let me go. “As did I.”

  Wolf sauntered up behind, looking sheepish. He glanced at the escapees and his eyes widened. He sprinted into the woods.

  “Wolf!” I cried and turned to see what had spooked him. Was he afraid of emaciated gachen? That’s all I could see over there. If there was some kind of danger, Wolf would save us. He wasn’t one to turn tail and run. Then again, he’d been different since Le’Corenci. I eyed Declan. “What was that about?”

  He shrugged, “Does Drochaid have anything yet to say?”

  “It’s pointing that way.” I motioned ahead of us and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

  “North. I didn’t think we should return to Notirr. After what you told me, I fear Morrigan will have the fasgadair track you down. It will likely be the first place they search.”

  “As wonderful as it is to see you alive,” Cahal interrupted, “we must put more distance between us and Ceas Croi.”

  Typical Cahal, pushing us ever onward. I shook my head, smiled, and followed—glad to have my friends back. But what was going on with Wolf? Would he come back?

  Chapter Forty

  ◊◊◊

  THE FOOD AND WATER strengthened our bodies, but the feat of escaping Ceas Croi with our souls intact strengthened our spirits. We moved at a faster pace, which was still considerably slower than Cahal would have liked. He kept to the lead, glancing back periodically, stopping, waiting for the rest to catch up. But we still didn’t have our full strength, and the way wasn’t easy.

  There was no path. Drochaid led us through thick woods overgrown with briers. Wolf returned, but kept his distance, far behind us. Still he hadn’t greeted me. And he usually took the lead. He shouldn’t have any issues traversing this terrain. Why was he acting this way? This was a good day. We defeated Aodan and rescued my mother plus some. He should be triumphant. Instead, he behaved as one who was pouting…or guilty. My stomach sank as doubt settled in. Should I have trusted him? The others hadn’t wanted me to. Had he tried sending me to my death and it backfired? He didn’t seem to notice me watching him. His eyes followed something, and he looked sad. I followed his gaze—my mother. Did he know her?

  We came to a clearing, and Drochaid pointed us across a raging river. Where was He leading us? He didn’t do anything without purpose. Was this to keep the fasgadair from following, thinking no one in their right mind would ever come this way?

  Cahal, Declan, and Evan took turns carrying the rest of us across. Now we’d have to walk with dripping wet clothes. My lightweight selkie dress would dry quickly. With the sun still fairly high in the sky, the day was warm. Hopefully, everyone would dry off soon. Knowing Cahal, he’d make us continue through the night despite our weariness.

  Wolf remained in the shadows only crossing after the rest of us resumed our trek away from the opposite bank. He shook, sending water shooting like a sprinkler. If only the rest of us could dry off so easily.

  We crossed rocky ground. Our weary bodies stumbled. Declan and Evan both hovered over me while others fell. “Help them.”

  They looked at each other, and then back at me.

  “Please. I’m okay. They need the help more.”

  Declan picked up an older woman who was falling behind. She slumped against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Evan put his arm around an old man who leaned on him and said, “Bless you.”

  I blinked back tears and pushed closer to Cahal. “When can we make camp?”

  He scanned at the sky. The sun hadn’t completed its descent. “We need to keep moving. It’s not safe to sleep at night, remember?”

  “How could I forget? But we can’t continue like this without rest.”

  He stared ahead as he marched, probably envisioning countless ways his charges might be overtaken, depending on our choices.

  Perhaps I could add another scenario. “Just a short break. A quick snack and a nap. Even a little sleep can help us move faster. We’ll head out again before the sun sets.”

  Cahal surveyed our faltering troop, trudging along like sleepwalkers. He groaned and dropped his pack. “I’ll keep watch. No fire.”

  “No problem.” I relaxed. “We can do that. Thank you.” I threw my arms around him. Well, part of him anyway.

  He grunted, bringing a smile to my face. How I’d come to love this grumpy giant.

  We sat and devoured the grapes we brought with us. My gaze kept roaming to Wolf, distanced from the rest of us. Crouching low, he crept to where Declan had left his things. He peeked at me a couple of times and must’ve caught me staring. I didn’t try to hide it.

  I crossed to him and reached to pet him. He lowered his head and backed away, leaving my hand suspended in midair, denied. “What are you doing, Wolf? What’s the matter?”

  He snatched Declan’s pack lying in the grass, and hurried away.

  I followed. But he was so fast, even with a pouch dangling from his mouth. I’d never catch up. At the tree line, he disappeared. What happened? Was he mad at me—or himself?

  I cupped my hands together and yelled, “I forgive you!”

  Quiet, I searched the forest for movement. Something skittered and squeaked in a tree above me. Birds twittered and leaves rustled in the breeze. Wolf was gone.

  I blinked back the pooling tears and swallowed. If he’d done something, I didn’t care. It was all part of God’s plan anyway. We each played a part. But I couldn’t tell him. Not if he wouldn’t listen. My shoulders sloped. I’d never felt so tired. I ducked under a thick branch and headed back to the group.

  An unfamiliar voice called me.

  Had I heard correctly? I didn’t move.

  “Fallon.”

  I’d heard that. I swung around. A dark-haired fasgadair with dull, hazel eyes stood staring. My breath caught. I fought my natural inclination to run. Should I? It didn’t appear he could harm me through the usual tactics. Would this one know that? Still, he could kill me. I wasn’t invincible. But wait. “How do you know my name?”

  “’Tis me.” He slumped his shoulders and dropped his head. “Wolf.”

  “Wolf?” I nearly choked.

  He nodded.

  “How could you…” I couldn’t form the words. “All this time…You were one of them?”

  He raised his arms, open, as if in surrender. “In all the time that I’ve been with you, have I ever hurt you?”

  I couldn’t think. My mind reeled. This was too much. This was Wolf. He’d protected me, hadn’t me? “What about Le’Corenci. You brought him to me. Did you intend to have me killed?”

  “Of course not. I’ve been with you all this time, Fallon. I was with you in your realm, watching over you, keeping you safe.”

  “For how long?”

  “Since you were t
hree. After your father died and your mother was captured.”

  I gasped. “Did you have anything to do with that?”

  His freaky eyes bulged. “Nay! I knew, without your parents, you’d need protection. So I came to watch over you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I knew your mother would want me to.” His eyes held mine, pleading.

  “It was you, wasn’t it? You chased me through the woods. You brought me here.”

  “It was part of the plan.”

  “Who’s plan? Your plan? What were you hoping to get out of it if you weren’t trying to kill me?”

  “Redemption.” He took a deep breath. “I was hoping…I know you have no reason to… Will you return me to my former self, Fallon? Will you make me a gachen again?”

  I stepped backward. “You knew?”

  “Nay. Not then. An angel visited me and only told me what I needed to do to be redeemed. I had no idea how it would come about. I only knew that if I trusted and obeyed, God would fulfill His promise.”

  I groaned. I’d barely recuperated from changing the others…and killing one. Was this how it was going to be from now on? No, with Aodan dead and my mother free, I’d fulfilled the prophecy. Wasn’t that all? Now what? Would I go home, or stay and help eliminate the fasgadair?

  “I understand if you refuse…and if you don’t trust me. I’m not worthy of redemption.”

  I hung my head and mumbled. “No one is.” Not even myself. Yet God saved me.

  Wolf silently closed the gap between us. “I never wanted any of this. There was no other way. I’ve denied my thirst, watched over you, and prayed to a God I thought would never hear me. But He did. He sent an angel to show me the way.”

  “So you did it all to save yourself.”

  “I became a fasgadair to save my people. I returned to you to keep you safe. I brought you back here and led Le’Corenci to you because the angel told me to. It was God’s will.”

  “You might die. I tried to change one fasgadair and he died. I don’t know why. I can’t control it.”