Astray

by J F Rogers

  “’Tis a chance I’m willing to take.”

  “Okay.” I nodded and moved my hair away from my neck.

  His eyes widened. He approached me with a tenderness the others had not. He was so gentle, I barely felt a thing, except love. I swooned with love for him.

  Please, God, let him be saved.

  His faced twisted in pain as he fell to the ground. He thrashed about in agony, his head coming close to a rock. I stepped between his head and the rock and watched, helpless. But this was how the two survivors had reacted. It was a good sign. Who was he anyway? What was his name?

  Finally his body spasms stopped. His breathing came easier, and color returned to his face. I sat on the ground, studying him. His shoulder-length hair, poufy from being tossed about in his fit, reminded me of the Wolf I’d loved. But the multicolored fur was gone, leaving this mystery man with black hair. He looked young, early twenties maybe.

  His hazel eyes blinked, full of pain at first, found me, and sparkled. A smile tugged at his lips. He winced as he pulled himself up to sit with me. “Thank you, Fallon. I am indebted to you.”

  I shook my head. “No. Like you, I did as I was told. I did my part. The thanks should go to God.”

  “And I thank Him as well. Still, if you hadn’t done your part, where would I be?”

  “I could ask the same of you. I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish any of this if you hadn’t done your part too.”

  “Agreed.” His smile warmed my soul. Something about his presence comforted me. He put his arm around me. I responded by leaning against him.

  “Is that the difference between you, Le’Corenci, and the other fasgadair?” I asked.

  “What difference?”

  “Le’Corenci said he denied his hunger. You said you denied your thirst. I assume that means the same thing. Weren’t you tempted to kill us?”

  “It was easier as a wolf. And I had to. It wasn’t a choice. I’d become a fasgadair to spare the lives of others, not kill them. God knew that. Le’Corenci did the same. He changed to keep his family safe. God knew our hearts.”

  “What’s your name?”

  “My fasgadair name was De’Mere.”

  “But what about—”

  “There you are, Fallon. We’ve been looking for…” My mother stopped in her tracks staring at Wolf.

  “Faolan!” she gasped.

  “Cataleen.” Wolf—I mean, Faolan—spoke her name slowly as he removed his arm from my shoulders and stood to greet her. “It’s been a long time.”

  He trembled.

  My mother flung herself into Faolan’s arms, erasing the worry lines from his brow. He sighed, closed his eyes, and smiled. His arms wrapped about her as though never wanting to let go, gently rocking her from side to side, and she melted in his arms.

  Cataleen pushed back to look at him. “You haven’t aged.”

  “No.” Faolan dropped his gaze. Shame crossed his face. “Fasgadair blood does that.”

  My mother looked confused. “You were—But then—How?”

  Faolan tipped his head toward me. “Fallon changed me back.”

  “Oh, thank God.” She hugged him again, and then pulled away. “Aodan is dead.”

  “I know.” He pushed her hair behind her right ear.

  “I should’ve—”

  “Shhh. There was nothing you could do. He made his own choices.”

  “Fallon’s blood changed him back.” She gazed at him, her eyes moist. Tears followed twin paths down her cheeks. “He could’ve been saved. Morrigan killed him.”

  “Accidently,” I interrupted their tender moment. “She was trying to kill me, not him.”

  Neither eye turned toward me. They were lost in each other.

  “He might’ve been saved. We don’t know. We can always hope. He could be with God right now.” Faolan’s eyes searched hers as he smoothed her hair. “I miss him too.”

  Wait a minute. Faolan. How did I know that name? Sully. Hadn’t Sully told me about him? Yes. Faolan was the friend who helped my mother escape to my realm. But how—

  Noticing I was still there, both my mother and Faolan freed one arm and held them out to me. I accepted their invitation and locked myself in their embrace.

  Thank you, God…for everything.

  Chapter Forty-One

  ◊◊◊

  THE SOUND OF A sharp inhale woke me. I lifted my head.

  Pepin sat upright on his bedroll, staring at me, his eyes wide. “Get up. Now.” He leaped to his feet, rolled his bedding, and shouted to the others. “Everyone. Pack your things. We must go.”

  Dread pooled in my gut, reminding me of all the times I’d wakened before a test and realized I hadn’t studied. Without word, I hurried to pack.

  Cahal armed himself with his battle-axe, threw his belongings over his back, and roused those our commotion hadn’t disturbed. “Prepare to move out.”

  We were perilously close to Ceas Croi…and nightfall. The sun was no longer visible behind the mountains. Its fading light cast shadows on those in different stages of waking. Grumblings and questions shot into the air.

  Pepin paused for a moment to scan the group. “I had a dream—a vision. A large pack of fasgadair will track us if we don’t move now.” He threw his belongings onto his back and focused on me. “Do you still have Sully’s dust?”

  My stomach plummeted. How could I have forgotten? I found the pouch and opened it. “A little.” I held it up, sheepish. I had failed to cover our tracks. We’d crossed a river, but the fasgadair could easily pick up the scent on the other side. How could I have been so stupid? And I’d been the one to suggest resting so close to dusk. Stupid…stupid…stupid…

  Pepin grabbed it and peered inside. “It will have to do. I’ll spread this around.”

  I stuffed my things into my bag.

  Pepin sprinkled the dust and shouted, “Go. I will go back a ways to cover our tracks and catch up later.”

  “Go back? No. It’s too dangerous.” I blinked back tears. Not another death because of my stupidity. I couldn’t handle it.

  Faolan laid a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll make sure he returns.”

  Not Faolan too. “But—”

  “It will be okay.” Pepin softened his voice. “I have seen this. We will find you. But you must leave now, or we will all die.”

  “Come, Fallon.” Evan grasped my arm and tugged, his eyes pleading.

  Declan placed a hand on my back and pushed. “Now.”

  Between the two of them, my feet moved then quickened.

  No one challenged Pepin further. We raced to the trees. I used my left hand to push branches out of my path. My right arm, bent before my face, protected my eyes. When we slowed to regain our breath, Pepin emerged from the brush behind us astride Wolf.

  Cahal was the first to question him. “What did you dream?”

  “An angel told me Fallon isn’t safe. Morrigan has sent packs of fasgadair in all directions. She wants her dead.” Green dust flew from Pepin’s dangling hands. He lifted the pouch with the remains of Sully’s powder. “This will confuse them. And as long as we stay on course to the north, they will not find us. But we must split up. At sunup, I will build a megalith. Wolf and I will travel to Fallon’s realm and take her home.”

  Home? I was going home?

  “The rest of you will continue north to the Ain-Dìleas through the Cnatan Mountains. Except you.” Pepin stopped, dismounted Wolf like an expert rider, and pointed to the young boy who had touched Drochaid in the cell.

  The boy almost ran into him. His eyes widened as he motioned to himself and mouthed a word that I assumed meant “me” in English.

  “Yes, you.” Pepin gestured him closer. “Your totem form is a cheetah, correct?”

  When the boy nodded, Pepin continued, “You are to run as fast as you can to Notirr. Warn them to leave, immediately. Fasgadair are on their way to search for Fallon. They are to travel f
irst to the Arlen in Kylemore, then to the Ain-Dìleas in Bandia. You are not to remain more than a day. They must pack and escape right away. There’s no time for the elders to discuss this, only to tell everyone to gather their things. They must leave before the sun sets. Understood?” Pepin’s eyes narrowed at the cheetah boy as if pushing the direness of the situation into his head.

  The boy, face solemn, nodded as if entranced.

  “Good.” Pepin gave a quick nod. “The Arlen can arrange for transportation.”

  “The Cnatan Mountains?” asked an emaciated woman. “We will never survive. Strong, able-bodied men die passing through.”

  My mother frowned. “And if we do make it, are we to stay with our enemies? They worship false gods. They started this. They’re responsible for Morrigan’s existence in this realm.”

  Pepin glanced at each of the women and then to the boy. “You must go, now. Warn the Cael.”

  The boy nodded. His arms and legs slimmed. His body pitched forward and landed on all fours. A light orange fur with black spots sprouted. His head elongated and whiskers protruded until the boy disappeared and a cheetah wearing his clothes stood before us.

  Declan helped him disentangle from his attire.

  Pepin grabbed his satchel, removed a rope, threw the remaining contents at Cahal, and stuffed the boy’s clothing inside. He secured it around the cheetah’s front legs and across his back, like a backpack. “I pray it won’t fall or trip you. Go. God be with you.”

  The cheetah nodded, let loose a birdlike chirping sound, turned east, and shot off through the woods.

  Pepin returned his attention to the women and the rest of the crowd that had gathered, belongings in hand. He grunted as he threw his pack over his shoulder. “Come, I’ll answer your questions as we travel. We will not be caught if we continue.” He hopped onto Wolf’s back.

  Wolf kept a steady pace, but not as fast as typical, allowing the woman fearful of the journey ahead to walk alongside so Pepin could answer their questions. Cahal was already far ahead, but still within sight. Declan, Evan, and I followed, attempting to listen to whatever Pepin might say.

  Pepin swayed on Wolf’s back, tufts of fur protruding from each hand. He addressed the woman who’d asked about the mountains. “Summer has not yet ended. The mountains are still passable. God is with you. It will not be easy, but He will see you through.”

  He twisted to my mother. “As for the Ain-Dìleas…right now, the fasgadair are a common enemy. That makes them our allies.” He paused for a moment, as if deep in thought. “Do you believe God could use anyone for His purposes, even those who don’t believe?”

  Cataleen nodded. “Of course.”

  “Remain faithful to our God, and all will be well,” Pepin said.

  “What about the Arlen?” Declan yelled at Pepin’s back. “Are they in danger too? Should we warn them? Should they travel with our people to the Ain-Dìleas?”

  Pepin nearly fell off Wolf trying to look back at Declan. He righted himself and called over his shoulder. “They will receive ample warning from your people when they arrange transportation to Bandia. A small pack of fasgadair will search for the Cael there. All but one will die. That one will return to Morrigan with news that neither the Cael nor Fallon is among them.”

  What had happened to Pepin in that dream? Suddenly he seemed to know the future of all of Ariboslia. Declan, Evan, and I picked up the pace to hear him better. The woman, her question answered, dipped her head slightly, gave a shy smile, and moved out of our way.

  “What about the megalith?” Declan gazed at Pepin, brows lifted. “Can you build one wherever you choose?”

  “I can.” Pepin sighed. “Not according to pechish law, but I can.”

  “You’re going to anyway?” I asked. “Even though it’s illegal?”

  Pepin nodded. “That I will. There is little time to deal with pechish courts. And as an outcast, my request would be denied. They don’t need to know. Besides, Cahal will knock it down once we’re through.”

  Cahal acknowledged the request with a grunt and a slight tip of his head.

  “So, why the three of us?” I asked.

  “Wolf can help us find our way to your home. He knows your realm. He will remain with you until the time of your return as he did before, for protection.”

  I tried to gauge how Wolf felt about this, but he kept his head low as he trudged on with Pepin on his back. I couldn’t even imagine. They’d just found one another again. And now they would be separated. Again. Because of me.

  Tears moistened my eyes. All these people, family, finding one another only to be broken apart again. I’d be going home. Just what I wanted. I swallowed hard. Everything was happening so fast. I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave. Then it dawned on me. I’d return. “I’ll be back?”

  “Yes. On the eighteenth anniversary of your birth, I will return for you. You may return with me then if you choose.”

  “Why go home at all? Why wouldn’t I just stay?”

  “I don’t know. But it doesn’t appear to be part of God’s plan for you to stay.”

  “We’ll need to gather forces, build an army against Morrigan,” Evan said.

  “You’ll be safer in your realm whilst we regroup,” Cataleen said.

  I sighed. They were probably right. I could go home, resolve things there, let Stacy and my grandmother know I’m still alive, and then return, ready to face whatever lay before me. At least, I hoped I’d be ready.

  Declan cleared his throat. “How will you choose?”

  “Choose what?” I asked.

  “Will you choose to return?” He glanced at me quickly out of the corner of his eye.

  Did I really have a choice? How could I start all this, then leave them to deal with it alone? Could I return to my old life, knowing what I knew? I couldn’t even imagine returning at all, going back to school. How dull and inconsequential it all seemed now. Then again, real danger existed here. “Did you see the future?” I asked Pepin. “Did you see what will become of me?”

  Pepin shook his head. “I only know that you have been gifted with the power to save the fasgadair with repentant hearts from damnation…and kill those without.”

  I took a deep breath and slowly deflated. Why was I hesitating? I already knew the answer. I stared at the side of Declan’s face. “Of course I’ll be back.”

  The corner of Declan’s mouth twitched, and his eyes softened.

  My mother kept glancing to Wolf and me. A tear slipped down her cheek.

  My heart ached for her. A lump formed in my throat. I stepped behind Wolf to come up by her side and lay a hand on her shoulder. “We will see you again.” I spoke with confidence, hoping my doubts wouldn’t reveal themselves, half waiting for Pepin to speak up and correct me if I was wrong.

  She wiped the wetness from her face, gave a faint snuffle, and smiled. “You will. I’m grateful for the time God already gave me.”

  The conviction behind her words strengthened me. The doubts fizzled.

  We continued until sunup. True to Pepin’s word, we didn’t encounter any fasgadair. The Cnatan Mountains loomed before us, stretching as far as I could see, seeming like an impenetrable force field. I didn’t envy the others their journey.

  We came to a brook. Everyone rushed to the edge for a drink and to wash their faces. Declan and Cahal refilled their water bags. Pepin dismounted Wolf and headed toward a large boulder on the opposite bank. His foot slipped and came up wet as he crossed. He grumbled the rest of the way.

  Wolf grabbed Declan’s sack in his mouth, crossed the brook, and disappeared behind a clump of tall bushes. He reemerged in Declan’s tunic and slacks, a little tight on his larger frame, and knelt beside my mother for a drink. They shared a quick smile before going for more water.

  The water felt wonderful on my dry throat. How much I’d come to appreciate the little things, which were actually quite big.

  Water bags full, Cahal turne
d to Declan and Evan. “Come. Let’s hunt.”

  Declan and Evan followed Cahal into the woods after our dinner. Even the idea of rabbit made me salivate. Meat. We all needed some sort of protein.

  Grunting, Pepin lifted the boulder and tipped it on its end so the length pointed toward the sky. I hopped along rocks in the water and made it across without slipping. I circled the balancing stone. How could it remain upright?

  Pepin returned with another, equally large rock. Veins popped out on his crimson face, the corners of his mouth pulled down with effort. He grunted and released it a couple feet from the first. He raised the second stone so it stood parallel with the other.

  “Need help?” Cahal asked, dropping the rabbit he’d caught, his eyes following the small man. Cahal, always so difficult to read, rarely changed his tone and didn’t possess a wide variety of facial expressions. Even so, he seemed amazed and impressed. Perhaps it was simply that he gave Pepin notice and offered assistance.

  The others took the opportunity to rest. I did the same as I watched Pepin carry another, larger boulder and place it atop the two. How did he get them to stand on end without toppling?

  Pepin brushed his hands. “It’s done.” He looked at me. “We’ll have one last meal before we return. We still have a considerable distance to travel to get you home. Will you build us a fire?”

  “Sure.” My body ached as I stood, but I gathered rocks and twigs. Plenty littered the near vicinity.

  Evan and Declan returned to a full fire with more rodents to add to the spit. Everyone gathered around the fire and ate their fill. Laughter and merry chatter filled the space. My mother sang the Ariboslian hymn. Those who were still awake joined her. I drifted off to sleep with a full stomach and a smile.

  ****

  “Ready?” Pepin nudged me.

  “What?” I wiped my eyes. It took a moment to return to reality. “Already? Don’t you have to cast a spell or something?”

  He tipped his head back and laughed. I took that as a no.

  “Cast a spell?” He chortled. “It’s not magic.”

  “What is it then? How do you do it?”

  “How do you change to a falcon? How does a bee make a hive? How does a spider spin a web? How—”