SPIN

by K. J. Farnham

  “What are you two doing over here all alone?” Tina asked in a sing-song voice.

  “Yeah, what’s going on here?” Delaney said in mock accusation.

  Corbin laughed, and smoke from his mouth wafted toward the girl. Tina waved a hand in front of her face and made a fake gagging noise, which made Corbin chase her around blowing his weed breath in her face as the pair made their way back to the rest of the group.

  Delaney took a seat next to Jenna and whispered, “Did I see you take a hit off Corbin’s joint?”

  “Maybe,” Jenna responded dully, too stoned to lie.

  “Jenna,” Delaney scolded, “what the heck is up with you lately? Dustin is going to be pissed if he finds out.”

  “Then don’t tell him.”

  “Pft. You know I won’t. But I think Tina might have seen too.”

  If Jenna hadn’t been feeling so relaxed, she might have been worried, but her train of thought had already switched tracks. “So, is Keeley still throwing herself at my cousin?”

  Delaney laughed, and Jenna tilted her head slightly, wondering if her friend thought she was only pretending to be irritated by it. Or was it possible that she hadn’t said it the way she thought she did? Her brain felt numb, so maybe that was it.

  “Oh, it isn’t just Keeley. Eli’s putting on the moves too. Keeley probably wants to tell you this herself, but he just asked her to homecoming!”

  “Wh—” Jenna began but never finished because Delaney started going on and on about homecoming. Where do you and Dustin want to eat beforehand? Should we get a limo? I think Corbin is going to ask me, and I heard Tommy was going to ask Tina tonight too, so the ten of us can probably go in on one together. We’ll need to go dress shopping either tomorrow or next weekend.

  The next two hours passed by in a blur for Jenna thanks to the fact that she was high as a kite and had managed to snag a fourth beer from some seniors who’d shown up. When Delaney and Jenna made it back to the group, Keeley and Eli immediately broke the news about homecoming to Jenna—Keeley did anyway while Eli stood next to her hoping Jenna wouldn’t be a jerk about it. He had been walking on eggshells around his cousin since school started, and he was praying that she’d eventually lose the chip on her shoulder, whatever it was about. Jenna continued to ignore Eli but acted happy for her friend who’d never been to a high school dance with a date before, not because no one ever asked her but because she never wanted to go with anyone before. As sick as the thought of Thomas’ look-alike going out with her best friend made her, she didn’t want to steal Keeley’s joy, so she stuffed her anger and disgust and acted like nothing was wrong—until her friends were ready to leave.

  “Hey, you guys ready to go?” Keeley asked Delaney and Jenna. She was standing in front of them, holding Eli’s hand. “I’m going to drop Eli off too. I hope you guys don’t mind.”

  Delaney nodded and said, “I’ll meet you over by the trail in a minute.” Then she looked over at Corbin, whose lap she was sitting on. They made plans to go to the mall the next day and said their goodbyes. Apparently, he’d asked her to homecoming and Jenna had missed it, and apparently, Delaney was ditching Jenna and Keeley to go dress shopping with Corbin instead.

  Jenna wanted nothing more than to go home at that point, but there was no way she was getting in a car with Eli. “Actually,” she said, standing, “I want to stay a little longer, so I think I’ll get a ride with someone else.”

  “Who?” Keeley seemed upset.

  “I don’t know.” As Jenna looked around at the people who were still there, a senior named Jayson spoke up.

  “I can give you a ride home, Kemp.”

  “I’m getting a ride home with Jayson,” she told a flabbergasted Keeley.

  “Well . . . why? I don’t—”

  “Come on, let’s just go. If she wants to stay longer, let her stay longer,” Eli said, giving Jenna a disappointed look and pulling Keeley to leave.

  To Jenna’s surprise, Keeley left without another word. Jenna knew if Eli hadn’t been with her, there was no way Keeley would have left her like that. By the time Delaney found out Jenna had decided to stay, they were already well on their way back to the car. And shortly after her friends were gone, Jenna was on her way to a party on the East side with Jayson and his two friends.

  The moment they walked through the door of the house on Hampton Avenue, Jenna wished she’d made Jayson take her home instead. Not only was the crowd a lot rougher than the one she normally hung out with, but she was starting to feel nauseous from the four beers she’d drank. As she looked around the dark, crowded, smoke-filled room, she wondered what the hell they were doing at a party like this anyway.

  “Jayson!” she yelled above the hardcore punk music that was blaring throughout the entire first floor. “What are we doing here?”

  He leaned into Jenna and was about to say something in her ear when Lou Tang appeared. Knowing that answered Jenna’s question, Jayson backed away from her and greeted Lou. Then he turned back to Jenna and yelled, “Be right back!” before following Lou into a room just off the living room.

  Great, Jenna thought as she looked around for the most likely place for a bathroom. There were way too many bodies blocking the hallway just past the room Lou, Jayson, and the other guys had gone into, so she decided to head straight up the stairs. There had to be a bathroom on the second floor. When she rounded the corner at the top, she came face to face with a tall guy with spikey black hair and gauges in his ears. Based on his appearance, she wasn’t expecting the soft, medium-pitched voice that came out of his mouth.

  “Whoa. Let me get outta your way, girl.” He lengthened his body and held up his hands, careful not to bump into Jenna as she tried to move around him.

  As Jenna squeezed past him, she heard her name. “Jenna?”

  “Leighton? Oh my God! I’m so glad to see you.” Jenna threw her arms around a stiff Leighton who gave her a few slow pats on the back and then pulled away.

  “You smell like beer . . . I can’t stand beer.”

  “Ahem . . .” the guy Jenna nearly collided with interjected, “Excuse me, but aren’t you going to introduce me to your hottie friend here?”

  Jenna eyed the guy, unsure whether she should be offended that he’d called her a hottie.

  “Don’t worry. He’s gay,” Leighton said, rolling her eyes. “Sticks, this is Jenna. Jenna, Sticks. Okay, can I use the bathroom now?”

  Sticks surprised Jenna with a hug. “Nice to meet you, girl. I wasn’t playing before. In case no one told you today, you’re gorgeous.”

  “Thanks,” Jenna said, smiling for the first time that night.

  “Leighton, I need fresh air stat. Meet you at the car.” With a parting peace sign, he headed down the stairs.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Jenna?” Leighton said, leaning against the wall. She was third in line for the bathroom. Jenna stepped behind her and leaned too.

  “I was wondering the same thing.”

  “Don’t tell me the rest of your friends are here too?” Leighton raised an eyebrow.

  “No, just me with a couple of seniors who are downstairs in a room with Lou Tang doing who knows what. I can’t believe they’re my ride home.”

  “Sticks can drive you home if you want. We’re leaving as soon as I GET INTO THE BATHROOM!” Leighton screamed the last bit causing everyone in line to look back at her, but they were all too messed up to react.

  Jenna laughed for the second time that night, but her amusement was short-lived because a text from Dustin came through.

  Dustin: I stopped at Jolliet. Where are you? Did you really leave with Jayson Morris??

  “What’s wrong?” Leighton asked, peeking at Jenna’s screen. “Whoops. Your boyfriend sounds mad.”

  Jenna contemplated whether to respond to Dustin by text right then or call him when she left the party, but she became distracted when the first person in line for the bathroom started pounding on the door. Then the second person started pou
nding too. After about a minute straight of pounding, a guy with his pants half off and a girl holding her shirt against her naked chest stumbled out. “Get a room next time,” the person in front of Leighton mumbled.

  Jenna watched as they stumbled down the hall to a closed door right across from where she and Leighton were standing. The guy opened the door wide, revealing another couple messing around. “Ooops, sorry,” the guy mumbled as he closed the door.

  The sight of the couple in the room made Jenna feel even more ill than she already did. It was the same feeling she’d get when she thought about what happened to her or when she was at church and at risk of bumping into Thomas. Jenna cupped a hand over her forehead and squeezed her temples.

  Leighton stopped laughing at the clumsy couple making their way farther down the hall when she noticed Jenna’s change in demeanor. “Why are you all pink and sweaty?”

  “It’s nothing. I just . . . they were . . .” Jenna glanced up at the closed door across from her and Leighton.

  “Getting it on? Yeah, that’s what people do at parties like this. Are you telling me you and What’s His Name have never—”

  Jenna shook her head.

  “Well, how long have you been dating?”

  “Officially, it’s been about a year. Unofficially . . . three years I guess.”

  “Well, he’s not going to wait for you forever.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Jenna asked, knowing full well what Leighton meant. It was something Jenna had been paranoid about, especially with her issue with being physical with Dustin.

  Leighton shrugged and entered the bathroom. It was finally her turn.

  While Jenna waited, she decided that Leighton was probably right. Then she wondered if she smoked a little pot the next time she and Dustin were alone if maybe she’d be relaxed enough to go through with it. And then maybe as soon as she replaced the horrible memories that had plagued her all these years with a good one, she’d be better able to forget what happened to her. But would it ever be a good experience for her? Or would she never be able to be intimate with anyone and have it be an enjoyable experience?

  Her phone vibrated again.

  Dustin: What’s going on with you? Did you smoke pot again?

  Dustin: Don’t bother calling or texting me tonight.

  Jenna quickly lowered her phone when the bathroom door opened.

  “You’re up,” Leighton said. “Make sure you hover.”

  September 17, 2017

  Dear Diary,

  The only good thing going for me right now is that I got out of going to church today. Everything else is a mess. Dustin and I are arguing. Keeley is dating Eli. My miles are taking longer and longer. I can’t sleep without taking a pill, or drinking, or smoking. I just want to go back to the way it was before they moved back. Trust me, I know how crazy that sounds. But before I was at least getting along with my friends, I liked going to church, and I was still running strong.

  Speaking of Dustin, he finally answered the third time I called him this morning. But the conversation didn’t go well. He hates that I smoked pot (even though he’s done it a bunch of times), he can’t believe I went to a party with a bunch of “losers,” and he thinks Leighton is a bad influence because she happened to be there. It didn’t even matter that she’s the one who rescued me and got me a ride home last night. And it didn’t even matter that I admitted it was a bad idea for me to go with Jayson. He had the nerve to tell me that I need to start making better decisions. Who is he now? My father?! Or should I say my mother? He actually sounded a lot like her.

  The thing that really pisses me off is that Dustin has no clue what’s really going on with me, and the way he’s acting is making it worse. I know it’s kind of irrational for me to be mad at him, and Keeley for liking Eli, and Eli for wanting to hang out with my friends, but what am I supposed to do? Gather everyone together and tell them exactly why I’m not acting like the Jenna they think they know?

  You know what? I take back what I said earlier about the only good thing being that I didn’t have to go to church today. There’s also Leighton. At least she makes me feel like I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

  ~Jenna

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Keeley

  Monday, October 30, 2017

  Three Days After Jenna’s Disappearance

  The sky is the most brilliant shade of blue I’ve ever seen, and it’s dotted with huge puffy clouds. Perfect for bunny rabbits, I think to myself. Wait, I’m not alone. I look to the right. Delaney is pointing to the sky and laughing, but there isn’t any sound coming from her mouth. I look to the left. Jenna has a sad smile on her face. It must be one of those days for her. She’s hugging her diary to her chest. I don’t say anything to her because she’d rather just spin when she isn’t feeling happy. And if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that a good spin can solve any problem. I reach over to pat her hand, but there’s nothing there. I look over at her again, and sure enough, she’s still hugging her diary. I reach out again, keeping an eye on her hand to ensure I make contact this time. But when I should be feeling the warmth of her skin, I feel nothing. There’s nothing there. I turn back to Delaney to ask if she can see Jenna, but all of a sudden, the merry-go-round picks up speed, and I’m forced to close my eyes to avoid getting sick. When I open them, I’m sitting at a table in the cafeteria at school.

  “Stay away from my family!” Jenna’s face is red, and specks of spit fall onto the table as she screams.

  Everyone except Delaney, Eli, and I either pulls their lunch trays back to avoid further contamination or stands and backs away from the table.

  “Jenna, why are you screaming?” Eli asks, his hands raised in a defensive pose.

  “Why am I screaming? If anyone should know, it should be you, you . . . you disgusting piece of shit! Why, Eli? Why are you here?”

  “Jenna, calm down. Otherwise—”

  “Otherwise, what?” She hisses at me. “Otherwise, I’m going to get in trouble for making a scene? Well, guess what. I don’t care!” She leans in close to me and whispers, “And you need to stay away from my family too.” Her expression is softer now and the tear that streaks down her cheek tastes salty. How is it possible that I can taste her tear? Wait, I’m tasting my own tears. I’m crying, and now everyone is looking at me instead of Jenna.

  “See, I told you she was going crazy,” Delaney says. She stands and joins the crowd surrounding us. Then she looks at Jenna and says, “You’re not my friend anymore. I don’t have to listen to you. I can babysit for whoever I want, and I can be friends with whoever I want.” She holds out her hands, and in a blink, Eli is holding one and Dustin is holding the other.

  “Come on, Jenna. Let’s get out of here.” The crowd surrounding us, which is now five students deep, parts where Delaney, Eli, and Dustin are standing, and Leighton squeezes through. “These aren’t your friends anymore. I’m your only friend now.”

  “It’s time to wake up, Keeley,” Jenna says as she slowly backs away from me. I look around and find that I’m the only person still sitting at the table.

  “Jenna, wait.” I look back to where she was standing, but somehow, she’s already standing next to Leighton and clutching her diary to her chest.

  “You need to wake up,” she says.

  “What?” I ask her, confused.

  “WAKE UP, KEELEY!”

  “I’m already awake,” I mumble as I open my eyes. “Oh, crap,” I say, throwing off my covers and stumbling to my feet. I grab my alarm clock and squint at the flashing red numbers. “What time is it?” I throw the clock down on my bed and rush to my desk to check my phone. “Seven fifteen?” I yell.

  “Keeley! Are you up?” My mom shoves my door all the way open and rushes to pull back my curtains. Sunlight pours into my room nearly blinding me.

  I bring my fists to my eyes and stumble as I head to my dresser. That’s when I notice the moisture around my eyes and chee
ks. I also bump my nightstand, causing the scrapbook Jenna made for me for my fifteenth birthday to fall to the floor.

  “The power went out last night. Hurry up. I’ll drive you to school,” she says as she scurries toward the door. “I don’t understand why your father didn’t wake me to tell me about the power or at least reset my clock before he left . . .” Her voice trails off as she heads down the hallway and continues to talk to herself.

  I scoop up the scrapbook and place it back on my nightstand, wondering if looking at it before I fell asleep last night has anything to do with the dream I had. There’s no time now, but I need to try to remember everything from the dream later. What if it meant something?

  As I get ready for school, all I can think about is Jenna’s diary. I’d forgotten about it until now, but she’s always writing in one—ever since we were in third grade. Maybe there’s a clue that explains what’s going on with her or where she went. I make a mental note to ask Mrs. Kemp if she’s seen the most current one. Of course, if she knows where it is, they’ve probably already thought to look at it or given it to the police. Or, if prayers really do work, maybe Jenna will be at school today.

  As I head down the hallway to the bathroom, I cross my fingers on my left hand the way we used to when we were kids and I don’t uncross them until I hop into my mom’s car. That’s another thing we used to do, cross our fingers for as long as possible in hopes that the longer we had them crossed, the more powerful the effect would be. It worked when we hoped we’d end up in the same fifth-grade class and when we hoped Delaney would make the cheerleading squad last year and a whole bunch of other times. I know these thoughts are childish, but I don’t care. It has to work this time too. Then again, maybe the magic of crossing our fingers only works when all three of us combine our efforts.