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Bramah and the Beggar Boy

Page 17

by Renée Sarojini Saklikar


  Everything then

  went vertical,

  cramped up and down,

  unit-living. When Aunty Pandy struck

  why, we just couldn’t———

  I remember those little shops,

  to be with you again, to drink tea and talk for hours,

  low ceilings, greasy cutlery, threadbare carpets.

  I remember how hard I tried not to look at you.

  Looked instead, at the bones in the hands of the server,

  only later, into your eyes. Abigail.

  And now—

  I remember fresh crisp Autumn air.

  Within Perimeter,

  outside Rentalsman,

  on the appointed hour,

  we are allowed to harvest rain

  and test for burns.

  Missing you, X

  Bartholomew

  As intercepted by the Investigator:

  Migrant Camp #3

  Dear Bartholomew,

  Do you ever miss the taste of blackberries?

  We camped out that night in X——

  Mid-range hotel, you recited every poem you knew,

  your fingers lifted a length of my hair, lips whispering,

  Blackberry blackberry.

  Yes, my lovely long absent B.

  That night in X, your words like wallpaper

  standing naked before me, back to the mirror,

  afternoon light: Zukofsky’s flowers, Pessoa’s disquiet.

  Library, you told me, miming, your hands in the air

  the shape of an old hard-bound book.

  We counted syllables together.

  Our eyes closed,

  we saw the earth, then, as green——

  I still haven’t given up hope

  A funny thing. Feathers and so on.

  Night groans with memory.

  Once you were as a boy with me and I—

  Without you, the night is no friend.

  Love, Abigail

  As Misdirected, holding zone, Outside Perimeter

  Dear Abigail,

  Yesterday, down by the river——they have us now in work gangs.

  Or, was the place, oceanside,

  that Pacifica, harbours closed,

  Harbourmaster imprisoned, any number of containers,

  bleached, migrant communities,

  militia not bothering, small shack where once the fishers,

  I saw a group of men and women,

  fingers on a scarred concrete table,

  gesture as if writing, heads bent, swaying left to right—Come, Bramah, they chanted—

  Around the dock, faded in grey, pallets, skeps of straw, gasoline soaked.

  No one with a match.

  A woman threw a bouquet of dried grasses,

  she said, There are no Beggar Boys left here

  to remember the names, to call the chants

  to bring the spell, to unlock the gate.

  Come Bramah.

  I hope to see you again, Abigail.

  (If this reaches you, pay the courier well

  his looks I fear, his intentions I doubt).

  As ever, I am yours,

  Bartholomew

  As confiscated by the Investigator:

  Migrant Camp #8

  Dear Bartholomew,

  Today would have been your birthday. I feel sure of it.

  I haven’t heard from you in so long but still wanted to write.

  Again how strange the workings of Consortium.

  To still get mail!

  I wanted to write words my aunty taught,

  from memory. Or, what we learned in that philosopher’s book

  gold and green, seen up on the highest shelf

  stolen goods stacked in the Militia House:

  I will write here on foolscap,

  gift from, well, yes, there, I must say it, a guard.

  He tells me my hair reminds him of a blue-black night.

  Happy Birthday darling:

  as though everyone served

  as though illusion that death

  as though all the books before

  as though all these melodies

  all this stored Time————

  Love, A.

  Locator: Unknown

  Status: Intercepted

  Dear Abigail,

  In the church at Aleppo, machines cut

  all their paintings. Let this letter be sealed.

  Al-Shabab! Bring copper or iron.

  Not authentic. Check online while e-pulses

  still available. Everyone’s private generator.

  And to Pacifica, then we came—shipped.

  Containers: ocean-going, from Japan.

  Separate, corrected for, spherical

  Apocope, the name of our familiar

  treasured. Rejected by most authorities—

  authenticity, doubtful. Hidden, unknown, spurious

  happiness, fleeting, amid fear to find

  talismans, ankh, tablet, pocket treasures.

  Such omissions spoke to us of rhythms

  loss borne in the cut of—

  Each letter of each word, the peeled core

  Inside, were syllables

  with each month, less able to speak

  only here, alone while paper and pen

  still given

  angled, language found its way,

  outside, to inner compartments.

  Your coal-black hair, your glossy brown skin.

  X, Bartholomew

  As held by the Investigator, three letters:

  Migrant Camp #3

  Dear Bartholomew,

  Yes. I am pretending everything did not happen.

  I woke up humming:

  Find our old Aunty, she’ll give you a clue

  This way, Abby-ji, for your Bartholomew!

  Before is also a Place. I’ve lost count of catastrophe.

  Our town lies dying in disarray,

  infrastructure decayed.

  Buildings sink, tilting and torn.

  Ceilings sag.

  Power lines, downed. Roads buckled and split.

  Sidewalks caved. No central heating anymore.

  We haul polluted water, metered out from the river,

  armed guards keep watch.

  Myriad DIY and clandestine operations flourish halfway up the hills.

  Water purification is busy business.

  Those townspeople who figure out a way to purify the filthy water

  charge exorbitant fees for tiny amounts and we do drink these.

  City trees, hoarded, chopped for firewood.

  Consortium decreed all of us:

  A Workers’ Brigade of women

  yet still we weep streetside, feet bandaged in rags or barefoot,

  each time a mother root ripped—

  Loving you always, Abigail

  Dear B.,

  Nights I chronicle.

  Days I survive.

  Confession: so lonely my limbs they find strangers,

  or imagine, fingers——

  River women provide a brisk trade:

  expired contraceptives and balms,

  pots and jugs of wax, rancid butter, too:

  for bruises.

  Just like those women of the Wishing Well. Ha!

  All services, from medical to electric

  hook onto one grid, Consortium-controlled.

  Set hours, on a charge basis.

  Conscripted, doctors, nurses.

  Everyone trades, barters, sells,

  cheats, lies, steals, hoards.

  We’ve our bodies and remembered skills.

  They keep the sick and the infirm outside, too.

  Not the aunties, though. And a few Old-Timers.

  Resilient! Thrifty, they sew, darn with needle and thread,

  Flour or whisky made from anything!

  There’s a brigade of them called Patch ’n Mend:

  my
paper and pencil suppliers, running out, of course.

  Last winter, Aunty Pandy hit us hard, surging———

  I did miss you, then.

  I am resolved to write,

  no matter what happens.

  Inscription tools and surface material:

  I think about these a lot.

  Dear Bartholomew,

  ——limited electric-hours, rationed,

  my pass digital, Consortium-approved.

  Barter! Radio and TV, broadcasts twice daily.

  Weather reports best from the Patch ’n Mends:

  each morning we go outside,

  sniff the wind, test direction,

  check for Burning Rain marks.

  No one wears masks.

  A few homes still stand Outside Perimeter,

  usually rented:

  here we barter, sell, cadge phone calls, pick up mail:

  the phone lines, totally Consortium-controlled.

  I’ve not seen a cellphone in ages——

  Mail is often hand-delivered,

  tower to tower and takes months, even years.

  Today, at the Fifth Gate, those Guards, their room

  where we all sign in, Consortium-approved,

  my eyes alight on a shelf of books, then

  quick, sweat on my wet forehead, I looked down

  my gaze on the gun, propped against the wall.

  Each night up at the Wishing Well we hear:

  Mind you never make eye contact,

  Them’s the ones that want in return:

  favours——and then the old ones laugh and cough.

  I am forever yours, A.

  Locator: Detention Centre C

  In the year of the reign, 20XX

  Video Surveillance Monitor Status: On

  Dear Bartholomew,

  Third Trimester Dream:

  pleasure an intensity to find, break

  midway, between carpels, separating,

  gynoecium silk tissue gampi and

  thirty thousand bees

  waxed.

  Locator: Detention Centre C

  In the year of the reign, 20XX

  Video Surveillance Monitor Status: On

  Dear Bartholomew,

  I love when my ways find me,

  Do you remember Aunty Agatha——

  those long summer days when seasons were true,

  seated across from dusty migrants, weaving,

  We must meet for sixty-four afternoons,

  at eight p.m. precisely, each Thursday.

  This were the first catastrophe, I think.

  Set testament down, she instructed.

  And we, all dutiful:

  Listen, there will be fear-gods everywhere.

  Do you remember her small strong brown hands——

  nails short, square, vestiges of pink paint, smoothed

  paper squares brought in on her way, ordered,

  off-white, neutral pH tissue:

  Overlay the story, interweave parts, she said.

  We all nodded, pretending to understand.

  Perfect for mending, she laughed, her voice hoarse.

  We sat side by side and did not wear masks.

  At night, hands on my belly, her words speak,

  Consortium-approved; midwives just laugh.

  I will write to you in any way I can,

  your loving Abigail

  Locator: Unknown

  Status: Intercepted

  Dear Abigail,

  —from the edge of the encampment known here as—

  Doctors recruited, worked to death, or shot anyway.

  A woman said to me:

  Yes, after he paid her for sex the second or third time,

  he, under kidnap, famous, others called him a great writer

  Je n’aurais rien à regretter

  The children of the camp sing, Been so long.

  At dawn, sweepers chant, Jump the fence.

  They speak it real soft and slow, brush, sweep, brush.

  At noon, during inspection, the children

  call out, voices parched from lack of water:

  Hey Barth-o-low-mew

  Hey, You Haven’t Got a Clue!

  I smile at them with their French, Cantonese and Gujarati.

  You would love them all.

  There’s an old aunty here, wizened, stooped low

  smooth brown skin though. Sparkling eyes, she laughs, slant,

  turns my palm upright, slowly shakes her head.

  If you send word, she’ll know where to find me.

  Tomorrow they transport us, the next camp

  infiltrators tell me, Cy-Board #6, tracked.

  Past midnight, echoes linger,

  Un coup de dés, jamais, jamais

  And I agree.

  I am writing to you always and a day,

  no matter what,

  I am yours,

  X. Bartholomew

  From Migrant Camps to the Stone Marker

  As Recounted by the Sole Woman Survivor, Migrant Camp #3

  They made me get rid of my red tattoo.

  This is what it said:

  (translated from the Gujarati)

  Those things that sought the light:

  I threw them into a bin of darkness

  ગુજરાતી લિપિ

  I bartered food for this Tale:

  The last place you’d want to go is here: Run!

  Our Grotto, shrine ransacked, icons strewn, gold

  And knew no other place to turn, corners

  On your knees, they will open your lips: talk.

  In Paris, that printmaker of Baghdad

  Those brigade boys chanting, out of sight, mind

  Blanket to blanket they slept under signs

  The Road to Ahmedabad, buses filled

  Historical, a method: tied, placed, set

  Blank Time, that terrifying space, between

  And headed to the old cemetery—

  Perimeter, City Centre, rubble

  They’ll gouge her eyes, that far shore, windy beach

  Woman alone at the end of the world.

  We called her Abigail.

  As Heard around the Migrants’ Campfire

  They say she arrived at the sound of the Beggar Boy chants:

  right as rain

  good as new

  c’mon Bramah, give us a clue!

  Huddled corners full, those child conscripts kneel.

  At first light, their small brown fingers grasp

  a Pippin File, a skeleton key and they

  looked up: Bramah winking! Her hands unlock

  the doors Consortium sealed them in, blasted———

  And did the aunties take the child, yes they did, yes they did

  the doctor and the beggar girl, the mother and the son.

  Jumped the fence

  you should too.

  Inscribed on the Walls of Migrant Camp #3

  Those children—

  Toxic Breeze!

  Use your Sleeve!

  Right as Rain

  Good as New

  Jumped the Fence

  You Should Too

  Roll Your Dice

  Don’t Think Twice

  Un Coup de Dés

  Jamais, Jamais

  There’s our Aunty Agatha!

  Where’s our Aunty Tabitha?

  Hey, Bramah:

  You R Our

  English-

  Masala Girl

  Your Lock and Key

  Will Set Us Free.

  The Tale of the Village Spy, Found in the Year 2087

  Yes, they came for her, the woman nam
ed A.

  No, of course I didn’t get paid. Did my duty.

  What? Well, she bloody well had it coming.

  Never fails. Them righteous. Too smart for their own good.

  Look at me. I’ve done all right, haven’t I?

  And look at our Betty then, just look at her!

  Nothing wrong turning in a few words:

  –—Them with their stockholders’ meetings

  –—I read things, too, you know.

  ——Betty, I says, resistance is futile.

  Oh, we had a good laugh, just look at us.

  Aren’t I right, then? Everythings all bought and paid for.

  Makes no difference in the end.

  She should have bloody well just done the same,

 

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