Shelter from the Storm

by Patricia Davids

  Roscoe sat with his tail wagging slowly and his gaze pinned to Jesse’s face. Jesse sighed. “I’ll tell you why. Because those are the qualities I hope to find in a wife someday. And that is a ridiculous thought. As odd as it sounds, Gemma and I have become friends.”

  Still, the nagging feeling that she needed him wouldn’t go away. He stared off into the distance until Roscoe whined again. Jesse patted him and resumed walking. There was nothing he could do for Gemma and her baby. He had to accept that.

  Chapter Nine

  Gemma sat silently beside her father in their buggy as he drove home. The moment she dreaded was fast approaching and she wasn’t sure she could go through with it.

  “Are you all right, daughter?”

  She started to say she was fine but remembered how much Jesse disliked her use of the word instead of an honest reply. “I’m tired, and my foot aches.”

  “We will be home soon. Tonight, you can rest easy in your own bed.”

  “That sounds wunderbar.” If only she could put off telling her parents about her condition until another time. But doing so would only make it harder.

  Gemma stared out the window and saw they were approaching Bethany and Michael’s house. Bethany stood at the front door. She waved when the buggy drew close enough. Gemma waved back. There was so much she needed to tell her friend. She needed Bethany’s advice and her support. Hopefully she would remain a friend after she learned of Gemma’s transgression.

  The buggy rolled on and Gemma’s home came into view. The tall two-story house, painted white with black shutters, looked inviting with lamplight shining from the windows. Her mother’s beautiful flower garden was covered with snow, but she had colorful bird feeders arranged where she could view them from her kitchen window. The big red barn with white trim looked immaculate against the snowy backdrop.

  “It’s good to be home,” she said quietly and realized it was true. She had never appreciated the love and care her parents lavished on their property. The work of tending the flowers, caring for the animals, even painting the barn had seemed like tedious chores. Now she hoped she could do those things again, only this time it would be with a glad heart if her parents allowed her to stay.

  Her mother came rushing out of the house when her father stopped the buggy by the front gate. Gemma got down and was immediately embraced by her mother. Gemma kept the coat between them, not wanting her mother to notice her condition. Tears stung Gemma’s eyes, but she refused to let them fall. There would be time for tears later.

  “It’s so goot to have you home at last. Come in out of the cold,” her mother said as she slipped her arm around Gemma’s shoulders and began shepherding her to the front door. Inside the warm house, the familiar smells of home bombarded Gemma. Her mother had been baking. The smell of bread, fresh from the oven, dominated the air but under that, she could smell the scent of cooking chicken, her mother’s pine cleaner and the lemon polish she used on the furniture.

  “Let me take your cloak.”

  Gemma handed it over, feeling self-conscious about her growing figure. Her mother didn’t seem to notice the change beneath her loose dress. They went into the kitchen, where her mother began fixing a cup of tea for each of them. She had chicken noodle soup cooking on the stove. “Supper is almost ready.”

  “I’ve missed your cooking.” Gemma took a seat at the table and listened to her mother’s happy chatter. Before long, she was up to speed on the inhabitants of New Covenant. Her mother was one who enjoyed gossip and was happy to share what she knew.

  Gemma’s father came in, stomping the snow from his boots on the porch before stepping inside. He unbuckled his overshoes and pulled them off. He set them on a large tray meant to catch the melting snow beside the door. “It’s going to get cold again. My arthritis tells me we’re in for a long winter.”

  “You should have chopped more wood before now,” her mother said. “We will run low by next month.”

  Her father shrugged. “I will have Jesse help me cut and haul some in. He’s always glad to lend a helping hand.”

  Gemma took a sip of tea from the cup her mother handed her. She set it down carefully and waited until her mother served up bowls of hearty soup loaded with vegetables, tender chicken and her homemade egg noodles. A plate held warm mini loaves of bread and a crock of fresh butter. It was the best meal Gemma had eaten in her life despite her nervousness.

  When the supper dishes were cleared and her father had refilled his coffee cup, she said, “Please sit down, Mamm. I have something to tell you both.”

  “What is this news?” her mother asked over her shoulder as she rinsed the last plate.

  “Come sit down, Mamm.”

  “I can listen standing up.”

  Gemma bowed her head. “I’m so sorry about this. I didn’t know what else to do, so I came home.” She looked up to see her mother’s puzzled expression slowly change to disbelief. She stopped drying her hands at the sink.

  She met Gemma’s gazed for a long moment, then tears filled her eyes. “Oh, nee.”

  Her father stared between the two of them with an expression of confusion. “Oh, what? Why are you crying, Mudder?”

  “Because I’m going to have a baby.” Gemma covered her face with her hands as tears slipped down her cheeks.

  “I don’t believe it,” he declared. “My daughter would not behave in such a wanton fashion.”

  “I’m sorry, Daed. It’s true. I thought he loved me and that we would marry, but he left and never came back.”

  “Who is he? I’ll speak to his father and see that he makes this right.”

  “I don’t know who his father is. He told me his family was from Ohio and that’s all he told me. I have no idea how to find him.”

  Her father’s face grew red. “Gemma, how could you disregard the teaching of the church? I don’t know what to say. How can I hold my head up among the congregation? I am a minister now. I oversee the flock along with the bishop. I will become a laughingstock, a preacher who couldn’t raise his own daughter to be chaste.”

  She shrank from his words. It was what she had expected, what she deserved, but it was still painful.

  “Hush, husband. This isn’t about you,” Mamm said quietly when she had composed herself. “This is our child, and she is in trouble.”

  Gemma wanted to throw herself into her mother’s comforting arms.

  He rounded on his wife. “Are you not ashamed of her? How will you hold your head up in church when this becomes known?”

  “Church is not a place to hold up your head. It is a place to bow low before God.”

  Some of the bluster left her father’s face. Gemma was grateful for her mother’s intervention. “I know I have shamed you. I am truly sorry.”

  Her mother folded her hands together on the table. “Is this the same young man you were seeing in Florida?”

  Gemma nodded.

  “I thought he was an Amish boy.” Her father’s frown was back.

  “He is Amish, but he had not been baptized.”

  Daed shook a finger at Gemma. “You have been. You should have known better. And don’t tell me I’m wrong, wife.”

  “You are not wrong, but spilled milk can’t be put back in the glass. Many a young woman has lost her common sense in the heat of the moment. It isn’t an excuse, but it happens. We must decide what to do now.”

  “We won’t have any success getting someone from here to marry her when word gets out. I’ll have my brother in Lancaster find a fellow. There must be some man who will marry her once he learns he will inherit this farm one day.”

  Gemma stared at her clasped hands. “I don’t need a husband.”

  “What do you want to do, Gemma?” Mamm asked gently.

  “At first, I thought I could go and stay with Cousin Shelia or Cousin Donna May and give the child up for adoption whe
n the time came.”

  “Ja, that is a goot plan,” Daed said. “That way, no one has to know about this.”

  Mamm scowled at him. “You would give away your grandson or granddaughter before you have even looked upon the child’s face? Have I married such a heartless man?”

  “I don’t want to give up my baby anymore. I want to raise my child myself.” Gemma glanced between her parents, hoping they would understand.

  Her father shook his head. “We have given you everything you ever wanted, Gemma, and this is how you repay us—by bringing shame on our heads. Nee. You will not live in my home as an unwed mother. You will marry. I will arrange something as quickly as possible.”

  “Nee, Daed, please. I don’t wish to marry.” The thought of it made her sick.

  He silenced her with a stern look. “There will still be talk when the child arrives early, but having a husband will provide some protection for you and the child from gossip. You will make a private confession to the bishop as soon as possible. I’m finished talking.” He rose to his feet and left the room.

  Gemma turned to her mother. “He can’t make me marry someone I don’t know.”

  “This seems harsh, but I have to agree with him. With a husband, you and your babe will have security. Affection can grow between two people who respect each other and work together for the good of the family.”

  “I’m not looking for love. It may exist for others but not for me. Not anymore.”

  “It may feel like that now, but time has a way of healing our hurts.”

  “There is something else you need to know. The doctor said I will need a hospital delivery. I have something called placenta previa.”

  Her mother’s eyes widened. “I know of this condition. We should ask the midwife in to see you soon. She will know how best to care for you.”

  Mamm leaned back in her chair. “Finish your tea, Gemma. We will talk more about this in the morning.”

  Gemma nodded but knew this had only been the first hurdle on her journey. Which way the road led from here was known only to God.

  After praying for guidance, something she had rarely done since leaving home, Gemma crawled beneath the heavy quilts she and her mother had made together. Her eyes burned from weeping, and her heart ached worse than her ankle. Snug and warm in a soft bed for the first time in days, she lay curled on her side in a state of half waking. Uncertainty kept her awake. Was she being selfish, wanting to keep her child? Wouldn’t it be better to give her babe a mother and a father? Could she marry a man she didn’t know? What if they didn’t get along? She shivered at the thought. Finally she fell asleep without reaching any decisions.

  She rose early the next morning and went downstairs. She found her parents both at the kitchen table. They appeared tired and worn. She wasn’t the only one wrestling with the future.

  Daed wouldn’t meet her eyes and Gemma’s heart sank at his cold expression. He rose and walked to the kitchen window. “Someone just drove in.”

  “Who is it?” Mamm got up to put a kettle of water back on to heat.

  “I think it’s Jesse.”

  “What is he doing here?” Mamm looked at Gemma.

  “I have no idea,” Gemma said, wondering the same thing.

  * * *

  Jesse entered the house and saw Gemma’s father scowling at him. “This isn’t a good time to visit, Jesse. Can it not wait until tomorrow?”

  “Maybe it could, but I would rather do it now. I have some business I’d like to discuss.” He’d spent a restless night worrying about Gemma and her family’s reaction. He needed to see how she was getting along.

  Gemma’s father gestured toward the living room. “Come in and have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”

  Jesse shook his head. “I’d like to speak to Gemma for a minute, if you don’t mind.”

  Her parents looked puzzled but got up and left the room.

  Gemma leaned toward him. “What are you doing here?” she asked in a small whisper. She looked pale, tired and on the verge of tears.

  “I wanted to see how you are feeling. Have you told them?”

  “I did.” She kept her face down. He wished she would look at him. He wanted to see her eyes.

  “And?”

  “Daed was upset. Mamm was sad and disappointed, but she didn’t judge me harshly.”

  “The hard part is over, then. Have you decided what you are going to do?”

  “Father wants to arrange a marriage for me to help quiet the scandal. He’s going to have his brother in Lancaster find someone willing to wed me. He is offering to let some fine fellow inherit this farm if he agrees. Apparently gaining good farmland can offset having a sullied wife.”

  That Leroy was willing to go to such lengths surprised him. “I see. Do you wish to marry?”

  “Nee. I don’t want to spend my life with some stranger. I want to keep my baby, but Daed says I can’t live in his house as an unwed mother. I’ve been thinking I might go to live with one of my cousins until the baby is born. Then I will try to resume my life somewhere.”

  “Somewhere but not here?”

  She shook her head still without looking at him. “I don’t think I can stay here. My folks will always know what I’ve done.”

  “You made a mistake, Gemma. You have to forgive yourself too.”

  “Perhaps in time.” Finally she looked up at him. “Only...”

  “Only what?”

  A tear slipped down her cheek. “Only I don’t want to move away from my family and my friends, and I don’t want to marry someone who only wants my father’s land. What shall I do?”

  He wanted to draw her into his arms and comfort her, but he knew such action wasn’t proper. “I don’t know the answer. I wish I did.”

  She wiped her cheek and drew a deep breath. “It isn’t fair of me to ask you. This is my problem. I’ll solve it. What business do you have with my father?”

  “He bought the land I wanted at the auction I missed. I came to see if he’d be willing to sell it to me for a small profit.”

  “I hope he will. You missed your chance to buy it because you stayed with me.”

  “Gott allowed it. He must have something else in mind for me.”

  She laid a hand on her abdomen. “I wish I knew what he had in mind for us.”

  He gestured toward her foot. “You should go put your foot up so the swelling doesn’t come back.”

  She sent him a tiny smile. “Is that your way of getting rid of me?”

  “I thought it was kinder than saying you look worn-out. If we were back in the cabin, I’d tell you to go lie down.”

  She rose to her feet. “If we were back in the cabin, I’d tell you to go eat bark.”

  He grinned. “I can bring some over for you later.”

  Waving her hand, she declined. “I think not. A nap sounds much more appetizing. Thanks for coming to check on me.”

  “Isn’t that what friends do?”

  She smiled and nodded. He watched her leave, limping slightly, and then went in to speak with her father.

  Leroy was seated in his blue overstuffed chair with his feet on a matching ottoman. Gemma’s mother was on the sofa. She rose and left the room without speaking.

  Jesse took a seat in a straight-backed chair close to Leroy. “I heard you bought the land that borders mine.”

  “You heard right. It’s a fine piece of ground.”

  “I thought so too. I had hoped to get in my bid but that didn’t happen. Would you be interested in selling it to me? I’m willing to see you make a profit on it.”

  Leroy ran a hand down his beard. “I can see why you’d want it. Let me think it over.”

  “Fair enough. That’s all I can ask.” Jesse rose to his feet to leave.

  “Before you go, let me ask you something.”

>   “Sure.”

  It took Leroy a moment to phrase his question. “A year and a half ago Gemma embarrassed you with unwanted attention. She embarrassed us, as well. Be honest with me. Did she continue that when you were together?”

  Jesse shook his head. “She didn’t. She was considerate, uncomplaining and worked hard to make the best of a bad situation. No one could fault her behavior. In fact, I came to admire her spirit.”

  “I’m glad to hear you aren’t disgusted with her anymore.”

  “She has changed a great deal.”

  Leroy frowned. “More than you know.”

  Jesse hesitated. He didn’t think Gemma had told her parents he knew her secret, but he thought Leroy deserved to know. “I’m aware of Gemma’s condition.”

  “You are?” Leroy seemed to sink into his chair. “How many other people know?”

  “Only me. I won’t say anything.”

  Sighing heavily, Leroy glanced at the door his wife had gone through. “It will come out sooner or later. As you might imagine, my wife is heartbroken. We are struggling to know what to do and praying Gott shows us the best way to help our daughter. I will speak with the bishop today.”

  “He is a goot man. He will give you sound advice. I should get going. I told him I’d be in to work today.”

  “Let him know I’ll be in later.”

  Jesse nodded, put on his hat and left. Outside, he opened the door of his buggy and looked over his shoulder at the house. He saw Gemma standing at a window upstairs. He raised his hand in a brief wave. She opened the window and leaned out. “Did he sell it to you?”

  “He’s thinking about it.”

  “At least he didn’t say no.” She closed the window and waved, but she looked sad and lonely. She turned away and once again he was left with the feeling that he should do something to help her.

  * * *

  Her parents were out when Gemma came downstairs. She pulled on her old coat and boots and headed toward Bethany’s house, using a stout stick to help her walk. She prayed her friend would be home and the children would be already gone.