The Switchblade Mamma

by Lindsey Schussman

  16.

  The week went on at a normal pace. Every day I was awoke at the crack of dawn. I was fed, I trained, I was fed again, I trained and I was fed again. After dinner as usual, I helped Paige with the dishes. I slept, I had nightmares. Yelling occurred and once again Paige was by my side, arms wrapped around me. The nightmares were horrific, but I had no complaints about Paige. Tuesday, Wednesday and finally Thursday was in our midst. Without nightmare and yelling, Paige just came into my room. She waited of course until everyone was settled down and fast asleep.

  It wasn't until she was in my bed, arms firmly wrapped around me, that I popped the question. It was not the official question everyone pops, but still it was on my mind. "Do you think tomorrow we could take a walk on the beach?"

  "And miss your training?"

  "No, I can still train, just afterward. Make a stew tomorrow, or some chili. Something that will need to simmer for a while. Just come get me from training a little bit earlier." I said.

  "Okay, it's a date." Paige replied.

  The night was short-lived. I slept soundly of course with Paige's arms wrapped around me. The better I slept, the quicker the night was.

  It was of course the usual morning. I awoke with her side of the bed vacant. I rose, stretched and took a shower.

  I dressed myself, ate and followed Fitz down to the training room. My knife skills were way improved. The switchblade and the Spyderco were appropriately clipped upon my pants pockets in such an order that I would pull out the switchblade first with my right hand and reach for the Spyderco with my left.

  I was without a doubt so very happy and impressed with my improvements. There was however, the sadness that plagued the back of my mind which Kept reminding me every day of how much of a monster I was becoming. But the happy endorphin's were outweighing the monster part. I couldn't help but to continue on and give it 110%.

  It was mid-afternoon when Paige dropped off lunch. Fitz and I ate quietly, conversing lightly, occasionally as we usually did. We would never talk about current events, mine or his past life. We would always discuss the task at hand. Fitz was always a supportive trainer. I was so glad to have him in place of Barrett or Clive. I didn't think I could get through any of this without Fitz.

  Quietly he chewed his sandwich, until his eyes lit up and he had something to say. "Well, my dear Switchblade, tomorrow is Friday. You have one more day until your next fight. How do you feel?"

  I swallowed the moist chewed bit of sandwich. There was without a doubt in my mind, that I had butterflies, a butt load of butterflies. After my talk with Paul Bishop and realizing that I had to up my game or lose my life, I felt discomfort in what I would have to do, but at least I gained confidence in the fights to come. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't be the scared little girl to walk up the platform and onto the killing floor. I would be bold, I would be vibrant. I would show everyone that there was someone to fear, me. I would give Paul Bishop what he wanted, what the crowd wanted. No matter what, I would keep a virtue of mercy. Beat them to a bloody pulp, but keep them breathing. With that in mind, I answered Fitz. "Well, I can't lie. I'm anxious as hell. Honestly, the feeling I'm getting is a lot like the feeling that I got when I used to sing karaoke. You know, right before I sang. No matter how many times I sang karaoke and I was good at it, I still got butterflies. I'm feeling that right now."

  "Good." He said. "So you still feel emotion, you still feel something?"

  "I do."

  "Good, because without emotion, there is no heart and without heart there is no life. If you lose your heart, then you will surely truly lose the fight. Your heart, which will burn brightly and hurt, will keep you alive. If your heart dies, than so will everyone else."

  Fitz was right on the mark. He could not have been any more correct about the statement. He had worked with many girls before. He had seen many girls fight and lose their lives. He had seen many girls lose their faith and their heart. It was only my second fight. I was losing the light as far as I had known and each and every day that I trained was another day that I lost some more light. I wondered how long it would be until I completely lost it all together.

  "Been lost Lill, where are you?"

  I heard it, but I did not respond. I finally came out of my trance and shook my head. "Huh? Ohh, sorry, I was thinking."

  "There are, in one's life, many paths that one must take. There are roads that we take that lead us to the places that we want to go. There are roads that we take; we must take because others enforce it. Many paths surround us. Regardless if we want to take them or not, we must be righteous about those paths. At this point my friend, you find yourself on the path that was enforced by another. Just because it was forced on you, does not mean you cannot control it. I tell you this, my friend, a friend that just like you, who is entrapped by the same circumstances. Your path has been chosen for you. You must make it your own and plant some flowers, if you know what I mean."

  So very true was the words spoken from his mouth. So very true were the words that would give me the energy to continue on and hopefully not become a monster. How honorable and honest this man was. I was glad to have met him. I was glad to have him as trainer and I was glad to hopefully have a friend.

  We finished our lunch and we continued to train. The knife work, the punching, the moves, everything. Thursday was dawning to an end and my walk upon the beach was nearing. I was becoming giddy as a schoolgirl. As the day trailed on, I was becoming less and less focused. Fitz noticed, but he didn't mind. He knew that I had done well all week and he knew that I had something up my sleeve. Something that would keep me real and keep me happy.

  Like clockwork, Paige opened the door to the training room and peeked her head in. "Fitz, may I borrow Lill a few minutes early?"

  Knowing it was coming, Fitz nodded and smiled. "Yes you may."

  I, with great satisfaction, left the confines of the stuffy training room and followed Paige upstairs. As we walked up the stairs and entered the garage, I followed Paige out the side door.

  The door opened and I followed Paige out, with big smile plastered from ear to ear. The moist ocean air struck me with such great awe. I stopped at the last bit of concrete and removed my shoes. Paige took a few steps ahead of me and stopped. She turned and watched me as I took my first two steps onto the cool beach sand. She watched me as I experienced a brief euphoria.

  I was only one step from the concrete, but I placed both feet firmly onto the sand. I wiggled my toes and let the sand silk through them. Paige giggled. She reached out her hand and I took it. She led me down the beach and to mild surf.

  It was of course cold weather, but I did not care. I was still wearing my warm-up shorts and shirt, still hot from the workout. The cool brisk ocean air was gratefully appreciated upon my sweaty skin. I took a deep breath and exhaled. My endorphin's exploded.

  The sand was dry upon my feet, but as soon as we met the sand where the rolling waves made love to it, I felt the stiff dampness between my toes. There was nothing left but complete and utter satisfaction. Without words, I held Paige's hand in mine. We walked and watched the sunset. We listened to the waves as they made love to the beach. Words could never describe what I was feeling at that moment. Words could never describe my complete content with the world. I could only think, I could not say. While we walked together, I looked into Paige's eyes and realized that there was no one else in the world but her. If there were any reason that I was there, in the mayhem, it was because she needed me. If my path was chosen for me, at that point, I was planting my bloody flowers.

  The bliss was shortly lived. As soon as the sun faded beyond the horizon, Paige and I walked back to the beach house. The chili was simmering and I sat at the table before anyone else. It was Clive's big belly that brought him in first. Barrett stammered in and then Fitz, showered and freshly cleaned. It was Friday night, the eve before my next fight. The nervousness returned. I sat uneasy at my place at the table. Chili, was served
to everyone else before me. As soon as my plate was placed in front of me, I noticed the extra cheese.

  I smiled and dug in. With the flavors bursting in my mouth, I was content. Chili was a dish short-lived. Chili was awesome, but never so often served. I appreciated its warmth and its flavors. The semi-melted cheese added an exciting texture to it. It was the flavors bursting in my mouth that was on my mind, but to everyone else, it was Saturday's fight. I was not thinking of anything but chili, but to my right, Barrett began to speak.

  "Tomorrow kid, you'll watch videos of your next bout. Watch them carefully, because you need to learn her moves."

  "And this would be serial Carol?" I asked.

  "She'd be a tall skinny bitch, but dat girl got moves." Clive replied.

  "Gravy.? How come you guys did not show me videos of Big Bertha?"

  "It didn't occur to us. After your fight with her, we realized that you needed to see some girls in action. It was also requested by Mr. Bishop." Barrett's bowl of chili was completely cleared. Paige served his usual cup of coffee after dinner. It was hot so he sipped at it slowly. "Your last fight, to say the least was a bit disappointing."

  "Seriously? Even though I still won?" I asked.

  "Yes. Your entrance was flimsy. Your overall energy was just completely scared. You have to get out there and be that crazy bitch. You do what you have to do to win the crowd, but most of all you do what you have to do to win."

  It wasn't enough that I had won, but I also had to be a crazy bitch while doing it. Being a crazy bitch was not in my vocabulary and even though I was being trained to be a crazy bitch, I could still not fathom playing the part. I said nothing. I just nodded my head and finished off the last bits of my chili.

  "She is doing very well with her knife work. I am supposing, Saturday, even with the risks at hand, we shall see the Switchblade Mama at work, Lill?" Fitz asked. He was a tall slender man and stood above all. He was a righteous man and seemed to have been to hell and back. Through all his pains and his woes and even though he had to train women to do hideous acts, he still took the time to keep his head up high.

  "I have been carrying knives for majority of my life. I'm finally pleased to say that I'm actually trained in how to use them properly." The words just slipped out of my mouth. I was somewhat repulsed by the fact, no matter what, it was true. I had carried them, but only used them to cut boxes open, or cut miscellaneous things. What I had said was a complete true fact. I finally knew how to use a knife, defensively.

  Clive smiled. "Oh I can't wait to see dis."

  With dinner complete and the boys leaving the table, Paige and I cleaned the dishes. My tummy was full and pleased, but my nervousness returned. I was known to be very silent during nervous and trying times. I spoke not one word Paige. I just helped with what had to be done, before I would have to be walked upstairs, shower and be greeted by disastrous nightmares.

  Paige dried off a dish and handed it to me to be put away. "So, what did you do before you came here? You know, what was your life before we ended it?" She asked cautiously and lightly.

  "Let's be clear on this." I said. "I was forcefully brought here and I would rather not share that portion of my life until I at least get through this first season."

  Paige nodded. "I understand."

  It was a harsh statement on my behalf, but it was true. I couldn't say that my life, prior to being brought into hen fighting was the greatest, but at least I had a life. These days all I did was eat, sleep and shit mayhem. I was kept in a cold dank barn cellar for almost a year of my life. All I could do to clean myself, was with water and soap from the sink. For the first couple months of my life, I was chained like a vicious beast. For the last year of my life, I used wooden planks to sleep on and one old ragged comforter to block out the cold. I was nervous and I was mad. I was taking my madness out on Paige. I didn't want to, but I did.

  As the dishes were washed and the kitchen was cleaned, Paige walked me up the stairs and into my room. "I will be in later, if you wish."

  I agree the tone of my voice was not the best. I agree there was some hostility in the words that I spoke. But no matter what, I wished that Paige would sleep by my side. Her comfort gave me sweet dreams and a good night's sleep. I did feel bad for the words that I spoke, but no matter what, they were true.

  As Paige leaned in through the doorway, I hesitated on my answer. I sat on the bed for a moment, but finally looked up as the words came to me. "Please. I would love nothing more, Paige."

  She disappeared from the doorway and I was once again left alone with my despair, my confusion, my hate and my anger. I sat on the bed for some time. I held out my hands and watched them as they slowly shook. Throughout the whole day, my body slowly began to ache. The pain began with my hands and slowly spread out throughout my body. I looked at my hands, tiny scars and all. Tiny incisions made to compound my bones with a new type of lightweight but indestructible metal. I was becoming less and less human every day. I was losing my grip on reality.

  I pulled off my sweaty smelly clothes and showered. After the shower, I walked outside into the balcony. There was a low pressure moving through and the night sky was filled with dark purple clouds. The air was humid and moist and smelt of rain. I leaned up against the wooden balcony, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Like flaying rags, my PJ's rolled with the stormy wind. I sat out there for a while, watching the waves as they rolled upon the beach. It began to lightly sprinkle rain. It wasn't until it began to rain harder, that I left the outside. Every time I went back inside, I looked up at the camera that was overseeing the balcony and smiled. Letting whoever know that was watching me, I still had not escaped.

  I laid myself down onto the bed. Sleepless, I stared up into the ceiling of the room. I listened to the rain as it pattered on the balcony. I remembered nights when I was young and my mother would try to put me down to sleep. I was a hyper little girl then, and sleep never came easy. I remembered how I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I remembered waking up in the morning and wondering, at what point did I fall asleep?

  As time passed and my eyes begin to fuse with the ceiling, everything seemed to melt together and become darker and darker. The time came. My eyelids finally drooped and closed. Sleep was finally achieved.

  It was a clear morning, but the clouds began to move in swiftly. The temperature cooled and the air became brisk. I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets. I balled them, trying to keep them warm from the battling cold. My father was always a swift walker, no matter what terrain; he conquered it with no problem at all. I followed him, but due to his speed, I was always behind him. It wasn't until we came to a clearing that I noticed little white things falling from the sky. I looked up into the cold dark gray clouds and saw as snow had begun to flurry. It was the first time I had ever seen it snow and to me, it was the first time I had ever witnessed a miracle. I finally got to see that the snowflakes weren't giant after all, but so very tiny, so very a delicate and intricate in design. My father who had grown up in Michigan, to him this was nothing new, but to me, I had never felt anything so beautiful before in my life. I raised my hands up wide and high and embraced every flake that fell upon my face. My father finally stopped. He turned and looked at me shaking his head and smiling. We were some distance apart. As I lowered my head from the skies I looked at my father to see him, eyes wide looking at something else. I lowered my head and turned to my left. It was the biggest bull elk I'd ever seen in my life. I looked at the elk and then at my father. His rifle was in his hands and I was grateful that it was deer hunting season. I stared at the bull elk and he stared at me. Knowing that I was not harmful to him, he walked off into the snow flurry and disappeared.

  I slowly opened my eyes and smiled as I was grateful for having a good dream. It was one of my most prized memories. I turned my head to see Paige lying next to me. I leaned over and kissed her lightly upon the neck. I wanted to thank her for the beautiful memory.

  Friday was upon me and I w
oke up as usual. I showered. My pain became increasingly worse. A headache was dwelling in the back of my head. I slowly put my clothes on. I just didn't feel right. My body was trained to wake up at the butt crack of Dawn, but I was unable to comply. I felt as if I were sick with the flu, I could barely move. I thought if I laid down for a while, I might be able to recuperate and get up to get some chow.

  While I was lying down on the bed, I heard a knock at the door.

  "Are you decent?"

  My eyes narrowed. The voice was from an older man. It was a familiar voice, but I still couldn't gauge it. "Who is it?"

  "It's Dr. Sebastian Cole. I need to give you your shot and to give you your routine checkup."

  I sat up as quickly as possible. "Oh, please come in."

  Dr. Cole slowly made his way from the door. He came, bearing a black doctors bag. He walked up to me and placed it on the bed. "It is my child, time for your cocktail shot."

  "Is that why I feel like shit right now... Why my whole body is aching?"

  Dr. Cole gave me a warm and plump smile. "Well, it has been almost a week since your last shot. It seems I may have to up your dose. Are there any others side effects that you might have?" Dr. Cole took my pulse. He took my blood pressure and then my temperature. He looked into my ears and eyes.

  "Like?

  "Ahh, dizziness, nausea, vertigo, vomiting? Anything in particular? You are the first person that I have actually administered this drug to. And, I must say that it is actually working quite well."

  Eyes wide, with nothing to say, I just stared at Dr. Cole as he placed a rubber spandex on my upper arm and began to tap the big vein on my right arm. The injection was quick and cool. Each and every time that I had received it it, I almost felt as if it was a drug high. I took it in and took a deep breath. I laid back and waited for the pain the pass.

  "Do you feel better?" He asked.

  I swallowed hard. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I opened them and replied with, "yes."

  Dr. Sebastian Cole began to pack his things back up. "Good, then I shall see you next week." He walked up to the door and opened it. "Hopefully, not earlier. If that was the case, then it was because you were seriously injured."

  "Dr. Cole?" I asked.

  He turned swiftly from the door and looked at me. "What is it my dear?"

  "Well, there may be one side effect, or something, I don't know." I was hesitant, but noticed something strange about my nails. "You see, my nails have been growing and I usually bite them, you know?"

  He was intrigued. "Go on child."

  "So I've been biting them, but they are not as easy to bite off as they used to be... Look, what I'm trying to say is that the shits are strong as hell."

  "Show me." He said.

  I didn't want to destroy the beautiful room, but either way I had to prove to Dr. Cole that something was different. I walked up to the wall and pulled my nails down it. The paint and the drywall began to peel up underneath my fingernails.

  Dr. Cole looked at it in amazement. "My God." He said. "I would have to say, that the compound is successfully bonding with your body. He grabbed my hand and closely looked at my nails. "Yes indeed. Your nails are now growing with the compound, exquisite!" He went to his bag and pulled out a pair of nail clippers. Dr. Sebastian motioned to me, "May I?"

  I smiled. "By all means Doc."

  "Do you have a preference?"

  "Nope." I said.

  With some effort, Dr. Cole was able to remove the nail for my right pinky. He was quite happy and ecstatic by the discovery. "Let me get to this to the lab. I will let you know of the outcome."

  I nodded and replied, "thanks Doc."

  He slipped through the door and he was gone.

  Feeling much better I rose to my feet. Knowing that I would not have to train, I put on my favorite steel toed boots. I opened the door and walked downstairs. The TV was on and I caught Paige lounging on the leather couch.

  She rose quickly and smiled as she saw me. "I saved your breakfast. I hope that you're hungry?"

  "Famished." I said.

  It was a bowl of steel cut oats. It was healthy and light. I gratefully consumed. After my breakfast was diminished, I followed Paige back into the living room with the TV. I sat upon the leather couch and waited.

  Paige disappeared. She came back with Barrett, Clive and Fitz. All four sat down. Barrett placed the DVD into the player and we all watched.

  It was my opponent, Serial Carol. I guess the idea of this watching exercise, was for me to get used to the moves that Serial Carol would use. That was fine with me. There was nothing better than staying in and watching movies on a rainy day. Unfortunately the movies that I was watching, wasn't exactly entertaining.

  She was tall and slender and her arms were long and deadly. I watched her, fight after fight as she pounded the living snot out of her opponents. For hours I sat and watched how powerful she was. I calculated in my mind, the only way to bring her down, was to put her arms out of commission. But then there was her weapon of choice. What she used was a machete strapped to her back. When the time was right, she unleashed her iron. I was disgusted as I saw woman after woman, lose a limb or their head. I shook my head in dismay.

  The fights were gross and bloody. I put my head down many times because I could not watch the gore. Having to watch something disgusting to learn was just plain disgusting indeed. I knew in my heart that Serial Carol had no other choice to do what she did. I sneered. I knew that I would have to put her down, but I wanted to keep her alive.

  Carol was dangerous. There was absolutely no hesitation on her part, when it was time to pull her weapon. She pulled, sliced, diced and it was curtains for her opponent.

  Every now and then, Barrett or Fitz would chime in giving me pointers. They would point out her weaknesses as well as her strengths. Clive remained in the room quiet the whole time. He was glued to the TV and stared at it like a fascinated child. At last, when the footage was complete, I went down below with Fitz to practice my knife work a little bit more.

  I was silent for a long time. I just focused on what I had to do. My anger began to bubble up. I tossed my switchblade at the target harder and harder. 10 feet away from my target and I was about 5 inches off from the bull's-eye.

  Fitz remained silent. When at last he finally spoke, "good, you're doing very well Lill. You have nothing to worry about."

  I threw the switchblade one last time. I hit the bull's-eye and stopped. I shook my head. "Please don't do that."

  "Do what?" He asked.

  "Encourage me." I walked to the bench and sat down. I looked up at Fitz. "You encourage people for good behavior. You encourage children for when they learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. You're encouraged for getting the job, or getting a raise, but encouraging this?" I took a deep breath and exhaled long.

  Fitz walked up and sat down on the bench next to me. He was a beautiful Native American and always smelled so well. His facial features were always smooth and almost boyish like. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way."

  "Did any of the other girls? Did any of the other girls ever think differently? I mean, is this your usual routine?" I asked.

  Fitz replied with silence, but then he spoke. "Well, I must say that you are a different breed. You are most different than the other girls. I'm assuming it's because you have more to lose."

  I began to protest, but Fitz cut me off.

  "And or, have already lost. I'm not encouraging you to kill, maim, Lill. I'm encouraging you to survive. As your trainer, it's my duty to get you through this. If you fail, then I fail as well." Fitz sat back on the bench and clasped his hands together.

  "You know, before this, I used to be pretty funny. I go throughout my day, thinking who needed a smile. I'd do my best to make them smile or laugh. It was really my biggest goal in life, was getting people to find happiness. A smile."

  "Well, listening to some of things that Barrett has to say about you,
needless to say you put his panties into a bunch, but you also got a laugh out of him to." Fitz said.

  "You know." I tilted my head and began to smile at the thought of the memory. "Wise rabbit once said, a laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have." I began to laugh to myself and shook my head. I turned and looked into Fitz's dark Brown eyes. "I don't see it as a weapon at all. I see it as a cure."

  Fitz lifted his head began to laugh out loud. "This is so very true!"

  "You damn right!" I said. "Weapons are used to inflict damage. Cures however, cures are made to save you." I replied.

  "So you definitely have it all figured out don't you?"

  Smug with myself, laughing, I slightly nudged Fitz in the shoulder with my elbow. "No doubt. The wisest man I met though, said to me, find a laugh, find love because life's too short. Each and every day, what that man said to me echoes throughout my mind."

  It was a good feeling that I was having. I was finally able to connect with somebody. Beside Paige, he was able to have a laugh and share some other aspects of my past life with me.

  Fitz and I laughed and talked for some time longer. In his eyes there were all sorts of different kinds of training. The most important training however, was the training to tame the untamed heart. Finding the loss in a lost soul, but trying to keep it intact. My soul was lost; I could tell Fitz was trying his best to bring it back home.

  Paige peaked her head in through the door. She let us know that it was dinner time. Still laughing, Fitz and I walked back up the stairs and into the kitchen.

  During dinner I stayed silent. Tomorrow was the day. A week had gone by and tomorrow was the day of another fight. I kept all other voices out of my mind. Quiet conversation was going back and forth between Clive, Barrett and Fitz, but I remained silent. I didn't want to think of tomorrow. I just wanted to remember the laughs that Fitz and I shared.

  Dinner was finished and the dishes were complete. Quietly Paige walked me up to my room. I opened the door and closed it. Silence was shared between us that was all. I took another shower and stayed in there for a while. I tried to let the warm water wash away my fears. As soon as I was done, I put my PJs on and walked back outside to the balcony.

  The night was cold. The cool air was prickling at my skin. I walked back into my room and grabbed my leather coat. I came back out and placed my elbows upon the balcony rails. The heavy rain had subsided for a while. There was nothing more than a few droplets here and there. I took deep breaths of the rain filled air, I thought they would be my last. I looked into the sky and gazed upon the dark purple clouds. I took my bare hand and traced it upon the wooden banister and felt the wetness as it slicked underneath my Palm.

  I placed my head into my arms and began to cry. The beautiful ways of nature always made me so emotional. I felt I needed a good cry. The rain began to fall down harder. As the skies cried, so did I. As soon as it began to downpour, I sat out there as long as I could. Becoming soaked, I came back inside. I threw off my jacket and dried off. Still just a tad damp, I sat down on my bed. I remained there, thoughts racing through my mind.

  Hours passed and as Paige emerged through my bedroom door, she found me still sitting upward on my bed. "Why have you not gone to bed?"

  "I could not find sleep."

  She walked up to me and placed her hand upon my chest. Her other hand was wrapped behind my neck. She maneuvered me to lay down. "Should at least try to find some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow."

  "Tell me about it." I said sarcastically.

  "What troubles your mind?" She asked. She walked to the other side of the bed and pulled off her night coat. She pulled back the covers and crawled in.

  "Don't you mean, Penny for your thoughts? There are many things that plague my mind right now." I lay there for a moment in silence. "Unfortunately, the thoughts that are going on in my head right now are untranslatable through words."

  "Smartass," she replied. She leaned over me and kissed me on the four head. "Either way, good night to you my love."

  Warm words spoken to send me off into a night of dreaming bliss. As I turned away from her and lay myself into a fetal position, Paige wrapped her arm around me and pulled me closer. Her body heat kept me warm. Her touch, kept me safe.

  As the sun rose upon the deep blue vast sea, the rays shed their light throughout my room. Slowly but surely, one ray after another, the beams slowly slipped their way up onto my bed and caressed me in their calming light. My eyelids went from darkness, to a brighter tan and my eyes slowly opened.

  The room seemed bright and serene. I turned my head to look out into the ocean and saw that the blue sky had overcome the rain. The clouds were puffy and patchy here and there, the morning was in full swing. The suns reign was nothing to be reckoned with.

  I smiled as I lifted myself out of bed. I walked outside onto the balcony and took a deep breath. The brisk, breezy ocean air was all I needed to start my morning. I left the balcony feeling good. It was shower time.

  I took my time in the shower, dried off and sat on my bed wearing nothing more than my towel. I took some time wondering what I should wear. The sun had just recently awakened, so it could be no later than 8:00 AM. I had no idea what time we would leave. So, I just put on the casual workout clothes.

  I walked downstairs into the kitchen since it was business as usual. Everyone was already at the table. Clive, Fitz and Barrett. I smiled as Paige's eyes caught mine. She was busy as usual at the stove. I pulled up my seat quietly and sat down.

  Fitz acknowledged me first. He gave me a "good morning." After Fitz spoke, Clive wished me good morning as well. I wasn't expecting it from Barrett. I never expected much from him except for ass whoopings.

  It was uncomfortable for me. It was my big night and I was waiting for something, some sort of instruction. I was now aware of what was to come and I was hoping for some sort of explanation about anything. Everybody kept quiet. They sipped their coffee and they ate.

  Paige brought me another bowl of steel cut oats. I ate them in silence. She brought me coffee and I waited for it to cool. During eating and sipping, I kept glancing over at Barrett, who was happily reading his paper. It was a when I needed noise and information. The silence was killing me. I woke up strong, happy and content, but the silence was tearing down my nerves.

  I learned throughout my time, to only speak unless spoken to. Everybody was finishing up at their breakfast. Clive was first to leave. He was usually chatty Ann at the table, but today he left without word.

  Fitz finished up and looked at me before he left. "I'll see you in a bit for last-minute training okay?"

  I nodded. With that Fitz was up and left.

  I was still sitting at the table; Paige had already picked up all the plates and was done with the kitchen cleaning. She leaned in close and spoke quietly into my ear. "My father will speak to you. Just wait. I will see you later." Paige walked out of the kitchen. I was left with Barrett and his unnerving silence.

  Patience and waiting did not bug me one bit. I wore patience like a well fitted glove. What bugged me was the fact that I was being deprived of important information. Information that could very well save my life.

  The problem was, waiting for Barrett. A man that held mixed emotions. A man that was a stonewall. Barrett sat behind his newspaper, reading quietly. As anticipation was killing me, he finally spoke. "Tonight, do you know what you have to do?"

  "Yes." I said.

  He slowly pulled down his paper to look at me. His eyes were as blue as the pristine oceans that greeted me this morning. Such a gorgeous feature, to compare to his ugly being. "You have seen her videos and are completely aware of what she is capable of?"

  "Yes, sir." I replied.

  "Good." He finished off his coffee and placed the mug down on the kitchen table. He took his hand and rubbed his forehead, his face. The game of training girls and fighting seemed to take a toll on his life. I always
wondered, if he ever worried about his daughter's well-being, or was it because of his daughter's well-being that he did what he had to do.

  I thought about my mom for a moment. I wondered if she was worried about me. I was in my early 20s and every time I went out, she would always ask me if I was going with someone else. My mother's love was always divine. She never strayed from her two daughters that she loved so much, and for that I thank her. It was her love that gave me the strength to do what I had to do.

  Barrett rose from his chair. He bent over and placed his one good hand on the table, the other still resting in the sling. He looked me directly in the eye and said, "I am an ass hole. I am an ass hole for a reason. There are many things in this world that we have to do, and that I do not wish to." He hesitated for a moment. It seemed as if he was almost getting pasty. Almost getting ready to cry. "I have done many things in this lifetime that I am not proud of. Because of those things, I owe the devil. I have a temper and I know this. But the devil wants my soul, and other things that I do not want him to have. Because I have done those bad things in the past, I owe the devil. I owe the devil everything that means anything to my heart." He leaned in close. Barrett placed his stubbly beard near my ear and I felt the chafing. He leaned in closer and began to whisper. "I have gotten very close with you. Keep up the fight. Stay with me. You can buy me some time. I cannot lose her." Barrett turned quickly and left.

  The only person that I could think of that meant anything to Barrett was Paige. It was clear to me now, that if I went down, Paul Bishop would do something terrible to Paige. There were now two people that I was fighting for. I was fighting for my mother and for Paige. I closed my eyes and I shut them for some time. Inhaling deeply and trying not to think. I released my thoughts.

  As I rose to my feet, and looked to my left and then right, noticing absolutely no one was in sight. Seemed the longer I hung around, was less and less people would watch me. It was almost tempting, just to get up and walk out the door. I thought about it for a moment, but eventually put the thought to rest. I left the kitchen and went down to the training room to meet Fitz. It would be my last training before we left for the fight.

  It was short but sweet. I did my warm-up, I played with my knives. Fitz and I talked and joked around. It was shortly lived as Paige popped her head into the door and told us, "It was time."

  Slowly and stiffly I walked up the stairs behind Fitz. As I entered the kitchen and sat down at the table, everyone was in a state of movement. Everyone had something to do and something to gather. I tried to get Paige's eye contact. "Is there something you want me to do?" I asked.

  She stopped abruptly and looked at me. "No? No. Just sit there, we have everything under control." and with that she left.

  Everybody was in and out of the kitchen. Everybody was going into the garage and out of it. I sat there, quietly waiting for someone to tell me to do something.

  Paige, rustling about, dropped my boots and battle clothes off on the table. She looked at me as she placed them into a duffel bag. "Your fight clothes have been cleaned. Get ready, because here we go. Do you have to pee? The trip will be a few hours. I'm sorry, but there will be no potty breaks for you. I suggest you go to the bathroom now. There is a cup in the back of the car in case you need to go. There is a bathroom over there in the game room." Page pointed at it and then quickly took off through the door that led to the garage.

  I tilted my head looking at her in awe. Paige Barrett just worded and entire paragraph that sounded like it came from the book of my mother. No, I didn't have to pee, but I didn't want to use a cup in a car either. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I pulled down my exercise shorts and sat on the toilet. Nothing came out. I began to push on my abdomen in the space between my belly button and my private parts. I remembered going on long trips as a child. My mom would always tell me to go potty before we left. I called it my PP button. As I pushed and moved around my hand, I began to break a little bit of water. It was all that I could muster, but at least it was something. I pulled my shorts back up, washed my hands and went back out to the kitchen table.

  Sitting quietly, Clive, out of nowhere, casually walked up to my side. "It's time to go girl. Are you ready?"

  I nodded and followed him out to the garage. It was the sight of the car that made me giggle. It was a black, luxury Lincoln town car. It was a kind of car the gangsters used. Dark tinted windows and all. I stopped and giggled to myself. "You have got to be kidding me."

  Barrett was at the wheel. He turned the ignition with his good hand and slowly pulled the bad one from the sling, tossing it out the driver's side window. Barrett then rolled the window down. "Get the Fuck in."

  Still smiling, I shook my head and got in through the rear passenger side. "Oh, this shit is just pure gangster." I said kiddingly. "If I get killed tonight, are you going to dump my body into the trunk?"

  "Yes we are smart ass. And we are going to dump your ass in one of those holes in the desert too." Barrett said behind the wheel, slowly working the stiffness of his hand.

  Clive climbed in to the driver's passenger side to occupy the seat next to me. Quietly we waited. Paige finally graced us with presence and sat in the front passenger seat.

  "Anyways," Barrett pushed the button for the garage door to open. He then spoke. "We don't dump bodies in the desert anymore. They always seem to find those bodies. We shall dispose of your body by tying a concrete block to your feet. We will dump you into the ocean and let the sharks have at you."

  My eyes widened and I became quiet. As soon as the car began to back out of the garage, Clive slapped handcuffs across my wrists and placed a black bag over my head. Well, back to square one, I thought to myself, but at least I was not being transported in the back of a U-haul.

  "Dude, seriously? I asked from behind the black bag.

  "Just a precaution kid. We can't have you runnin out dis car, now can we?" Clive replied.

  Quietly, I no longer disputed, but rather accepted my handcuffs and my head bag.

  The ride was rather pleasant. I was in a comfortable seat and in case of accident, I was buckled in. I couldn't help but laugh at the memory of the U-Haul ride. How I had to use the disgusting makeshift toilet. How much the U-Haul had torn up my body.

  It wasn't long before the boredom of staring into a black bag got to me. I decided to rest my eyes and finally sleep came. All I could hear in the background was the echo from Barrett's classic rock music that was playing over the radio.

  It reminded me of trips with my father. We would drive to the lake, or go hunting as well as camping. My father's radio station never left the sounds of classic rock. I dreamt of him sitting there in the driver seat, pouring coffee from his hot thermos, having to use both hands and steering with his knee. I remember how my mother would always buy the big boxes of goldfish, as they were my father's favorite snack on road trips.

  Every time we left the Valley of the Sun, I only saw cacti. My sister and I would fall asleep, but when we awoke, we saw beautiful pine trees and cooler weather. It was always a mystery to me when I was younger, how exactly did cactus's turn into beautiful tall trees. Tall trees that would give us such a beautiful fragrant smell and played the most wonderful music when the wind whisked through them.

  There were no stops on the way. Apparently we weren't going far enough that we needed to get gas. Apparently nobody had to go to the bathroom. The drive was straight. It seemed as if it was mostly highway. As soon as the car begin to slow down, stop and take more turns, I knew we were nearing our destination.

  At last, the car had stopped. Clive undid my handcuffs and pulled the bag off my head. I got out of the car. It was the same spot that we had parked the first time. Big old side of a metal building, big floodlights. The trunk was open and everybody was grabbing something. I stood still trying to keep my composure.

  "You and Paige get the kid in the room. It's about 7 o'clock now. You guys got two more hours until the fight." Barrett barked out orders.<
br />
  "What you going to do?" Clive asked.

  "I'm going to go register with the judges. Let them know that were here." Barrett replied.

  "Where's Fitz?" I asked.

  He began to walk away but stopped as soon as the question was asked. He slowly turned to look at me, eyes almost warm. "He's on his way kid, he's on his way." It was all he said. Barrett disappeared through the door.

  Paige grabbed her medical bag from trunk of the car. She was going to pick up my bag as well, but I cut her off. I picked it up and looked at her. As I did, she smiled at me and I nervously smiled back.

  "Let's go kids!" Clive said holding the door open.

  I took the one last brief moment. I lifted my head to the wind. I looked up at the black sky and gazed into the sparkling stars. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the freshness of the air. I turned and looked around. It was dark enough I couldn't see beyond the floodlight. I tried to savor the outside for one more moment. It was very possible that it could have been my last.

  Paige went and I followed. We walked through the corridors and hallways as we did a week before. It was almost an underground mini maze. We finally came to our so-called waiting room. I dropped my bag and began to warm up. My nervous level just shot up to an all-time high. This time I knew what I was in for. This time, I knew the chaos that waited for me beyond those chain linked gates.

  While I was warming up, Paige and Clive sat, watched while exchanging quiet words. Since Barrett had left, he had yet to return. I continued warming up. I practiced my moves, my blocks. At some point during my warm-up, Clive got up and left. I did not want to overexert myself. At the point where I felt I was possibly getting tired, I stopped and sat next to Paige.

  "Are you ready?" She asked.

  I wiped the sweat from my four head. "Ready as I will ever be."

  "Good." She said. She got up and picked up my duffel bag. She placed it into my lap. "Get your clothes on lady. It's going to be a bumpy ride."

  I put the duffel bag onto the bench and opened it. I had no problem dressing in front of Paige, for I had done it before. I pulled out my boots, my pants and socks. I pulled out the shirt, my lucky Firebird shirt. I smiled as I unfolded it and stared at the fiery bird. Finally, I pulled out my leather cuffs.

  I peeled off my shirt and shorts while Paige politely turned her head. In my bra and panties, I put my socks on first. I pulled up my blue jeans, followed by my Firebird shirt. "You may look now, my dear." I said jokingly to Paige. She looked at me and smiled. I continued with my steel toed boots. DOC Martens, and they were probably one size too big, but I loved them. I stood up and put both leather cuffs on.

  Paige looked at me giggled. She looked at my hair. It was a dirty blonde Afro. Pointing at it, she asked, "what are you going to do with that?"

  I smiled and ran my hand through my poufy short hair. "What do you want me to do with it?"

  "Lady, you look like a silly Q-Tip. You've got one more thing sitting in that duffel bag. Put your hand in there and find it." She said.

  Curious, I reached into the duffel bag reaching in all four corners. I found a bottle of hair gel. I cocked my brows and looked at her smiling. "Really? You want me to put product in my hair?" I had done it before and liked the outcome. Perhaps it would give me more of an edge to my switchblade look.

  "Yes, please... I assure you, if your hair is not done, they will not take you so seriously."

  "Who is they? The fighters of the vicious crowed." Smiling, I obeyed. I walked over to the mirror that was in the corner near the shower and applied the hair gel. I had at least 4 inches of hair by now and tried to Spike it up. I swished it back and pulled it out. I propped it up and pulled out one single strand. As soon as I was satisfied, I walked back over to Paige and sat down next to her.

  "I have faith in you." She said.

  "I know." Frowning I shook my head. "I wish we could have met under different circumstances."

  "I do to." She replied.

  The witching hour was upon us, As Barrett and Clive emerged from the door. I sat on the bench, elbows resting on my knees and chin in my hands. The time was drawing near and I became more and more antsy. I lifted my leg up and began to shake it uncontrollably. I looked up at Barrett. "Is Fitz here yet?" I asked.

  Barrett looked at me and ran his hand through his stubbly beard. "He should be here any minute."

  It was on the dot and speaking of the devil. The door opened and Fitz appeared. I smiled knowing that my mentor and trainer had finally arrived. "What took you so long, guy?" I asked.

  He walked up to me and kneeled in front of me. He smiled and shook his head. "Traffic and other things that I needed to take care of. But I'm here now Lill, I'm here." He put his hand into his pockets and pulled out my two knives. He handed them to me. "I think you'll need these, Switchblade Mama."

  I smiled and took them graciously. "Thank you." I said. I took my switchblade and my Spyderco and slid them into the right side of my pocket.

  A cell phone rang and Barrett pulled it out of his pants pocket. He put it to his ear and listened. "Okay, we are on our way." He put the phone back into his pocket and then he looked at me. "Are you ready kid? They are waiting for us."

  I nodded. I got up and pulled my black hoodie jacket from the duffrel bag. I put it on and pulled the hood over my head. I zipped it up. I took a deep breath and exhaled through my teeth.

  Clive and Barrett left the room first, with me in tow. Fitz and Paige followed behind. That was how we walked on our way to the killing floor. Two in the front, me in the middle and two in the back. I placed my hands into my jacket pockets with my eyes trained on the ground.

  It was time. We walked up the final steps that would leave me into battle. As we emerged from the underground, we were greeted by bright lights and an expensive crowd. When I rounded the top of the stairs, shielding my eyes from its bright radiance, an encouraging chant was being repeated. "Switchblade Mama, Switchblade Mama." I couldn't help but smile. I waited patiently for my song and my moment. Soon, the chain-link gate would open and I would have to fight for my life, once again.

  I saw her as the gates opened. She was so very tall. She was muscular and slender. Her eyes were piercing black. Her hair was long and Brown, well past her shoulders. She walked onto the floor, with such a great confidence. She wore nothing more than a tank top and Capri pants, tattered at the ends. I watched her carefully. I saw the machete as it was strategically planted on her back.

  My song began to play and the chain-link gates opened. Moment of truth I thought to myself. I unzipped my hoodie jacket, pulled out my arms and threw it to the ground. With my head up, staring directly into Serial Carol's eyes, I walked forth onto the killing floor.

  My fists were already made. Even though my insides were melting, I kept a stern face. Even though I felt innocence inside, I glared into her eyes. I did not want to harm this girl, but evil was making me to do so.

  The crowd was roaring. I felt my eyes become water and I told myself this was no time to cry. I had to be strong, for the most important reasons.

  The word fight was unleashed. Both of us put up our dukes. We slowly circled the floor. I was staring into her eyes and she into mine. Over and over again my mind played the words that Paul Bishop had spoken to me a week ago. Without thinking, I pulled out my switchblade, and flicked it open quickly. Without thinking, I threw it at her.

  The gunshot was quick. The bullet struck right by my foot sending small shards of concrete debris into the air. I heard the crowd's roar. I lifted my hands and looked at the judges. I saw them shaking their heads, no. As I looked at Serial Carol, I saw the knife had plunged itself into her left thigh.

  She pulled it out, swiftly. I shook my head feeling stupid. That was a bone head move. I just gave her more weaponry. I figured since I threw caution to the wind, I might as well add to the stupidity. I charged and came at her quickly and swiftly. Her long arm's-length hit me in the face before I could even get near her b
ody. I fell to the ground quickly. I was on my hands and knees looking at her. She was taunting me as I slowly rose to my feet. Carol had pocketed my knife. It was my father's knife and I was going to get back.

  I rose to my feet. I put both my fists up and slowly walked toward her. My eyes were glaring and my heart was feeling nothing but hate. I rushed her. I was able to block her fierce melee of punches and gave her one cold pop in the stomach. Serial Carol winded, took a few steps back. She quickly recovered with another punch to my face. I took it full on.

  Blood gushed from my mouth. The hit must've caused my tooth to cut my lip. I got up slowly. I rushed her, over and over again, angry and not thinking. Every one of my attacks was put down by her fists and her long arms. My face was cut up and covered with blood. I still had not retrieved my knife. I went in for an attack and she gave me another blow to the face. I fell to my knees, disoriented.

  The crowd was in a straight up roar. All could hear was, kill, kill. As I sat there on my knees, I saw Serial Carol as she unleashed the machete from her back.

  I remained to play dumb. According to the judges, I was down and out of it. I was in a state and execution was acceptable. Beheading was on its way. Yelling from the crowd became louder and louder and I played with it.

  Everything began to slow down. I blinked and it seemed like an eternity. Tiny droplets of blood were falling from my face. It was a light sprinkling of blood rain. I turned my head to look at the gates behind me. Paige's face was stern but white with fear, her eyes filling with tears. If I allowed it, it would be the last time that I saw her beautiful face. I turned back to look at Carol. Indeed it was a good day to die.

  Carol came up to me with the machete, arms wide and swinging toward my head. As soon as her arm swept with the machete, I dogged and shot out my hand grabbing hers with the over-sized blade. Her swing stopped cold. I stood up and apprehended her machete with my other hand and tossed it to the other side of the floor. We were interlocked in hand-to-hand battle.

  With the machete gone, I stood up to Carol. She threw another punch and I shot my elbow out. Her fist connected with my elbow. I heard it crack and felt the crunching underneath the pressure of my elbow. Turning to my side, I turned back around with my fist extended, hitting her in the face. I took my right hand and grabbed her left. I lifted my left leg as high as possible and kicked her in the head. She fell back, groping her broken arm. Becoming cocky and not thinking, I walked to her quickly, moving in for a head butt. Carol had other plans.

  As soon as I walked up to Carol, she took my father's switchblade from her pocket, flipped it out and shoved it into my side. The feeling sent a pain up my spine that I had never felt before. The switchblade was lodged in my side, but I did not remove it. Carol was still on her knees as I threw a very hard punch to her face.

  Her nose burst out with blood. She fell over backward. I still didn't pull the knife from my side, but rather took my Spyderco from my pocket. Carol laid there on her back, in pain. The crowd was on fire. I slowly lowered the knife onto the back of her neck, pressing firmly enough to see the small indentation marks from the knives serrated edge dimpling her skin. She laid there in pain and I saw her eyes as she stared up at me and begged, silently for mercy. I pushed the knife harder into her neck and listened to the crowd as they chanted kill, kill, kill. I kneeled and whispered into to Carol's ears. "What is your name?"

  She was confused at first, so I asked her again. She finally spoke, "Carol Banning."

  With that said, I disregarded the remarks the crowd was saying. I leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "I shall show you mercy Carol Banning, even though the mercy was not shown to me." I rose and stood tall. I gave everyone the finger and pulled the lodged knife from my side. I replied to the crowd with a grateful, "Fuck you!"

  The crowd echoed back with mixed thoughts. They were fuck you's back, and cheers all the same. The fight was over and the spotlights shut off while the regular lights were turned on. I could finally see the crowd for who they actually were. Well-dressed, uptight businessmen and women. Smoking cigars and drinking martinis and cosmos. It made me sick. The money that they made and spent on human destruction was just plain gross.

  I looked at the switchblade which was covered in my own blood, laying in my Palm. It oozed and dripped and glowed underneath the strange florescent lighting that was provided by the old metal warehouse that was specifically built to host hen fighting.

  It was unclear how long I stood out there. My face was bashed. With my blood still on my switchblade, I closed it and pocketed it. There were many things in a person's life that they must do. Pay bills, go to work, and take care of their children. Hen fighting was most certainly not one of them. It became clear to me, that it was now my job to be brutal. All life hangs in the balance. Now, some ladies lives hang in my balance.

  As I stood out there, Serial Carol's team retrieved her damaged body from the floor. Her shout outs for pain was a mere echo in my mind. Still bleeding, I kept my eyes focused on the bloodstained ground.

  When my team was allowed on the floor, I was quickly disarmed by Fitz. In a daze, my eyes met Paige's. She took my hand and slowly led me back to our room.

  I was sat onto the bench. My face was red with blood. My eyes saw things the mind would not comprehend. Barrett, Clive and Fitz all inhabited the room at one point in time, but they disappeared. Paige placed both her hands upon my cheeks, her mouth would move, but I registered no words.

  I was a worthless lump sitting motionless on the bench. Commands were spoken, but I did not follow through. Paige peeled off my shirt. I could feel her hands and fingers poking and prodding the wound on the side of my stomach, for the pain was becoming much worse. It wasn't until Paige slapped me hard in my face that I finally opened my eyes and came to.

  "Look at me Lill, look at me!" Paige held my face in her hands.

  I grabbed both of her wrists with my hands and slowly them pulled away. "I'm here." I said.

  "Finally!" She replied. "I cannot find my gauze. I think I left in the car. You need to get in the shower and clean up. I will be right back." She kissed me lightly on the four head and left.

  The pain was up, down, left and right. I undid the laces on my boots and pulled them off. I removed my socks and my pants. I walked up to the shower that was in the corner of the semi-big concrete room, opened the head and turned it on hot. The water sprayed out cold at first, but quickly became liquid warm gold. I peeled off my remaining undergarments and entered the hot shower.

  I watched the ground as the blood slowly washed away from my body. It made a trail down my legs and emptied into the drain. There was no soap to lather with and no cloth to scrub with, so I used my hands to remove the dried clotted blood.

  I felt the heat from the shower releasing the tension from my muscles. Finally my skin washed away clean and there was no blood flowing down the drain. I kept both my hands up and planted firmly on the tiled shower wall. Staring into the corner of the room, I heard the door open and close. "Did you find what you're looking for?" I asked.

  "I sure did."

  It was an unknown voice. Startled, I quickly turned. Modestly, I tried to cover myself.

  Like a slithering snake, she came in close. The only way to describe her, was a cougar. She was tall, about 5 foot 10. Her eyes were a piercing dark blue and her hair... Her hair was pitch black and long, with tiny curls at the end. She wore a long black velvet dress, with a slit running up the side of her right thigh. It was a spaghetti strap dress, complete with a feathered scarf.

  My eyes became wide and my mouth dropped. I had no words. I stood there naked and vulnerable. The vibes that I was receiving from this woman were completely intimidating.

  "Do not fear me child." She said. She crept up slowly, closer. Her voice was low, feminine, but smooth.

  I had dealt with so much, in so little time. This woman gave me nothing more but the willies. I backed up in the corner of the shower as much as possible. I covered myself as well
as I could. I gave her my eye contact and she sent shivers up my spine.

  "So this, this is the so-called switchblade Mama. Such a radical woman at heart, don't you think?" She asked.

  No words left my lips. Fear, and only fear oozed from my pores. Like a threatened animal, I tried to protect myself. Finally, I was able to say something. "What do you want?" I asked.

  Her bright red lips pursed. I could see the excitement dancing in her eyes. Placing fear into other people's hearts brought joy into her life. "My husband... Has spent quite a deal of money on you. I was just curious as to what all the fuss was about." She looked at me closer. Eyes probing up and down. She smiled once as she completed her rounds. "Now I can see, what all this fuss has been about. You are quite the beautiful vicious creature, aren't you?"

  She still had not introduced herself, but from her last statement, I knew who she was. Paul Bishop's wife stood tall and bold in front of me. I swallowed hard, eyes never leaving hers as I slowly turned off the shower. I never left her eye contact not for one little moment. Even though she was a woman, she was still dangerous.

  "Such a fine specimen you are. A beautiful, built woman. Beautiful green eyes. I wonder though, how dangerous you could be with me?"

  I had no answer. I still stood there, quiet and without words. Even though I had nearly died with Serial Carol, nothing could compare with the fear that this woman was protruding on to me.

  "How rude of me. Let me introduce myself. My name is Michelle, Michelle Bishop. I am your so-called, owner's wife."

  Backed into a corner with nowhere to go, I was still covering myself as best as I could with my wet gleaming hands.

  Michelle walked in closer and I backed up further until I was stuck in the corner and could back up no more. She leaned in closely and brushed her lips over the back of my neck. Her soft lips, slowly kissed, and she whispered into my ear. "My husband has his toys, and I have mine. No matter what, I shall have you."

  I knew who she was and I wanted nothing more than to fight back, but I couldn't. She was who she was and if I tried to fight back, I would be severely punished. I wished Paige would come back. I hoped that she would save me from this evil, wicked woman. Backed up against the corner, I finally, truly, felt violated.

  "You are so sexy." She said as her lips pressed against my ear. I could feel the warmth of her breath as it expelled slowly from her mouth with each word she spoke. Her hand began to trail up and down my naked wet body. She placed the tips of her fingers on my stomach and slowly slid them down into my crotch, pushing my arm out of the way that was covering my private part..

  I became so uncomfortable with this. I wanted so badly to wring this woman neck. I threw my arms to my side, but that was all. I threw my head up and looked onto the ceiling. I tried so very hard wish it all away.

  My breathing became heavier, as her hand probed harder into every part of my sacred womanhood. It was unwanted, but the pleasure was felt. I knew she felt my need and she continued to probe.

  She moved in even closer this time. She pressed her body up against mine. She was a tall woman and her towering height miniaturized me. She pressed even harder; I placed both my hands up against the tiled wall in the corner that I was being backed into. While she felt me, despite my efforts to hold everything in, trying to feel repulsed, I began to move my body, complementing the motions of her hand. She leaned in closer and kissed me on the lips. I accepted her, fiercely, my mouth giving her's the slight hint of an upcoming round of rough sex. She pulled back slowly licking her own, eyes glimmering with the possible thought that she had broken me. "You taste so good."

  Her dark blue eyes staring at me the whole time. It wasn't until the door opened, that her head quickly turned and her eyes and hands left me. It was the greatest relief in the world, as I saw Paige walk through the door, hand filled with gauze. If she had not come when she did, I might have made the worst decision of my life.

  "Excuse me ma'am, but you cannot be in here." Paige must have saw the look of fear in my eyes, for her voice was shaky and startled. The fear had shifted from what Michelle was capable of doing, to the fear of Paige walking in on us in the act. Her eyes never left the tall dark woman. She walked up to her and Mrs Bishop walked to Paige. "You need to leave right now ma'am."

  Michelle slowly flowed to Paige. It wasn't the normal walk of a human being, but rather a fluid floating that only death could perform. "My dear child, do you know who you are talking to." Her voice was thick and low. She spoke with such a tone, it was almost as if she owned the whole world and everybody in it. I was quite surprised that Paige had never met Michelle Bishop before. After all the years that she was involved doing what she was doing, it almost seemed that meeting was guaranteed.

  In my eyes, it seemed as if the florescent lights of the room had dimmed and flames, fiery flames protruded around Michelle Bishop. "No, I do not know who you are." Paige stopped in her tracks. It was almost as if she knew where she was going, but not quite sure. With the gauze in hand, she clasped her arms together.

  Michelle walked up to Paige closer. The clickety clack of her high heel stilettos, echoed throughout the room. Paige was only few inches taller than I and Michelle, with her tall stature, leaned over so that she could whisper into Paige's ear. I could not hear what was said because the whisper was so low, but I saw the look and Paige's eyes.

  Michelle stood back up. With her encounter with me, the feathered scarf around her neck became somewhat unraveled. She quickly whisked it around her neck and turned back to look at me. "I will be back for you later." The clacking of her shoes was the only thing that echoed through my ears. The very sentence that she laid out for me sent shivers up my spine.

  I hadn't moved since she violated me. I was still backed into the corner of the shower, hands still placed up against the wall, mouth dropped wide. As soon as Michelle Bishop left the room, Paige grabbed a towel from my bag and rushed up to me with it. She covered me quickly to dry me off, as I was still in my daze.

  "Lillian, are you okay?" She asked while drying me off.

  Still staring into space,I released the longest breath I ever held. I acknowledged Paige's question. "That woman scares me more than anything in this world."

  "Would she do to you?"

  "That would be a violation? She touched me, I didn't want it, but she touched me." Of course, I had to leave out the part where I was beginning to like it. Still staring into space. I could not collect a pure sane thought.

  "Oh, God!" Paige gasped. "Come on, let's get you dry and put some clothes on you." Paige wrapped me in the towel and guided me back to the bench on the other side of the room. She pulled a clean bra and panties from another bag. She grabbed her gauze and her medic bag and began working on my face, which was covered in tiny cuts and bruises and flowing with small streams of blood. I sat on the bench, wearing only my lady ware. Paige looked at me up and down, making sure nothing was missed. She went down to the stab wound that was in the side of my stomach. She cleaned it more, and pulled a needle and thread from her bag. I had never had stitches before.

  "How badly were you violated?" She asked, while working.

  I swallowed. I took a breath and I thought about it for a while. How would I rate it? I winced a bit in pain as Paige sewed up my stab. "I would say? That she mildly fucked me."

  Paige stopped for a moment. She looked into my eyes; placed both hands over mine. "Christ Lill, I am so sorry."

  I shook my head. "No, no, don't be, please don't be sorry. It's nobody's fault but my own. That woman completely repulses me. She is a sick Fuck and she knows it. I feel sorry for everyone in the past that has had to deal with her sick ass."

  "Lill, this is the first time that I've seen Michelle Bishop. I've never seen her before with the other girls." Paige turned back to my wound. She continued with the sew job.

  I was staring off into space again. It scared me very much that Paul Bishop's bitch of a wife took some interest in me. It angered me so much. It was a dis
gusting terrible world in which we lived in. People with money thought they could own others. If I had my life back, if I was back in the real world with the rest of the people, I might have been able to sue her ass in court over sexual harassment, but this was not the case. I was owned by her husband and apparently was owned by her as well. Michelle Bishop was hot and gorgeous all the same. I didn't want to tell Paige that I was somewhat aroused by the whole ordeal, that I would keep to myself. No matter what though, my heart belonged to Paige and in the future I would be better advised on the matter of Michelle Bishop.

  The sew job was finally complete. Paige gave me a clean pair of pants and shirt to wear. It was unclear to me as to where Clive, Fitz and Barrett went off to. Paige told me that there were at an after party. It was a place where a majority of the boys went to after their team had won, or lost. Paige explained that they usually drank and exchanged stories of training and previous battles. I had absolutely no problem with that. Just another glorified sausage party in my mind. It was just another excuse for me to be alone with Paige.

  "What are you feeling?" Paige asked.

  "Well, I'm pleased to say the least, that I made it back here walking. I was enjoying my shower until that vicious bitch?" I trailed my words off into silence.

  "I know the feeling..."

  I turned my head to look at Paige. "How so?" I didn't want to know, but I needed to know.

  "When my father first started working with Paul, he came to our house often."

  I knew in my heart where the story was going. I couldn't even bear to hear the first part of her sentence.

  "Back then, my father would drink heavily and pass out. It was even before Clive was in the picture." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

  I was sitting next to her, my face turned to hers. I could only see half of her eye, for It was mostly blanketed by her gorgeous golden brown hair, but I could feel the pain coming from it. Slowly it became moist and teary. I turned away from her and continued to listen, my eyes narrowing.

  "There were many nights in which my father passed out and Paul was the only one there. The first time," she swallowed again and hesitated.

  I put my hand over hers. I grasped it. I looked at her and I shook my head. "You don't have two tell me if you don't want to." I could feel the memory was causing her pain. I wanted to tell her to stop, but in my heart I knew she had a get it out. I felt that it was something that she had never shared with anybody else and by getting it out, she might be able feel some sort of clarity. I clinched my teeth and my fists, opening my ears. I continued to listen, in complete disgust.

  "The first time, I was coming out of the bathroom. My father of course was passed out. Paul intercepted me on my exit out. He blocked me and pushed me back into the bathroom. He touched me in such ways?"The pain of the memory began to flush down her spine. Without words I could see she was thinking about it and shuddered.

  Quickly I stopped her. I reached over, grasping her left arm and slowly pulled. I turned her towards me and laid her left arm over my right shoulder. Paige followed suit and wrapped her right arm around my lower torso. I took her and held in her my arms and I held her there tightly. I felt her pain. I held her tightly in my arms and I rocked her, ever so gently. I shooshed her and whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

  As I rocked her, she burst out, "I didn't want anything to do with him, but I had no choice, I couldn't fight back. I had no choice." Her words became broken up and filled with sobs.

  My heart was made of charcoal and a lit match was just flung at it. The hate that I already felt for Mr. Bishop became a towering Inferno. I held Paige and rocked her. My mind was ablaze. I thought so many ways of how it could kill Mr. Bishop. There was no doubt in my mind, as soon as I was a released from my prison, Paul Bishop was the first on my list to be executed, by me and in an inhumane way. Barrett was no longer on my number one kill list; Paul boosted his way to the top. It disgusted me the way he threw his money about and owned people. I would no doubt, avenge Paige's innocence.