The Switchblade Mamma

by Lindsey Schussman

  17.

  The night's events were drawing to a close. In silence, I held Paige. Sitting on the bench waiting, both of us fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. It wasn't until later in the night, the boys returned and retrieved us for our departure. We awoke to their sounds outside the door and quickly parted before anyone caught a glimpse of us together.

  I was half asleep and sleepwalking. My eyes were heavy and my body ached. I kept rubbing my side feeling the crease where the stitches were. Paige saw it and smacked my hand. "You mustn't itch!"

  I'd obey, as long as she wasn't looking. The minute she turned her head, my hand was back at it.

  We reached the outside and loaded everything into the car. The night had expired and the morning was slowly making its way, forcing the darkness to fade. The air smelled briskly of grass and manure. As I took a deep breath, I looked up into the sky. I saw a bright full moon, lightly blanketed with clouds. Clouds that looked like a thin layer of staccato wool, dancing in front of the moon. There was a faintly gleaming halo around the moon indicating more rain to come. I was abruptly pushed into the car by Clive, who was anxious to get home.

  The music quietly played and the mood was simply exhausting. Paige was at the wheel and Barrett was at the passenger side. Words were not exchanged, but both Paige and I knew that Barrett had been drinking. Barrett and Clive were both passed out, the alcohol oozing from their breath. I loved to drink myself, but would rather not consume it from someone else's breath. The smell made me nauseous. As the exhaustion overcame, I succumbed. I leaned my head back against the seat of the black Lincoln town car and closed my eyes. Quiet words were exchanged, but I paid no attention. The ride was smooth and I took comfort as the low playing classic rock music kept my tired mind busy.

  As I awoke, Clive was shaking me. My eyes, still crispy with sleep, slowly opened. We had finally arrived to our destination. Apprehensively, I slowly peeled myself from the seat. The four of us were in zombie mode. I needed no instruction or babysitting. I made my way through the garage and into the house. Behind Paige I slowly climbed the stairs. She went her way and I went mine.

  I opened my door, the creaking echoing throughout the silent house. The light from the ever-growing sun was slowly enveloping the room. Without thinking, I dive bombed and plummeted myself onto the bed. I was so tired. I didn't bother to change my clothes, or to brush my teeth. The sun was beautiful, but I needed my sleep. I tossed my head underneath my pillows. As I began to gain comfort, I heard my door lock as slumber was quickly achieved.

  My dreams were plagued with the evening's events. I tossed and turned every which way possible. Over and over again, I felt my own knife as it was shoved into my side. I felt the cold bloodied concrete as it touched my skin. I saw the look in the woman's eyes, crazed and disorderly. My only thought was what drove this woman? Perhaps it was the same force driving the both of us? Aching and in pain, I knelt down and waited for my execution. As she brought down the machete, I felt, briefly, the cold steel upon my neck; just before she sliced my head off like a piece of cheese.

  It was mid-afternoon when I bolted up in the bed. As usual I was covered in sweat. I was alone. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, because Paige was usually gone at this time anyway. I wondered if she even came into the room at all.

  Two more fights and then victory would be mine. Another week would pass before my third fight. Training every day was a must. Barrett of course sat me down and chewed me out for the whole quick knife move with Serial Carol. I told him it was Paul Bishop's idea, but he shot back with a, "he maybe pay the bills, but he's not keeping you alive."

  What could I say to that? With that in mind, Paige spent the whole week distant. I know she was suffering from a recovered memory, a memory that must have destroyed her. We barely talked and at night, she left me vulnerable. The whole week I woke up in buckets of sweat. I woke up screaming, but nothing.

  I spent the whole week in disarray. I spent every night, on the balcony, staring off into the deep black swelling the ocean would provide, always, listening to the waves crashing upon the shore. Every night, like every other, I would think of my mother. Every night, like every other, since I first met Paige, I thought of her.

  I was so crushed by her distance. Even while training with Fitz, he noticed a change in my behavior. He asked me what was wrong, but I just shook it off and said nothing.

  The week was tedious and slow. Every day was routine upon routine. I felt distant and exiled from Paige thus causing my lack in focus. Fitz continued to probe from my lack of enthusiasm and tried to say something one again, but I just replied with "it's that time of the month." Even though I knew I no longer got it. To me, it was a total loss. It was a week down the drain. As soon as the week was up and it was time to fight, I was no longer eager for any of it.

  Paige remained unresponsive and I remained incoherent. The time had come for the third fight and we saddled up as usual.

  Unfocused and not paying attention, I did not listen to Barrett as he prepped me on my next girl to fight. I just sat there in the waiting room. I did not train, nor warm-up. Everyone had left, I was left to myself. I was left to myself, just listening to the buzzing of the lights lights.

  When the time came and I was summoned to the floor, I was still in a distant state and not ready. Depression was a mad horse and I was riding it blindly. As I walked up the steps and neared the gates that would lead me to the floor, I was greeted by a loud roar. A loud roar that I simply shrugged off. I pulled off my black hoodie jacket and dropped to the ground. With no spunk and nothing left in me, I casually walked to the floor and greeted my new attacker.

  Denying the battle I slid my fists into my pockets. I took a deep breath and slowly closed my eyes, exhaling as I opened them again. It is insane what love does to one's soul, their thoughts and even their will to survive. At one time, I was at the top of the world, owning it all and now, I was giving not one shit and saying "fuck it" to all.

  By the time I opened my eyes, she was already in front of me... I took in blow after blow. Cannonballs were being thrust into my temples and I embraced every hit. I did nothing to fight back. I took every hit in the face until I could take no more. Without hesitation, I fell my knees. Blood was streaming off my face into small pools collecting on the cold concrete ground. My face was disappearing behind a mask of blood and bruises.

  I sat there, down on my knees, hands firmly planted onto the ground, spitting up blood. Perhaps I let it go too far. I wasn't trying to spite Paige, but rather get her attention. It was a terrible plan that could cause my death, but without her in my life at that point, I had nothing.

  I heard her name being rattled off by one of the announcers, Frisbee Frankie, or something like that. I wondered what the frisbees were. I had the shit knocked out of me. Frankie finally came around and kicked me in the stomach and I laid there on my back. I stared up into the bright lights, thinking I was already dead and went to heaven. I laid there motionless as she continued to beat my guts with a slew of nonstop punches. I no longer had the will. I just laid there and waited for a serene death.

  As I finally felt I was beaten to mush, I heard the judges acknowledge, "kill her!" Still laying on my back, I saw a glimmer of the blades as she drew them from her sides. Round, sharp blades that looked like Frisbee's. She pulled them out and raised them up high, ready to decapitate. The crowd was shouting for death, but booing all the same. They were disappointed the Switchblade Mamma had not put up a fight.

  I acknowledged my death and prepared myself for what was to come. Frankie raised the two metal discs up high. She showed the crowd and the crowd roared. All they said was kill, kill! I laid there patiently waiting for death, somewhat disappointed the crowd so quickly turned sides. It wasn't until I heard Paige in the sidelines screaming "Lillian, no!"

  As soon as I heard her voice, I sprang to life. I rolled out of the way, just as the metal frisbees made their way to the ground and sent a volcano of sparks into the
air. Like a rocket, I shot myself up and quickly balanced my two feet. Since weapons were drawn, I drew mine. The switchblade came out first, and then Spyderco.

  My face was completely covered in blood. My hands were damp with it, making it difficult to keep a grip. Face bloodied with red, I looked like a cherry. I smiled, sending off a faint glimmer of teeth and white.

  Frankie was surprised by my comeback. Her eyes were wide as well as mine. Prowling each other, we circled the floor, weapons of destruction pointing at each other.

  At that point anything was possible. I knew she was tired, she had to have been after the beating she gave me. I waited patiently. Both knives drawn and ready for action. Everything in my body ached and pulsated, but I was ready for it. The flames from the fiery pits of the nine Hells enveloped me. I felt as if Asmodeus himself overtook my body and prepared me for murder.

  Frankie came in quickly. Both metal discs, as sharp as medical scalpels came in at every side. I dodged each and every one. Left and right, then left again. As soon as she tried to come in with her right, I lodged the switchblade into her upper arm. She arched her head back and let out a low yell. While she was dazed from my attack, I used it as an opportunity to take the Spyderco and slash her stomach with it.

  She bellowed loudly in pain and fell to her knees. She dropped both the metal Frisbees like hotcakes. My mind was such sludge. Everything became a distant echo. I heard the crowd yell. I didn't care for them at all. Without an ounce of love in my heart, I walked up to Frankie as she sat there on her knees staring up into the lights. I looked into her crystal blue eyes. I took a strand of her long strawberry blonde hair and trailed it between my two fingers. With my heart black as tar, I released her strand of hair from my bloody hand. I took my palms and placed them on the side of her head and slowly slid them down past her chin, leaving a faint trail of blood. I then took my hand and placed it to the back of her head. I grabbed her hair violently, I got as many hairs I could and held her there and brought her face close to mine. I looked at her eyes and I placed my lips close to her ears. "I'm so very sorry." I said. I released her head and shot my knee up to her chin. Her head chucked up quickly, sending a splattering explosion of blood flying into the air. It was so quiet. I turned and could hear the blood as it landed and penetrated the hungry cement. As I continued to limp with my back to her, I heard her body as it crashed to the ground. I moved away quickly as she fell to the ground motionless.

  I continued to limp and slowly made my way to the steel chain-link gates. My vision became blurred. My sight was as a blurry portrait. A portrait that could only be concocted by Ho-Ryon Lee. As the Gates opened, I slowly walked through them, only to be failed by my very own two legs. I wasn't unable to make it out the gates. The blurred vision became darkness and the darkness became my mind.

  Restless and in pain. My soul became conjoined with the darkness of hell. It became attached to the fiery flames of madness that became my life. It was a madness that was plaguing my sleep. It was a darkness of evil souls conjuring something up in my mind that I could not fight. With pain, side after side I slept upon. I felt no comfort. It was my dreams, it was my mind. I tried so desperately to gain control. I tried to think of serenity, happiness, peace. Every time, it was trumped by dark ooze that plagued my very being. In and out of consciousness, fists, fingernails digging into my palms. I tried to fight the darkness. Perspiration covered my entire body. Nightmares entwined my soul. Even though it was a dream, I tried so desperately to wake up and fight my way out of it. Asmodeus was back again and he wished to claim his new prize, me.

  There was a slight sliver of light escaping into the under folds of my eyelids. I reached my right hand up and pinched the top of my nose with my fingers. I opened my mouth and swallowed hard. Slowly opening my eyes, I tried to adjust to the brightness of the room. My head, pounding like a jackhammer. I was like a newborn, trying hard to gain control of my neck.

  I was in my bedroom at the beach house. By the brightness of the room I could tell it was late afternoon. Breathing deeply, I tried to lay there comfortably on my pillow. I felt the nausea growing within my stomach. With my body in pain, I rose up from my bed and thought about making my way to the toilet. I halfway propped myself up. I became overcome with headache and even more nausea. My eyes were half squinted and my breathing was heavy.

  "What the hell were you thinking?" Paige's voice was low and soft coming from the corner of the room.

  I waited a moment for the sleep to escape my eyes. I took the one hand that wasn't propping me up to rub it out of my eyes. Trying to focus, I turned my head to face Paige, who sat in the chair in the corner of the room next to the sliding door.

  "I'll ask you again." She asked. "What the hell were you thinking?"

  I knew exactly what I was thinking. There wasn't much left in my world. My mom, her safety of course was number one, but for some reason, there were acts above and beyond committed for love. What were the lengths that people would go to for love? There was a moment, the moment in which time stood still. I took a moment and slowly licked my lips. My heart broke as I knew what I was willing to sacrifice for Paige, my mom. The word slowly escaped my lips, and I softly spoke it. "You."

  Paige rose from the chair quickly. Her anger filled the room. "Are you serious? Do you realize that you almost had your head cut off?"

  I, still fighting nausea, replied quietly. "Yes." I covered my eyes from the light and rubbed my four head. "You have no idea what you've done to me." I replied.

  "You nearly died. Were you willing to have your head cut off for me?" She asked.

  I quickly looked up into her brown eyes and without hesitation said, "yes."

  Her eyes swelled up with tears and her lips trembled at the corners as she shook her head. Quickly, Paige left the chair and glided towards me. She gently placed her palms, hovering over my cheeks and brushed her nose with mine. She looked me into the eyes, crying and asking, "why did you risk your life like that?'

  I smiled, framing her face with my palms and wiping away her tears with my thumbs. "Because, I love you so." I took my hands away and drew a deep breath. "I never knew what love was, until I met you."

  She pulled herself away. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Tears still streaming down. She walked back and began to say, "no, no, this cannot be."

  With the little strength that I had, I pulled myself from the bed. I walked toward her, heart sincere. "Lady, I fought my feelings long enough... But when you came and kissed me in that field, when you kissed me after that ride... Lady you rocked my world."

  Her breath was deep and sobbing. Repeating herself, she asked, "why did you do that? Almost kill yourself?"

  Different variations and answers were needed for the same question Paige asked. I gave her another explanation, but similar to the first answer. "I wanted to get your attention."

  Her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows lifted. "Are you serious? You wanted to get my attention?" She let out a low burst of air. She halfway smiled and scratched her chin with her nails. It was so quiet in the room; you could've cut it like butter. She sat back down into the chair in the corner. She placed her face into her palms. Paige looked back up at me. "I am not going to deny that I don't have feelings for you. But this relationship is impossible, it cannot be done."

  I sat at the edge of the bed. Toes cringing at the ends of my feet. I wasn't staring at her, but rather out at the fading afternoon that was disappearing so quickly outside. "Look, maybe it was a bad judgment call on my side. But I do like you, a lot. I'm not asking for anything, I just want to know if you are okay. I remembered everything that you told me, I will never forget it. I swear to God, I will get him, for all that he has done." My eyes were locked on hers.

  "Thank you, but there is no need. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. I just want you to do me one thing. I need you to stay alive, and don't let your emotions for me get mixed up in this race. Do you understand?"

  I nodded. I felt a piercing pain i
n the right side of my ribs. I grabbed it and let out a short moan.

  Paige was up in an instant. She came to me quickly. She helped me lie back down into bed. "You need to lie down and rest. You are not well. Lillian, you took quite a beating. Dr. Cole will be out later tonight to administer your shot. I've done the best I can do so far. Your healing is not as fast as it was last week. I think your becoming immune to the shot."

  "Does Dr. Cole know this?" I asked, eyes wide laying upon my pillow.

  "Yes, I believe Dr. Cole is currently working on a new formula." Paige pulled back the covers and got me back underneath them. She fluffed my pillow, extending her torso over my face. I closed my eyes and breathed her in. "Are you hungry?" She asked.

  It was the soft gorgeous tone of her voice that always melted me like slow candle wax. I could live a millennium in darkness, only if I could hear her voice. "How long have I been out?"

  "Well, it's Monday, so, you have been out for about two days. You have your last fight next week." After Paige was done making me comfortable, she sat on the bed next to me. "Will you promise me something Lillian?" Paige took my hand into hers.

  "Anything." I replied. Her facial expression was worried. I could see the years of hen fighting were adding wear into her face. Stress was building everywhere. I could tell she was getting tired of everything. I could tell that she wanted just to live her own life, a normal one. Paige Jackson wanted one thing and one thing only in life. She wanted a normal life to live, with someone to love her. I had no idea if I was a type of girl that she would accept love from, but I knew in my heart that I would have no problem loving her for the rest of my life. I had been gone for over year. During that duration, the one constant in my life was her. If it was not for Paige, I would not be breathing.

  Paige took a deep breath and she released. "I need you to make sure that you leave your emotions out of this."

  "But I thought I was using my emotions not be a violent killer?"

  "True. Never mind. Just do me a favor Lill." Professional as usual. Paige sat motionless on the bed. She spoke without looking at me. She spoke staring out at the ocean. "If you care for me at all, you will never, ever, pull a stunt like that again. Do you understand?" She looked at me, eyes fierce.

  I had no words, I just nodded.

  "Good." She said. Paige slowly rose from the bed and nonchalantly paced toward the sliding glass doors. She quietly watched as it was another rainy, windy day. Paige gazed out silently as the waves rocked the shore. She unlocked and opened the sliding door, briefly. The room was quickly entwined with the coldness of the outside and the gorgeous smell of rain and sandy beach. She closed the door, and stood there for a moment, quietly and then she spoke. "I do care for you Lill, I do." She turned from the door began to walk toward me. Her eyes were as pure as angels themselves. "But I feel the closer we get together, the more we have to lose."

  I sat up from the bed and looked at her. "We cannot lose anything. The only things are to gain."

  She shook her head again. "No, no. Nothing good ever comes of this. I know. No matter what, at some point, I will lose you. I don't want to."

  Painfully, I lifted myself from the bed. She didn't hesitate and she didn't move, she allowed me to place my arms around her waist. I moved in close to her. I moved in so very close that my lips almost touched hers. "I know, that you already have my future plans planed out for me. I know, that you think I'm going to die soon. But what you don't know, is that I already have everything planned out. I am not going to die." By the end of the sentence my hands were wrapped around her face. So close within breathing distance, I could have inhaled her in.

  "I hope you know what you are doing."

  "Without a doubt." I said. "Give me time, and I shall find a way out of this, for both of us."

  It was a frown smile. She moved in closely and softly planted her lips upon mine. The kiss with her was so soft and divine. I had Paige's wonderful lips over mine. She pulled away quickly and shooed me back into bed. I did not hesitate, I obeyed. She went for the door and asked one more time as her hand laid on the knob. "Are you hungry?"

  I smiled and nodded. With that, she disappeared through the door. I laid there, still smiling. I propped both my palms underneath the back of my head staring at the ceiling, still smiling. If there was any hope for me throughout this whole ordeal, Paige was it. I meant it when I told her I was getting us out of this. When the time was right, I would go after who it was that sold me out, and then I would go after the man, Paul Bishop. My fear these days was shortening as I was becoming fearless.

  The week was better and filled with fewer disappointments. Dr. Cole, as usual administered my shot. He even smiled as he gave it to me. He told me it was a stronger new concoction. He told me it was filled with more amino acids and antioxidants that would help me heal faster. He wasn't kidding. By Tuesday, I was nearly at 100% better. By Wednesday Fitz and I began training again. Our training sessions lasted longer than usual. My championship fight was on Saturday and it was the fight of big bucks. Paige and I were doing much better. Though we had very little time to spend with each other, we spent it wisely. Wednesday night, Thursday and Friday, we walked on the beach and talked. We conversed about each other and we talked about life. It was really hard to tell if she agreed on being in a relationship. I wasn't going to press the matter, I was just happy that she was back to normal.

  The whole week I was nervous. By Friday, I watched movies of Catherine Hermosa, a.k.a. Cat the Claws, whom I was to fight next. She was equipped with brass knuckles that shot out projectile spears. I was informed that in a championship fight, weapons were allowed at the start. I was nervous. I knew I could throw knives, but having brass knuckles that had five projectile spears, 10 projectile spears shooting out at you at any time, I became very nervous. I hoped that I was quick enough to dodge them. I hoped that my superior bone structure would stand up to them. I still remembered my virtue of mercy. It was hard to deal with the fact that killing was approved at any point in time. It sickened me to hear that killing heightened the bonuses of winning.

  I spent the last hours of the day before we left for the fight with Fitz. He assured me that everything was going to be okay. He assured me that I was going to do well.

  "Are you sure? I never been in the situation were killing was approved."

  He sat there beside me, motionless. Lips pursed and fingers entwined with each other. "You don't have to kill, Lill. Remember your virtue of mercy. But also remember if she goes too far?"

  "I know." I replied, taking a deep breath and exhaling. "I know." I could not fathom the thought of killing another human being. But I knew it was a possibility, and I knew if all else failed it was something that I would have to do. I hated the thought. I always wondered what went through the other girl's heads. Did they think the same way that I did? Either way, it was survival of the fittest. I would do what I would have to do.

  The ride up was quiet and I slept most of the way. There was a quick stop at a Walmart, in which Paige left to get some things. She quickly returned and we continued on our way. I tried to stay focused. I kept my eyes closed and took slow anxiety relieving breaths.

  As soon as we got to the factory, I was quickly shooed into the building. I warmed up in the waiting room, with only one person on my mind. Catherine Hermosa or a.k.a. Cat the Claws. As it was just Paige and I, she remained quiet, as did I. We both knew that there was so much riding on this fight, my life and our love. When my warm-ups were finished, I suited up. Boots, pants and my lucky Firebird T-shirt. The shirt was becoming drab and worn out, Paige trying her best to keep it sewn, but no matter what, it was still my lucky shirt.

  Just as Barrett, Clive and Fitz joined us in the room, we were summoned. Walking through the bland gray corridors, I was given my two knives on the way out to the killing floor. As I waited patiently for my cue to come out, I heard the background music for my opponent. So very peculiar for this kind of mood. It was Samuel barbers, Adagio for Strin
gs. As we walked up the lone plain stairs and entered the belly of the gutted out factory, the Adagio for Strings were coming to a crescendo. The strings lessened and then cutoff. .

  As I waited, and enjoyed the music, I looked around me. I saw well-dressed men and women. I saw men and women of power. I saw men and women that disgusted me. People that would pay for innocent human beings to be slaughtered was just plain disgusting. As I waited, I plunged my hands into my pockets. I saw across the way as Cat the Claws emerged from her under dwelling. The hairs on the back of my neck pricked up in a shear rush of fear. My breathing became sporadic, just looking at her, sent chills down my back. As I was dazed and in a fearful trance, a small boy walked up to me and lightly shook my arm.

  My gaze turned from Cat onto this boy. I was startled at first. He was at least 13 or 14, but to me he was still a boy. I looked from him and into the crowd, trying to figure out who would subject their child to this bloody show.

  The young boy looked at me and smiled. "Will you sign this? I've been watching you from the beginning. You're my new favorite fighter. You have heart, and I appreciate that." His voice was light and filled heavy with a Russian accent.

  The little man handed me, what look like a program. It was filled with pictures and bios of every girl. I flipped through it until I caught a glimpse of me. It was a picture of me, holding both my knives. The photograph looked like it was taken at beach house. I knew the house was riddled with cameras, but damn that was ridiculous. I read the bio out loud. "The new contender, the Switchblade Mama. With a heart as pure as gold. New to hen fighting this year, she uses her heart over hate. She fights with the virtue of mercy. She wishes only to survive. The Switchblade Mama, may come in a small package, which is not a force to be reckoned with." I smiled as I took the boys sharpie. I signed it, "Lillian Ann Cross, may you stay on the path of righteousness". I smiled and handed back the book. "What is your name young man?" I asked.

  He gratefully accepted the book back. "I am, Robert Bailey Ryans."

  I shook his hand. "Do me a favor little dude."

  Robert looked at me his eyes wide open. He was a young boy with big brown eyes. He smiled, and I knew anything that I told him, would soak it in. "Be kind to your fellow man. I appreciate that you like me. Do me a favor little guy, when you get older, please make sure that this ends."

  I didn't know if he understood what I just said. He looked at me smugly, smiled, placed the book close to his heart and disappeared into the crowds.

  The lights dimmed and the time drew near. My song begin to play and out from behind me, Barrett wrapped his arm around my shoulder, his breath reeking of booze. I turned my head in the other direction trying not to smell. The Gates opened and he pushed me onto the floor, my concentration gone. I stood out there, plan less and vulnerable.

  She was not very bigger than I, maybe 2 inches more. She had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was Hispanic, but her eyes blazed green like mine. She walked out onto the floor, with finesse. I saw her brass knuckles, equipped with 10 tiny projectile Spears and wondered how the mechanisms worked to shoot them out.

  I looked at her and she looked at me. Her eyes were fierce, but my mind was questioning. The crowd, the lights, the cage, everything had faded out. I tried to focus on her. I tried to think of her first move. She was already equipped, weapons upon her fists. I let my knives rest in their pocket.

  We waited as the crowd began to roar. We began to pace each other and circle. The order was finally shouted and the fight began.

  My breathing became heavy, my eyes became wide. Even after the order, we still circled each other. I watched her fists, for I knew they were lethal.

  Catherine, and distant from me, let out a mighty whale. She raised her fists high into the air and then pointed them at me. Right hand above the left hand. I knew what was coming.

  I crisscrossed my arms and covered my face with my hands. The Spears were launched. I felt the pain as one planted itself into my right hand. Two more, into my right arm, and three into my abdomen. She no longer had her Spears so I lowered my hands from my face. Quickly, I removed the lodged Spears from my arms, blood now streaming from the vacant holes. Without hesitation, I lunged at her. She tried to put up a block, but I ran, jumped and kicked her right in her upper torso. She landed flat on her back and I was on top of her in a second.

  I grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her up till her face met mine. I looked her into her eyes and I gave her a low growl. I was pissed. Still holding her shirt, I punched her a few times in the side of the head. My anger began to block my judgment. As I went in to give her another punch, she hit me from the other side with the brass knuckle.

  Dazed, I rose up quickly and fell to my back. The impact, sent me gasping for air. She was on top of me quickly. With her brass knuckles, Cat was hitting me from both sides of my head. As she came in for another blow, I reached out and grabbed her hand. With one hand stranded, she used her other. I grabbed it as well. With both her arms bound by my hands, I used all my power to give her a headbutt.

  The blow sent an explosion of blood protruding from her nose, momentarily phasing her. I took the moment to toss her off of me.

  She laid by my side, holding her bleeding nose. I rolled away from her and stood up. I still had not pulled my knives. As I stood and taunted her to get up, I could hear the crowd yelling my name. She was on the ground and in their terms, waiting to die. I wasn't about ready to unleash unholy hell. Even in the worst situations, I was still willing to teach the morals of life.

  Catherine finally rose and I waited patiently. Our fight, finally became a fist fight. Each of us took blow after blow. We threw kicks and took them. She hit me multiple times with her brass knuckles. My face was bloodied, just as battered as hers. The fight went on and we continued to hit, kick and throw each other about the killing floor.

  She was without a doubt a worthy adversary. I felt that show was over and it was time to end it. As it became another fistfight, I waited for another swing. Catherine shot out her arm once again, and I quickly dodged it. Before she could retract her arm, I quickly pulled up my switchblade and cut the bottom of her elbow. Blood began to spew out of it. She tried to cover it and I took it as an opportunity to drop kick her in the face. Cat fell to the ground quickly and without hesitation. I straddled her and began to choke her. I didn't want to kill her, just wanted to put her sleep. She struggled with me, punching me many times in the face, but I just kept my grip tight on her neck. As she passed out from the choking, I pulled my Spyderco from the pocket, pulled it open and placed close to her neck.

  The crowd was cheering for me to kill. With her passed out, I pressed my Spyderco harder into her neck piercing it ever so slightly that it drew blood. I looked up around the crowd. They were cheering for me to slit her throat.

  Catherine was gone and her reputation already preceded her, so I knew her name. I took my Spyderco, folded it back up and put it into my pocket. I placed my lips upon her forehead and kissed her. This wasn't Gladiator, so I had no Emperor to please. I looked into the crowd and saw Paul Bishop, sitting with Michelle. I saw his eagerness for me to end Catherine's life. I took the road less traveled and let Catherine live. I rose from her limp but alive body and looked into the crowd. Smiling, I turned and did a complete 360. The chants for kill, became louder. I extended both my arms and raised my middle fingers. I did another 360, flipping everyone off. I smiled as the blood rolled down my cheek, over my lip, down my teeth and into my mouth. I had a bloody face and a bloody mouth. I had tiny spears jammed into my stomach, and I just noticed tiny spears protruding out of my thighs. The crowd didn't boo at my fingers, but rather cheered. I felt as if they were getting use to my smart-ass. I smiled, and limped out of the cage.

  As I met Barrett, Clive and Fitz, they had no words. Their eyes were as big as a child's would be on Christmas morning as they saw all the presents lying underneath the tree. We walked back down stairs and into the corridors, all three boys talking
about all my moves. As I limped, Paige came up beside me and entwined her arm with mine, providing more support. Together, the four of us walked back the waiting room.

  As the boys dropped off Paige and I to the waiting room, they filled the corridor with the sounds of their loud laughter and wild stories, while on their way to a night filled with heavy drinking and celebration. Paige and I were left to ourselves. She pulled the projectiles from my body. I winced with pain on each and every one. As I stood there completely naked, Paige looked me up and down. She looked for any open gash that would need to be sewn, or anything that needed to be treated immediately. There was a pretty bad cut over my eye and she stitched it up. Paige gave me the okay, and I walked into the shower. The hot streams of water blasting over me, caused me pain in my open wounds, but I enjoyed every minute of it. As I was finished washing off, Paige brought me a towel. I dried off and she patched me up again. I was covered in gauze and bandages.

  "Well, that's the last of it." She said as she was placing the last bit of gauze over the projectile wound which was on my thigh.

  I quietly stood, naked and patched with gauze as Paige brought me my clothes. I smiled as I took them from her. Paige smiled back.

  I was the kind of girl that could not put on a pair of pants unless my socks were already on. I pulled up my panties, pulled over my bra, taking the remaining articles of clothes and sat on the bench. I put my socks on and then my pants.

  Paige sat on the bench next to me, her eyes were as warm as ever. I sat there, with just my jeans and bra on and looked her into the eyes. She was locked on me to. We leaned in closer and just as our lips met, the handle on the door began to turn.

  Paige got up quickly and tossed the shirt at me. "Hurry up and put your shirt on!"

  The door opened. The first person to walk through it was the man, Paul Bishop, with Michelle in tow. Barrett, Clive and Fitz followed.

  I kept my eyes on Michelle, sturdy but nervous. Between the both of them, it was Michelle who scared me the most. She looked at me like a lioness and I, her prey. She was behind Paul and in front of the boys. She looked at me viciously and sexually licked her lips. I began to sweat profusely. Finally, when Paul began to speak, I turned my attention toward him.

  "Fantastic job out there today. You did well. You made me a lot of money and, you made Barrett a lot of money too." He extended his hand and I hesitantly shook it. "We finally have a success in this team." Paul turned and walked toward Barrett. He drew close to his ear and whispered something into it. He then extended his arm and Michelle took it. Like a ghost, Paul Bishop vanished through the door.

  Barrett, giddy with excitement, walked up to me with a duffel bag firmly planted to his side. His eyes were wide and filled with excitement. I had never ever seen the man so filled with life. He raised both his arms tall and planted them upon my shoulders, firmly.

  I gave Barrett a cheesy smile as the aftershock sent a wave of pain throughout my body.

  "Kid, you done fucking good! Do you know how much money I hold this bag? 1 million clams. This is the biggest pay out we have ever had!" Barrett turned and began to walk out the door. "Hurry up! Let's pack up and get the Fuck out of here! We've got some celebrating to do!"

  With the bag covering my head, I sat in silence and listened to the quiet chatter throughout the car. At one point in time, I finally fell to sleep.

  I was shaken abruptly and woke up startled. Clive pulled the bag from my head. "Get da Fuck out kid. We gonna celebrate in dis house."

  I was escorted up the stairs and into my room by Clive. I walked to the bed and plopped down onto it, face first. I laid there for a bit, in pain, but almost reaching a comfortable slumber. As my eyes begin to drip down and close permanently for the night, I heard the door open. I lifted my head and looked at the door, hoping it was Paige.

  Barrett emerged, holding gifts. I sat up on the bed and he sat next to me. He laid down on the bed, a six pack of Miller light, a pack of cigarettes, and what appeared to be a porno magazine. His breath smelled of booze and he just smiled. He gave me a pat on the back. "For your troubles and hard work. Most would get laid after a fight that you had, but unfortunately for you," he poked me in the chest with his finger. "You ain't got no one one get laid with, so I brought you a porno magazine. Drink up, enjoy your night and lay yourself! We are gonna leave early in the morning."

  Barrett laughed huskily as he left the room. I could hear the remnants of his laugh echoing throughout the house. I sat on the bed, beer lying next to me, smirking. My mouth watered as I thought of it. I pulled the bottle out of the box and slowly opened the top. I took a sip. It was nothing but pure golden satisfaction. I waited till the flavors left my mouth and I took another sip. I closed my eyes and inhaled the entire beer in one sitting. Its cold bubbles penetrating all the way down. It was liquid gold. After I had guzzled down the first beer, I tossed the empty remnants of the bottle into the trash. I picked up another bottle and twisted off the lid. I took another long drink. I went back to the bed and eyeballed the pack of Paul Malls. I picked up the pack and opened it. I pulled off the foil and inhaled the fresh tobacco. I closed my eyes as I drew in breath. With my fingertips, I partially fished out a cigarette, grabbing the filter with my teeth and pulling out the rest of the way. With beer in hand, and cigarette in my mouth, I walked out to the patio. The cool wind hit me and I embraced it comfortably. I took a deep breath and inhaled the ocean. I walked over to the outside table and picked up matches. I struck it and slowly and lit my cigarette, careful not to let the wind blow out the tiny flame. The first inhale was a deep one. I inhaled so deeply, I almost cleared the whole cigarette. After the deep drag, I took another swig from my beer. I put the cigarette into the ashtray and walked back into the room. I picked up the porno magazine, turned on the patio lights and walked back out.

  I leaned up against the balcony and placed my beer upon it. With my cigarette in hand, I began to thumb through the magazine. I was always a sucker for the columns, so I read them. I laid my eyes on the pictures and gazed on all of their naked flesh, hard core penetration that was frozen in time. I really did not care for the brutality that was sometimes depicted in pron magazines, the men with their ladies. As I thumbed through the pages, I imagined Paige's skin beneath my fingertips. I wished for her warmth and her beauty. As the pages of the magazine flipped through my fingers, I figured it would suffice. I would rather feel Paige instead. I figured I must make do with what I had. I had a beer, I had a smoke and I had porn. What more could a girl want?

  I stayed out on the balcony a majority of the night. I was on my fifth beer and smoking my fourth cigarette. I was knee-deep into a story in my porno mag when I heard the sliding door open. I didn't turn, I just continued to read my article. "Please thank your father for the beer, the cigs and the porn." I didn't look, but I knew it was Paige. I could smell her from the door. I could feel her presence, her energy, and her innocence.

  "Lillian, look at me."

  Her voice was low and sultry. Her voice was different from what I had heard from before. With the cigarette in my mouth, porno mag in hand, I slowly turned around. Paige was Paige no more. She was wearing a light lavender lingerie. Her hair was down, curled at the ends and beautiful. She was wearing makeup and looked like a woman I had never seen before. She was so grown up. Her lipstick matched her red fingernails and toenails. As I slowly dropped my lower lip, the cigarette pealed from it and fell to the wooden planks of the patio below. "Paige? Is that you?" I asked, cocking my right brow.

  She looked at me. "In the flesh." She looked herself up and down. "Well, almost." As if she was gliding, she came to me quickly and wrapped her arms around my neck. My mouth was still dropped open.

  "You might want to close that mouth. I may try to put something in it."

  I was froze. I stood motionless, jaw still dropped. Eyes wide as full moons.

  She took her hand, slid it from behind my ear and traced it down my arm into my hand. She grabbed a hold of the magaz
ine. "If you're busy, I can come back later."

  I never left her eyes. She was about one or two inches taller that I, but I kept my eye contact. "No ma'am. I am free to accept your company."

  She quickly took the magazine from my hand and blankly threw it into the corner.

  I swallowed hard. "Where is everybody?"

  "Passed out."

  "How?" I asked.

  Page leaned in close and planted a kiss directly on my lips." I slipped NyQuil into their drinks. It's a handy thing to have, it tastes just like Jagger. I suspect they won't wake up anytime soon."

  I glanced up at the overhead cameras and pointed to them with my eyebrows. "And those?"

  She placed her tongue on the lower part of my chin and slowly glided it up to my lips. She then whispered quietly into my ear. "I turned them off."

  Finally secured, I dropped the bottle of beer from my hand and placed my hands around her hips. We touched four-head to four-head. She kissed me ever so deeply and pulled back. "It's getting cold out here."

  As I took my hands from her hips, I slid them up her torso and over her breasts. I could feel the hardness of her nipples. "Yes, it is. Shall we go inside?"

  She took my hand and led. As soon as we entered the room, she swung me around and tossed me onto the bed. It had been over a year since I had a drop of alcohol. I was on my fifth beer and I was buzzing, but I tried to stay focused.

  I laid with my back flat on the bed and my legs hanging off of it. She wedged herself in between them. She leaned over and placed a hand on each side of my head. I gave her my utmost attention. I couldn't help but notice the single string that was keeping her subtle but beautiful breasts tightly packed into her lingerie.

  She noticed my gaze. "Go ahead. Pull the string and release them."

  I slowly pulled the string and they fell apart revealing so much more. I rose and slowly kissed each breast. I felt pain and pressure in my torso, but I continued to press on. I took my hands, slid them up over her breasts, and caressed her beautiful buttermilk neck. My lips met hers once again. I altered her position. I slowly rose and rotated her onto the bed, peeling off my shirt.

  Paige rose from the bed quickly. Removed the top of her lingerie, revealing a delicate and fragile body. It was a body that reminded me of the pale sunlight on cloudy days. She stood there, willing and vulnerable in nothing but her lavender thong.

  Gently, I placed my hands around her hips. With pure and caring eyes, she slid her hands over my naked flesh. Both of her hands were over my face, hovering, slightly touching. She took her soft fingertips and gradually glided them up and down the scar that was forever embedded onto the left side of my face. She leaned in and began to kiss the scar. As I stood, still kissing, she made her way down my chest and onto my belly. She began to kiss the stab wound that I had received a week before.

  My body trembled beneath her touch. My mouth watered with desire for her. I wanted nothing more than to devour her with my mouth, take her quickly, but I knew nights like this, if at all would happen, were rare. No matter how bad I wanted it, I would take my time and let her take hers.

  Paige undid my belt and pulled it from my pants loops. She extended her arm and dropped it to the floor. She undid the button to my pants, slowly unzipping. Paige slowly peeled them down so that they hung off of my hips. She began to kiss my lower abdomen. With a gorgeous, pure set of eyes, her head raised and she looked at me. "Sit on the bed and take off your boots please."

  I obeyed. I sat, lifted each leg, and removed a boot and a sock. As I sat, I watched.

  Like a ghost, Paige glided up from her kneeling position. She came to me, floating like a cloud. Topless and beautiful. As she moved in, I extended my arms to feel her. She took both my hands and pinned them behind my back. I obeyed her restraints. Paige remove my bra. She took her hands and caressed them all over my upper body. Something that she had never felt before. Each and every touch sent a tingling sensation throughout my body. She took her time and did it slowly, all the while staring into my eyes. She reached her hands up to my chin and slowly kissed. She pulled back. "Let's get these pants off of you."

  She pulled my pants off carefully, trying very hard not to cause me any pain. She leaned in to kiss me once again. I placed my index finger and middle finger upon her lips before she could. "Paige, I kind of have not been with another woman for a while. I'm a bit rusty."

  She smiled. She took my two fingers and put them into her mouth. She sucked on them, pulled them out, leaving a trail of saliva dripping from them. She then took them and placed them between her legs. "You just leave everything to me." She said smiling. Paige leaned into my ear, trailed the rim of it with her tongue and slowly whispered, "You can return the favor later." She began moving my fingers, slowly back and forth between her legs.

  "Have you been with another woman before?" I took her lead and began to feel more deeply.

  "Shhh." She said. "I have been watching a lot of lesbian porn for the last couple weeks, so yeah, I did my homework." She let out a little giggle. "It doesn't matter, can you not feel how badly I want you right now?"

  I closed my eyes, lifted my head back and laughed as well. I definitely felt it, 100% I placed my hands over her cheeks and brought her in for a deep kiss. Paige was so beautiful in every way I was so grateful to have her in my arms, to feel her, to share her soul with mine. The whole ordeal was bull shit, but the greatest thing in life, was being with Paige.

  As the night progressed, our souls entwined and became one. Our bond became strong. I became familiar with every part of Paige's body as she became familiar with mine. There was not one part of the body that our tongues did not process that night. I never felt so strongly in my life. I tried to keep all thoughts of negativity out of my mind, but I couldn't shake the thought of losing our bond.

  I had been with other women before, but she was the only woman to make me climax the way I did. Her arms were wrapped around me and I hoped that I could see her, laying next me in the morning of the early twilight sun.