Losing It

by Shay Violet

  “Are you sure?” He asked.

  The time for words was past. I responded with action. In one fluid motion, my top was on the floor of his trailer, followed by my shoes. His eyes widened as he drank in my naked shoulders and collarbone and down lower, to where I was glad I’d happened to wear my nicest bra that day, the green, lacy one. It fit me perfectly, creating maximum lift and depth of cleavage. I didn’t have breasts like K.K. or Savannah; mine were more modest, probably due to my years of training my body for track, but I was proud of what I did have, and Lucas seemed appreciative.

  He stared in wonder, and I reached back and as gracefully as I could manage, removed my bra and tossed it onto my top.

  I took Lucas’s hand in mine and placed it on my breast, biting my bottom lip as his thumb dragged slowly across my nipple, pulling it down and then releasing it so it sprang back up. He repeated the motion, making me whimper and squirm in my seat as his free hand found my other nipple and grazed it with his knuckle. I felt as though I might come just from that alone if he kept it up.

  There were times I’d pinch and tug at my own nipples when into a particularly feverish masturbatory frenzy, but it had never felt as good as Lucas just barely touching them.

  I broke the trance my breasts had placed him in by reaching for the bottom of his purple t-shirt, and he obliged me, raising his arms up and letting me pull it off.

  Shirtless, he looked even better than I’d have hoped he could. Broad shoulders framed powerful pecs that tapered down to the wonderful six-pack I’d so briefly and torturously glimpsed outside just a short time ago.

  For the first time, I noticed that his dick was straining against his pants, tenting awkwardly. It needed to be set free! Immediately!

  “I want it. I want to see it, I want to taste it, I want to feel it,” I said, glancing down at the bulge. Geez, Paris, slutty much?

  “Paris, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he stared at me, his eyes moving from mine back down to my breasts and back up to my neck.

  He leaned forward and kissed my throat, forcing me to throw my arms around his shoulders and cradle the back of his head in my hands.

  His mouth moved from the side of my neck around to the front of my throat and down across my collarbone, and I leaned back to invite his mouth lower.

  My nipples were fairly screaming for more attention.

  He gently lifted my left breast to his mouth, swirling his tongue around my swollen bud before sucking on it firmly.

  “Oh… fuck,” I moaned, any pretense at civility long gone.

  I held his head in place, never wanting him to stop.

  He became more aggressive, his teeth capturing my nipple as his tongue bathed it. Mini shockwaves pulsed through my core, paving the way for what to come.

  Lucas withdrew, just long enough to switch to my other breast, and he repeated his performance, much to my delight.

  My hand fell between my thighs. I needed some sort of pressure there to quench the fire that threatened to engulf both of us, the trailer, truck, and all of Tallahassee.

  When I applied pressure, my breath caught in my throat, a choking moan that surprised him.

  “Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?” Lucas asked in the most adorable tone of voice.

  “You’re doing everything right,” I purred back.

  He returned to my breasts, and I reclined back and basked in the way he lavished attention on them.

  As he worked, I found the buttons on the pants. I had work of my own to do and I undid them, wriggling them over my hips, down, and off. All that remained were the green silk panties that went with the bra. Thank God. I have some underwear I’m not particularly proud of; much more functional than anything else. These were actually sexy, I thought. I hoped.

  Lucas’s hand slid down my bare thigh, around the bend of my knee and down the back of my calf. He reversed the motion at my ankle, making his way back up the front of my shin and around the back of my thigh, slowly, as he kissed, sucked, and licked my breasts.

  “You,” kiss, “have,” kiss, “the sexiest,” kiss, “legs,” kiss, “ever,” he said as he began to cover ribcage and around my belly button with kisses.

  His big hands continued massaging my legs.

  I was beyond being able to carry on a conversation or even compose a sensible sentence.

  “Your dick,” I practically begged. “Please, Lucas.”

  He stood up and fumbled with his belt, finally yanking it free of his jeans completely and casting it aside.

  As he undid the buttons and unzipped, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. No man had seen my pussy before. Ever.

  It felt like the first time I jumped off a diving board or the first time I hit a high hurdle going full speed. Once I slipped my panties off, I’d be in mid-air over the hurdle, hoping I’d cleared it. I’d be suspended above that crystal blue water three feet below, hoping I would shatter into a million pieces when I hit it as six-year-old me feared.

  My panties caught on my left ankle just as Lucas pulled the waistband of his boxers clear of his cock.

  I hoped I didn’t look too ridiculous lying there naked and staring.

  His dick looked enormous to my inexperienced eyes. It bobbed in the air obscenely, the tip glistening.

  I sat up and reached for it unabashedly, taking it in one and then both hands, marveling at how something could be so hard and yet so soft at the same time. It was warm and had heft to it. It pulsed in my hand. I wanted to have it nearby always and forever and be able to reach out and touch it, play with it, fuck it, whenever I wanted to. I was immediately envious of all men that they had such a toy they had access to 24/7 to pull on and stroke and hold and dammit it felt so good in my hands.

  I looked up at him and found his head tossed back as my hands slipped and slid along his shaft, lubricated by the clear droplets oozing out the end. He groaned a deep, manly rumble, and I shuddered.

  I suddenly realized I’d completely forgotten the rest of him, and I apologetically reached below his dick with one hand to feel a set of balls for the first time.

  If having a dick in my hands was fun, Lucas’s balls were another level entirely. I suppose I’d never spent any time considering what they’d feel like, but they were tight and full, the skin different from his dick, and I squeezed them softly, making him make a whimpering sound that went directly to my clit.

  I squeezed again, harder, and his glazed eyes opened and fixed on mine. “Easy,” he gasped.

  “Sorry,” I said, caressing them softly, which changed his demeanor instantly. He trembled and a large dollop of what I’d later come to know as precum oozed out of him.

  “Can you never ever stop holding my dick and balls in your hands, please?” he said between moans. “It feels so fucking good.”

  I stood up, still holding him in both hands, and started kissing him again. He held my face in both hands and kissed me desperately, and I inhaled his moans as I tested what felt best to him. I found that swirling my palm in circles on the end of his dick got the strongest response, so I did that more frequently and speed as he got more and more wet.

  I was soaked.

  He pulled away from our kiss despite me trying to follow his mouth with mine.

  “Paris, you’re going to make me come. You have to slow down,” he pleaded with me. I gave him a firm squeeze and one last rub across his head and his arms encircled my shoulders to keep him upright.

  I had a volcano ready to erupt between my thighs.

  He seemed much too large to have him slamming into me like I imagined sex going, so I suggested he sit down on the couch instead. I wanted to maintain some sort of control of what was going to happen to my body, even though my pussy was screaming in my ear that it needed to be filled and pounded.

  He sat back on the couch, arms spread like wings, smiling.

  “What?” I asked, suspicious of his grin.

  “I thought I was lucky with the stupid Bitcoin,” he said. “But I neve
r in a million lifetimes thought I’d ever be lucky enough to be with somebody who looks like you. You’re glorious.”

  I straddled him and kissed him, his hardness touching my stomach.

  My hand reached down between us and positioned him at my opening. Our eyes locked and I lowered myself inch by excruciating inch.

  I was a virgin in the technical sense of the word, but I had experience with my toys and fingers. I was no tight ingenue who’d bleed at the first introduction of some skinny little penis.

  But the way Lucas stretched me was painful and a different kind of fullness than I’d ever experienced. I was grateful for my foresight to insist on being on top and in charge.

  I was halfway down, eyes closed, biting my lip as I focused on the searing sensations splitting my center.

  Lucas’s hands found my arms and caressed them from my shoulders down to my wrists, which flanked his head as I supported myself.

  His right hand moved to my ribcage, grasping me there possessively and urging me gently to take him deeper.

  I obliged, letting myself engulf him fully. I yelped as he touched a place inside me that I didn’t know was there, and tears stung my eyes.

  I rose up and dropped again, finding a pleasing rhythm.

  My hips rolled and ground against him, undulating as I sought my climax.

  He pulled my right hand around in front of him and began kissing it, sucking my fingers into his mouth one by one as I fucked him. The hand on my side migrated around to my lower back and then my ass, pulling me tighter toward him.

  His head fell back, and he struggled for coherence. “Paris, your, oh! Your body…it feels…I’m gonna…oh fuck!”

  Everything happened at once.

  I felt a boiling inside me, like when I’ve left something on the stove too long and the lid begins to rattle and pop. I rode him harder and the top flew off the pot and smashed into the ceiling. The shattering I feared as a little girl on the diving boards finally happened. But it was my mind and soul fracturing all at once, not my body. My body simply shook and trembled and flexed and thrashed, completely beyond my control.

  As my orgasm tore through me, Lucas shouted a warning. One I couldn’t have heeded even if I wanted to.

  “Paris, I’m gonna come you have to… Oh!”

  I felt his orgasm inside me. His dick pulsed and I could actually feel him emptying himself inside me. Coolest thing ever, by the way.

  We grabbed one another in an almost violent embrace, clutching, holding, kissing, coming.

  When it finally subsided, he was still inside me and I slid and rolled and twisted until I was on my back and he was above me, our bodies slick with sweat and breathing heavy.

  He kissed my face, my cheeks and the sides of my nose, my fluttering eyelids, across my chin, then sweetly on the mouth.

  Before I realized what was happening, I felt him slowly fucking me again. Weren’t guys supposed to come and then, like, I don’t know, fall asleep or something?

  “I can’t stop,” he whispered. “Is it okay?”

  “Nothing has ever been more okay,” I said wearily and lay there as he took his pleasure from me.

  His hands explored me as he gave me long, slow thrusts. My pussy felt battered and bruised since everything was new, but I wrapped my legs behind his and my body invited him in deeper, again and again.

  I came for him twice more before he climaxed, and by the time he was finished, I was a limp, exhausted ragdoll.

  He tenderly placed a towel between my legs and wrapped a blanket around my nakedness as he pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

  “Do you like Mexican?” he asked me softly.

  I nodded.

  “Be right back. I’ll lock it. You’ll be safe.”

  I drifted off into a light sleep with a delightful soreness I wanted to become deeply familiar with.

  7

  Lucas woke me up by softly calling my name. I stretched and looked over to find a robe folded up on the table next to me.

  “It says it’s one-size-fits-all, I hope it works,” he said. “I walked over to Marshalls and it was the best thing I could find there.”

  “Oh, I guess you didn’t want me getting dressed?” I asked playfully.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I just wanted you to be comfort-” he began, then he laughed. “Yeah, and that, too.”

  “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a lot,” he continued, pointing to two huge bags behind him on the counter.

  “We’ll eat what we want, and I saw a homeless dude out by the road, we’ll give him the rest if it’s okay?”

  “Was he tall and skinny?” I asked.

  “Yeah, taller than me. Like 6’5, maybe.”

  “I bet it was Delbert,” I said. “He’s always around. People say he played basketball at FAMU way back when, before he wound up on the streets. He’s generally harmless, but he gets really angry sometimes. I think he self medicates. He has good days and bad days. He hands out flowers to girls on campus sometimes. I don’t know where he gets them. He’s given them to me sometimes. It always lifts my spirits. That’s sweet that you’d want to feed him.”

  “Hey, I’ve been there,” Lucas said. “Not the drug part, but back in Juneau there were definitely times I didn’t know what my next meal would be or where I’d lay my head that night.

  “Would have been a lot nicer being homeless here in the wintertime than in Alaska, I bet,” he said.

  “Yikes, I can’t imagine that kind of cold. I’m a southern girl through and through.”

  “You’d be surprised,” he replied. “Juneau is practically tropical compared to some parts of Alaska. It’s not Barrow or Nome, that’s for sure. It almost never gets below zero there.”

  “Balmy!” I said, and we laughed.

  Lucas divvied up the food from Antonio’s, the Mexican place two doors down from Starbucks. I put on the robe, which wasn’t a color I’d have picked (Pink isn’t my thing), but I was grateful for it and knew he’d done the best he could on short notice. He’d gotten my favorite, carne asada, and I wasn’t the least bit ashamed to eat the entire thing. Losing one’s virginity is exhausting, hungry work!

  He ate an enchilada and four tacos, leaving two huge burritos and some soft tacos. He grabbed a bottle of soda from the fridge and a jumbo Twix candy bar from a box in his cabinet.

  “It’s my guilty pleasure,” he confessed. “Best candy bar on earth. And do you know where the name comes from?”

  “I do not,” I said and smiled. “But I bet you do.”

  “It’s a portmanteau for ‘twin biscuit sticks.’”

  “How many of the girls you bring in here know what portmanteau means?” I asked accusingly.

  Poor Lucas looked shocked. “I… Paris, I promise, I was telling the truth. There aren’t any other-”

  “I know,” I said. “But you’re so cute when you’re flustered that I can’t help myself.”

  I stood up and let the robe fall to the floor, standing there naked, enjoying his eyes on my body. “I’m going to get dressed and go with you to take Delbert his dinner.”

  Lucas stared at me with a smirk. “Paris, your body is insane. I can’t believe how sexy you are.”

  “Thank you, handsome,” I said back. “You’re quite the hottie yourself.”

  He bowed deeply. “Thanks for the genetics, mom and dad, whoever you are!”

  We ventured out into the dark parking lot, bags in hand, and walked over to the corner of the lot where there was a small stand of trees, where I knew Delbert to hang out sometimes.

  As we approached, we heard voices, muffled at first, then louder, like an argument.

  “Maybe this isn’t the best idea,” I said. “It’s really dark over there, and we don’t even know if Delbert is there.”

  Lucas had a serious look on his face, and he increased his pace. “No, that doesn’t sound right,” he said. “Somebody might be in trouble.”

  It was clearer now, several voices, three or four, cussing
and arguing.

  There was very little light, a couple of dumpsters, and a fence behind the trees, creating a small, semi-enclosed space.

  “I told you I ain’t holding nothing, man!” One of the voices yelled, followed by the sound of a struggle.

  “Fuck you! Give me that shit!”

  “Come on, yo!”

  There was definitely a struggle happening, a fight.

  “Lucas, we should just go and call the police,” I insisted in a loud whisper.

  “Hold these,” he said, handing me the bags and breaking into a light jog.

  “Delbert?” he called out. “Delbert!”

  I hustled behind him, coming around the dumpsters to find Delbert on the ground with two men standing over him.

  “Get the fuck outta here, white boy, this don’t concern you,” one of the men growled at Lucas.

  I stopped in my tracks. The second man turned, holding a knife.

  “Nah,” the knife-wielding man said. “All this concerns me. Come closer, baby, what you got in them bags?”

  “Nothing for you,” Lucas answered angrily, approaching the two men while shaking his arms loose.

  “Lucas!” I screamed.

  The man with the knife stepped forward toward Lucas as Delbert scrambled to his feet behind the two would-be muggers.

  “Come on,” Lucas said. “Show me if you know how to use that thing.”

  The man lunged forward slicing through the air, narrowly missing Lucas, who deftly side-stepped him. He swung back around, and Lucas ducked away, this time sliding forward and wrapping his arms around the man’s midsection. He twisted backwards and down, slamming the man to the pavement, jarring the knife loose.

  Delbert made a menacing motion toward the other man and he fled toward the fence, scaling it and disappearing into a culvert.

  Lucas moved into a crouch and slid behind his opponent, wrapping an arm around his throat and both legs around his waist.

  The man flailed for a moment and slumped, unconscious.

  Delbert and I stared at Lucas, unsure how to proceed.

  Lucas picked up the knife and chucked it into one of the dumpsters.