Losing It

by Shay Violet

  “I guess I didn’t mention that I’ve taken judo,” he said to me. “Growing up in group homes and foster homes you can’t imagine the amount of bullying, and not just from other kids. As soon as I got out, I started taking any and every self-defense class I could afford. Jiu jitsu and judo are my favorites. Everything is cool. Are you okay?” He was focused on Delbert now.

  Delbert nodded, and I approached him with the bags of food.

  “It’s burritos and some other stuff, in case you’re hungry,” I explained.

  “You work at FAMU, right?” he asked, accepting the bags warily.

  “Yes, that’s right,” I said.

  “I thought so, pretty lady. I’ve seen you on campus. You’ve helped me out before.”

  “When I can,” I said. “Thank you for the flowers, Delbert.”

  “Thank you both,” he replied.

  “Get somewhere safe,” Lucas said. “These guys seem like trouble. He's gonna wake up with a headache, and not in a good mood, I bet.”

  “Yes sir,” Delbert replied, already walking across the parking lot, back into the light, bounty in hand. “God bless you both.”

  8

  I went home shortly thereafter, collecting my food from the Airstream. I made Lucas promise not to spend the night in that lot with a couple of guys potentially hellbent on revenge.

  My bed never felt so good, and my body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds as I sank into a deep slumber. I’m usually a morning person, but when my alarm went off, the last thing I wanted to do was get up.

  When I did, I found I’d missed a couple late-night texts from Savannah, asking if I was okay.

  “Better than okay, had a great time!”

  She replied later in the day, once she was up, west coast time putting her three hours behind.

  “Well…?” she asked, and I knew what she meant.

  I wasn’t ready for the world to know that I was no longer Paris the Virgin.

  “He’s great, we had lots of fun!”

  “Fun? Or fun?” she asked.

  “We don’t talk about our resolutions until we meet at Sadie’s,” I protested.

  “True. But if you’d have done it, you’d tell. I know you!”

  She knew me as well as anybody ever had, but a lady has to keep a few secrets.

  I showered, my nipples and pussy were ultra-sensitive. I had to make myself come to clear my head as the hot water crashed down on me.

  It was easy with Lucas Tucker to think about.

  I drove through the parking lot from the night before to make sure Lucas had kept his word, and he had. His truck and trailer were nowhere to be found.

  Because they were parked at FAMU.

  I walked into the admissions office and Miss Claudia greeted me. “Good morning, Paris.” She looked me up and down and cocked her head.

  “Oh, my goodness,” she exclaimed. “Who was it?”

  “Who was what?” I asked.

  She twisted up her face. “Girl, you can’t fool Miss Claudia. You think I can’t tell?”

  “Tell what?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.

  “You’ve been with a man!” Miss Claudia exclaimed.

  I stuttered and stammered while she laughed and slapped her legs. “Paris, the way you’re walking and the way you’re smiling tells me it was good. I just want to know who the lucky brother was, that’s all!”

  “Well, a lady never tells her secrets,” I said. “And I’m not saying if I did or I didn’t.”

  “Oh, honey,” she said. “There’s no use playing that game. I know you did. But I can respect your privacy. I just want to live vicariously through you, that’s all! Is it anybody I know? At least tell me that.”

  “No,” I admitted. “You don’t know him, I’m sure of it. He’s from out of town.”

  “Indeed,” she said in a tone that told me she didn’t necessarily believe me. “But I’ll get to the bottom of this sooner or later.” She wagged a finger in my direction.

  “We’ll see,” I said, and set my things down on my desk.

  “Oh! I almost forgot,” Miss Claudia called out. “Remember that boy we were talking about yesterday, the one with all the unusual schools on his transcript? Lucas Tucker?”

  My heart raced at the mention of his name and butterflies flitted around in my stomach.

  “Yes?”

  “Well, he’s here. As in, here. For an interview.”

  “He is?”

  “Indeed. And brace yourself, Paris,” she continued. “He’s white!”

  “Indeed,” I said, hiding my smile. “Let me get organized and I’ll see him.”

  9

  I tidied up my desk, pulled out Lucas’s paperwork, and slipped into the bathroom to check myself in the mirror.

  Satisfied, I stepped out into our small waiting area.

  “Lucas Tucker?” I called out, as if I had no idea who to expect.

  He stood up from where he’d been sitting and reading a book. He was wearing khaki pants and a blue polo shirt. He was freshly shaved and looked like he’d stepped off a GQ cover.

  “Hello, I’m Lucas Tucker,” he said and extended his hand, which I shook.

  “Right this way, Mr. Tucker,” I said, and ushered him to my cubicle.

  “Does it hurt to be so pretty?” he leaned in and asked me in a whisper as we passed through the hallway.

  “Stop it, silly,” I hissed back.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he continued. “Not even for a moment.”

  We reached my pitiful excuse for an office and I sat down opposite him next to me desk.

  “I’ve looked over your application,” I said as professionally as I possibly could. “And I’d like to invite you to be part of the ‘FAMUly’ in the Fall, if you’re still interested.

  “Will you require a FAFSA?” I asked, referring to financial aid paperwork.

  “No, I’d like to pay up front, with cash,” Lucas answered. “But there’s something else I’d like to discuss.”

  Here we go, I thought. Yes, I’d love to have your dick back inside me, at your earliest convenience. But some of us have to work for a living, and I can’t discuss such matters at work!

  “It’s a Mister Delbert Ventress. He was a student here twenty-two years ago. He played on the basketball team for two years. He’s interested in completing his degree.”

  “Lucas, what are you…” I asked in a whisper. If Miss Claudia could hear what was coming from my cubicle, which I knew she could, I wanted it to sound as professional as possible.

  “Education is important. Mr. Ventress has fallen on tough times. But he’s getting back on his feet.

  “He’ll be residing in the Blue Coral Apartments; I’ll have his address and phone number to you by the end of the day. You hopefully have his records in the system somewhere, so you’ll know where to place him, academically speaking.”

  I knew the apartments, they weren’t far from campus, not the nicest in town, but not the worst either. No way could a homeless guy afford them all of a sudden. Likewise, he wouldn’t qualify for any standard scholarship or student loan programs. I guessed his athletic scholarship money had run out long ago.

  I was flabbergasted.

  “I can… Sure, I can get to work on that, yes.”

  “I’m sponsoring him. Whatever he needs. He’ll be cleaned up and ready to go in the fall,” Lucas said with a wink.

  I jotted down the scant information I had on Delbert, to enable me to begin processing him later in the day.

  “Dinner tonight?” Lucas leaned in and asked me quietly.

  I stared back at him. His proximity made certain parts of my body ache.

  “I get off at 5:00. I’ll be home by 5:20. Be waiting for me there if you can. I need to be with you again. Like, as soon as physically possible.”

  He grinned broadly. “I was hoping you’d feel that way, because it’s exactly how I feel.”

  Getting any work done for the rest of the day was nearly imp
ossible. All I could think about was Lucas.

  I mentioned an “anonymous donor” sponsoring Delbert’s return to FAMU as a student, and though Miss Claudia was skeptical about his chances, she suggested I run it by the athletic department, to see if they might have tutoring help available for him. She had a soft spot for the man who’d given her so many flowers over the years.

  I contacted our men’s basketball coach, Leonard Casey, who said he was currently in Charlotte, North Carolina, recruiting . He didn’t know Delbert personally, but he pledged his support for the project and said he’d see to it that Delbert got the tutoring help he needed as well as suggesting that he might be able to find an opportunity with the team as a student manager if he was interested.

  I left work that day excited for the chance to help someone turn his entire life around.

  And excited for completely different reasons to get home.

  10

  I drove down my street and saw his pickup truck parked in front of my duplex. His trailer wasn’t around, so I figured he’d parked it somewhere safe.

  As I pulled in, I spotted Lucas leaning against his truck. He held up a single finger as he finished reading a page in the old, beat-up hardcover he was holding. I got out and bounded over to him, waiting patiently before kissing him exuberantly.

  “What’cha reading?” I asked.

  He turned the book to its spine, which read Roughing It.

  “It’s Twain, one I haven’t read. I just got it last week. First edition. About his travels in the Wild West in the 1860s.

  “Do you know what pen name Samuel Clemens used besides Mark Twain?”

  I shook my head.

  “Thomas. Jefferson. Snodgrass.”

  “I’ll file that one away,” I replied.

  “You better. It could be a Final Jeopardy question!”

  “I suppose it could,” I agreed, as we strolled up the path to my door. “But my lead will be unassailable, so it won’t matter!”

  “Ah yes, a ‘runaway’ as Alex calls them. Did I mention that I intend to be a Jeopardy champion one day? That’s part of what fuels my constant quest for new places and things to learn.”

  I unlocked the door and turned to him, placing my finger on his mouth.

  “No more trivia, no more talking. There are much better things we can use our mouths for.”

  He bent down and kissed me.

  “That’s nice, but I had other things in mind.” I grinned my most wicked grin.

  We walked inside and I set my things down on the table inside the door. I locked it and turned to him. “I waited almost thirty years to have sex. You have come along, Mister Lucas Tucker, and unleashed something in me that I hope you can handle, because I can’t, not on my own.”

  He just grinned at me.

  “We never really got to talk about last night,” I said, leading him past the living room and up the stairs to my bedroom. “I was completely blown away. You insist it was your first time, and I have to believe you, no matter how difficult it is. Because you were beyond my wildest dreams and expectations.

  “Now that I’ve had that taste, I want to gorge myself. I have been distracted all day. I can think of nothing but getting home with you and getting naked and doing everything there is to do.”

  We both began to quickly undress. When his boxer briefs came down, it was easy to tell that he was more than ready to indulge me in everything I wanted to try.

  “Sixty-nine,” I said bluntly, shedding the last of my clothing. “I know it’s lewd or whatever, and maybe not ladylike to ask for something like that, but it’s like, this thing with me that I’ve thought about and fantasized about and I’m comfortable enough with you to think that you won’t be completely weirded out by me being up front about what I want.

  “Everything I ever read about ‘healthy relationships’ and ‘fulfilling sex lives’ and such says that communication is key, so I’m-”

  He cut me off by kissing me deeply. As he did, his knuckles did that maddening thing where he dragged them across my nipples. I mewed and tried to wiggle away, but he kissed me harder and I melted against him. I surrendered my body to him. He could have me any way he wanted me.

  “I’ve never given anybody oral before,” Lucas admitted. “Or received it. But every ‘first’ with you so far has been incredible, so, yes. That’s always my answer to you.”

  I kissed him and our bodies pressed together. “This is so awkward, but should we, I don’t know, take a shower together first or something?”

  “I took one this morning,” he said. “So, I think I’m okay, but if you want me to, I will.”

  “I meant more for me, honestly,” I confessed.

  “You’re delicious, Paris,” Lucas replied. “I want you just as you are.”

  He sat back on the bed, his cock rising majestically from between his pelvic lines. I clenched inside as my body recalled the pleasure it gave me, and it was all I could do not to just climb back onto it again.

  “Let me taste you, sweetness,” Lucas beckoned, and I climbed up onto the bed alongside him. I kissed his face and his mouth and then swung myself around so that my legs were astride his handsome face.

  I leaned down so that I was face to… err… dick with him.

  As I contemplated how to go about giving my first blowjob, he began to kiss and lick all around my opening.

  I froze in place, wanting to do nothing to discourage him from continuing.

  “Oh. My. God.” I gasped as he began to give me long licks along the cleft of my sex. I reached out and grasped the base of his dick, hanging on for dear life as his magical tongue bathed my pussy.

  I extended my tongue flicked my tongue all around the end of Lucas’s cock, and he responded by bucking and rolling his hips while he moaned into my soaking wet sex.

  His tongue began to circle my clit, and I lifted up for a moment as the sensations became overwhelming, but he took hold of my hips and pulled me back to his hungry mouth.

  In response, perhaps in an effort to get him to focus elsewhere than my buzzing, sensitive clit, I engulfed his cock with my mouth, taking him as deep as I was able.

  My eyes were bigger than my mouth, as before I knew it, he was at the back of my throat and my hand was wrapped around his shaft with dick left over.

  It felt so dirty, so filthy to have a hard dick in my mouth… but at the same time so natural and perfect, the way it rested at the roof of my mouth and my tongue lapped at it.

  His tongue found my clit and curled itself around it, engulfing what felt like a zillion nerve endings all at once. As a last-ditch effort, I moved my hand from his shaft to his balls, squeezing and pulling on them. His objections were muffled by my wetness smothering his face as I sought my climax.

  He thrust up, trying to fuck my mouth, but I kept it hovering just out of reach. His desperation drove me wild, and I came hard on him, screaming out my pleasure as his tongue attacked the center of my need.

  As I came down, I tenderly licked, sucked, and kissed all over Lucas’s twitching dick as he moaned beneath me. He tried to lick me again, but I was too sensitive, so I writhed away and his kisses landed on my inner thighs, a place I would never have dreamed I loved to be kissed so much.

  Eventually I needed his mouth again and I centered myself right on his plunging tongue. It felt like he was making out with my pussy, which had me rutting and rubbing myself all over his face like I was in heat. I took him as deep as I could in my mouth again and again, until finally he shuddered, tensed, and came.

  As he did, he screamed into me, his tongue reaching deeper than ever, and I joined him in orgasmic bliss. I swallowed everything he offered me, although in truth I didn’t have much choice in the matter, as most of it erupted so forcefully it was gone before I knew it.

  I wearily slid off of him and rolled onto my side, basking in the aftermath. He spun around so we were face to face, and we held each other like that for a good, long while. To my surprise, he didn’t hesitate to kiss the m
outh that had just sucked him off, and for my part, tasting and smelling myself all over his face only made me burn hotter for him.

  We made love again shortly after, and he took me from behind for the first time. I’m pretty sure that’s my favorite position, although there’s something so intense about looking into his eyes while he, or I, or both of us, are climaxing that I lose when he’s pounding his big dick into me from the back.

  Lucas and I aren’t always fucking, but most of the time if we aren’t, I wish we were. And not because I don’t enjoy his company otherwise; we have epic Trivial Pursuit matches and we watch Jeopardy together (competitively) every night.

  Sometimes I even let him win.

  11

  We spent that summer making up for a combined 60+ years of celibacy by having so much sex that Lucas “was afraid his dick might fall off.” That idea didn’t bother me as much as it did him, because I loved his mouth just as much as his thick cock.

  The summer afforded me some downtime, and we took a few trips, Lucas-style. We drove down to Miami in his truck, sleeping in the Airstream, and then slowly up the coast and across the panhandle. We fell in love first with Saint George Island, then Destin, and finally Seaside.

  It was on the beach in Seaside, watching the sunset, that he told me he loved me for the first time.

  We eventually moseyed up to Greenville, where I felt it important that he meet my family, since I had by then fallen deeply, inescapably in love with Lucas.

  He charmed my mother and sister, and that was before I gave them a hint as to how ridiculously wealthy he was. When I let on to Paige that he had lots of money, she told me that if I didn’t marry him that she would, so I better lock him up. She was joking, but I was always worried that a man as handsome as Lucas might decide to set his sights a little higher than little old me.

  I shouldn’t have been.

  It was six weeks after we’d met that I realized I was late.

  A pregnancy test confirmed my suspicion, and since I was in the Airstream when I found out, there was no hiding it or planning a clever way to tell Lucas. I emerged from the bathroom weeping, and he rushed up to embrace me.