Nothing Remotely Familiar (My Crazy Alien Romance Book 5)

by Donna McDonald

  Narelle glanced off and didn’t answer.

  Kevin pointed a talon. “You told her I left her, didn’t you?”

  Topper eased her arms down and put one around her daughter. “Even as one of Gaia’s chosen, Narelle can’t make you give Kevin up until the trial time is over, but I think you need to consider what’s best for Kevin. He’s not really a familiar, honey. This was never going to work out long term. He has a life back in Australia.”

  Kevin turned back and ran a claw over Jessica’s hair. “Don’t worry, Little Miss. We’ve got eighty-some days left of our trial period. We’ll enjoy each one. I swear it.”

  Jessica hugged Kevin tighter and then looked at her mother. “I’m too upset to transport. Please send me to my room.”

  Nonny stepped to the side. “No need for wasting magic. I’ll walk Jessica inside.”

  “Thank you, Nonny,” Topper said quietly.

  Nonny patted her sister’s shoulder. “Zap her and then get off your feet as soon as you can. You just gave birth.” She marched forward. “Move, Narelle. You have no power here.”

  When Narelle and the cat stepped down from the porch steps, Nonny and Jessica hurried up them without stopping.

  Topper waited until her family members were safely inside before turning to glare at the witch she no longer trusted. “Your timing has not improved.”

  Narelle lifted a shoulder. “Guess I would have to agree.”

  Topper grunted in disgust. “If you genuinely want to make amends, the first thing you need to do is fix what you did to Kevin’s mate. She deserves to know Kevin didn’t just up and leave her. And Kevin deserves to be happy, especially after putting up with you for so long.”

  “And if his female won’t listen to me?” Narelle asked.

  “Since when does anyone’s refusal stop you from getting your way?” Topper demanded.

  “Okay,” Narelle said, holding up a hand. “I guess I had that one coming.” She rubbed her forehead. “I didn’t know your babe had come early. I’ll… sweet covens, I’ll be back in a few days. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

  Topper grunted. “I’m sorry you did too. Call before you return.”

  A sigh and hand wave later, Narelle was gone.

  Stark came forward and put a hand on Topper’s shoulder. “Is she going to be a problem for us?”

  “I don’t know,” Topper said honestly. “I’ve never seen her get that close to apologizing before. Narelle’s remorse worries me more than her showing up at our house.”

  Berg started to whimper, and Topper smiled. “Let’s go inside. Our son’s getting hungry.”

  “So am I,” Stark said. “You feed the boy and I’ll see what I can find for us.”

  “Afterwards, maybe you can walk into town with Nonny and retrieve our guest. Goddess only knows what Nia must think about all this.”

  “Nia will be fine,” Stark said, ushering his mate indoors. “I’m sure Resig exposed her to far worse confrontations over the years of her service to him.”

  Topper grunted. “Given the efficient way she handled a laser weapon, I’m sure you’re right.”

  Nia couldn’t stop staring at everyone she saw. “Are these beings witches like Topper and Jessica?”

  “No,” Rime said with a smile. “Most are transformative creatures that call themselves shifters. Occasionally, you will find a normal humanoid among the townspeople, but humans without special abilities are rare in Magic. Those I’ve come across have all been mates of shifters. Thor says magical Earthlings are a minority population on the planet despite their powerful effect on it.”

  “I’ve studied Resig’s Earth records. I find it all fascinating.”

  Rime sighed. “Sadly, non-magical Earthlings consider the shifters to be a threat.”

  “Are they a threat?” Nia asked.

  “Not to a Glacieran, but this is a secret we do not share with our Earthling friends. Well, there is one creature of concern living on the planet. Did Resig’s notes mention dragons?”

  Nia tilted her head. “No, but Jessica mentioned them. Something about dragons being law keepers here.”

  Rime nodded. “Dragons are gigantic, fierce creatures with the power of flight. On Earth, they are the apex predator species, much stronger than any human. Magic’s sheriff and deputy are both dragons. Stark went to great lengths to befriend them. I think it was because they are the only creatures here that he might find challenging to subdue. Star Ranger Frost was here before Stark and now Thor has joined them… well, I’m sure you know that what means.”

  “Three fully trained Glacieran warriors are a mighty force. Earth is very lucky to have them for champions. It alarms me to think that those who would not value human life might invade this amazing planet. Perhaps Stark should train his dragon friends as warriors.”

  “I’m sure that’s crossed his mind. He is as devoted to the wellbeing of Earth as much as Topper is.” Rime smiled.

  “General Stark chose his mate well.”

  “Indeed. Stark’s mate is a remarkable female. Her family created Magic as a place where shifters and other magical creatures can live together in peace. She protects the town from Earthlings who would harm the more unique creatures.”

  Nia nodded as she thought about what that might mean. “I have not seen Topper’s witch powers, but I have seen her intelligence. It is no mystery to me why General Stark found her worthy. I would not want her for an enemy.”

  “I truly believe she was goddess-sent to my brother,” Rime said.

  “Praise Icela,” Nia said with a smile.

  “Yes, praise the Goddess. Come, I want you to meet Alfred. He changes into a fish and swims in water. I helped him win his mate, who’s a cat. Normally, her kind eats his kind, so they don’t both shift at once,” Rime explained. She smiled at Nia. “Your wide eyes make me want to laugh. It delights me to show you this world. I hope you like it here enough to stay.”

  Nia looked around. “It is quite beautiful, but I miss…”

  “The ice of Glacier?” Rime prompted.

  “No. It’s Resig,” Nia answered honestly. “I miss Resig.”

  “Perhaps missing him will pass?” Rime suggested, patting Nia’s arm.

  “Would you miss Thor if you went back to Glacier?”

  Rime released a lengthy sigh. “It would be as if someone turned off the sun.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Two weeks later…

  The sun had yet to rise, but Topper was up walking the baby to put him back to sleep after his early feeding. Berg was draped over her shoulder in a satisfied heap. He ate every few hours and was practically doubling in size every day. She hoped his growth slowed down soon. She was still adjusting to Jessica’s increase in age during their trip. Her daughter had been very quiet since their return. It wasn’t like Jessica not to be verbal. Topper suspected that Jessica had aged internally more than they realized.

  When she felt someone watching her, Topper forced herself to turn to the person with a welcoming smile rather than a snarl. Soon she would need to get some solid rest, but she was reluctant to let anyone else feed her son.

  “Would you like me to walk him? I’ve done a lot of childcare. They required it as part of my studies in school.”

  Topper knew her reluctance was a maternal trust issue rather than a genuine cause for concern. Nia’s help would give her a welcome respite. “Sure. I’d love a break. I told myself I wouldn’t walk this second baby, but I can’t seem to help myself.”

  “I understand,” Nia said, lifting the boy gently from his mother’s shoulder. He made a frowning face, but settled on her once she got him comfortable. “He’s a wonderful babe.”

  Topper went to the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of the nursing tea Nonny had brought. It boosted milk production but also had a stimulating effect on her well-being. “Do you like children, Nia?”

  “Yes. Very much,” Nia said as she rubbed the babe’s back as she paced.

  Topper smiled. “I
imagine you’re still young enough for them by Glacieran standards. How old is too old for women on your planet?”

  “The ideal age for birthing spans four hundred of your Earth years. Many have them as late in life as Priestess Rime. I would prefer being younger.”

  Topper chuckled. “Four hundred years of childbearing. Wow. That’s an incredibly long time.”

  Nia smiled as she walked the compact kitchen with the child. “General Stark may be the oldest father in Glacieran history. Almost no one his age fathers children.”

  Topper laughed. Her laughter died when she felt a portal opening. What now?

  “Wake Stark,” Topper ordered. “Tell him to meet me in town. Someone opened a portal. Please stay with my children.”

  “Consider it done,” Nia said with a head bow.

  “Mom?”

  Topper smiled at her daughter. “Did the magic wake you?”

  Jessica grunted. “Yes. Why can’t strange portals ever open in the middle of the day?” She waved a hand and dressed herself. “I’ll go with you to check it.”

  Kevin’s claws scratched the floor as he loped up behind her. “Guess we’re not having our brekkie until we find out what that magic boom was about.”

  “You’re not going to faint from hunger, are you?” Jessica asked as she reached out a hand and pulled Kevin onto her.

  “No. The good news is that I don’t see the visitor being a colossal problem to anyone but us,” Kevin grumbled.

  Topper snapped both fingers and dressed herself. Putting her hand on Jessica’s shoulder, she transported the three of them away.

  Nia stared in shock at where her host family had stood moments before and shook her head in wonderment that they could simply think themselves to another place and go there. There were many astonishing things about Earth that she suspected most Glacierans would struggle to understand.

  Nia felt a tug of envy when a disheveled Stark appeared in the kitchen doorway looking concerned. “Good morning, General. Your mate and daughter went to investigate a portal opening in town. I’m watching your son while they’re gone.”

  “Thank you, Nia. I should probably go see who it is as well. Topper’s tired. She’ll turn whoever it is into a toad if they say the wrong thing.”

  Nia watched the Glacieran leave at a more leisurely pace. When the residence door closed on his exit, she moved the now sleeping baby down into her arms as she wondered what kind of creature a toad was. She would have to look it up.

  Resig blinked at Goddess Icela’s consort. “Are you sure that was a good idea? Perhaps we should have sent Stark some warning about our plans.”

  The warrior chuckled as he shook his head. “I’ve had much time to study Stark’s Earth Witch mate. That creature will pose only a minor problem for them, but you should be on your way as well. You need to be there to stop it once they realize their magic wears off it quickly.”

  “Perhaps that would be best.” Resig sighed as he studied the portal. He turned to his mentor. “There’s no chance I will wind up in the wrong place, is there?”

  The warrior lifted a shoulder. “I have no idea how these portals work. I’m ethereal. The Goddess says the portals are as safe as any starship.”

  “I see. Well, if our goddess is sure, how can I not be?” Resig thought of Nia. What if the creature harmed her before he got there? He’d never forgive himself. “Okay. Thank you, Consort, for your counseling and for watching my command.”

  “My pleasure. I haven’t led a group of warriors in several millennia,” the Consort replied with a wide smile. “Ask Stark to make a portal for you to return. Try not to hurt the gift.”

  “I will do my best,” Resig promised. He bowed to the man. “Please express my gratitude to the goddess as well.”

  When Icela’s consort only laughed at his words, Resig wasn’t sure what to think. He’d faced entire legions of warriors with all their weapons pointed at him and felt nothing. He refused to show fear today about intergalactic travel through a mystical means he might never understand.

  Lifting his chin, Resig readied his laser weapon and then walked into the portal without looking back.

  Nia called out in alarm when the infant she rocked suddenly doubled in size without even waking up. The babe slept on, but he desperately needed both a new diaper and some fresh clothes. His body had instantly shredded his previous clothing as he grew.

  Goddess, she’d never so closely witnessed a Glacieran child aging before. No wonder parents freaked out. The child raised its head, and a mirror of Stark’s blue eyes glared at her.

  Nia chuckled. “Don’t blame me if you’re cold now. You’re the one who outgrew his clothing.”

  “Mama?”

  Nia snorted. “She went to town.”

  “Dada?”

  “He went to help your mama.”

  “Icka?”

  Nia’s forehead drew into lines as she thought. “Icka?” Then she laughed. “Do you mean Jessica?”

  Her eyes widened as his head bobbed up and down. “She went too.”

  The babble of baby speech that followed was too hard for her to pay serious attention to understanding. Instead, she rose and carried the now naked babe to Jessica’s room. His old clothing fell to the floor in pieces as she walked. She’d have to retrieve the scraps later.

  “Your parents were not prepared for you to grow so fast, little warrior. Luckily, your sister shrank some clothes for Kevin or you might have to just stay nude.”

  “Ood?”

  “Nude—In Earth English, it’s means wearing no clothes,” Nia explained, even if the babe couldn’t understand.

  The babe made a strange sound repeatedly. It took her a minute, but she realized the boy was laughing. Apparently, both General Stark’s children were determined to be exceptions on two planets.

  “Are you amused to be naked?” Nia asked.

  The question must have embarrassed him because he laid his head on her shoulder and hid his face.

  She smiled as she gathered Kevin’s Glacier clothes from Jessica’s dresser and headed back to the nursery to put them on him. She couldn’t stay in Jessica’s room because the smell of Kevin’s tree gave her a headache.

  A giant thud accompanied by male swearing interrupted her plans, but she managed to fashion one larger diaper from two of the smaller ones.

  “Uh-oh,” Berg said with wide eyes, then launched into rapid baby speech again.

  “Yes. We’d better go see who that is. Be quiet, though. Your father has many enemies,” Nia whispered. She had to fight not to laugh when Stark’s son tucked his baby chin and growled softly as she picked him up.

  Nia tiptoed back to the kitchen where she found Resig bending over counters and staring at everything the room contained.

  “Their food preparation area does not look that different from ours,” she retorted, causing him to yell in alarm as he swung to face her.

  “Nia,” he said, clasping his chest. “I nearly pulled my weapon on you.”

  “What are you doing here, Resig?”

  “I’m…” he stopped and looked around. “The Goddess sent me here. I’m looking for a kreela that went through the portal before I did.”

  “Oh. I see,” Nia said, saddened by his answer.

  Why would she think he came for her? She should know by now that only duty would motivate Resig to travel so far from home.

  “This is the General’s residence. I believe the first portal opened in town. Stark and Topper both went to investigate the town opening. I stayed behind to watch the babe.”

  Resig nodded. Then he pointed at the child in her arms. “Looks like you’re watching this young one as well.”

  Nia rolled her eyes before answering. “This is the same child, Resig. He doubled in size just before you got here. Even his parents don’t know yet.”

  “Stark told me he grew to adulthood in two years. I understand Jessica has taken a bit longer.”

  “That is my understanding as well,” Nia said, w
ondering why Resig even cared.

  “No dada,” the boy pronounced, pointing a baby finger at him.

  “No, I’m not your dada,” Resig agreed, grinning as he bowed his head to the glaring child.

  “Pftttt…” Berg replied, sticking out his tongue. Then he laid his head on Nia’s shoulder again.

  “Can you point me toward town so that I can complete my task?” Resig asked.

  Nia blinked and thought. “Perhaps it would be best if we went with you. The family hasn’t even had a meal yet. Earth is chaos, Resig. I don’t know how they live this way. Let me get the babe into some clothes before we leave.”

  Fighting not to look guilty or feel too happy Nia was complaining, Resig nodded and watched the reason for his current chaos disappear.

  Chapter Sixteen

  A white furry creature with multiple tufts of blue hair on its head roared and showed all its long, pointy teeth as it stepped on Mrs. Downey’s fence and squashed it. Seeming unsure about what it had done, the creature lifted his—or her—giant white paw to look at the destruction beneath it.

  Pleased with itself, the creature made a rumbling sound. Mrs. Downey’s mailbox was the next thing that got flattened. It hadn’t turned its attention to the townspeople yet but had definitely decided to test its ability to crush and destroy everything else in sight.

  Mrs. Downey’s concrete fountain in the yard turned to dust at the first smash of a giant white fist on it.

  Kevin sighed as he took in the sight. “Many creatures look enormous when you’re koala-sized, but that creature looks like an abominable snowman crossed with a show dog. It’s not from Earth, is it?”

  Jessica shook her head. “I don’t think so. I wish we’d brought Dad. He was an animal expert on his planet before he came to Earth and met Mom.”

  Kevin pointed ahead. “Where’s your mother going?”

  “Probably to shrink it,” Jessica said, as she followed in the direction her witch mother walked. “You can wait here, Kevin. I need to be close in case Mom needs me to help chant.”