by Pat Pattison
You can't play Ping-Pong with my heart
x
You dominate the table
b
…
x
Your slams have put me in an awful sweat
x
…
x
I'm feeling most unstable
b
Compare your result to the original and you will see what an important role structure can play in support of meaning. If you're careful how you build your form, you can make it work for you. Tend to the prosody of form and function, and your structure will become a powerful and expressive ally rather than an obstacle standing between you and what you really meant to say.
THE PRINCIPLE OF CONTRAST
Herbie and Artie know the difference between their microbus and the cream-and-baby-blue Maserati. No big mystery — they're built different. This is another way to look at “form follows function.” Simple logic: Things that look the same should do the same thing. Things that look diff erent should do diff erent things. A microbus is not a Maserati.
Verses in a song should all have the same function — they develop the plot, characters, or situations of the song. That's why they're all called verses. Because the verses all have the same function, they should all have the same form. Easy, huh?
Or this: When you move from a verse to another function — for example, to a chorus function (commentary, summary) — the form should change: the rhyme scheme, phrase lengths, number of phrases, or rhythms of phrases. Maybe all four.
“Form follows function” is the real rationale behind what often look like silly rules:
All verses should have the same rhyme scheme!
Change the rhyme scheme when you get to the chorus.
Look at this verse and its chorus:
Southern Comfort
Verse 1
Spanish moss hanging low
Swaying from the trees
Honeysuckle, sweet magnolia
Riding on the breeze
Southern evenings, Southern stars
Used to bring me peace
But now they only make me cry
They only make me realize
Chorus
There's no Southern Comfort
Unless you're in my arms
You're the only cure
For this aching in my heart
I've searched everywhere
Tried the bedrooms, tried the bars
But there's no Southern Comfort
Unless you're in my arms
Each section contains, roughly, the same number of phrases. No contrast there.
The verse rhymes its alternate lines, except at the end, where it accelerates with a couplet. The chorus rhymes every other line, too, without the couplet acceleration at the end:
Still not much contrast between the sections. The verse contains two complete sections of common meter rhythm. The only variation is the extra stressed syllable in the last line:
Stresses
Spánish móss hánging lów
4
Swáying fróm the treés
3
Hóneysúckle, sweét magnólia
4
Ríding ón the breéze
3
Soúthern évenings, soúthern stárs
4
úsed to bríng me peáce
3
But nów they ónly máke me cry
4
They ónly máke me réalizé
4
That's a lot of common meter, but there's more. Look at the chorus:
Stresses
There's nó Sóuthern Cómfort
3+
Unléss you're ín my árms
3
Yoú're the ónly cúre
3
For this áching ín my heárt
3
I've seárched éverywhére
3
Triéd the bédrooms, triéd the bárs
4
But there's nó Sóuthern Cómfort
3+
Unléss you're ín my árms
3
Although most of the phrases have three stresses, the section still leans toward common meter:
The balancing phrases are three stresses, the signature length of common meter.
The opening phrase is longer than three stresses, three plus — a normal variation of common meter's four-stress line. When you want two sections to contrast, the opening phrase of the new section must make a difference immediately. If you don't make a difference there, don't bother.
The two three-stress phrases with extra weak syllables are in the same positions as four-stress phrases in common meter, leaving only two contrasting phrases in the entire chorus. And they're the same length as half the lines in the verse.
Essentially, by the time we finish the chorus, we have been through four common meter systems. That's a lot. Imagine the boredom by the time you finish four more:
Verse 2
I've tried my best to ease the hurt
Leave the pain behind
But evenings sitting on the porch
You're always on my mind
Southern Comfort after dark
Helps me face the night
But there's nothing to look forward to
'Cept looking back to loving you
Chorus
There's no Southern Comfort
Unless you're in my arms
You're the only cure
For this aching in my heart
I've searched everywhere
Tried the bedrooms, tried the bars
But there's no Southern Comfort
Unless you're in my arms
Ho-hum structure. If the lyric's meaning were more interesting, there might be some hope, but it's not that interesting. Even if the meaning shone in eleven shades of microbus DayGlo, the structure still should help the meaning, not hurt it.
The bridge finally delivers a contrast:
Bar to bar
Face to face
Someone new takes your place
No one's ever new
I always turn them into you
But by the time we get to the bridge, it's too late; everyone has wandered off for a hot dog. Then there are two more lumps of common meter for the tombstone:
Chorus
There's no Southern Comfort
Unless you're in my arms
You're the only cure
For this aching in my heart
I've searched everywhere
Tried the bedrooms, tried the bars
But there's no Southern Comfort
Unless you're in my arms
EXERCISE 45
with the chorus. You might look at Jim Rushing's “Slow Healing Heart” or Janis Ian's “Some People's Lives” for how to handle eight-line structures. Alternately, you might try unbalancing the structure by shortening it. Try it before you read further.
The rewrite below balances six lines against two, rather than dividing the verse into two four-line sections of common meter:
Rhyme
Stresses
Spánish móss hánging lów
x
4
Bówing fróm the trees
a
3
Hóneysúckle ríding ón the breéze
a
5
Sóuthern évenings, sóuthern stars
x
4
Swéet magnólia níghts
x
3
Uséd to bring me hármony and péace
a
5
Látely théy just máke me cry
b
4
They ónly máke me réalize
b
4
Chorus
There's no Southern comfort
Unless you're in my arms
You're the only cure
For this aching in my heart
I've searched everywhere
Tried the bedrooms, trie
d the bars
But there's no Southern comfort
Unless you're in my arms
Now the verse and chorus look different. Even Artie would notice. Though this lyric could still use major rewriting, at least its structure isn't stuck in the mud.
Prosody and Contrast
Of course, contrast between sections can also add prosody:
Verse
If I went into analysis
a
And took myself apart
b
And laid me out for both of us to see
c
You'd go into paralysis
a
Right there in my arms
b
Finding out you're not a bit like me
c
Chorus
Ready or not
d
We've got what we've got
d
Let's give it a shot
d
Ready or not
d
The chorus really zips along by changing to short phrases and consecutive rhymes. The speed is really a result of contrast; it seems so fast only because the verse has been so leisurely. Paul Simon's “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and Beth Nielsen Chapman's “Years” both work on this same principle. Here's the first verse and chorus from “Years”:
Stresses (with musical setting)
I went home for Christmas to the house that I grew up in
6
Going back was something after all these years
5
I drove down Monterey Street and I felt a little sadness
6
When I turned left on Laurel and the house appeared
5
And I snuck up to that rocking chair where the winter sunlight slanted on the screened-in porch
9
And I looked out past the shade tree that my laughing daddy planted on the day that I was born
9
Chorus
And I let time go by so slow
3
And I make every moment last
3
And I thought about years
2
How they take so long
2
And they go so fast
2
The verse lines are lingering and relaxed, just like the daughter. The chorus shows how fast years go by, accelerating the pace with shorter phrases. Not only is there contrast, but the contrast supports the meaning. Even within the chorus, the longer phrases slow time down, while shorter phrases step on the accelerator.
Chapman sets the first two lines into four bars of music. The last three also fit into four bars, but the last line, and they go so fast, is only one bar, supporting the lyric prosody perfectly. Nice stuff.
Become a designer; fit form to function. When you run with the LA fast-track set, step out with the Maserati. But when you want to join Artie and Herbie for the next Grateful Dead concert, go in style in the DayGlo microbus. Stop to consider what you need, and then build it. Have an effective, interesting structure ready for any occasion.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
THE GREAT BALANCING ACT
COURTING DANGER ON THE HIGH WIRE
Imagine a high-wire artist at the circus. There she is, arms extended, stepping ever so carefully along the thin wire. Step. Wobble …(Gasps from the crowd!) Steadies herself. (Audible relief.) Step. Ooops. Step … No doubt she could move smoothly and quickly across, but she is making (or barely making) her aerial journey for our pleasure and excitement.
She plays with our emotions, knowing we will remember her trip long after the lights and noise fade to nothing.
Writing lyrics is a high-wire act: The way you keep or lose your balance makes all the difference to your audience. Sometimes a little aerial drama may be just what you need to get and keep your listeners' undivided attention.
Here's a very simple balancing (or unbalancing) technique: Control the number of phrases in your sections, and you can learn to keep or lose your balance in just the right places.
In general, assuming that phrase lengths are more or less equal, and the rhyme scheme moves more or less evenly, an even number of phrases creates a balanced section; an odd number, an unbalanced section.
The simplest case is repetition. An even number of phrases creates a stable section:
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland
While an odd number creates an unstable section:
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland
Not a hard concept, but a very useful one. You can get the same effect without repetition, like this three-phrase section:
How am I to reach you
When am I to touch you
How am I to hold you
Common meter pairs off its longer second and fourth phrases and its shorter first and third:
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go
In this example, the two short phrases of the third line add up to equal the first phrase, giving us another balanced piece of common meter:
Yes I'm the Great Pretender
Pretending that I'm doing well
My need is such, I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
But if we trim it to three phrases, it unbalances:
Oh yes I'm the Great Pretender
Pretending that I'm doing well
I'm lonely but no one can tell
How do we use balancing and unbalancing? Stated simply, unbalanced sections make you want to move to find a stable spot. Balanced sections stop motion; they pause for a rest. Balancing and unbalancing a lyric in the right places gives you at least four audience-grabbing strategies:(1) spotlighting important ideas; (2) pushing one section forward into another section; (3) contrasting one section with another one; and (4) setting up a need for a balancing section or phrase.
Watch the high-wire work of Janis Ian and Kye Fleming in this lovely lyric, “Some People's Lives”:
Rhyme
Verse 1
Some people's lives
a
Run down like clocks
b
One day they stop
b
That's all they've got
b
Verse 2
Some lives wear out
a
Like old tennis shoes
b
No one can use
b
It's sad but it's true
b
Chorus 1
Didn't anybody tell them
x
Didn't anybody see
a
Didn't anybody love them
x
Like you love me?
a
Verse 3
Some people's eyes
a
Fade like their dreams
b
Too tired to rise
a
Too tired to sleep
b
Verse 4
Some people laugh
a
When they need to cry
b
And they never know why
b
Chorus 2
Doesn't anybody tell them
x
Doesn't anybody see
a
Doesn't anybody love them
x
Like you love me?
a
Bridge
Some people ask,
a
If tears have to fall
b
Then why take your chances?
a
Why bother at all?
b
Verse 5
And some people's lives
a
Are as cold as their lips
b
They just need to be kissed
b
Chorus 3
Didn't anybody tell them
x
Didn't anybody see
a
Didn't anybody love them
x
Like you love me?
a
'Cause that's all they need
a
1. SPOTLIGHTING IMPORTANT DETAILS
This is the easiest and most practical use of balancing. When a section has an even number of phrases, the sections stops for a rest along the high wire. The pause allows the spotlight to shine on the last phrase. The first verse of “Some People's Lives” uses the position well:
Some people's lives
a
Run down like clocks
b
One day they stop