Finding Sky

by Cass Sellars

  Chapter Eleven

  Skylar pulled into the deserted parking lot and hurried into the building just as dawn was breaking. She dropped her briefcase inside her door and glanced up through the window, knowing Jess’s office would be dark.

  She sat at her desk, trying to concentrate on work. She had so many things to go over, to talk about with Jess, her boss, but all she could think of was how they’d spent hours kissing the afternoon before. Jess made her melt and she wanted to be folded into her arms again. She shook her head, hoping to clear her mind, but failed.

  Skylar relished the fact that they had spent hours talking and laughing like they had before. She relished each kiss that punctuated their conversation and she buried the feeling of dread that came with getting involved with a woman who held all the cards. This was crazy and possibly heartbreaking and, somehow worse, potentially career-ending. She’d been there before, and she refused to go back.

  She saw a light flood Jess’s office and wondered what she should do. She smoothed a hand through her unruly hair, brushed imaginary lint from her skirt, and chose to continue working diligently. She forced herself to concentrate rather than climb the stairs to find her.

  A few moments later, she heard soft steps across the carpet.

  “Coffee?” Jess held out a caramel latte in a green and white paper cup with Skylar’s name on it.

  Skylar was startled despite knowing Jess was nearby. She jumped from her chair and out of her thoughts. “Dear God, Jess.”

  “I told you, just Jess is fine.” The laugh was contagious, and Skylar joined in. We’re okay, she thought. We can be okay.

  “Do you have time to meet with me this morning? I have some items I want to go over.” Skylar channeled her professional persona as if trying on ways of interacting with Jess, like she would a new jacket, or in this case an old one that had fit fine before but now seemed too small.

  “Sure. Do you want to do it now?” Jess tilted her cup to her lips and Skylar was grateful she couldn’t focus on Jess’s mouth anymore.

  “I’ll be up in a minute, okay?” Skylar shuffled a few folders and a notebook into a stack and reached for the coffee she couldn’t really taste.

  “See you then.”

  Skylar watched her walk away and forced herself to practice pretending that things were normal, that she hadn’t wanted to devour her at that moment.

  When Skylar looked up again, she could see Jess already at her desk. She walked toward the stairs, her arms full of work, and watched Jess close the blinds, no longer looking at her. This is going to be weird, oh shit, I can’t do weird. I can’t handle weird.

  She opened the office door tentatively and placed the files on the table just inside the door, afraid to look over at Jess’s desk.

  Jess found her instead and pinned her against the closed door. “Did you change your mind about what happened between us?” She skimmed her fingers along Skylar’s jaw and locked her in an intense stare.

  Skylar didn’t move away. “No, did you?” She breathed the words into Jess. Skylar was sure Jess could feel them almost as much as she could hear them.

  “Not even close.” Jess waited a few seconds before tentatively pressing her lips over Skylar’s.

  Skylar shocked herself and, she imagined, Jess when she drove against her mouth and held her body strongly against hers.

  “I thought about you all night.” Jess skimmed her mouth along Skylar’s ear as she spoke.

  “I did, too. I thought about what it would have been like to fall asleep with you.”

  “Thank goodness. I was worried you would regret this.”

  “We need to talk about a lot of things.”

  Skylar heard Jess begin to reply when Yolanda sang out her arrival in the hallway.

  “Morning, Jess. Bagels in the break room.”

  “Thanks, Yo,” Jess called out.

  Skylar caressed the lapels of Jess’s jacket before pushing herself out of Jess’s arms.

  “Work. We have work.” Skylar felt the separation deeply.

  “Okay. Dazzle me.” She winked and dropped Skylar’s folders on the floor where she promptly sat beside them.

  Skylar held a file out for Jess. “I have to warn you this isn’t good news.”

  Jess smiled broadly. “I don’t care.”

  “Yes, you do.” Skylar smirked, relishing the aura of Jess’s good mood.

  “Are you delivering the unwelcome news?”

  “Clearly, yes.” Skylar smiled despite the real effort to adopt a no-nonsense expression.

  “Then it’s already better and I don’t care.”

  Skylar flung a pencil and Jess caught it easily. “Pay attention.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “I’ve been studying some of the line items on the accounts payable spreadsheets, and I’m not comfortable with the amounts of money that are being outlaid.”

  “I don’t expect to turn a huge profit because of what we do with most of these properties, but my father was okay with that and I am, too.”

  “I know we don’t expect typical commercial-level profits all the time, Jess, but I’m digging into some of the invoicing and dollar allocation, and I wanted you to know that some things aren’t adding up.”

  “I’m sure we can break it down so you feel more comfortable with it and perhaps reallocate the way we do the bookkeeping for projects.”

  “I think that’s a start,” Skylar agreed. “We need to be able to say to the penny how much we spent on X project, and when we get to the budget for Navigation House we can break it down to the last dollar that we spent and how much it cost us to operate to get to that place.”

  “I’m not sure we’re ever going to be as buttoned up as you want us to be, Skylar. That’s inevitably my fault, but I try not to burden everybody with complex accounting. Brett will be here in an hour. Let’s see what he recognizes. He might be able to answer a lot of questions for us. He can be tough, but he loved my father, and by extension, loves IA.”

  Skylar was momentarily exasperated and then irrationally happy that she could look at Jess as just her boss for the moment.

  “I gave him the spreadsheet and he seemed to think it was just bad entries and poor tracking. But I don’t think this is about accounting methodology.” Skylar knew Jess was taking her seriously, but she wanted to be sure she understood the dire potential of not fixing the problem.

  “Well, what then? I don’t think anyone’s stealing from me.” Jess’s voice hinted at defensiveness.

  “And I’m not saying they are either, but you know as well as I do there isn’t any CEO that thinks that, until it all blows up and somebody with a warrant is confiscating all the office computers.” Skylar shifted on the floor, and Jess seemed to stop listening as she watched her.

  Skylar’s firm hand on her wrist seemed to force her attention back to Skylar’s words.

  “Fair enough. Do you have anything concrete?”

  “No, I ordered the records from the accounting firm, but Edmonds General Contractors are in an audit and an SEC investigation, so the entire staff and McDevitt Accounting is scrambling for docs. We won’t see ours for a while.”

  “Well, the good news is that isn’t us.”

  Skylar shook her head. “The bad news is that it could be if we stop paying attention.”

  “I don’t think I have anything to worry about.” Jess gave her a sultry smile and Skylar pointed a warning finger at her.

  “Don’t look at me like I’m cheesecake.” Skylar laughed as she restacked the documents.

  Jess watched her scramble to stand, momentarily grateful for the increased distance that let her get control of herself again. “What flavor?”

  “Caramel, dark chocolate with raspberry sauce,” she answered quickly and sent her a knowing smile.

  The door closed before Jess had managed to stand and she found herself laughing out loud while sitting very completely alone. She scrambled to her feet and caught Skylar looking up at her from the bul
lpen before she forced herself to turn back to her computer.

  A new email dropped into her inbox, and she opened the message from Dan Baker.

  Jess read the email and clicked to open the attachment. A copy of an apartment application contained only one previous address. Jess didn’t recognize the street and tapped to open a map in Chrome.

  She scanned the reverse lookup and felt sick. The information was significant and explained everything. The accompanying article shocked and upset her. She glanced through the window and felt the punch in her gut. An irrational anger fired inside her. She felt that the answers should have been so obvious, and now she understood why Skylar had been so circumspect. Jess felt the future she had just begun to imagine tilt slightly on its axis.

  * * *

  Skylar opened her lobby door and felt the warm electricity that Jess’s powerful presence brought with her.

  “Hi. Is it okay that I stopped by on my way home?” Jess asked.

  Skylar worried that the feeling of longing for Jess might eclipse her common sense, but she didn’t want to let on, so she acted like everything was normal. “I’m glad you did.” Skylar led the way up four flights of stairs.

  “Um, I may not have been paying much attention yesterday, but I thought you lived on the second floor.” Jess glanced behind her and down the stairs.

  “I do, but I was going to show you the lowbrow Oakland version of the Ivan balcony.” She flashed a playful grin at Jess.

  “I’m intrigued already.”

  Skylar pushed the rusty metal door and heard it scrape away from the once painted frame. She pulled a brick from the edge of the gravel surface and carefully propped the door open. She saw Jess look over at the process and explained, “The sleeping accommodations on this balcony aren’t nearly as comfortable as yours, so I don’t want to test the theory that this door won’t lock us up here.”

  “Duly noted. Does that mean you’ll be visiting again?” Jess raised one eyebrow flirtatiously.

  Skylar felt the flush of Jess’s words and rushed to look unaffected. “I hope so.” She stopped herself from reaching out; it was still too new, and she was still too unsure. She turned Jess to see the necklace of lights wrapping the circumference of the lake.

  “Very nice.” She felt Jess’s arm smooth over her back before she turned to look at her instead of the lake.

  “How did today go for you?” Jess was clearly concerned and seemed to watch every nuance of Skylar’s expression in the distant amber light.

  “Weird. You?”

  “Frustrating.” Jess placed Skylar’s palm against her cheek and closed her eyes.

  “A little for me, too. I wanted to come into your office a thousand times after I left.” Skylar exhaled and gave up the pretense of acting like she wasn’t affected.

  “I wish you had.” Jess kissed her, and Skylar thought she would break from the gentle intensity of it. She leaned against her and suddenly wished she could spend a week in that very place.

  She forced her mind back. Skylar had tried to drown the day’s frustrations with real work and had felt a buzz in the office. “What’s happening tomorrow?”

  Jess replied distractedly. “Just some inspections and planning work on Navigation House. We’ll probably do layouts tomorrow and calculate revenue with our state funding.”

  “I thought I would be there for that.” She tried not to sound hurt.

  Jess skimmed a hand over Skylar’s arm. “I know. I just don’t want…”

  “Me to freak out again? I told you I was fine.” Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach twisted. “I humiliated myself.”

  “No, you didn’t. Don’t think like that.” Jess pulled Skylar back to her.

  Skylar felt the electricity of this fascinating person. She wanted nothing more than Jess, who seemed to want nothing more than her. The need was mesmerizing. But she knew there was something. Jess swore it wasn’t the episode in the building, but it was something.

  “Let’s talk about work tomorrow, okay?” Jess seemed intent on distracting her by sliding her lips past Skylar’s ear.

  “Sure.” Mission accomplished.

  Skylar still fought the feeling that they hadn’t yet conquered their most complicated obstacles. Ones that could destroy everything she had worked so hard to achieve. Jess was infuriatingly intent on acting like everything was normal. Appearances were incredibly deceiving, and Skylar knew it.

  The kiss good night was excruciatingly long and painfully too brief. Skylar watched the car drive away until the taillights burned only in her memory. She tucked herself against the headboard and tried to read. After scanning only a few pages, she gave in to the pleasant thoughts of Jess and the intense response she had to her. Her body and mind vibrated with the intensity of Jess, but somehow Skylar knew she could get too comfortable, and that could be very dangerous.

  Chapter Twelve

  Skylar was already punishing the keys on the laptop at six a.m. The random, unlinked invoices were getting larger, and she hadn’t been able to connect them to project numbers. Skylar loved a puzzle but hated not seeing what she knew was so close. Something wasn’t right, and she had to figure out what it was.

  She heard the door close and waited for the pulse race she knew was coming.

  Jess didn’t go up to her office first. Skylar watched as she walked to where she sat and pulled her from her chair.

  The crippling kiss was open and desperate and everything she had wanted her heart to feel after many years of not feeling much of anything. Her mouth answered because her mind would let her react no other way.

  “People might see us,” Skylar whispered.

  “It’s six a.m.,” Jess whispered back. “We’re the only crazy people here.”

  “Right. In case I ever forget to mention it, I think kissing you is the most unbelievable experience anyone could have.”

  “I think you’re so beautiful. I had a dream that we were together for hours and I just got to hold you all night.” Jess spoke the words softly in her ear, making Skylar groan.

  “I think I can’t imagine how amazing that would feel. God, Jess. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time.”

  “You’re coming up for coffee and croissants in a few minutes and we’re going to work and I’m going to pretend I have willpower.”

  “Sounds like a very well-developed plan, boss.”

  “Are you making fun of me?” Jess feigned hurt.

  “Only because I can’t do anything I want to do.”

  “Like what?” Jess’s fingertips played up her arms and across her cheeks.

  Skylar surprised herself when unintended revelations poured out like lava from a newly awakened volcano. “Like wake up with you on a lounge chair on your balcony. Cook breakfast naked with you in your kitchen. Maybe watch the sea lions at the pier together and drink hot chocolate on the ferry on the foggiest day. And most of all feel you touch me, all of me. I want to touch all of you. I want that more than anything.”

  Jess tilted her head back against the wall. “Damn, you are killing me, Sky. I’m going to be useless for the rest of the day.”

  Skylar ached to feel Jess’s touch, just an inappropriate fantasy until that moment. “Get out of here. We need to work.” She reluctantly pushed Jess toward the door, still a little terrified that someone might see them and she would become the office tart. That’s when she felt Jess’s lips and then her teeth on her neck.

  “Don’t put your hair up anymore. I have vampire tendencies, you know.”

  “I think you’ll have to show me one day soon.” Skylar shook her head at her own forwardness and relished the easy trust they’d developed. Maybe she had imagined the bit of tension. Hell, she could read anything into the situation, it was everything she had fought against and nothing she wanted to live without.

  * * *

  The office population had swelled to near capacity when Jess saw Skylar lug her files up the stairs. She slipped quietly inside Jess’s office. Jess cont
inued to attempt to smooth a wobbly negotiation over the phone. She tried not to allow herself to be distracted by Skylar, who was clearly listening intently.

  “Because we aren’t reselling it for a profit, Jim. We’ll rent out the commercial space and try to leverage their existing labor pool…I understand your way of doing business, I’m just not sure we can mesh it with ours…I’m sorry you feel that way…We need to make a profit, too, but not at the expense of our mission, Jim…” She held the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes. “The legacy of Billy’s business is too important to me.”

  Skylar unpacked her files and sat in the middle of the floor while Jess stared at her, a pleasant distraction from the droning of a man she would never see eye to eye with. She could watch Skylar for hours. She leaned into her high-backed chair and spun a Montblanc pen in her fingers. Her legs stretched out in front of her as she spoke.

  Skylar’s delicate fingers arranged files and collated pages. Jess desperately wished for the moment that she could abandon the office and spend the day with just her.

  “You too, Jim. Give me a call if you change your mind.”

  She hung up the phone and tapped her head on her desk. “It truly amazes people that our company’s ethics aren’t bendable according to returns. Brett and I have the same argument. All he wants is a bump in the company bottom line so we can double our profit in the process. The difference is he was devoted to Billy and to the company. These guys just want a glowing bottom line.”

  Skylar managed a lotus position on the carpet. “What’s the saying? ‘Principles are only principles if you employ them when it’s inconvenient.’ Sounds like no one’s willing.”

  “Tell me about it. Incredibly frustrating.” She slid off her chair and knelt in front of Skylar. “In fact, it’s almost as frustrating as not being able to peel your clothes off with my teeth.” She spoke seductively into Skylar’s hair. “To stroke your whole body, right before I make you beg for mercy.” She pushed her back toward the floor.