Heat

by Gwendolyn Grace

  Then everything changed.

  It was just before Christmas and I’d been gone from home for a little over six months. We’d been staying with Jimmy’s friends, Gino and Theresa in Brooklyn for a couple of weeks and I was over it. I hated New York. To a country girl used to wide-open space, the unfamiliar city felt crammed full of people and smelled like piss. Gino had a delivery business I was sure served as a front for something else. He was paying Jimmy under the table, and very well.

  It was early afternoon and I had just woken up because sleeping was all I wanted to do those days. I opened the tiny back bedroom door we'd been using and as soon as I stepped into the hall, a horrible stench filled my nostrils and turned my stomach. Once I reached the kitchen, Theresa was boiling some sort of meat still on the bone in a stew pot and the aroma was horrid. Unable to stand it a minute longer I ran to the bathroom and hurled. I sat there with my face on the cold tiles as I waited for the wave of nausea to pass. Gino and Theresa’s baby begin to wail and that’s when it hit me that I could be pregnant. A test a few hours later confirmed it.

  Jimmy wasn’t happy at all about the news. He accused me of getting pregnant on purpose and I was at a loss for words. I was eighteen years old. Getting pregnant was the last thing on my mind. The accusatory look he gave me that night hurt more than anything. It was the first time during our wild adventure that I missed my Mama.

  I didn’t have to wait long to see her because two days later I was standing on the curb in front of my childhood home as Jimmy screeched off in his car. I stood there in disbelief like it was all a big joke and he would turn around, pull me into his arms and tell me it would all be okay. Except he never came back. So I stood there, eighteen, knocked up and alone in front of Mama’s house as the colorful holiday lights twinkled around me.

  “Merry Christmas, asshole.” I screamed after Jimmy as the exhaust smoke faded away in the distance.

  “Annetta Lynn, what kinda trouble have you gotten into this time, girl?” My mother glared at me with a look I’d never seen before. It was not the usual anger or even disappointment I had grown accustomed to. It was sadness and that hurt much worse. This wasn’t something she could punish me for by taking away my phone privileges. I was having a baby. A whole human being was growing inside me. As I let the realization sink in, I felt a pair of soft arms around my shoulders, followed by the faint scent of roses. It was the first time I remember her hugging me in at least two years and it was just what I needed.

  Despite all that, I still took Jimmy back and eventually wound up pregnant with my second child. His reaction was even worse than the first time and dared to imply the baby wasn't his. What was that saying, “Fool me once...” Yes, I was a total fool many times over except I couldn't figure out how to make the cycle stop.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Annette?” Hal called out groggily, cutting through my trip down memory lane. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said, stepping forward, “Thanks for everything today. You have no idea how much it means to us.” I lowered myself onto the blanket beside him.

  “You don't have to thank me. I'm happy to see it all worked out.” He sat up rubbing his eyes.

  “Me, too.” I smiled and rested my head on my hand and looked up at him. The familiar scent that was all him lingered on the material and I couldn't help taking deep breaths, enjoying the moment. Why couldn't I allow myself to fall for a man like him? Wasn’t I allowed to have “good”, or better yet “good for me” in my life?

  I only had to accept that it was up to me to choose, to give myself a chance. All I had to do was try.

  “If you want, I can have a look at that death trap you’re driving…”

  Earlier H had made no secret his concerns over my car. I didn’t think it was as bad as he was carrying on. It had been reliable enough to get me where I needed to go but I loved that he was worried about me all the same. The warm feeling in the pit of my stomach spread over my body and my insides went to mush. I had never felt anything that intense before. The raw need to touch and be touched.

  My nipples tightened at the thought of his hands on my skin and before I lost my nerve, I sat up and moved closer to him. He was still talking but I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest, and his eyes went wide as soon as I crossed that invisible barrier of personal space.

  “Annette?”

  “Annie. I liked to be called Annie.” I said before I planted my lips on his. At first, he went still and threw both hands in the air as if he wasn't sure what to do with them. Then slowly he relaxed and was kissing me back. I parted my mouth as his tongue slipped inside.

  The kiss was delicious, no stale cigarettes or trace of liquor on his tongue. I could taste him all day. The same scent I'd grown to crave filled my nose as I inhaled him. Did I say he didn't know what to do with his hands? Well, that was a lie. He slid his palms under the hem of my shirt and let his fingertips lightly caress my lower back. Goosebumps spread over my skin as I reached to pull his shirt from his jeans. I nipped and sucked on his bottom lip, loving the way he groaned in response.

  “Hal.” I whispered against his mouth. “Are you real? Please tell me you're real.”

  He removed his hands from under my top and didn't answer my question, instead, he chuckled lightly as he pulled his face away from mine, effectively breaking the moment we just had.

  “It's late and I need to go.” He swept a lock of hair from my cheek and tucked it behind my ear. “Donnie is probably out of his mind right now at the club so I'd better get down there. At least show my face.”

  I blinked at him several times as I tried to understand what he was saying. Leaving? Was he going to leave? I looked down at the way I was straddling him with my arms around his shoulders and handfuls of his shirt in my palms. It didn't take a genius to see that I'd been ready to take things further, a lot further and he was going to leave?

  “Uh…um... okay,” I said as I unraveled myself and slid away. “Yeah, it's probably a good idea. I'm pretty tired.” Faking a stretch and a yawn, I tried my best to play it cool without looking as wounded as I felt. H stared at me as if he wanted to say something but thinking better of it.

  “I'll see you at the club tomorrow?”

  “I'm not sure. I need to look for a sitter and see about a job that's going to help me make steady money I can depend on.”

  “I can get you a sitter. My little sister Elizabeth is nineteen and taking classes at the community college. She's looking to earn some extra money. If you want, I can bring her by tomorrow.”

  “Wow, really? Yes.” I replied, unable to believe his offer. In the span of twenty-four hours, he'd come up with a solution for every single problem I'd spent the last month trying to solve. In the back of my mind, I wondered if it was all too good to be true. “That would be great. Thank you.” I put on a bright smile.

  H flashed me a grin before getting up. I immediately followed and walked him to the door.

  “Hal?”

  “Yeah?” He turned around to look at me expectantly with his hand on the door knob.

  “Why are you so nice to me? Helping me out like this?”

  “Because I can, and I know you don't have anybody else.”

  “But I--,” I started to sputter and he put a finger to my lips.

  “Take it as a compliment, woman. It's okay to accept help when you need it. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone is hell bent on letting you down.” With that, he pecked a kiss on my jaw, them my lips before pulling the door open and closing it behind him.

  I stood there staring blindly ahead wanting so bad to believe his words. The hard part was letting people in when my experience was that they had always screwed me over, one way or another.

  “Lock the door, Annie.” H's muffled command from the other side of the door snapped me back to focus.

  “Yes, sir.” I shouted back in a mock military style voice, then giggled. After the lock and chain were securely i
n place, I heard the Camaro start up then drive away.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Drink?” Tammy asked from behind the bar, holding a bottle of top-shelf vodka in her hand.

  “No.” I shook my head and took another sip of my ginger ale. Tuesday nights usually were pretty slow so Donnie agreed to let Tammy, the bartender, throw a birthday party for herself, hence the reason she was trying to get others to drink. I'd only planned to show my face just long enough to not seem rude before I headed home. I needed to save every dime especially since my boys were back with me. Plus, coming home late and drunk wasn't going to cut it.

  Hal's sister, Elizabeth, had come over earlier in the day. She and the boys spent some time at the park, and then she had lunch with them. Afterward, they seemed to be very comfortable with her, so I asked her to start right away.

  “Oh, pooh! You’re no fun, girl!” Tammy pouted for a second before turning a bright smile to H. “How about you, hunk? Drink?” I turned my head to see Hal sitting in one of the bar stools beside me, but from the frown on Tammy's face, he must have turned her down also.

  “How did it go with Elizabeth?” H asked.

  “Good. She's great with them.” I replied and took another sip from my ginger ale. I was faintly aware that he was speaking but I couldn't make out the words. Something about his presence made me feel self-conscious. I had no idea why but suddenly my blouse felt too low, and I couldn't resist the urge to look down to see if I'd had an indecent amount of cleavage showing. Granted, I'd worn clothes with less coverage here before. The top seemed fine when I put it on, but now it felt uncomfortable and like my nipples were just barely covered by the thin white low cut blouse.

  Discreetly, I tugged up my top in hopes of covering myself a little better. I nodded as he spoke but still barely hearing or processing anything he'd said. Something about Elizabeth, and something about Donnie but I still felt as he spoke his attention was on my breasts even if his gaze wasn’t directed at them. I thought about his smell, our kiss last night, and the way he walked away from a sure lay. When I lifted my glass of ginger ale to my lips, some of it spilled onto my chest.

  Oh My God! Really? Why not just pour the rest of it on me and start a wet t-shirt contest right on the bar top. I was mortified because, in my attempt to draw attention away from my chest, I manage to direct all focus right to it. Grabbing my napkin, I dabbed away the sticky spill, feeling very stupid. The first thing out of my mouth…

  “Oops.” I said, feeling like an idiot as heat rose to my cheeks, aware that my embarrassment had just become obvious.

  H chuckled awkwardly before his attention was pulled to someone shouting over by the pool tables. He mumbled something about needing to see what was going on over there and walked away.

  Deciding that I'd spent more than enough time being polite, I said my goodbyes to Tammy and headed through the kitchen which was the way to the back lots were employees parked. I step into the empty corridor and reached for the door handle when I smelled that deliciously familiar scent. I spun around knowing those all consuming eyes would be there waiting. Before I could react, his mouth was on mine.

  The kiss was just as good as I remembered. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my breasts against his chest. In my foggy mind, it felt like we were moving backward but I didn’t care to break our connection to look around.

  When my back hit something solid, we stopped moving then there was the soft click of a door closing. The place was dark and I could smell lemon scented cleaner which I thought meant we were in the janitor's closet. All alone in the quiet darkness, our kissing intensified. He cupped the back of my head with his hand as he pulled one of my legs up against his side. I wrapped my arms around his neck and raised up on my toes to get closer.

  As his hand stroked the outside of my upper thigh, he murmured against my lips. “It took every ounce of strength I had to walk away from you last night.”

  He plunged his tongue into my mouth, again and again. I moaned, following his cadence and rubbing myself against his front until I felt the hard erection straining behind his pants.

  “I wanted you so badly.” He said against my lips while his hands moved down to rub my warm center through the material of my jeans. As he groaned, I rocked my hips against his fingers trying to work up enough friction. Moving my hand to his huge bulge, I slid my hand up and down the length as best I could in tandem with the movements of his hand rubbing the junction between my thighs. He broke our kiss with a gasp and unzipped my pants, after slipping two fingers inside my panties, he hissed.

  “God, Annie. The feel of you is so... ahh.” His voice trailed off as I rocked myself against his hand. “There’s something about you...”

  Feeling emboldened by his words, I pulled down his zipper, freed him then gripped his length firmly. I swirled my thumb over the drops of precum on the tip a couple of times before I began pumping him up and down. He continued working me with his fingers, slipping one then two fingers inside of me while rubbing my clit with his thumb. His mouth can down and devoured mine as my throaty moans grew louder and our movements became primal. Our breaths grew shallow with each touch as pleasure built between us. Grinding my hips into his hand faster as he rocked back and forth, driving himself more forcefully into my tight fist.

  He released my mouth and rested his forehead against mine so he could look down between us, watching our hands as we pleasured each other. His lips moved to kiss my throat just as I threw my head back, crying out as the beginnings of my orgasm took over. I barely registered his muffled shouts against my neck as his hardness contracted in my fist and spurts of warm wetness drenched my hand with his release.

  My first slightly coherent thought, Wow.

  Loud laughter on the other side of the door instantly cut through our lust filled haze.

  My next fully coherent thought was: What were we doing? Having a quick and dirty encounter in a cleaning closet? This was Hal. Somebody I wanted to mean something to and yet, things were starting out like all the rest.

  The word mistake ran repeatedly in my head.

  I put my clean hand on his chest and shoved him with more force than I intended because he stumbled just a little still trying to gather his own bearings.

  “Sorry, I'm so so sorry.” I murmured, not sure why I was sorry but saying the words all the same. Stepping further away, I wiped my hand with one of the folded towels on the shelf. Wordlessly he tucked in his shirt and fasten his belt in the dim light shining from under the door. The only sound between us was the rustling of our clothes being put back into place. Feeling awkward and very ashamed, I reached for the handle about to pull it open when H gently grabbed my wrist and tugged me back.

  “Wait. I--” He began but I interrupted quickly.

  “I... I have to go.” I gave my wrist a strong tug and he released his hold.

  “I hope he doesn't turn out to be another one of your mistakes.”

  Mama's words filled my head and I felt like screaming. For once, just once, I wanted to get something right.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Annie? What's the matter?” H asked, stepping up to me. I didn't speak because I didn't know how to answer that question. What was the matter with me?

  Before he could say something to make this confusing moment any worse, I swung open the door and stepped into the corridor. The cool rush of air was a welcomed treat to my overheated skin. Walking on slightly wobbly legs, I quickly moved toward the ladies’ room. I’d been picking up pretty good speed until I felt his arm loop around my waist and spin me around to face him. His eyes were the color of warm chocolate and still cloudy with lust as he narrowed them on me. Just as he opened his mouth to speak a high pitched voice called from behind him.

  “There you are, muffin. I've been looking for you everywhere.” A woman slurred behind us. “I wanna go home, baby.” His jaw clenched several times though he never looked away, like he was thinking about what to do next. I made the first move by snapping out
of the trance his eyes held me in.

  I broke free from his arms and stepped back to see a pretty blonde looking unbelievably gorgeous in a tight red dress leaning against the wall. The same one I’d seen in the club before, sitting at the table with everyone and hanging on to H’s arm. Even in her drunken state, she could easily be posing in a magazine advertisement for the designer of that dress she was wearing. I’d forgotten all about her and from the look on H’s face, so did he.

  “I wanna go home.” She slurred again with a pout as she tried to push away from the wall, only the tip back against it again. Her gaze finally landed on me as she lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow while trying to understand the scene before her. I decided it was time for me to leave before I ended up in a brawl with drunken Barbie right there in the hallway. I rushed into the bathroom but to my surprise H followed me inside.

  “Get out!” I shouted and glared at him incredulously.

  “Why are you running from me? What the hell is going on?” He demanded as he stepped into my personal space forcing me backward until I was against the vanity.

  “Get out!” I repeated a second time, with venom dripping from my voice.

  “Why?”

  “Your girlfriend is waiting.”

  “My girlfriend? Who? Tara? She’s Rich Boy’s sister. We’re… friends.” He winced at the description as soon as he spoke it, I knew what he meant by “friends.”

  “I don't give a shit what y'all choose to call it. Now, will you please leave?” H opened his mouth to speak at the same time Donnie came flying into the ladies’ room.

  “What the hell is going on? Whoa! H? What are you doing in here?” Donnie asked while glancing between the two of us, trying to figure out what was happening. Then suddenly a light bulb went off in his head. “H,” his voice was stern. “I need you to get out of here, man. Now.”