Heat

by Gwendolyn Grace

  H took a reluctant step before looking at me one last time.

  “You have it all wrong, Annie.”

  I watched him turn his back and leave. All I could do was stand there and consider what he'd said. What did I have wrong? He was with that girl, wasn't he?

  On the drive home, I wondered if I had just watched my latest mistake walk away. When I fell asleep that night, I closed my eyes and wished with my whole heart to be wrong.

  ****

  The next day I called Elizabeth to come and sit with the boys while I searched for a new place to work. There were too many reasons to count why I couldn't go back to the Jumpstart. The main and most important one was Hal. Even if Tara wasn't his girlfriend, he had something going on with her. It was obvious the time we'd spent together and the kiss we shared wasn't enough for him to cancel plans with other women. He didn't owe me anything and I was well aware of that.

  A month ago I might have been okay with the situation but that had changed. I couldn't afford to make any more mistakes. I'd been given a second chance to do things the right way and I wasn't going to waste it. The next man I let into my bed will have to want to be my husband. Not someone looking for a good time. No, he has to be looking to spend a lifetime with me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Two months later...

  “Good night, y'all!” I called as I turned the lock to the front doors of McCray's Market.

  “Night, Annie.” Two checkout girls who'd worked the late shift with me called back as we parted ways in the parking lot. McCray's was the place I'd been working for the past couple of months. It was a small, high-end grocery store in a fancy part of town. Not my ideal way to earn a living but the pay was decent. I got to spend time with the boys in the mornings since Elizabeth had early classes. We arranged for her to come over in the afternoons so I could work, and on nights where I scheduled a singing gig to supplement my modest paycheck.

  I hadn’t been working at McCray's long before an opening for assistant manager became available. The owner liked the way I handled the customers and motivated the rest of the staff, so he offered me the position. I happily accepted it, because it meant more pay.

  Money was always tight but I had what I needed to get by. My boys were happy which meant I was happy. Well, almost.

  I cranked up my car and started the drive back home with a mixture of excitement and dread.

  Hal would be there. He was usually the one to bring Elizabeth back and forth to my house. He had tried to talk to me several times since that night in the bathroom but I wasn’t ready to listen. I needed to create distance and clear my head of men. I had my kids to focus on and that had to be my priority.

  That still did not stop him. A week after our cleaning closet encounter, both boys had been running fevers. Elizabeth and I were taking turns caring for them while I went to work. After a couple of days I’d made a late night decision to go to the doctor, and Hal showed up at my door ready to help. I was a relieved mess as I threw my arms around him. I never even asked him to come, he was just there. As if he knew that I needed him. Sometimes being a single mother was hard and having another person there to share some of the load made all the difference.

  “I’m not the bad guy you think I am, Annie.” He said quietly as we sat beside each other in the emergency room waiting area, each of us cradling a sick child.

  “I know.” I whispered, not able to think of anyone else I would rather have there with me. “I’m glad you’re here, Hal.”

  “Anything for you, darlin’.”

  It didn’t take long before he switched his strategy to silent persuasion. Sometimes when I left for work, I would find him with the boys in the front yard. He was teaching my oldest how to throw a football while my youngest ran around them pretending to play along. The kids had also taken a liking to the Camaro. As soon as they heard the rumbling outside they would run to the window.

  He was getting harder and harder to avoid, especially after Christmas. I'd been struggling to come up with enough money to buy presents for the boys. I didn't have to say it, but I'm sure Elizabeth knew my situation especially when I didn't have anything under the wilted tree I'd rescued from the Dumpster behind the tree lot. It didn't look that bad after the kids and I decorated it with popcorn on a string, bright red ribbons, and plenty of colorful lights.

  The boys, especially the baby, were too young to understand Christmas but still woke up every morning expecting to open presents.

  “No, babies.” I'd say. “It's not Christmas yet.”

  “When?” They'd ask.

  “Soon.” I'd reply, all too aware of just how soon.

  By Christmas Eve, I'd managed to get a few toys but nowhere near what I’d hoped to have for them. Either way, it would be a special day. Christmas in our first home; not a motel room, a tiny bedroom in someone's house or the backseat of a car. I was baking pies, cooking a big turkey and making all the fixings. Everything I remembered growing up. I might not be able to afford much but I could cook. Dinner that night would be made with love.

  I was sitting on the sofa sipping a hot cup of tea and flipping through a cookbook as I planned our holiday feast for the next day. Outside the rumble of an engine grew louder as it approached the house. I didn’t even need to guess. I knew who it was.

  After a light tapping on the door, I opened it and saw Hal standing there with several shopping bags and two rolls of colorful wrapping paper tucked under his arm. I stood there staring at him, stunned.

  “Well, I’m not that good at wrapping present so I thought it might be better if you did it instead.” Then he walked past me and set everything down in the middle of the living room.

  “Hal, I... how...why did you...?”

  “Shush, woman.” he said then smiled softly down at me. “I did it because I can.” Tears began to spill down my cheeks and he reached up and gently wiped them away with his fingertips. “And I like seeing you happy.”

  I closed my eyes and rested my face against his palm. There was a light brush of his lips against mine, and then he was gone.

  It really wasn't fair. I'd had my mind set on finding someone who was good for me and all roads kept leading back to Hal.

  When I got to the bottom of the bag, I saw a small awkwardly wrapped box with my name on it.

  Not fair at all.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When I pulled up to the house the lights in the boys’ bedroom was still on. Glancing at the fancy watch H had given me for Christmas, I smiled as I remembered the night I lied about the battery in my old one going dead. I wasn’t sure if he believed me, but the gift was thoughtful…and gorgeous. The time was eleven o’clock. The boys should have been in bed hours ago. I hoped one of them wasn’t having a hard time going down for the night.

  As I dragged my bone tired body from the car, I searched my mind for a home remedy to help an overly tired child relax enough to fall asleep. After turning the key in the lock, I pushed open the front door and stepped inside.

  “Elizabeth?” I called out after noticing the living room was empty. When there was no response, I tossed my keys onto the side table and headed to the back bedroom.

  “Hey, Annie Bananie.” I stopped dead at the sound of that voice and my blood ran cold. Only one person called me that. “Did ya miss ole’ Jimmy boy?”

  I turned around and faced the man I’d tried to kill. “I have one of those restrainin’ orders against you, Jimmy. You can’t be here.” I said, trying to suppress my panic. His dark blonde hair was so dirty and greasy that it was a dingy brown. He was skinnier than I remembered with bags under his eyes. I’d never seen him look so bad.

  “That restrainin’ order can kiss my ass. I came to see my kids,” he stepped forward from the darkness of the kitchen with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. “My. Kids!” Jimmy repeated much louder and stressed each word by thumping a fist against his chest with his free hand. After darting a glance down the hall, I saw the boys’ bedroom door was shut. I had no id
ea what to make of it and it scared the shit out of me.

  “The boys? Are they okay?” I asked with a shaky voice, my mind racing over how to handle the situation. The phone was hanging on the wall behind Jimmy, I just needed to figure out a way around him so I could call the cops.

  “They’re fine. Ain’t nobody gonna harm them.” He waved me off with an uncoordinated hand.

  “Elizabeth?”

  “Sent her home.” He sent her home? I knew she didn’t have a car. “I told her everything was just fine now that Daddy was here. I tossed her a few bucks from your stash in that coffee can and she left.” He brought the bottle up to his mouth and took a long swig of liquor. The bastard found the money I was saving for rent. I was guaranteed to find that can empty.

  My thoughts shifted to poor Elizabeth. She must have been terrified and confused. There was a store with a pay phone about a quarter mile up the road, I hoped like hell that she’d already made it there and called for help.

  “What do you want, Jimmy?” I asked and straightened my spine. The old familiar feelings crept their way back in and I was preparing myself for defense. It was the only way to be around him. My chest started to tighten as my heart rate quickened, beads of sweat began to form on my upper lip as I clenched my fists to my sides. He still had the bottle to his lips and drinking so he didn’t respond. “What. Do. You. Want?” I repeated as my temper began to seethe.

  “I wanna know if you’re done with this hissy?”

  “Hissy?” I stormed around in a circle. “Jimmy, you choked me until I almost passed out! I would say this is more than a hissy fit.” Grabbing the cast iron skillet that night as he was dragging me down to the floor and cracking him over the head with it saved my life.

  “That’s what we do, Bananie,” he shrugged and stepped forward on wobbly legs. “Don’t mean I don’t love you.” His statement made my skin crawl. I didn’t want to be loved like that.

  “You need to go.” I walked to the door and was about to pull it open.

  “You don’t want me ‘cause of him?” Jimmy growled into my ear as he trapped me against the door with his body, my back against his chest.

  “What?” I sputtered. “What are you talking about?”

  “Him. The motherfucker with the Camaro.”

  Hal? Was he talking about Hal?

  “H-how did you…?”

  “Oh, baby, I’ve been watching you for a while. Even when you were back at that shit hole motel.” I tried to push him away but my strength was no match for him as he pressed me harder against the door. “Oh, and by the way, I was low on funds. I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed some cash.”

  Jimmy stole my money from the motel? He was the one who taught me to keep the money in the air vent. Of course, he found it with no problem just like he did the coffee can. I hated that he knew my habits so well. Fury raged through me, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head and I began to thrash my arms around.

  “You rotten son of a bitch!” I screeched and tried to break free so I could turn around and slug him in the face. “I had almost two grand in there! I needed that money for the kids!”

  He managed to keep me restrained although I could tell he was beginning to struggle. Maybe the bourbon was catching up to him.

  “You’re fuckin’ him, aren’t you?” He hissed as he flipped me around to face him still keeping a tight grasp on my wrists and trapping them between our bodies. “Were you plannin’ to fuck him tonight?”

  His eyes were ice cold. I’ve never seen him like this, of all the shit we’d fought about, it never involved him actually believing I’d messed around with someone else. He might have said it to get a reaction, but even he never really believed it. I knew we were crossing over into bad territory and I racked my brain to figure out how to diffuse the moment, so I went with passiveness.

  “Jimmy, let’s calm down.”

  “Just answer my question, Annie. Have you been fucking him?”

  “No, I’m not fuckin’ him.” Which was true. I placed my hands against his chest and pushed but it was impossible for me to budge him.

  “I want you to come home.” He murmured, his hazel eyes were a muddy brown as his eyelids began to droop.

  “Home? What home, Jimmy? A cheap motel room? That’s no home.”

  “We’ll get a house.” I rolled my eyes and looked away.

  “I’ve heard that before.”

  “I mean it.” He cooed, then hiccupped.

  “Heard that before, too.” His half-lidded and bloodshot eyes grew wide with anger.

  “How about this, you ain’t got a choice. Those are my kids and I got rights.” He shouted into my face and I closed my eyes as the stench of his breath blew in my face. “You want those kids, you gotta be with me, too. Packaged deal, baby. Take it or leave it.”

  I knew better than to doubt him. He would take off with the boys and no court could do anything about it. Jimmy knew the type of people who would make it so he would never be found, not if he didn’t want to be.

  I had to do something. There was no way I’d be leaving with him and I knew for damn sure my boys wouldn’t be either, so I hatched a desperate plan.

  “Okay.” I said and wriggled a hand up to rest it on his cheek. “Okay, we’ll go with you.”

  “Really?” He asked, shocked at first, then his expression turned to satisfaction. “Damn right you will. You need me and you know it. Get packed up.” He stepped back. When I moved past him, he swatted my behind with a droopy grin. The half-full bottle of bourbon was dangling from his fingers and I saw my chance.

  Before Jimmy could process what was happening, I snatched the bottle from his hand, lifted it high into the air and smashed it against the side of his head with all my might. Shards of glass and amber liquid flew in all directions and scattered across the floor.

  “What the…” Jimmy cried out as he stumbled then fell to his knees. He placed a hand to his head, where blood was seeping down the side of his face. “Stupid bitch! I'll fuckin' kill you.” Not giving him time to rise, I gave him a hard shove in the chest with my foot and sent him sprawling to his back. I straddled his sides and pinned his biceps with my knees. I grabbed a large piece of broken glass, and held the point to his throat.

  “I’m sick of you threatenin’ me.” I said through clenched teeth. “I’m sick of having you in my life.” My wrist shook as a droplet of blood slid along his neck where the point had made a tiny puncture. “Why won’t you just leave me alone? I asked you to leave me alone!” I cried out on the brink of hysteria.

  Jimmy was trying to say something but his words were drowned out by the crashing of the front door. I lifted my head up to see Hal stepping through the rubble, with rage on his face. It was in that moment that I felt the most intense relief. My hero was here and I knew I was safe.

  Chapter Sixteen

  As soon as Hal stepped inside, he stomped a heavy boot onto Jimmy’s chest as he tugged me up, then the cops were storming in, followed by a frantic Elizabeth.

  “I’m sorry, Annie. He pushed me out the door! I didn’t want to leave the boys but he made me!” She threw her arms around me and bawled. I was standing there holding her in shock as I tried to take in everything that was happening. The cops were shouting commands to Jimmy, Hal was yelling obscenities, then the cops were forcing Hal to go outside. Amid all the chaos, Elizabeth gasped and threw a hand to her mouth.

  “Oh God, the boys, Annie! Are they alright?”

  That was a good question. I hurried down the hall to their bedroom with my heart in my throat.

  Please be okay.

  I threw open the door to see my youngest sitting up in his crib and crying. His tiny sleepy face told me that the recent commotion had woken him. My oldest boy, however, was out for the count as he lay there tangled in his blankets, with a foot hanging off the bed and one arm over his eyes.

  I realized in that moment just how truly lucky I was to have it all. My babies were safe and sound, and I had a second
chance to do things right with a man like Hal who would take care of my heart.

  ****

  After the cops were gone, Hal made sure the door was back in place as best he could and promised to buy a new one in the morning. I’d put the baby back to sleep and Elizabeth’s boyfriend came to pick her up. Since Jimmy violated the restraining order, and had several other warrants that had finally caught up to him, he was going to jail for a while and I felt a lot safer knowing that. The cops saw I was defending myself so no charges were pressed against me.

  “You okay?” I asked as I sat down on the couch beside Hal who was flipping through channels on the television. He insisted on waiting while I took a long shower in order to get my head together. It was exactly what I needed. Just knowing he was there helped calm my nerves.

  “Me? You went through all of that and you’re worried about me?” He scoffed and tossed the remote on the coffee table. “Darlin', I should be asking you how you’re doing.”

  “I’m fine.” A shiver went through my body as I let go of the last bit of strength I had been using to hold myself together. A girl can only take on so much. I stared down at my lap, as tears worked their way down my cheeks and onto the back of my clasped hands. The adrenaline was wearing off and suddenly I felt cold and incredibly tired. I was faintly aware of Hal carrying me down the hall and placing me on the bed. I closed my eyes loving the feel of his strong arms holding me tight, and I lay there breathing him in and soaking up his warmth as I drifted off to sleep.

  ****

  The faint light of morning filtered through the curtains and I blinked several times before shooting straight up to a sitting position.

  “What time is it?” I gasped, having no clue how long I’d been sleeping.

  “Relax, it’s not even six yet.” Hal mumbled beside me.

  “In the morning?”

  “Yes, in the morning,” he gently tugged me back until I was lying down again. “Now, go back to sleep, woman.” He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply as he pulled me closer to him. After a few minutes of silence, his breathing grew steady as he fell back to sleep. I chewed on my bottom lip for a while knowing that I was about to disrupt him.