Reunited with the Cowboy

by Claire McEwen

  “Oh gosh no.” The words burst from Maya’s lips before she’d even given thought to her answer.

  “That’s not what I saw.” Kathy wagged a finger. “That man can’t take his eyes off you.”

  “The rest of us might as well not have existed,” Mrs. Axel said. “He still has feelings for you.”

  “Yes, he does. Feelings of hatred, resentment and anger.” When they all stared, probably startled by her vehemence, she added, “It didn’t go so well, the first time I went out to his ranch.”

  “Well, there’s a lot of hurt between you,” Kathy said. “But hurt can heal.”

  Maya reached down to pet Einstein’s floppy ears, not wanting to go too far down this road. There was no way she and Caleb could ever fall in love again. Julie’s accident was a chasm they’d never be able to cross back over. And they had gone on to have very different lives, in different states. “I think Trisha is right. He likes to swoop in and be the rescuer. Maybe it’s an ex-Marine thing.” He was probably already regretting his superhero impulses, since they’d gotten him stuck working with her.

  But hey, if Caleb’s need to rescue women helped Maya rescue a few mountain lions, then that was a good thing.

  There was silence in the room, and then Monique broke it with her worldly drawl. “Stop by the salon tomorrow, ladies. I’ll be taking bets. And my money is on Maya and Caleb figuring out this mess between them before the summer is over.”

  “You all have had too much cougarita,” Maya admonished. “If Caleb and I can figure out how to work together for one day without yelling at each other, it will be a miracle. Maybe bet on that.”

  It was easier to think of it that way. Safer too. He’d broken her heart—no, exploded it into fragments so tiny, she was still trying to find pieces, so many years later.

  But today at the rodeo, there’d been this moment when it had felt so good to be taking on Fred together. To be on the same side again. Maybe that was them, healing their old wounds, just a little. It would be nice to have that healing. When this job was over, she’d be able to leave Shelter Creek knowing that her history with Caleb was truly in the past. That they’d done their best to make amends and move on.

  And then she could get back to her simple, straightforward life in Boulder. Where she could think and work, and focus on her research again. It might seem boring to some people, but it was all she needed.

  Maya reached for her cougarita and raised it to the group. “I want to thank you all for joining me at the rodeo today. I had no idea you had planned all that—the decorations for my table, Uma the Puma, the amazing T-shirts, all of it. Let’s raise a glass to Cougars for Cougars, and all of their hard work at the Shelter Creek Rodeo.”

  They clinked glasses, and there was a moment of relaxed silence while everyone drank. Trisha sipped water, but even she looked relaxed, leaning back on the sofa, her eyes closed.

  Eva was the first to break the peaceful mood. “Speaking of cougars, I want to run something by all of you.”

  “Hang on.” Monique hopped out of her seat and started refilling everyone’s glass. It was going to be a legendary Booze Biddy meeting for sure.

  “So, I’ve never really mentioned this.” Eva set her glass down and folded her hands, looking uncharacteristically uncertain. “But I actually have quite a bit of money set aside. I’ve been holding on to it while I figured out a use for it. I want to do something that will help make a difference in the world. And I think I’ve found what that something is.”

  “A donation to The Biddies’ retirement fund?” Kathy quipped.

  “Well, I’m happy to pay for the cougaritas.” Eva smiled and patted her friend on the knee. “But no, this is something a bit bigger than that. It is actually inspired by Maya here.”

  Maya sat up a little straighter. Einstein lifted his head too, as if he recognized Maya’s name when Eva said it.

  “When I moved to Shelter Creek a few years ago, one of the things that drew me here was all of the beautiful nature around us. Listening to Maya talk about her work, I’ve realized that we need someplace right here in town where we can educate people about our local wildlife. I’m picturing a nature center, but one that would also offer services such as wildlife rescue and consulting, like what Maya is doing now.” Then she skewered Maya with a shrewd look. “And we’d need biologists like you on staff.”

  The room was silent for a long moment.

  “That is a brilliant idea,” Grandma Lillian said.

  “I love it,” Mrs. Axel added. “Can I volunteer?”

  “Of course,” Eva nodded. “If I can ever figure out how to really make it happen. I’ll need investors, donors, grants—my nest egg isn’t big enough to cover everything. But it’s seed money. Maya, what do you think of the idea?”

  It was tough to figure out a way to answer. Maya didn’t want to dampen Eva’s enthusiasm, but what she was proposing was a huge project, and Maya had no room for it in her life. Finally she managed to assemble a few sentences. “I think it’s an amazing idea. Truly. This area is so rich in wildlife, and what you’re describing would be great for the ranchers, for tourists, for everyone. I’d be happy to advise you however I can. But I won’t be here to help. I have a grant for a research project in Colorado in the fall. I’ll be studying the interactions of mountain lions and mountain goats and doing a lot of research out in the field. That’s the kind of work I enjoy the most.”

  Despite Fred Corrigan’s unfriendly visit, talking with people at the rodeo today had actually been fun. Most people had great questions and truly wanted to learn. Maya had been surprised at how quickly the time went by, and how many people had made her laugh and smile.

  But she couldn’t stay here in Shelter Creek. She’d worked so hard to establish herself in Colorado and her new research grant was waiting. Her colleagues respected her, and, more than that, she was peaceful there. She wasn’t faced with her past every day, the way she was in Shelter Creek.

  Plus how could she stay here and watch Caleb’s life go on without her? Which it would, eventually. He’d find someone to love. He’d get married. He’d have children. And of course she wanted him to find that happiness. But she couldn’t be a witness to it. Not when it had been her dream for them. Not when she could barely meet his eyes, or stand near him, without feeling all that old longing start to rise in her veins. She’d worked so hard to banish it, to ignore the way she missed him. Yet it had all come rushing back today at the rodeo.

  But they were different people now. With different lives, in different places. And even if they could find common ground, they’d probably caused each other too much pain to find happiness together again. But that didn’t mean she wanted to stay here and watch him find it with someone else.

  She tried to ignore the disappointment in everyone’s eyes. Especially Grandma’s.

  “Any advice you could give me would be very helpful.” Eva was watching her carefully, and Maya got the feeling she’d read every one of her thoughts. Then Eva looked around at the group. “What do you think, Cougars? Do you want to help me start the Shelter Creek Wildlife Center?”

  The Biddies raised their cougaritas in unison.

  Maya raised her glass too. The wildlife center seemed like a great idea. And the fact that her love of wildlife had inspired it was something she’d remember with pride.

  But it was bittersweet because it was hitting her just how short this summer was. That she would be leaving in a few weeks. And not just leaving Grandma, but leaving The Biddies, and now Trisha.

  Maya had worked hard to create a self-reliant life, where she couldn’t hurt or disappoint anyone, and they couldn’t let her down either. It was a lonely life sometimes, but at least it was free of heartbreak. But these amazing women had somehow gotten past her armor, and she already knew it was going to be really hard to leave them behind.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

&nbs
p; CALEB TRIED TO slide the halter over Amos’s nose, but the big black gelding tossed his head and backed into the corner of the stall.

  Caleb reached into his pocket for the grain he’d stashed there and held a handful out to the worried horse. He’d picked Amos up from a rescue organization about a month ago, which meant the quarter horse mix had probably been abused. Whatever his history, he clearly still had a few mental issues to work out.

  Which made two of them.

  Caleb hadn’t ever believed in things like ghosts, but now he wondered. He’d had the dream again last night. He closed his eyes at night and the boy was there. Running toward him out of the dark. The bulky shape around his chest.

  And then the bang and flash of Caleb’s gun and the still form down in the dust, and Caleb awoke in the dark, his heart banging on his ribs like it was trying to escape.

  He’d struggled out of the covers, desperate to get outside, into the cool foggy air, so he could pull in all that clean oxygen and remind himself that he wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t in Afghanistan, he wasn’t on guard and he wasn’t trying to make impossible life-and-death choices in split-second intervals.

  Hobo had followed him outside, weaving his soft and strangely comforting form around Caleb’s ankles, until Caleb scooped him up and cuddled him to his chest.

  He’d brought his blankets outside and slept the rest of the night out on the porch, with the cat cuddled close. At least he hadn’t brought a bottle with him this time. Maya was coming to visit this morning. And Caleb was glad to have another day of sobriety under his belt, for both their sakes.

  Caleb stretched out his hand to get the grain closer. “Come on, Amos. It’s me. You know me.”

  Amos reached his nose as far forward as he could, trying to reach the grain without moving his hooves. Finally, Caleb turned his back on the horse and held out his hand to his side. There was a soft shuffling of hooves on wood shavings as Amos came toward him. A light snuffling of lips on Caleb’s palm. A small victory.

  “See? That wasn’t so bad.” Amos was funny in the mornings. Like he had bad dreams too. But once he got out into the fresh air, he seemed happier. No wonder he and Caleb seemed to understand each other so well.

  Amos finished the grain and nuzzled Caleb’s pockets for more. “Once your halter is on.” This time Amos obliged, letting Caleb slide the halter over his nose and buckle it behind his ears.

  Caleb rewarded him with another handful of grain and ran a hand under the horse’s thick, black mane. Amos was a lot of work right now, but he had potential if he could just learn to trust Caleb.

  The big horse already liked Hobo. The nutty cat had followed Caleb into the stall and was perched on the old wooden manger. When Amos finished his grain, he brought his nose down to the scraggly orange fur ball and snuffed him, allowing the cat to rub his back along his nose.

  “Hobo, you’ve got to end this lovefest. Amos and I have to get ready.” Caleb wanted to be organized when Maya arrived. So she’d see that he wasn’t that same drunk guy she’d found on the porch that morning.

  Caleb swore the cat gave him a grumpy, disappointed look. Like a kid who’d been told he had to stop playing and start his homework. He shook his head at the ridiculous thought. Jace was right. He was spending way too much time with that cat.

  He led Amos out of the barn and tied him to the corral fence, leaving the knot pretty loose in case Amos had one of his panic attacks. Luckily they were getting more rare. Six weeks into his stay at the Bar D, and Amos had finally seemed to realize that Caleb meant him no harm. In fact Caleb was starting to wonder if Amos’s skittish haltering behavior wasn’t just an act to get a little extra grain.

  But even if Amos was warming up to Caleb and Hobo, he still treated the rest of the world with suspicion.

  “Hey, Caleb.” Maya’s voice came softly from several yards away, and Caleb turned to see her standing there, as if she’d been watching him for a moment already. “What a gorgeous horse.”

  She came forward and held out her hand. Amos instantly did his giraffe imitation, head up as high as the rope would allow, eyes rolled back as he glared down at the stranger in their midst.

  “Easy, Amos. You’re fine.” Caleb ran a hand down the horse’s neck. He turned to Maya. “Maybe take a step back. He’s not too sure about other people yet.”

  Maya stepped away but still held out her knuckles, standing quietly, patiently, like she had all the time in the world.

  Amos huffed out a few sharp breaths but lowered his head, stuck out his nose, tentative at first but growing more confident as Maya stood unwavering. He nuzzled her hand, then jerked away, as if waiting for a blow to fall.

  Maya didn’t react; she just kept waiting, until he nuzzled her again. And again. Until finally Amos huffed his horsey breath all over her face and shoulders as he checked her out more thoroughly. When he nuzzled her ear, she laughed and Amos didn’t startle.

  “You’ve got a way with him.” It had taken a couple of weeks for Caleb to get to that point with the horse.

  “If there’s one thing my career has taught me, it’s how to stand still and wait for an animal to do whatever it’s going to do.” Maya ran her hand down Amos’s neck, a shy smile tilting the corners of her mouth. “It may be one of my few real talents.” She gave Amos a last pat and stepped back. “Nice to meet you, Amos.”

  Caleb took her in: torn jeans, old cowboy boots, a pink T-shirt with Rocky Mountain National Park printed across the front. Her baseball cap was so faded, it really didn’t have a color anymore. But it didn’t matter what she wore. Her hair hung down in two long braids, and her deep brown eyes were smiling at him.

  She was beautiful. Like no one else he’d ever seen. A hollow feeling in his chest had him swallowing hard. “Are you ready to ride? It’s the easiest way to see the area where the lion showed up.”

  “That would be great.”

  “You remember how?”

  “I’ve ridden a lot over the years.” She had the quiet confidence he was beginning to recognize. Not much rattled her. And because of it, he felt more rattled around her. Or maybe it was because she was Maya and she was here, smiling at him, forgiving him.

  She’d ridden a lot. Another reminder that she’d had a whole life elsewhere, full of all kinds of people, places and experiences he knew nothing about. A sudden sadness tugged at him. He’d missed it all. Because of the accident, his hurt and his anger.

  “You’ll have to take Newt today.”

  There was her real smile, full and dimpled and lighting up her eyes just like he’d tried not to remember all these years. “You still have him? How old is he now?”

  “Seventeen. He’s pretty mellow these days. Jace’s kids came by to ride him a few days ago, and he was perfect with them.”

  “Newton’s Bright Flash.” Maya’s voice was almost dreamy. “I always thought we should have called him Flash.”

  Caleb couldn’t help but smile at the memory. He’d raised Newt from birth, and had been grateful that his dad had hung on to him, even when he’d sold off all the other livestock.

  “Don’t blame me. You’re the one who said he wasn’t very flashy. Kind of brown, like a newt. You called him Cute Newt. And it stuck.” He remembered it all so clearly. And he was letting it affect him way too much.

  Maybe the bad night had left him lonely, made it easy to forget all that was impossible between them. “I’ll go get Newt,” he told her.

  She nodded absently, studying his barn, probably noticing the places where he’d patched rotting wood with plywood. She didn’t say anything, but she bit her lower lip, as if she was considering the evidence of his changed circumstances.

  He got Newt’s halter and led the big quarter horse outside, tying him to the rail, a good distance away from unpredictable Amos. Maya fussed over her old friend, letting him snuffle her hands and face.

 
“I think he knows me.” She laughed softly as Newt nibbled at one of her pigtails.

  “Horses have long memories.” Caleb handed her a brush and went to groom Amos, not wanting her close, because he could feel her laugh like a warm breeze, feel all of her movements when she was near, like the air she moved in somehow moved him.

  She turned to Newt and began at his neck, brushing in long strokes over his rusty brown withers. Time twisted and Caleb could see her when they were young, so similar to how she looked now, reaching up on tiptoe to give him a kiss, thanking him for taking her riding, looking at him with such admiration and feeling in her eyes. He missed that Maya with a sharpness that startled him.

  What would it be like to be loved that way now?

  Nope. Bad idea. They’d agreed to put the past behind them today, yet here he was already dredging it up. He should focus on Amos, on brushing the horse’s dark hair, on rewarding his patience with another nibble of grain.

  Amos had probably known how to do this at one point. How to stand still and be groomed. But all that had been disrupted by whatever trauma he’d gone through. Now he was learning how to be someone’s horse all over again.

  Just like Caleb was learning to be a civil person again. And he’d practice today, by offering Maya friendship, respect and professionalism.

  He went to get his saddle and the only other one that Dad had left here. Caleb had no idea what happened to all of the others, Mom’s and Julie’s saddles, all tooled leather and laced in silver. His dad had probably pawned them when money had gotten tight. The one Caleb found for Maya had probably been too old and plain to sell.

  Putting his saddle on the fence for now, he handed Maya a saddle pad, nodding when she put it in just the right spot. He swung her saddle up and cinched it around Newt’s belly. “He could use the exercise,” he told her, patting Newt’s round stomach. “Mostly he just hangs out and eats.”