Reunited with the Cowboy

by Claire McEwen

  “I’m glad your family kept him.” Her eyes darted again to the patched barn.

  “I know. I was surprised Dad held on to him, when he let everything else fall apart.”

  “The ranch must have been really hard to come home to.” She ran her hand over Newt’s mane and Caleb was grateful she wasn’t looking at him, that she was giving him space to say what was tough to speak of.

  “It was. My mom moved to New York years ago and Dad stayed here on the ranch. I guess he was pretty depressed for a long time, but I didn’t realize it. We emailed pretty often and talked on the phone when we could, but he never mentioned any problems.”

  She glanced his way, her teeth worrying her lower lip. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Not your fault. I should have come home, I should have checked on him. I was selfish, protecting myself instead of looking out for him.”

  She nodded. “I did the same, with my grandmother.” Her quiet understanding made it okay to tell her the rest.

  “When I got home from the Marines, I discovered that he’d given up on the ranch, and sold everything off to get by. I found all kinds of mail that he’d never even opened, including a letter from the state. It said they were going to take possession of the ranch because he hadn’t paid his taxes in years.

  “They’d given him a month to respond, but when I found the notice, the deadline was two weeks away. I’ve been negotiating with the state ever since, paying what I can so they won’t take the property. I hired a lawyer to help me.” He gestured to the barn, the fences, the disaster that was now the Bar D. “I don’t have money for much else.”

  She looked stricken. “I’m so sorry that happened. Annie’s barn raising will help, right? And there is grant money available, if you want it. From this mountain lion advocacy group. They’ll pay for all kinds of improvements here, to help control predation. In exchange, you’d give tours to other ranchers, so they could learn from you.”

  “No,” he said quickly. “I’m already feeling like a charity case thanks to Annie’s plans. I don’t want anything else.”

  “It’s not charity—it’s getting involved in a cause. And it could help you fix up the ranch. You could have state-of-the-art technology to prevent predators. I really think you should consider it.”

  She sounded almost frantic, and it hit him suddenly why. “You’re not responsible for my dad not paying his bills. You don’t have to try to fix everything.”

  He saw the words hit her, saw their impact, and knew he’d been right.

  “I feel responsible. I was driving the car that night. Then, after the accident, your dad got depressed and stopped paying bills.”

  “No, Maya, don’t.” He put a hand to her arm, as if he could stop her mind from racing off in the wrong direction. “You were right about something, the last time you were here. I’m responsible for that accident too. I was the one Julie called for a ride that night. I passed that duty on to you. That’s a regret I have to live with.

  “And that same logic extends to my parents. They were stern with us. Not the kind of folks you wanted to admit a mistake to. If they’d been more understanding, maybe Julie would have called them that night. Please stop carrying this on your shoulders. I was so wrong, to put that burden on you.”

  Her eyes welled, and she went back to petting Newt’s neck. Caleb fought the urge to pull her to him, to hold her and assure her that he meant what he said, but he had no right to touch her, no matter how much he wanted to.

  They couldn’t be close, so he pushed them apart. “I don’t need you to come around here, trying to make things better. That’s my responsibility.” He glanced around at the myriad of repairs he still had to make. “It’s going to be a long road, but I’ll get there.”

  She was quiet for a moment, and finally turned to face him with an audible, shaky breath. “Sometimes the long roads are the ones worth walking.”

  Years ago he’d have known exactly what she meant. Because he’d known her, all her layers and nuances. Now she was a mystery. But clearly she’d walked long roads of her own. He still couldn’t quite believe that they’d led her back here, to him.

  “Speaking of long roads,” she said, sounding a little more cheerful. “I’ve got a friend who’s had a bumpy one. Can I introduce you to my dog, Einstein? I left him sleeping in the back of my truck but I’m sure he’s ready to say hello.”

  “Of course. Just keep him leashed around Amos at first.”

  She left for her truck and came back with one of the coolest-looking dogs Caleb had ever seen.

  “He’s got eyebrows.” He knelt down, and Einstein sat and offered a paw. Caleb shook it, then ran his fingers over the dog’s rough coat and his enormous ears. “What a good guy.” He watched Einstein head back to Maya on his three legs. “He gets along pretty well, doesn’t he?”

  “Can he ride with us? He’s good around livestock. He’s been going out to different ranches with me and he always behaves.”

  Caleb glanced at Amos, but the skittish gelding didn’t seem to care much about the dog. It was probably only humans who got him worried. “Sure.”

  Einstein sat where Maya told him to wait by the fence, and they finished getting the horses ready. Caleb tried to hold Newt for Maya while she mounted, but she met his eyes with a soft, “I’ve got it,” and swung up like she’d been riding every day since he’d last seen her.

  Another good reminder that they were strangers now.

  He wasn’t nearly so graceful getting up on Amos, thanks to the shrapnel in his calf that stabbed him when he moved like this.

  It took a minute for Amos to settle, but finally the worried horse stood quietly. Caleb looked at Maya to find her watching him with a slight smile. “You’re good with him. Patient.”

  “He’s still figuring stuff out.” Caleb saw Hobo wending his way along the fence, toward him. If they didn’t get out of here, the cat would probably try to ride Amos too. Maybe it was vanity but Caleb wouldn’t mind maintaining a few shreds of dignity while he rode with the woman he’d once loved so much. “You ready to go?”

  “Lead the way.” She patted Newt on the neck. “I can’t believe I’m riding this guy again. Come on, Einstein.” The big dog trotted behind them, keeping a safe distance from Newt’s hooves.

  Caleb moved Amos forward, heading for the dirt road that wound out through the ranch toward the hills. He couldn’t believe it either. It was like time travel, her on Newt. Them riding together. It was nice. It seemed like they’d repaired a little of the hurt between them. And when they finished working together, and she went back to Colorado, maybe they could each go forward with a little more peace of mind.

  Except now, with this tenuous connection between them, he wasn’t sure how he felt about her leaving. Even during all the years they’d been apart, when he’d assumed they’d never see each other again, he’d missed her. Missed them and the way they’d been. And now that they were talking a little, he caught glimpses of what he’d missed, and it was like seeing something so precious in a fancy jewelry store window and knowing that he’d never get to have it. She’d made a whole new life for herself in Colorado, thanks to him. So he had to respect that.

  Maybe the connection he felt with her was really just because she’d showed up on his porch that drunken morning like an angry angel, to show him just how messed up he was. How far he’d gone in his pursuit of oblivion. She’d woken him up, brought him back to life. Made him face his past. It would be easy to mistake his gratitude for something more.

  Caleb urged Amos into a brisk walk, let the big horse pull ahead of Newt, let the wide-open trail ahead act as his own personal metaphor. He had a whole life ahead of him and so did she. He listened to the steady beat of hooves, felt the weight of his legs in the stirrups, worked on keeping flighty Amos in check. His horse, his ranch, his path, his life here on the Bar D.

  Maya was just here
to advise him about mountain lions. And he’d best remember that.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  NEWT’S HOOVES HIT the ground in a relaxing rhythm and Maya wished they could stay like this, ambling evenly through the wide-open field, Caleb and Amos a good distance ahead, Einstein trotting just behind. She needed this time to think about all that Caleb had said, and all he’d encountered, coming home to such devastation. He’d almost lost the ranch. He was still fighting for it, every day.

  And even though he told her otherwise, she had played a part in his crisis. So whether Caleb liked it or not, she was going to try to help him. Maybe she needed to make amends, and maybe she was just absolving her own guilt, but that grant he didn’t want could change his life. She had to find a way to show him that. To make him understand that it wasn’t charity. He’d pay back the money tenfold by showing other ranchers how to keep predators away.

  Funny how she’d thought she was coming home to help Grandma. But really it was Grandma helping her, by getting her to come home and finally deal with the accident and its aftermath. And now here she was, trying to help Caleb. And Caleb had helped Trisha, who’d then turned around to help Maya. The four of them were a circle that might just have the power to repair the past.

  The hills were closer now and Maya studied their contours. The gullies made by winter runoff traced vein-like patterns in the ground where the hills came together. She could see the coyote brush and coastal sage clumping at the base of the hills, creating perfect hiding places for predators.

  In the distance Maya could see the fluffy backs of about a half dozen sheep. A big oak tree. And a fence that was a recipe for disaster. “Caleb,” she called and pointed. “Can we go over there?”

  He nodded. “You want to go a little faster?”

  She glanced back at Einstein. The dog might be missing a leg but he hadn’t lost his love of running. “Let’s try it.”

  He nudged Amos into a lope, and she asked Newt to follow. It was like riding a rocking horse. Maya didn’t even try to keep up with Amos’s mad dash, content with Newt’s easy gait, which Einstein could match, and her view of Caleb’s denim-clad back, his posture upright as he and Amos covered the ground to the fence, then stopped to wait for them.

  He was iconic, in that tilted hat, his ease in the saddle, his dark eyes and his slight smile as he watched her ride toward him. He might actually look happy, though she didn’t know, anymore, what happiness looked like on him.

  But if not happy, he definitely seemed more clearheaded and she wondered if he’d quit drinking. Hoped he had. But she knew how easily hopes got crushed by one bad night and a bottle.

  She pulled her gaze away from Caleb to study the grass along the fence line ahead of them. When she and Newt came up alongside him, she asked, “Is this where the lion killed your sheep?”

  He looked surprised. “Just up there, a couple hundred yards. How did you know?” There was a different note in his voice. It sounded a little like respect.

  Maya dismounted and handed Newt’s reins to Caleb. She pointed to a path of slightly broken grass. “That’s where the puma dragged its kill away. It probably cached it in those bushes on the other side of the fence. Most likely it came back to feed on it for the next few nights.”

  Caleb ran a hand along the stubbled line of his jaw, staring where she pointed. “So, you’re saying I didn’t need to go hunting for it up in those hills the night we met? I could have gotten it right here?”

  She glanced up at him, not sure if she should be amused or dismayed. “Just to be clear, I’m glad you didn’t kill it, wherever it was. But yes, pumas like to kill larger animals and eat them over time, rather than go hunting every single night. So they hide their kill and return to it to eat.”

  She looked around, picturing exactly how the slaughter might have happened. “How many sheep did it kill out here?”

  “I found two, but I was missing three.” He tilted his chin in the direction of the bushes she’d pointed out. “Now I know where that third one probably was.”

  “It killed more than it needed.” Maya studied the fence. It turned sharply inward, to make its way around the far side of a few oaks. “I think the sheep got trapped here, in this corner of the fence under the tree, and panicked. The mountain lion may have picked up on their fear. When livestock panic, it can cause a mountain lion to kill more than one animal.”

  “Like I said, the thing was killing for fun.” His voice was almost as hard as it had been the night they first ran into each other on the trail.

  “Not fun,” she corrected. “It’s all instinct. Their vision isn’t like ours. They sense motion and follow that. When sheep panic, they’re in constant motion. When a mountain lion panics, it kills until all the motion stops.”

  “But why would the lion panic?” Caleb protested. “It was in charge here.”

  “If the prey felt trapped, and ran back and forth in this little space, the lion might have felt trapped too.”

  Caleb stared at her warily, like he thought she’d lost her mind. “If you’re trying to make me feel sympathy for a claustrophobic lion, you’re wasting your time.”

  She bit back a sudden urge to smile. Was he trying to be funny? “I’m not trying to make you sympathetic. But I suspect that if the fence was straight here, instead of making this corner, the sheep would have run off and the lion would have only taken one of them.”

  “So, you’re saying I should get rid of corners.”

  “It will help. There isn’t one perfect solution to stop predators.”

  He stared at her and she looked right back up at him. This wasn’t the first time she’d had to stare down a stubborn rancher, though it was different because it was Caleb, and if she stared too long, she felt kind of dizzy. Like she’d been looking too long at a bright light.

  A slow, unexpected tilt to his mouth hinted at humor. “You know what they say about cutting corners.”

  “You’re laughing about this?”

  “Laugh or cry, I guess. And depressing as this is, it’s kind of nice to see you in full-blown science mode.”

  She had no idea what to say to that. “It’s what I do. And at least we’ve solved this mystery. As you’re rebuilding the fences around the property, just keep this situation in mind. No sharp corners.”

  “And what else?”

  “I think the best way to learn about it is to visit a ranch that’s already made these changes. If you’re willing to go on a road trip with me, that is.”

  “How long of a road trip?” He looked so worried that she almost laughed.

  “A couple of hours. You can go on your own if you’d rather. There’s a guy up north near Willits. Aidan Ford. A couple of years ago he accepted some of that grant money I mentioned before. He’s had a lot of luck deterring predators. You can see how he’s doing it.”

  “You’re still trying to get me to take that money.”

  “I’m trying to show you the best practices for managing your livestock and wildlife. How you pay for it is your business. Though, yes, I think you should take the grant.”

  His jaw set in a hard stubborn line. “I’ll think about it.”

  She wanted to smack him with frustration. The grant money could turn things around for him, and it was only his pride keeping him from seeing that. “Look, why don’t I get in touch with Aidan. You can visit his ranch and then see what you think about the grant.”

  He looked relieved. “Okay.”

  Maya took Newt’s reins back from him and led the horse along the fence, looking for more signs of mountain lions. Einstein trailed alongside, stopping to sniff various interesting items along the way.

  Caleb was talking to Amos in a low, soothing voice, and Maya glanced back to see the big black horse jogging restlessly, not wanting to slow to Newt’s relaxed walk. It was such a contrast: the big man in the dark cowboy hat, with his b
road shoulders and tattooed arms, and those sweet, calming words.

  Maya forced her gaze forward again. It wouldn’t help her to notice things like that. Caleb wasn’t for her. She had a few more weeks in Shelter Creek and then she’d get back to her own life. Moments like this, when she noticed how handsome Caleb was, how compelling—well, these were the moments when she realized she couldn’t get back to Colorado fast enough. She could not let her heart get hung up on him again.

  She scanned the trail in front of her. “Hang on.” She stopped Newt and crouched down to examine the droppings left by a mountain lion and a couple paw prints, left in the dust.

  “What did you find?” Caleb had caught up with her and was sliding off Amos.

  “Scat.”

  “Was it something I said?”

  She blanked for a moment, then got the joke and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. She’d forgotten he was funny. It was one of the things that had drawn her to him when they were in high school. His goofy murmured jokes were such a contrast to his big frame and his serious good looks.

  His eyes, bright with humor, had deep lines creasing the corners, and she couldn’t look away, couldn’t remember what she’d been so interested in, because she just wanted to study these new lines, the worry etched between his eyes, the unfamiliar scar along his cheekbone, the way his dimple still carved an arc into his cheek.

  She pointed to the ground. “Be serious. This is important. It’s from a mountain lion and it’s fresh.”

  “And you look like Christmas just came early. So I guess I know what to get you come December.”

  Ugh. “No scat in my stocking, please. But listen. This could be really exciting. These tracks are fresh too. I’d bet this lion is still in the area, waiting for dusk.”

  “That’s not exciting—it’s nerve-racking. At dusk it’s going to try to eat my sheep.”

  Maya took a deep breath, hoping this new ease between them would carry over into what she wanted to ask him. “Actually, at dusk I’d like to try to get a radio collar on it, if I can.”