Reaching Answers

by Erin R Flynn

  “Yes, and I can get my family involved to help in a way that they won’t realize what’s going on,” she muttered, jotting down notes.

  “And what do they want in return?” I asked, knowing that tone. I didn’t need the ability to read auras to know when someone was in trouble, flinching when I had a guess. “The council made a move.”

  “Yes, and the move some powerful warlocks were trying to make with the dragon royals—”

  “The council wants to get involved in the glamours and wards on all the Veritas Portas stores,” I whispered in horror.

  “Yes, yes they do,” she chuckled darkly. “We just received notices they would be inspecting them after the new year and had decided to aid us since none of us could have the power they do to keep them going. Oh, and they will be adding tariffs for the cost of that, and access to our records.”

  “So they’re taking over.” I sat back in my chair and scrubbed both hands over my face. “Wow, the fuckers aren’t even trying to hide it anymore.”

  “You are more than able to keep up your glamour, Katrina,” Iolas stated. “You could make tier eight crystals when I last saw you. Have you been injured in a way that you cannot anymore?”

  “One, you can’t out people on the levels they can make, as it’s dangerous,” I explained, my voice tired. “Two, the current warlock elders ruling the council can only make tier five, and some forced children of fairies to mate them since they could make tier ten. Three, just assume everything is constantly fucked up from what you knew. It will save time and generally be the answer.”

  Neldor snorted. “Unfortunately, she’s right. It’s distressing and I itch to handle it constantly, but we are not in that position to yet.”

  “Not yet,” I sighed. I glanced up at the Iolas who looked irate. “Can you make tier ten crystals?”

  “Of course I can,” he whispered, affronted I would even ask.

  “Mate, I have no idea how this all works, okay? I mean—I never mean offense unless I really mean it, and then I’m not subtle.”

  “I understand.” Clearly, from his frown he didn’t, but I appreciated the backup and that he didn’t want to be a pain.

  “Then let’s work tomorrow on getting some of those and recharge those glamours. We are not letting those stores and a family who has been helping make our world better get taken over by those corrupt bastards.”

  “People will know it was you,” Katrina warned.

  I shrugged. “And what will they do? Come after me? I’ll pencil them in for every other day instead of once a week. The idiots never stop coming for me no matter how many times they fail. I’m seconds from…” I slowly smiled.

  “Oh no,” Mrs. Vogel smiled. “That’s your evil grin. No good comes from that.”

  Dean White snorted. “Lots of good does, but it’s normally messy. You laughed last time.”

  “Yes, yes, I did,” Mrs. Vogel confessed.

  I didn’t actually know what they were talking about as there were so many instances of my misbehaving, but I was glad to entertain everyone. At least I got the job done, right?

  I did that night. We all did as we plotted out what we had to and got more handled in one shorter after-dinner meeting than most governments could over months and months.

  12

  “Can I ask you something I shouldn’t, love?” Craftsman murmured in my ear.

  In another dream. They had been going on for weeks now. I couldn’t stop them… And I didn’t want to. I had missed him—us—and even if I only got this fake time in dreams, I was clinging to it.

  “No, no serious,” I grumbled as I ducked under the covers and curled away from him. My body deliciously ached like it would in real life from him making love to me in a dream. All of it in my head. It was so real that I couldn’t believe it.

  But I knew it wasn’t healthy either. I had made a deal with myself to enjoy this over break and get closure from him. When school started again I was going to ask White about sleeping draughts and get help.

  I clearly needed help.

  He followed me, cupping my ass as he kissed along my neck. “You want me to show you something winning again? Is that it? You want to bask in your win and let me celebrate with you?”

  I didn’t know how to reply. I did want to bask in my win.

  It had been a big fucking win after all.

  After the meeting to figure out what to do with the fairies I was going to unfreeze, everyone had worked the next week and a half like crazy. And much to my shock, it had all gone well. Even Neldor hadn’t started shit and was busting his ass to get things going. We all agreed to get more in place before waking more up and that was the smarter move.

  We also handled the situation with the Calloway family and their stores. When one of the fae dogs reported in that the council decided to start with Katrina’s store and make a huge show of their mercy to help her after she went against them and told such lies… I acted first. With the help of crystals Iolas easily made, the stores were all recharged.

  My contribution was the large ice sculpture of Wile E. Coyote out in front of Katrina’s store to greet the councilmen when they arrived.

  Oh, and the supe media standing by that the councilmen didn’t know were there. They caught it all live when the councilmen ordered their guards to seize me without any reason, subdue me however they needed to without injuring my magic or killing me.

  But anything else was fine. Several of them said it exactly like that, live on camera, about a woman who did nothing wrong and wasn’t a witch. They also told them to hurry so they could declare me a witch.

  All of it for the whole supe world to see.

  And they also got to see how none of their esteemed and powerful elders could break the barrier of a twenty-year-old undeclared who was new to this world. I simply stood there and smirked as they tried and tried and tried.

  “You guys see a resemblance?” I had asked, gesturing to the statue. “Because I do. Too bad you don’t drop anvils on yourselves as well.”

  “Enough of this!” one had shouted. “You are a witch and will answer to us.”

  “No, I won’t. I wouldn’t even if I was a witch because you’re corrupt fuckers. And you can’t make me because you’re all frauds.” I’d winked at them and thumbed over my shoulder at the store. “And I took care of all the stores with the crystals I can make that are more powerful than yours. So the Calloways don’t need your help anymore. They can stay free of you taking them over. Your offer sucked.”

  Then I disappeared on all of them and watched as they chased their tails, the cameras catching it all. I had laughed for a while after watching the news and all the angles. It was a very public spanking.

  “It was fun,” I chuckled, turning to Julian. “I needed a win.”

  “You win more than you see,” he murmured, giving me a soft kiss. “I love you, Tamsin.” He wrapped his arms around me when I flinched. “I won’t leave. I won’t. I swear it to you, love.”

  “What did you want to ask me?” I deflected, snuggling against him.

  He sighed. “Now it would be crass. I want you back, love. For real.”

  I knew the real Julian did too, but I was curious what was going on with the one in my dreams. Or my subconscious really. “It came up first. What were you going ask?”

  He rolled us so I was staring up into his gorgeous emerald eyes. He studied me for several moments. “I’ve always wanted to know if there was a time you thought about doing something you haven’t with me before. That one time you were friendlier with my cock than normal and I thought, I wondered if maybe you were thinking of oral and it’s always killed me.”

  I frowned. My subconscious knew that answer. “Killed you? Why?”

  “Because I could have been your first, and it was one more thing I fucked all up.” He kissed away whatever scathing reply was on my lips and chuckled. “I want all parts of you. I know I was the first to truly make love to you. You wanted to give me your first time doing oral sex. I
wanted that. I was your first overnight. I want as many of your first and parts of you no one else has had I can get, love.”

  “Spoiled. You’ve always been spoiled,” I grumbled as I flipped over.

  He wasn’t deterred, spooning me and running his fingers along my thigh. “I love spoiling you too. You know it.”

  “Except when you left me,” I whispered, hating it still hurt so much. “This has to stop, Julian.”

  “No, no it doesn’t.”

  I bit back a sigh. Of course my mind said that. I was happy here with him. There was one week left to break and then I would stop this. “Yes.”

  “Yes? Yes, we can keep going?”

  I shook my head. “What you asked me before.”

  He took in a sharp breath before nibbling on my ear. “Were you going to lick me, love? Was my sweet fairy going to wrap her lips around my cock and suck me?”

  “Yeah, but I chickened out and now I’m glad I did.”

  But that was a lie. Even with the way things had all happened, I had thought many times that I wish I’d still done it with Craftsman, given him my first blow job.

  And maybe then he’d have stayed. It was stupid as I knew that had nothing to do with any of what happened and he wasn’t that shallow… But pain isn’t logical.

  “I can’t see your aura, but you don’t sound like that’s true,” he murmured. “I don’t deserve it, but I know you still love me. I’m selfish and want you to love me forever. I’ll deserve it and treat you as I should this time. Give me the chance, Tamsin.”

  I blinked at him. I didn’t believe that at all. I knew that.

  So why was he bringing this up? Why was my subconscious bringing this up?

  Was this my closure? I could have this moment, even in a dream? As crazy as that seemed… It made sense. Finding out about my family was nothing like how I’d hoped. I was disappointed with the fairy I’d gotten. My relationship with Julian had ended and crushed me.

  But this? Maybe I could have the first time I’d always wanted in my dreams. Maybe my mind was trying to give me something like I’d wanted.

  Fuck it.

  “I wanted to,” I confessed. “Even after you left me, I wished I’d given it to you. I wished…” I wasn’t going to admit I thought it might have made him stay. Even in my mind, saying that was too pathetic. “I want to here.”

  His shock was amusing given this was all in my head.

  I took advantage of it, flipping around so I was on top of him. I kissed all along his neck, knowing it was a hot spot for him too. Then I moved lower. I paid attention to his chest that was as muscular as always and down his abs that were more toned and defined than what I remembered.

  Apparently, I was a bit shallow and wanted him in better shape?

  Yeah, that was what I should focus on among all of this crazy.

  I kissed and licked his hip bones, loving when he did that to me. Then I nuzzled his groin the way Darby loved, wondering if Julian would like that too.

  Yes. The answer was a resounding yes.

  Well, my dream Julian did.

  “You don’t have to, love,” Julian whispered, swallowing loudly as if worried I might truly stop.

  I winked at him. “It’s just a dream, right?” I didn’t give him time to respond, licking the head but then freezing as if something big was going to happen. I mean, sure, he got harder, but like… Somewhere in my mind I had thought the moment I gave a blow job, I would be demeaned.

  Even in my dream I had expected that.

  I mentally snickered at myself and licked him again. I frowned before glancing at him. “You don’t taste like me, but we had sex.”

  He smirked at me. “I wouldn’t ever let you have something you might find distasteful, even in here.”

  Fair enough.

  I kept licking, smiling when he begged me for more. Oh, I might like this in real life if it drove men this crazy. I dipped my tongue in the slit as I pumped his cock, going faster when I could tell how much he liked it. Then I ran my tongue around the head before taking only that in my mouth.

  And I sucked as hard as I could on it while licking his slit, still pumping him faster and faster.

  “Coming!” he warned in next to no time.

  I was so shocked I simply kept going instead of worrying what happened next. It made sense he would finish fast in my dream so I didn’t have a difficult first time.

  He finished in my mouth and I hurried to swallow, not particularly fond of the taste but not thinking it gross. I doubted that would be true in real life.

  Then again, women did give oral sex often so… Maybe? Maybe it didn’t matter much if you cared for the guy?

  He moaned and then moved his hand to my cheek as he curled up a bit. “I need a moment, love. It’s supersensitive like you are after you orgasm.”

  I slowly pulled off of him with a pop and glanced down before smirking at him. “Oh, that could be a fun game.” I chuckled and stroked him when he gave me a confused look. “You always keep playing with me when I say I need a break.”

  In a flash, I was on my back. “Yes, yes, I do because I love watching you climax. You know that. Nothing is sexier than my sweet fairy finding pleasure and gasping my name, crying it out if I’m lucky.” He kissed my deeply, not caring what I’d just swallowed. “That was everything, love. Gods that was the best I’ve ever had. By far. Did you hate it?”

  “No, not at all,” I mumbled, staring up at him and thinking this was the closure I’d needed. Hopefully. “Make love to me?”

  His eyes flashed shock but then he smiled. “Always. I’ll always make love to you because I love you with all of me, Tamsin Vale.”

  I just wished I believe the real Julian the way I believed the dream one in that moment. We made love twice and when it was over, I tried to convince myself that I could now close the chapter on him and move on.

  I needed to move on and keep my sanity.

  Because all I wanted was to forgive him and have him with me again.

  And that was insanity after what he’d done to me.

  I woke that morning feeling sated, as if sex dreams could give me relief in real life.

  Well, that would be nice. I was never that lucky though.

  Before I changed my mind and caved, I grabbed my phone and texted White, asking her how sleep draughts worked and how hard would it be to get some that didn’t let me dream. It killed me to do it, but I needed to. I had millions of fairies relying on me to stay focused and keep my head.

  And that meant it was time to move on.

  Maybe after I run several miles and get a nice breakfast.

  Sure, that was how life worked.

  I rolled out of bed, sighing that I was still alone in it, and changed. I was mostly okay with Lucca and Darby again, but… Hesitant. That seemed to be most of our relationship but, well, I couldn’t help how I felt when they hurt me.

  Maybe they could stop doing it and we wouldn’t have any problems.

  Iolas was already in the gym and I simply gave him a nod before hopping on a treadmill. Things were strained between us after he told me what Katrina had insisted he needed to.

  Namely, he’d been madly in love with my mother.

  Yeah, that wasn’t weird for me.

  At. All.

  So he was grieving the loss of my mother. They had been childhood friends and apparently, my mother had felt some puppy love feelings for him that she’d grown out of, but Iolas had felt more, even if she wasn’t his mate.

  Which made him the wrong person to ask about my father like ever. I left the pin in all of that since I had enough to deal with.

  But how had Katrina known that?

  Iolas had been a decent enough guy to admit he was in love with someone else when they’d had their few flings. Katrina supposedly hadn’t minded as he’d healed some of her hurt after she’d been heartbroken, and she had comforted him as well from all his heartache.

  That was about as much as I could hear about it all. Talkin
g much about his love for my mother who I didn’t know—and didn’t respect since she sold me—and had fucked up by giving me the life she did, wasn’t something I wanted to do.

  Ever.

  Though he did get a few breadcrumbs of trust from me given he wasn’t pushing taking over my sword training. And clearly, there was a lot he wanted to talk to me about, fill me in on, but wasn’t pushing. I think he respected my position that the past was the past and while I’d need to hear it one day, it wasn’t as important as right now.

  And right now we had serious fucking problems.

  He finished before I did and it was nice to have my gym alone for the last three miles and cooldown stretches. My stomach growled loudly and I was more than ready for breakfast after pushing my workout.

  The kitchen was pretty much packed already, Izzy coordinating whatever place we were tasting the menu of and enjoying the fun. Craftsman and Marshall looked barely awake, both probably working on projects until late.

  Which meant more coffee. I headed right for the French press Mel had bought for such times and pulled it out of the cabinet. The kitchen was free of hobgoblins, so I assumed they were handling everything at the hotels like their usual now. I honestly couldn’t keep track of it all.

  “Morning, love,” Craftsman muttered, trapping me against the counter and lowering his head to mine.

  I froze, too shocked to stop the kiss.

  Tension shot up in the kitchen to levels even I was drowning in.

  “What are you doing?” I breathed when he leaned away.

  He gave me a sleepy grin. “We’re still doing this, huh?” He did a double take and seemed to only realize who else was there. “Right. They don’t know.”

  “Know what?”

  He sighed. “I didn’t mean to say anything before you were ready, but no hiding it now.”

  “Hiding…” I couldn’t breathe when he gave me a look not to be silly. My barrier went up without even meaning to and he went flying across the kitchen, one of the fairies catching him with magic before he crashed through the terrace doors. “It was real!”