by Nicola Marsh
She chuckled. ‘I meant the rest. The dating. The gigs. The dinners.’
‘Yeah, we were good together.’ The admission came out of nowhere. Tash had hurt him badly when she’d walked away from him, and it had taken him a long time to get over it. He’d thrown himself into a party lifestyle in LA, sleeping with women the antithesis of her in order to move on, and writing a stack of ballads filled with heartbreak and bitterness. But he couldn’t hold onto the past, not when a product of their relationship sat in the next room playing a song he’d taught her earlier tonight.
‘I miss us …’
At first he thought he’d imagined it, but then Tash rushed on, ‘Don’t listen to me. Alcohol makes me maudlin, which is why I rarely drink these days.’
Kody wanted to say, ‘I miss us too’ but he didn’t want this conversation heading down a track of reminiscing and false promises. Because he couldn’t give Tash anything beyond being a father to Isla, no matter how much a small part of him yearned otherwise.
‘See you in the morning,’ he said, hanging up before he changed his mind and blurted exactly how much he wished things were different between them.
CHAPTER
31
Jane always hibernated when life got too much for her. Back in high school, after she’d driven Ruby out of Brockenridge on the night of the graduation ball, she’d spent a week holed up in her room, listening to music and bingeing on chocolate. Gladys hadn’t cared. She’d only checked on her once in that time to warn her against consuming too much sugar because her skin and hips would bear the brunt. Because heaven forbid any child of perfect Gladys Jefferson spoil her appearance.
These days, she wallowed in peace. Any time her self-esteem took a hit, usually after hooking up with the wrong guy, she’d hide away at home with a well-stocked freezer of ice-cream and as many rom-coms as she could physically watch in a day—or three.
After that disastrous kiss with Mason she’d stopped at the supermarket on the way home and stocked up on ice-cream and family-sized chocolate blocks. Now, with her favourite rom-com of all time, Notting Hill, ready to roll, she pulled a fleece throw rug over her legs and cradled a bowl of strawberry swirl. However, she’d barely swallowed her first spoonful of ice-cream when her doorbell rang.
She ignored it. What was the point of hibernating if you answered the door? But it rang again, several times. Then she heard Mason’s booming voice.
‘I know you’re home, Jane, and I’m not going away until you open the door.’
Damn it. She could ignore him but she didn’t want their first meeting after the kiss to be at the bakery with contractors looking on.
Calling him unsavoury names under her breath, she stomped to the door and opened it a fraction. ‘I’m busy.’
‘It’s four o’clock and you’re in your pyjamas.’
‘I’m tired,’ she said, angling her body behind the door. The most important part of hibernating was lounging around in the oldest pair of PJs she owned, which happened to be covered in emojis.
‘Okay.’ He didn’t sound convinced, but worse—he didn’t budge. ‘Can I come in?’
‘No. I’m not dressed for company.’
‘I can see that.’ He grinned, as his gaze dropped to her visible pyjama sleeve. ‘Is that poop emoji reserved for me?’
Damn him for pulling out the big guns. She’d always been a sucker for a sense of humour.
‘What do you want?’
‘To clear up a misconception,’ he said, leaning closer. ‘And unless you want your neighbours hearing all the reasons why I’d never kiss you out of pity, you better let me in.’
She didn’t want to have this conversation. She wanted to wallow for an evening then front up at the bakery to get started on the interior design and pretend that kiss, and her over-the-top reaction, never happened. She’d expected him to do the same; what man wanted to rehash anything remotely connected to emotions? Though considering his occupation, maybe Mason was more in touch with his sensitive side than she wanted him to be.
‘Fine,’ she said, swinging the door open and letting him in. ‘But you’re interrupting my movie.’
‘What are you watching?’
‘Notting Hill.’
She expected him to scoff but to her surprise, his eyes lit up. ‘I love Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant in that.’
‘Now you’re just sucking up,’ she said, trudging into the lounge room ahead of him.
‘No, I’m being honest,’ he said, taking her arm and swinging her around to face him. ‘Just like I’m being honest when I say I kissed you out of many things, and pity wasn’t one of them.’
She shrugged. ‘Whatever.’
‘I mean it, Jane.’ He lifted his other hand so he held both her arms, not giving her much room to move let alone look anywhere but directly at him. ‘I like you. And I kissed you because I like you. That’s it.’ An embarrassed flush crept into his cheeks. ‘I probably shouldn’t have because we’re sort of working together and I don’t want to mess with that. But you’re nothing like I remembered in high school and I feel like an idiot for judging you without getting to know the real you. You’re sweet and sexy and I want to get to know you better.’
What could a girl in hibernation say to that, other than, ‘Do you want ice-cream while we watch the movie?’
‘Hell, yeah.’ He placed an all-too-brief kiss on her lips. ‘You sure it’s okay if I stay?’
‘Shut up and press play on the remote,’ she said, slipping out of his grasp before she did something foolish, like drag him into her bedroom instead.
She’d always been a sucker for sweet talk and while she didn’t think Mason was doing a number on her, she didn’t trust her judgement these days; she’d been burned too many times. In trying to upset her mother, she’d done herself a disservice. She wanted to be adored, to have a guy accept her, faults and all, and the more time she spent in Mason’s company the more she wondered if he could be that guy. But she couldn’t overthink it. He’d come here to set the record straight and to make sure she was all right. He liked her. That kiss hadn’t been about pity. For now, that would have to do.
‘I want a triple scoop,’ he called from the lounge room and when she glanced over her shoulder, he’d slipped off his shoes and was wrapped up in half of the throw rug.
After filling a bowl with ice-cream—and adding a fourth scoop because he’d wormed his way into her heart a little with his declaration—she padded back into the lounge room. Acutely aware of her attire, but not wanting to give him the satisfaction of changing, she sat on the opposite end of the couch.
‘Thanks,’ he said, glancing into the bowl she handed him. ‘I must be back in your good books if you gave me an extra scoop.’
‘Just finishing off the container.’
‘Whatever works.’ He brandished the remote. ‘Ready to start?’
Jane nodded and picked up her bowl. It had turned to sludge, but she didn’t mind. It felt nice to have company while she watched her favourite movie and as the familiar tune signalling the opening scene filtered through the room, she snuck a peek at him.
His gaze was glued to the TV as he spooned ice-cream into his mouth and a funny ache resembling indigestion filled her chest. What would it be like to have a guy like Mason in her life on a permanent basis? A good guy, who appreciated the finer things like ice-cream and romantic comedies and chilling in your PJs for the hell of it?
She’d never watched a chick flick in her home with a guy before. The men she’d chosen had been too transient, too shallow, not the type she’d let into her life. But seeing Mason curled up on her couch with the throw rug draped over his legs gave her hope.
Could they have a future if she let her guard down?
‘You’re not watching the movie,’ he said, without shifting his gaze from the screen.
‘That’s because I’ve seen it a hundred times and it’s more fun watching you demolish ice-cream.’
‘It’s rude to stare,’ he said,
shooting her a quick wink. ‘Especially when a guy’s got a sweet tooth.’
‘Do you really want to watch this movie?’
‘I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t. Can we watch or are you one of those annoying people who have to chatter through a movie?’
‘Just watch,’ she muttered, and they did exactly that. For the two hours she pretended to watch the screen, acutely aware of his feet a few inches away from hers beneath the rug, of his booming laughter when Hugh Grant’s roommate posed in his underwear for the paparazzi, of the way his breathing mellowed during the romantic reunion at the end.
She may have loved having someone to share her favourite movie with but it was torturing her to be this close to a hot guy and not jump him. She wanted to, there was no question. But she didn’t want to fall into old habits, thinking sex equated with affection. This time had to be different. No use reinventing herself in other aspects of her life only to fail at this.
When the closing credits rolled, he switched off the movie and turned to face her. ‘So what’s next? A mani-pedi? Braiding each other’s hair? Playing truth or dare?’
‘Time for you to leave.’ She laughed as she pointed at the door. ‘Because I have a feeling you’re dissing my girly time.’
‘No dissing here.’ He held up his hands. ‘Though if I sit under this blanket with you for one second longer and you don’t make a move on me, I’ll start to seriously question my manliness.’
Her heart ka-thumped at the thought of exactly how she could make a move on him. Her skin flushed with anticipation. But she wouldn’t, no matter how much she wanted to throw caution to the wind and do exactly that.
‘Can’t two people watch a movie without making out at the end?’ She managed to sound calm when inside she was anything but.
‘I don’t know. But if the two people you’re referring to is you and me, I’ll say no.’ He snaked a hand under the rug and snagged her foot. She gasped as he tugged it onto his lap and started kneading it, hitting all the right pressure points with his powerful thumbs.
‘You don’t play fair,’ she murmured, unable to stifle a groan as he dug into her heel. ‘Wow, you’re good at that.’
‘I’m good at lots of things.’ He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.
‘Haven’t you heard that self-praise is no recommendation?’
He grinned. ‘That’s one of my mum’s favourite sayings.’
‘I know.’ She grinned back at him, trying to keep things lighthearted and not imagine what he could do with those magical hands on other parts of her body.
‘Give me your other foot,’ he said, and she did as she was told, letting her head loll back on the couch a little as he turned her body to mush under his ministrations.
She might’ve dozed off, or she might’ve been in a pleasure stupor, but when he stopped it took her a few seconds to come back down to earth.
‘Hey, are you awake?’
‘Mmm,’ she mumbled, blinking several times and stretching. ‘That was … something else.’
They locked gazes and she could’ve sworn the air sizzled between them.
‘Jane, I—’
‘You give the best foot rubs on the planet but you have to go,’ she said, her resistance wavering the longer he stared at her with desire in his eyes.
‘Why?’
She could’ve lied or come up with some flimsy excuse but what was the point? If she wanted to do things differently with Mason, it was time to come clean.
‘Because I like you too and I’m sick of mistaking lust for something more.’
His eyes widened at her bluntness, but before he could say anything she continued, ‘That doesn’t mean I sleep around, but a lot of my behaviour in the past has been fuelled by poor judgement and I don’t want to be that person anymore. And don’t worry, I’m not saying I see us having a full-blown relationship and living happily ever after, but whatever this is, I don’t want to rush into anything.’
She blew out a breath and flopped back on the couch, suddenly weary. She’d never been so honest with a guy before and, going by Mason’s edginess, maybe she should’ve kept all that to herself.
When he cleared his throat, she braced for his response.
‘I’m okay with taking it slow,’ he said, throwing off the rug, slipping his shoes on and standing. ‘I’ve waited long enough.’
With that cryptic comment, he dropped a quick kiss on her lips and let himself out, leaving her wondering if he’d had a crush on her since high school or if he meant something else entirely.
CHAPTER
32
By the time Tash made it to Kody’s the next morning, bleary-eyed and needing the loo yet again after drinking litres of water first thing, he’d already got Isla onto the school bus and had her things packed and waiting at the back door.
‘Fancy a coffee?’
‘You’re talking too loud,’ she muttered, taking careful steps into his kitchen. Any sudden movement could be her downfall considering Rock Hard Place and every other band in the world had taken up residence in her head and were having one giant jam session.
‘Coffee it is,’ he said, his smug grin making her want to grab Isla’s bag and run.
‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ She made it to the toilet and splashed water on her face after she washed her hands. She felt a little more human as she returned to the kitchen, where Kody had coffee waiting.
‘Do you fancy a hangover breakfast? A big fry-up with bacon, eggs, the works?’
Her stomach churned and she pressed a hand to it.
‘I’m guessing that’s a no.’ He chuckled and took her coffee over to the dining table. ‘Come and sit, get this into you.’
‘Thanks,’ she said, taking a sip of the powerful espresso and savouring the caffeine hit. ‘You were right. The water trick didn’t work.’
He laughed and she winced. ‘Still too loud.’
‘You are such a two-pot screamer,’ he said, sipping his coffee and eyeing her with amusement over the rim of his mug. ‘But as long as you had a good time.’
‘Yeah, we did. Thanks for looking after Isla.’
‘My pleasure. She’s a fast learner on the guitar.’
‘Takes after her dad.’ She managed a tentative smile and in that shared moment of mutual affection, she wished it could be like this all the time. That they’d never need to have a difficult conversation, that they’d never have to resolve custody issues guaranteed to tear them apart all over again.
‘On that note, I wanted to ask you if it’s okay I buy her a guitar? I’d like to surprise her with it.’
‘That’s a great idea. She’ll love it.’
Isla had been babbling about how cool it was to learn guitar from someone as famous as her dad so she’d be over the moon. Tash was genuinely pleased for their daughter, but a small part of her couldn’t deny a sliver of fear that this would be the first of many amazing gifts Kody could afford to give Isla that Tash could never match.
‘There’s a great place online that stocks the best in Melbourne, so I’ll put in an order and get it delivered.’
‘Okay.’ Tash had no intention of bringing up the topic of him playing at the blues night, but Ruby had bugged her about it again this morning and Kody mentioning the guitar gave her the perfect in. ‘Speaking of guitars, have you given any more thought to Ruby’s request?’
A shadow passed over his face, dark and foreboding, but he didn’t shut down as she expected. ‘I have.’
‘And?’ She held her breath, waiting for the inevitable refusal.
‘I meant it when I said I’d like to take a look at the roadhouse without a lot of people around.’
‘Really?’ She exhaled in relief.
He nodded, a small frown creasing his brow. ‘Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about the band and what effect this is having on them. I’ve needed this time to work through some stuff but I can’t hide out here forever and if I’m to have any chance of getting back on stage, maybe I should
start small and see how I go.’
‘That’s great. But have you thought about the implications? If you perform at the blues night, word will get out and media will descend on the town like a plague of locusts.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ He pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘It’s not fair bringing all that down on Brockenridge but the last thing I want is to freeze on stage in front of thousands, and that’s a real possibility. This way, I can ease back into it and if I make a fool of myself, so be it.’
He shrugged like it meant nothing but she knew Kody, knew how much he’d dreamed of taking centre stage his entire life, knew it would kill him to have to step aside from the band and let his mates down.
‘How about I arrange to take you to the roadhouse after hours? That way you can get a feel for the place, maybe bring your guitar along, see how you go being on a stage without an audience?’
‘That sounds good. Can you make it happen?’
She nodded, unable to quell the worry that she’d pushed him into making a decision about his future when he may not be ready for it. ‘I’ll speak to Ruby and set something up.’
‘The sooner the better, I think. Before I lose my nerve.’
‘Would tomorrow night be too soon?’
He stiffened, almost imperceptibly, but she’d once known this guy better than she knew herself and the way his shoulders bunched beneath his worn navy T-shirt told her exactly how nervous he was.
‘That’ll be fine.’ He looked her straight in the eye. ‘Even if tomorrow night goes okay, I’ll only agree to do the performance on one condition.’
‘What’s that?’
‘That you consider following your dream.’
Bemused, and wondering if too much alcohol had made her incapable of comprehending the basics, she said, ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Your nursing degree.’ Tash had no idea where this was coming from but before she could ask, he said, ‘You’ve pushed me out of my comfort zone the last few weeks, making me confront my fears, and now I’m doing the same for you.’