Bane (Angel's Rebellion MC: #7)

by Jeneveir Evans

  “He laughs at me and mocks me saying I don’t even know my own father’s name, that it’s probably a good thing, because for Mom to keep that knowledge from me, he has to be a pretty bad person. He asks me how I know I won’t turn out like that.

  “He tells me I’m the bane of Mom’s existence. That if it wasn't for having to raise two bastards then her life would have been so much better. It goes on and on. I can’t be a dad. I just can’t be a dad. I’m asking y’all to help me. I need to get away. I need to see if I can ever come to terms with this and I can’t do that here. Please, will y’all help me?” I begged.

  It didn’t matter anymore. My body was splayed flat out on a ledge, if I went over that ledge, I’d be no more. I almost wished I could roll off the edge. It would be so much easier if I could.

  ~*~

  Mad Dog

  I felt sick hearing what he was mentally taunted with. I’d known when Eagle had first told me some of this shit, that there was more to it. I should have pushed, however, I’d been scared of what it might do to Bane. Fuck, I should have pushed. Deb owed him some answers and by God, she was giving them to him too.

  “Bane, is that how you picked your fucking name?”

  He shrugged. “It seemed apt.”

  “God damn, Bane,” I muttered and drew in a deep breath. I hated what I was going to ask next.

  “Bane, you’re not planning on killing yourself are you?”

  More harsh laughter rang out.

  “No. Although not gonna lie to you, I seriously thought about it, but I made a promise to Eagle that I wouldn’t do that. I’ve already broken one promise to him. I won’t ever break another one.”

  I felt a little bit of relief hearing that, yet I knew if his demon dragged him far enough down the well, he could very likely drown.

  “Bane, would you consider going to a hospital?” I asked him.

  He stiffened up. “Not doing that, Prez. You can’t prove I’m suicidal and I won't voluntarily commit myself. I just need to get away from here. I need to give Eagle and Kenzie time.”

  “Time for what, Bane?” Viper looked at me, I could tell he already knew my answer.

  “Time for them to become a couple.”

  “This really what you want, Bane?” I shook my head as I asked him this. It went against everything inside of me to send a Brother off who was hurting like this. Yet if I didn’t help him, he was going anyway and he wouldn’t have anyone at his back.

  “Yeah, Prez, Vip. Can I do this without losing my cut? One day I hope I can quiet the demon so I’ll be able to come back.”

  I looked over at Viper and he nodded.

  “Alright, Bane. Give me thirty minutes and I want you back down here.”

  “Okay, Prez,” he replied. He stood up and walked out the door. His body stiff, like he was trying hard not to fall apart.

  “Fuck, Vip. What do I do?” I looked at him, hoping for some of his wisdom. My mind was in turmoil, this was my cousin, my family and I was at a serious loss here. The only thing that was on my mind was how we had all failed him.

  “You got to let him go, Dog. He’s going anyway. At least we can discreetly keep an eye on him if you know of somewhere he can go. As bad as I hate saying this, he’s got to fight this himself. We can’t help him. He has to find his own answers.”

  I looked at Viper, I could tell something was bothering him.

  “What?”

  “Boy deserves some answers from his mom.”

  “Yeah, I was thinking that too.”

  “Get her down here, let’s let her know what’s going on.”

  I nodded. I agreed with him. I dialed Deb’s number.

  “Hello.”

  “Deb, you busy?”

  “Dog, is that you?”

  “Yeah. Is Brax home?”

  “He is, what’s going on?”

  “I need you to come to my office now.”

  “Dog, is everything okay?”

  “My office, Deb. Now.”

  “Okay.”

  Once again, Viper and I sat silently sipping our beers as we waited. Ten minutes later Deb stepped into the doorway.

  “Come inside, Deb, and shut the door behind you.”

  She looked at me hesitantly after closing the door. I nodded toward the chair.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?” she questioned. She looked puzzled. I was afraid she wasn’t going to look like that long.

  “Got something I need to tell you.”

  For the next ten minutes I told her everything that had been going on with Bane, even down to how he picked his name. By the time I was through, she was crying.

  “I didn’t know any of this was going on,” she sobbed.

  “Do you realize when I asked him if he was suicidal he told me he had promised Eagle he wouldn’t do that. Deb, that means the boy must have thought about it, maybe even attempted it, something had to have happened for Eagle to be worried enough to get Bane to make that kind of promise to him.”

  I let what I said sink in before I broached the subject I had called her down here for.

  “You owe him something, Deb.”

  “What?” she sniffed.

  “You owe the boy the truth about his dad.”

  I watched her tighten up. “I can’t do that, Dog.”

  “You disappoint me, Deb. I thought you cared more for your son than that.”

  “Don’t you dare tell me that I don’t care about my son. I haven’t ever told him to keep him from being hurt.”

  “Doesn’t look like that’s working, Deb. Even if the news is bad, I think it would be better for Bane to know the truth. Maybe that will help him resolve some of the shit that is constantly flying through his head.”

  I took another drink of beer.

  “Deb, he asked to go nomad. I’m granting his request.”

  She gasped at me. “Dog, he needs to be around family.”

  “Look what family’s got him so far. Nothing. Not a single fucking one of us knew how tormented that boy has been, including you, Deb. I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but you owe him that right. You owe, Bane.”

  “He needs a hospital, Dog.”

  “There’s no way you can put him in a hospital. He’s smart enough to not answer any question that would keep him in a place like that. He’s an adult, Deb. Unless he commits himself voluntarily, you cannot force him to go and none of us can prove he is a danger to himself.”

  I picked my phone up, punched in a number and waited for the call to be answered.

  “Dog, you old fuck. How the hell you doing?”

  “Doing good. Spyder, got a situation I was wondering if you can help me out with?”

  “What’s that, Brother,” Spyder's voice reflected the seriousness of my tone.

  “Got a Brother, he’s actually one of my young cousins, been a member for eight years. I missed some shit, hell, my whole fucking family missed some shit. Boy’s got some demons riding his back. Has asked to go nomad, says he needs to get away for a while. Was wondering…”

  “You don’t have to say anything else, send him my way, Dog. He can stay as long as he needs.”

  “I’ll make sure you get some money for his upkeep.”

  “Wouldn’t hear of it. ARMC was there for me when our club was in a major bind. Your club gave up a part of itself to help us out. This is the very least I could do. I’ll never be able to repay the debt that is owed to your club. Dog, do I need to worry about…”

  “He says not, Brother. Personally, not so sure about that.”

  “We’ll watch him.”

  “It will take him a day or so to get there. He goes by Bane.”

  “Alright, Dog. We’ll be looking out for him.”

  “I owe you one, Spyder.”

  “Nah, Dog. Like I said, I’ll never be able to pay back what we owe as it is.”

  “Keep me posted on how he’s doing.”

  “Will do.”

  I hung up the phone.

&nb
sp; “You’re really going to let him go, aren’t you,” Deb accused me.

  “Deb, you rather lose your son? You rather be burying him?”

  “No,” she cried out. “God, no.”

  “Then Deb, think you really need to tell Bane the truth.”

  A knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” I called out.

  Bane opened the door and took a step forward. He paused when he saw his mom, then looked at me angrily.

  “Stop it, Bane. Didn’t ask her here to try to get you to stay. Already got you somewhere to go set up for you.”

  He stood in the doorway like he couldn’t decide if he was going to come in or not.

  “Come in and take a seat, Bane. Your mom has something to tell you.”

  He looked at me grimly, nodded, then took a seat. He didn’t say a thing. I looked at Deb and she sighed.

  “Dog’s told me what’s been going on with you. Why didn’t you ever come talk to me about this?”

  “What for, Mom? I’ve asked you a hundred times to tell me about my dad and you refused.”

  “We could have carried you to a doctor…”

  “Fuck that and fuck you,” he growled. “I’m sorry, Mom. But you aren’t going to toss this shit at me like I’m crazy. Like it’s all my fault. All my life I just wanted to know the story, you were the one who refused to tell me.”

  “I was protecting you, Bane.”

  “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t need protecting. That maybe knowing the answers to my questions wouldn’t constantly have a fucking demon in my head suggesting shit all the time. Telling me garbage, spewing vile, hateful things at me? Did you ever stop and think about that, Mom?”

  I watched as Deb’s face turned white.

  “No, Bane. I didn’t stop to think about that.”

  ~*~

  Bane

  I almost walked away when I saw Mom sitting in Dog’s office. I didn’t want her dragged into this. I had been going to leave and let her know later that I was gone. After listening to Dog tell me he had somewhere for me to go, I felt relief knowing that soon I could head out.

  I listened as Mom said that Dog had told her what was going on, then she asked me why I hadn’t ever talked to her about that. Hell, that was fucking rich. I had asked her tons of times to tell me about my dad. She refused every single fucking time.

  An anger that I hadn’t known I was harboring toward Mom caused me to snap out at her, “What for, Mom? I’ve asked you a hundred times to tell me about my dad and you refused.”

  Hearing her say she would have taken me to a doctor to fix this shit just pissed me the hell off. Not even stopping to consider how rude and disrespectful I was being to my Mom, I growled at her ugly vicious things that I would never normally say to her. Right now, I wasn’t really sure I cared. If she’d only told me when I’d asked her about my dad, maybe I would have been able to fight this shit. Maybe the demon wouldn’t have taken such a hold on me. A hold I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to break.

  I watched as Mom’s face turned white. She didn’t deserve this. Seeing the expression on her face as my terrible comments spewed out of my mouth, I felt a small twinge knowing I was hurting her, yet I couldn’t seem to stop. I think too many years of pent up anger had decided to spill over.

  I was at a point that I just needed answers. I needed to have all the information so maybe somehow, someway, I might find a way to make peace with all of it.

  I looked at her and asked her for the last time.

  “Tell me about my dad.”

  She started to shake her head and I stood up.

  “Text me the address where I’m going, Dog. Thank you both for your help.”

  “Alright, Bane. I’ll tell you,” I heard Mom say quietly.

  I sat back down and waited for Mom to tell me what I’d been wanting to know my entire life.

  “I want to hear all of it, Mom.”

  She sighed then nodded.

  “I met Ryker the first day we arrived at Sturgis.”

  “Wait, my dad’s name is Ryker?”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  Finally, after years of wondering I had his name.

  “I was in a bar when he and several others from his club came in. He walked in the door and looked around. His eyes met mine, he walked over to me and from that moment on I spent the rest of the trip with him.”

  “What was he like?” I wanted to know more about what type of man he was.

  “He had this larger than life personality. Just like you have, Bane.” Mom smiled sadly. “You look just like him, Leigh too.”

  She looked at Dog and asked, “Can I have a beer?”

  Dog grabbed one out of the fridge and handed it over to her. She screwed off the top and took a long drink.

  “Bane, I had a blast with him. We did everything together. He concentrated only on me. I felt like he didn’t see anyone but me. I felt on top of the world. I stayed with him at their camp. The only other women there were club girls and girls the men picked up like Ryker had me.

  “I started falling hard for him during those two weeks. If he had asked me to go with him, I would have. He didn’t ask. I told myself that I had been foolish to think he would. I was just another girl at another Sturgis for him.

  “I came home and found out I was pregnant with you. While I knew where he was from, I didn’t have any way of contacting him. When it came time for the rally again, I almost didn’t go, then I thought maybe I would see him and I could tell him about you. He had the right to know.

  “I went back to the same bar I had met him in and it was just like the first time he showed up. When his eyes saw me, they lit up. I decided to wait a couple days before I told him about you. I don’t know why I waited, I just did. The third morning someone came into our tent and threw something at me. It woke me up and a woman was standing in front of me. She had thrown my clothes at me.

  “She told me I needed to get dressed and get out of her tent. I asked her what she meant and she turned around. She was wearing a Property of Ryker cut. I was devastated. She went on to tell me that I was just another random hookup for him. He had them all the time. She said she hoped I was on some kind of birth control because she knew he hated to use rubbers.

  “She continued on to say that she hoped I wasn’t the type to deliberately try to get pregnant to get a biker. That it wouldn’t work with Ryker, he didn’t want kids. She said he’d made her get three abortions. I was in shock and horrified at what she told me. She left the tent, I got dressed and went outside.

  “Ryker was by the fire, he had his arm around her shoulders. I looked at him, he returned my gaze and grimaced. He turned to one of his Brothers and asked the guy to give me a ride back to town. That was the last I saw of him.”

  Well, I had some of my answers. I still wasn’t satisfied, yet I now knew why Mom refused to tell me what had happened earlier. She truly thought she was protecting me by keeping that news from me. If she had told me, I think I could have accepted it and managed to go on.

  Now, I had to figure out a lot of shit and I couldn’t do it here. One thing kept flying through my thoughts, I knew better than anyone that people lied to stop something from happening. Who was to say this woman had told Mom the truth?

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Mom. I wish you had told me years ago, although I’m glad you finally decided to tell me.”

  I watched Mom look at Dog and realized that Dog had pretty much laid down the law to her. Even though Mom wasn’t technically associated with the club, she’d always had a club mentality. I looked at Dog and Viper.

  “You still want to go?” Dog asked.

  “Yeah, Dog. I have to. I have to figure out my life if I can. I can’t do that here.”

  I watched as he pulled out his phone and started texting. Mine pinged and I opened it up. I looked at him and lifted my chin.

  “You need to take that cut off and put it in your saddle bags, Bane. Other clubs won’t take kindly to you wearin
g it through their territory.”

  “Will do, Prez.” I still felt numb, yet something inside me was letting me know this was the right decision for me.

  I know what I had done to Kenzie was unforgivable and that I’d have to live with it the rest of my life. The pain I felt knowing how bad I hurt her was already eating me alive.

  Oddly enough, the fucking demon was quiet. I guess he got what he wanted and was going to be satisfied for awhile.

  I looked at Mom. “One last question, Mom. What MC was Ryker a member of?”

  I thought at first she was going to refuse to tell me, then her shoulders slumped.

  “Hell’s Retribution MC, South Dakota chapter.”

  I glanced at Dog to see him staring at me. He sighed and shook his head. Of all the ironies, I was heading to Inferno’s Apocalypse MC out of Minnesota. Their clubhouse wasn’t far from the South Dakota border. I was going to be less than one hundred and fifty miles from where my sperm donor’s club was.

  I took three letters out of the inside pocket of my cut and handed them to Dog.

  “One of those is yours, could you give the others to Eagle for me?” I asked huskily. I was barely hanging on. I needed to go.

  I had to leave before Eagle made it back to the club. He would do his best to talk me out of going. What he couldn’t understand, what I’m sure no one would never understand, is that I had to do this. If not, I wasn’t sure I’d survive the fallout. Hell, I might not survive it anyway.

  “Prez, Vip, asking for a promise from the both of you. Don’t tell anyone where I went. I don’t need Eagle showing up and trying to drag me home.”

  “You have my word,” Dog replied.

  “And mine,” Viper added.

  “Are you going to find your father?” Mom asked me.

  “No, Mom. That’s not where I’m headed. I’m not going to say where I’m going.”

  I walked to the door, opened it and started to walk out. Dog’s orders stopped me.

  “Bane, text me weekly and call me once a month.”

  I looked back at my Prez and wondered if this would be the last time I ever saw him.

  “Will do, Prez. Later.”

  Then I walked out the door, grabbed my bags that I had sat on the floor outside of Dog’s office and made my way through the Great Room, not stopping to talk to anyone. Once at my bike, I strapped my saddlebags into place, took off my cut and put it in the bags, got on my bike, started it, pulled through the gate and hit the road. I had over six hundred and fifty miles to go before I could let myself fall apart. I fucking hoped I could make it before that happened. If not, not sure what would happen to me.