All My Secrets

by Sophie McKenzie

  My breath hitches in my throat as I realise what is moored just a few metres away in the shadowy depths of the cave. Deliberately hidden from view is the Aurora, the island’s missing boat.

  ‘Josh! Pepper! Look!’ In seconds, they stand beside me. I point into the cave.

  ‘How did that get there?’ Josh demands, his eyes wide with shock.

  ‘Well, it didn’t just drift,’ Pepper exclaims. ‘It’s been properly moored by someone who knew what they were doing.’

  ‘More to the point,’ I say, ‘if the boat that Samuel supposedly ran away in is here then where on earth is Samuel?’

  Twenty-seven

  The Aurora bobs about in the depths of the cave pool. Josh, Pepper and I stare at each other. Around us the wind is picking up, tearing through the nearby trees. The sea is louder too, the distant waves crashing onto the stony beach.

  ‘Samuel didn’t take the boat to the mainland,’ Josh says, his voice hollow.

  ‘Well, somebody moved the Aurora from the boathouse to here.’ Pepper frowns. ‘Do you think that was Samuel?’

  ‘No.’ My heart thuds. ‘That’s not what happened.’

  ‘No,’ Josh agrees. ‘Samuel wouldn’t muck about like that.’

  I glance at him, a terrifying thought hitting me like a brick. Could Josh himself have moved the boat? Or Pepper? Or Kit? I gulp. No. Josh saved my life yesterday. Anyway, he and Pepper are my friends. So are Kit and Anna. None of them would want to harm me. This must all be part of Mr Lomax’s plan.

  ‘The only possible explanation is that Lomax hurt Samuel because he found out Lomax wants to kill me, then Lomax put the boat here to make it look like Samuel took it.’

  ‘To cover up the fact that he’s hurt Samuel,’ Josh adds.

  ‘Just like my mum’s murder was covered up.’ My heart thuds.

  There’s a long pause. Each of us is lost in our own thoughts.

  ‘Samuel might be worse than hurt.’ Pepper digs her hands into her pockets. Her eyes are dark with fear.

  The wind whips across my face. Is she right? Is Samuel dead? Could Mr Lomax have killed him?

  I follow Josh’s gaze to the boat. ‘Do you think . . .?’ I can’t bring myself to ask the question: could Samuel’s body be hidden inside the boat.

  Josh’s face pales as he grasps my meaning.

  ‘I’m going to take a look,’ he says, his face grim. He pulls off his outer clothes and slides into the water. He swims across to the Aurora. My eyes have adjusted to the gloom enough to see that the boat’s engine has been carefully covered with a piece of tarpaulin. Pepper is right: whoever moored the boat knew what they were doing.

  ‘I think the boat’s been left here so that whoever stole it can leave the island at high tide,’ Pepper said, looking out to sea. ‘When the tide comes in, this beach is covered with water. You could sail the boat right out of the cave and off to sea.’

  ‘If you know how to handle a motorboat.’ As I speak, a new, terrible realization chills me. ‘Mr Bradley must be in on the whole thing,’ I say.

  Inside the cave pool, Josh reaches the boat and grips the sides with his hands.

  Pepper turns to me in horror. ‘You’re right. Bradley’s the expert on boats, plus, he’s the one who searched the boathouse and told everyone it was missing,’ she says. ‘Maybe Loonymax is paying him to carry out your murder. That would explain why he refused to listen to you earlier.’

  ‘And poor Samuel got in the way,’ I say. My throat tightens.

  Across the pool, Josh hauls himself out of the water far enough to see properly inside the Aurora.

  ‘The boat’s empty!’ His voice echoes around the cave.

  ‘I guess that’s something,’ Pepper says uneasily.

  I shake my head as Josh swims back to the cave entrance. Just because Samuel’s body isn’t inside the boat doesn’t mean he isn’t lying dead somewhere else on the island.

  I turn away from Pepper, tears pricking at my eyes. This is all my fault. By trying to find out the truth about Irina’s death, I’ve put not just myself but all my friends in terrible danger. I sink down onto the cold pebbles, consumed by guilt and fear.

  ‘Evie?’ Pepper gazes down at me, concern in her eyes. ‘Are you OK?’

  I shake my head as Josh races over. His outer clothes are back on, though he’s still shivering, hugging his arms around his chest. I look up at them both.

  ‘We need to get back to the house,’ he says.

  ‘But there’s no one we can trust,’ I say. ‘No one who can help us.’

  ‘What about Moncrieff and Buttockbreath?’ Pepper argues. ‘I think we should tell them everything.’

  ‘No.’ Josh and I speak together.

  ‘Why?’ Pepper demands.

  I stand up. ‘If Lomax is paying Bradley, he could be paying the others too,’ I explain.

  ‘Exactly,’ Josh adds. ‘I think we should keep quiet to all the staff about finding the Aurora.’

  ‘But tell Kit and Anna?’ I ask.

  He nods.

  ‘Then what?’ Pepper looks unconvinced.

  ‘We wait for the storm to pass, then get on the boat from the mainland when it arrives, just like we planned.’ Josh’s voice is clear and strong over the sound of the wind. ‘Once we’re away from the island, we can go to the police. Tell them everything.’

  ‘We have to look for Samuel first,’ Pepper says. ‘He must be somewhere on the island.’

  ‘Yes,’ I agree.

  ‘But we need to stick together,’ Josh adds. ‘No one on their own at any time. Especially Evie, it’s too risk—’

  The end of his sentence is drowned out by a huge clap of thunder. It makes all three of us jump.

  I peer out to sea. The waves are higher than earlier, their white edges curling and smashing against the navy water. The smudged grey lines on the horizon mean it’s raining hard out at sea.

  ‘That looks like a massive storm,’ Pepper says. ‘Coming directly for us.’

  ‘Which means no boat from the mainland today.’ My heart sinks. How on earth are we going to survive another twenty-four hours here?

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Josh says. ‘We’ll get through this.’

  I nod, but inside I don’t feel at all confident.

  We hurry back to the boathouse as the first fat drops of rain began to fall. Mr Bradley, Kit and Anna arrive just as we reach the pile of rubbish we collected earlier. Mr Bradley is brusque, ordering us straight back to the house – though he does comment that Josh, Pepper and I have done a good job tidying up.

  I try to catch Kit’s eye on the way back to the house. I want to tell him about finding the Aurora – and our plan to escape the island. But he avoids my gaze, striding on ahead with Mr Bradley. At least Pepper is walking arm in arm with Anna, whispering a warning in her ear.

  Why is Kit being so horrible? He got all cross this morning, then sneered when I tried to tell Mr Bradley my suspicions. Now he’s back to ignoring me, like he did when we first arrived on the island. I glance at Josh. He’s hurrying along the moorland beside me, hunched over against the rain. He senses me looking and smiles. It’s a lovely smile – not full-lipped and gleaming-toothed like Kit’s, but warm and friendly. Well, not just friendly . . . there’s something about the way his lips turn up in that slightly crooked way that is, if I’m honest . . .

  No, I’m not going to think that.

  We reach Lightsea House. I’m afraid Mr Bradley might ask about my suspicions again, but he doesn’t mention the conversation we had earlier, simply muttering something about checking the storm drains and disappearing around the corner.

  The rest of us go inside and take off our damp jackets and boots. Rain teems against the windows; low rumbles of thunder sound in the distance. As I shove my boots against the wall, Kit comes over.

  ‘Evie, can I talk to you?’

  I look into his hazel eyes. I expect his expression to register anger or maybe a repeat of his earlier scepticism. But all I see is misery. I
stare at him, feeling confused. But before I can say anything Mrs Moncrieff is bustling into the hall to tell us that lunch will be ready in twenty minutes.

  ‘We’re a bit behind, so I need Pepper, Josh and Kit in the kitchen,’ she says. ‘Now, please.’

  ‘Later,’ Kit mouths. I nod.

  ‘What about me and Evie?’ Anna asks.

  Mrs Moncrieff frowns. ‘I suggest you make sure that all the windows on the ground floor are properly fastened against the storm, then come into the kitchen yourselves for lunch.’

  She bustles off with Kit. Pepper follows them, grumbling loudly.

  ‘Stay with Anna,’ Josh says. He gives me an anxious look. ‘Don’t go anywhere by yourself. And don’t stay out here too long.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Anna says. ‘Miss Bunnock is outside with Mr Bradley. I just saw them through the window. We’ll be OK for a bit.’

  Josh nods, but still hesitates.

  ‘Go on,’ I urge him. ‘I’ll be along in a minute.’

  As Josh leaves, Anna gives a nervous cough. ‘Pepper told me about you finding the Aurora. I can’t believe it, I’m so worried about Samuel.’ Her face is pale. ‘I definitely want to come with you when you get off the island. If we haven’t found Samuel by then, we need to call his parents . . . and the police.’

  I glance out of the window. The trees are going berserk in the wind. ‘Good, but it’s not going to be today,’ I said. ‘There’s no way any boat will get through from the mainland in this weather.’ Panic rises inside me again. What on earth have Lomax and Bradley done with Samuel? How are we all going to stay safe until we escape?

  Anna clears her throat. ‘Er . . . Mrs Moncrieff said we should check the windows, remember?’ she stammers. ‘I know Josh said to stick together, but we’ll be faster if we split up.’

  I nod my agreement though, in truth, I’m hardly following what she’s saying. Properly fastened windows seem a very low priority right now.

  ‘Why don’t you do the windows in the two rooms closest to the kitchen, so you’re near the others?’ Anna suggests. ‘I’ll do the rest, then join you.’

  ‘Will you be OK?’ I ask.

  ‘Course I will,’ Anna says. ‘It’s you who needs to be careful.’

  She throws me a nervous smile, then scuttles away along the corridor. I hurry in the other direction. The two rooms nearest the kitchen are, for once, unlocked. I dart in and out of an old, unused dining room, complete with worn wood table and chairs that were once probably plush, but whose upholstery is now as faded and threadbare as one of Mr Lomax’s jumpers. I check all the windows are properly fastened, then move next door. This room looks like it was once some kind of parlour from, like, a hundred years ago, with two stiff-backed armchairs set on either side of an empty fireplace.

  ‘Evie?’

  I spin round.

  Kit’s is standing in the doorway, an expression of unbearable hurt on his face.

  ‘Hi,’ I say, immediately flustered. ‘Er, aren’t you supposed to be in the kitchen?’ Panic seizes me. Is it possible Kit is in on the whole plot to kill me after all?

  ‘I snuck out.’ Kit moves across the room until he is right in front of me.

  I back away, my heart racing.

  ‘I had to see you,’ he says. ‘I’m so sorry I was such an idiot earlier.’

  My mouth gapes. His expression is full of remorse. I’m certain he doesn’t mean me any harm. Relief washes over me as he reaches for my hand. I let him take it.

  ‘Josh just told me you found the Aurora which means something really weird is going on and no one knows where Samuel is, but obviously he hasn’t left the island so that’s bad and . . . and I shouldn’t have been so dismissive about it all earlier.’ He draws me closer and the blood pounds in my ears. ‘I was jealous,’ Kit goes on. ‘I can see you like Josh, and he’s cool and talented at music which you love, and all I can do is run fast and help win rugby matches, and I don’t know what you’d see in me because I’m useless at talking, especially about things that really matter – which you do, Evie, you really matter to me, but I’ve screwed everything up and did I say that I’m sorry for being an idiot?’

  He hugs me. I close my eyes, feeling safe for the first time in hours with his strong arms holding me tight. Kit’s face is centimetres from mine.

  ‘Please still be mine,’ he whispers.

  I reach up and let our kiss flow through me. For a moment, all I am is in that kiss, then we pull apart and the turmoil in my head surges up again.

  ‘I don’t know what else to say,’ Kit mumbles. ‘I hate myself for not knowing what to say. I’m just really, really sorry and—’

  ‘Shh.’ I put my finger on his lips. ‘I think you said it all very well.’

  ‘Do you?’ Kit’s face brightens. ‘So are we OK?’

  I think of Josh and his crooked smile and the way our lips brushed together after yesterday’s escape. And I think of Pepper’s question: Which of them do you like? Kit or Josh? And how I haven’t been sure about the answer. And then I look up into Kit’s beautiful, eager eyes, at the green flecks and the dark lashes. And I know that right now I want him just as much as I wanted Josh earlier.

  Which makes no sense.

  ‘We’re OK,’ I say.

  Kit beams, then kisses me swiftly again. ‘I’d better get back to the kitchen,’ he says. ‘And don’t worry. Lunch is in, like, ten minutes and after that I’m not letting you out of my sight.’

  He disappears. I turn back to the window and absently reach for the catch to check that it’s locked. Rain lashes against the glass. Somehow the storm outside reflects the turbulence inside my head. I gaze through the window across the scrubby grass to the patch of woodland beyond. The rain is thick, driving into the ground, the wind tearing through the trees. All of a sudden, a flash of red appears between the branches. I freeze. As I strain my eyes, desperate, a figure in a long black coat and a red hat darts onto the moorland. She spins around, head bowed, so I can’t see her face.

  It’s the ghost. Something dangles on ribbons from her outstretched hands. My chest constricts as I realise what she is holding, what she must have somehow taken from under my pillow:

  Irina’s ballet shoes.

  Twenty-eight

  For a few seconds, I watch, frozen to the spot, as Irina’s ghost dances from side to side in front of the distant trees. Her back is turned to the window and, thanks to the length of the black coat, I can’t make out her shape, but she moves elegantly, toes pointed, just like in the Giselle DVD.

  Rain pounds against the window and onto the grass outside. In front of the trees, the ghost rises up on tiptoes, arms outstretched, the ballet shoes swinging in the wind. She darts into the copse, running from one tree to the next. For a moment, she disappears and I lean forward, pressing my forehead against the cold glass, desperate for another glimpse. There. I can just see the red hat – and the twirling of a ballet shoe. She’s still there, between the trees.

  She is waiting for me, I’m sure of it.

  I turn and race across the room. Out into the corridor, along the hall. I grab my jacket – there isn’t time to put it on. Still wearing my thin pumps, I throw open the front door and pelt outside. The rain drives into my face, huge, fierce drops on my back and legs, the stone paving rough through my thin soles. I tear across the grass towards the trees where I saw the ghost. There’s no sign of her. My heart is in my mouth, all thoughts of Samuel’s disappearance and Mr Lomax’s plot against me buried deep inside, all my confused feelings about Josh and Kit forgotten.

  All I can think about is finding Irina’s ghost . . . finding my real mother at last.

  ‘Where are you?’ I dart into the trees. A flash of red to my left. I hurry after it, tugging on my jacket as I run. On through the woodland. I’m sheltered from the worst of the rain in here, but my feet are battered and bruised from the stones on the ground. I don’t dare stop.

  If I stop, she might think I don’t care enough to go after her.r />
  I follow the ghost blindly, through trees, across patches of scrub, round bushes. I lose all sense of where I am on the island. My feet are frozen lumps of ice on the ends of my legs. Every time I think I’ve lost her, she appears again, winding her way further and further away from the house.

  ‘Irina!’ I call. ‘Mum!’

  But she never turns around.

  On I run. I have no idea for how long. The ghost is always ahead of me. Uncatchable. I race through a thick clump of trees then all of a sudden burst out on to a wide expanse of rock.

  It’s wet from the rain and the spray that shoots up from the sea below. The ghost is here. Right in front of me. As I dart towards her, she slips. Falls. Two more steps and my feet in their slippery pumps give way too. I lose my balance and crash with a painful thud onto the hard stone. The ghost rises. I hurl myself at her. Push her down.

  My heart hammers, my throat is tight with fear.

  I can feel her arm through the black coat.

  This is no spirit.

  Panting, I force her to turn round. I stare and stare at her face.

  Not Irina. Not my long-lost, beautiful birth mother. Not a ghost at all.

  It’s Anna.

  I get up. She stands shivering, buffeted by the wind and the spray, the red hat soaked through, the dark coat flapping about her legs.

  I can’t believe it.

  Not Irina. Just a pale-faced, anxious-looking Anna. I’m still staring at her, my mind reeling, as she pulls off the hat, letting her soft curls tumble onto her shoulders. The rain hammers down. Neither of us speak. My hair is plastered to my face, my feet numb with cold, my clothes damp against my skin. The edge of the rock is a few metres away. The water below rages and crashes against vicious crags that poke up from the waves. Anyone who fell from here would either be dashed to death or swept out to sea in an instant. I have never been here before, but I recognise the place immediately from Lomax’s and Bradley’s descriptions.

  This is Easter Rock, the most dangerous place on Lightsea Island.

  This is where Irina died. This is where she was pushed into the sea.