No Forgiveness

by Helen Nickolson

  “They walked into a neighborhood coffee shop and took a little booth in the back as far away from other customers as possible. Elena didn’t believe him, but she loved him and allowed herself to be persuaded that she had misheard and misinterpreted what had taken place in his room. He repeatedly spoke of his love for her and she succumbed to his charm and expressions.

  “Let’s visit Greece this summer,” he suggested. “I’ll take you to my family’s house so that you can meet all of the relatives. They will welcome you and be happy for us. I’ll find someone to teach you Greek in the meantime, and that should make you more comfortable there. You know I love you and that you’re the only one for me.

  “She agreed to the plan and they went to speak to her parents once they returned to the house. Her parents weren’t pleased, but they didn’t want to stand in the way of their daughter’s happiness, so they agreed to the trip and the future marriage.

  “That summer Petro and Elena arrived in Greece. The trip across the Atlantic took about two weeks. The ocean was relatively calm and the trip was smooth. After arriving in Piraeus, Petro took her to see the sights in Athens, and she was awed by the Acropolis, the Temple of Olympian Zeus, the Plaka, and Cape Sounion. She especially enjoyed the nightlife during the two days there. They then went to visit his family in the port town of Kymi on the eastern side of Evia on the Aegean. She loved the town, and his family welcomed her warmly. She had no complaints of them.

  “He, on the other hand, seemed to be testing her persistently. Often, he seemed very remote and at times was sexually aggressive. Although they had sex once at the family home when his family went to visit friends, it was in fact more of a rape. Technically it couldn’t be considered a rape, but it had that feeling to her because she knew that he would have insisted on sex whether she agreed or not. That incident made her feel very lonely and question how he would treat her in Greece. What if they married and he treated her poorly? Would she be able to escape? She would be under his control with no family nearby to turn to. She felt apprehensive and he offered no comfort.

  “He discerned her thoughts and became angry that she would question anything about Greece, no matter how reasonable her trepidation might be for a twenty-four-year-old foreigner. The day after the supposed sex, he disdainfully told her, “You don’t think you’ll be happy here, I can tell. If you’re not going to be able to adjust, I don’t want to marry you. I need a wife who will support me in everything and who will stand by me during my career. I will have a prominent position here and need a woman who will help advance that career. I can’t have a woman who might hold me back.

  “She understood and agreed that marriage might not be the best thing after all. He appeared a changed man in Greece and she felt frightened by the ups and downs in his personality. He seemed so domineering in Greece and she was scared that she would never be able to question his behavior; the society and culture were so patriarchal and men did pretty much as they pleased. She was further aware that the men often womanized but that women would be condemned for that same conduct. And, she clearly remembered the incident her friend had referred to about him touching her breast and the episode in his room with the long-ago friend who had stopped by to see him.

  “Yes, Petro, I’m scared of what life here might be for me. I love you so much and want to be your wife, but you are probably right.

  “Hearing her agreement, his heart and mind hardened against her. He had brought her here and now she was rejecting him. Well, she wasn’t really rejecting him since he had rejected her first, but the fact that she questioned their future together in Greece infuriated him. If that was how she was going to be, he didn’t need her. She certainly hadn’t passed the test this visit had provided. In any case, he would eventually return to his country and find the proper woman to marry and develop his career.

  “They left by ship again after a two-week stay. They were on amiable if cool terms, but they still made love and were attached to each other. The primary difference was that they now recognized they would not have a life together.

  “After arriving in New York City, they decided it would be best if Petro moved elsewhere. They agreed to not see each other again, which didn’t last long. Every so often they would again agree to not see each, but the separations never lasted. Consequently, loving each other while knowing that they were courting heartache, they remained as a couple for the following two years. She knew he often saw other women and hurt every time she found direct evidence of his involvements. Sometimes she found condoms in his new quarters, but he denied all her accusations. Sometimes she found women’s underwear, but he couldn’t understand how the underwear had gotten into his laundry or insisted that it was hers and she was just being unreasonable.

  “What a fool she was to stay with him. But she was a fool and stayed, and as the time approached for him to return to Greece she felt fear. He hadn’t broached the topic of marriage again, and she hadn’t either because of her stubborn pride. She was also afraid that his answer would be an unequivocal no. They had an agreement that he would return home without her. The night he left brought her whole-hearted misery and made her glad that she had kept a bit of her pride and hadn’t pleaded with him to reconsider.

  “He had told her in late afternoon that he was going to go around and say good-bye to friends and that he would stop by to see her after that. She waited and waited, watching the hours tick by on the clock, in the boarding house living room and finally fell asleep on the couch. At 2:00 AM, she was awakened by a soft knock at the door. How little he must think of me she thought. This was his last evening here and he didn’t care enough to spend it with me. The hell with him! His actions tell me more than I want to know. So many years together and this is how it ends. The bastard!

  “She walked to the door but didn’t open it. Instead, she walked to the window next to the door and opened it so that she could speak through the screen. “You have shamed me by your actions unnecessarily. Not even on your last evening did you bother to show me respect. I may not mean much to you, but I have loved you like no other. I don’t want you to touch me now. Go to hell! Go to hell and burn!

  “Of course, he left,” Niko said slowly as he drew to his conclusion. “Petro had no choice at that point. At some level, he was relieved to not have to spend his last hours with a sad and tearful Elena. He came to his beloved Greece, gained a prominent position, married a suitable woman for his lifestyle, and had three children. He thought of Elena every day, and, rumor has it, that he lights a candle in her name every time he enters a church. He was successful and gained everything tangible that he had worked for, but Elena haunted him in his dreams. The choices he had made had seemed so correct at one point. Had they been the best choices? If they had been, why was he still thinking of her with a wrench in his belly?”

  “You were right,” Michael acknowledged. “This story is worse than mine, if for no other reason than that he had years to come to his senses. All I can conclude is that he didn’t truly love her enough or he would have acted differently—both in New York and in Greece. I feel for Elena and want to know what happened to her.”

  “I don’t really know and hope that she found someone to love her that she could love back. The one and only thing that Petro has told me about her after he left is that she wrote him a letter several months after his departure. She told him that she had had an abortion. Her mother had taken her somewhere where they performed this procedure. It was a painful ordeal but she thought she had no other choice.”

  Although Niko hadn’t been able to actively advise him, Michael felt more at peace as he walked home. He had made the decision to marry Ophelia although it was the wrong thing to do. He knew and accepted his responsibility. He had rejected Katerina unfairly and deserved any disgust she felt for him. He would live with Ophelia until one of them died. They would have children. He would simply have to learn to live with Katerina lingering in his mind and heart.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  G
iorgo, his mother, and his father went to see Father Kosta and told him what had occurred between Giorgo and Katerina. Having baptized and known Katerina all her life, Father Kosta was aghast and highly distressed to hear that she had purposefully and specifically cursed Giorgo. Father Kosta had been apprised of Katerina’s grandmother’s powers, but he knew that she had been a religious woman and chose not to use her abilities destructively. He also knew that the granddaughter was like her grandmother and would never hurt anyone intentionally. He looked at the little group sadly and said: “This is not the Katerina that I know. She has always been devout and strong in her religious beliefs. I cannot imagine what brought this on, but I will talk with her and find out.”

  “Of course, Father, talk with her, but please tell us what we need to do to remove this curse. Please guide us. We are God’s repentant servants and want to act accordingly”

  “What we are talking about here is “Vaskania,” or the evil eye. It is an ancient term and originally meant envy but now also refers to maligning, denigrating, slandering, using harmful power and doing general harm. We know from our religious teachings that every evil that happens comes from the devil and not from God. ‘We know that ‘Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights’ (Ja. 1:17).

  “Additionally, we realize that ‘Bless and do not curse’ (Rom. 12:14) tells us that the spirit of evil comes strictly from the devil. St. Basil the Great wrote a treatise titled ‘Concerning Envy and Vaskania,’ and he also wrote exorcisms that we will use with other prayers in our battle against the devil.

  “You have done the right thing to turn to the Church. I will bless you with the cross, which will help to protect you; the cross, you know, has great power against evil spirits. Wear the cross always! Be sure to not wear special charms because that would be promoting magic and paganism. Do not be tempted by any other ‘exorcism’ for this will show your lack of faith and impiety toward God.

  “You need to understand,” Father Kostas continued, “that for the Church to effectively fight evil, you must truly express your faith through your daily actions. You must implement and follow God’s commandments in your lives. More specifically, you must go to Church regularly, pray fervently, confess and take communion. With prayer, we communicate with God. With confession, we are absolved from our sins which are a burden upon our soul and a wall that prevents God’s grace from sanctifying and protecting us. With Holy Communion, we are united with God Himself and we become ‘gods by grace.’ We must also use the rest: the sign of the Cross, prayers and exorcisms by me or another priest. So be careful and avoid every non-ecclesiastical means of sanctification.”

  Father Kosta saw the look of confusion or perhaps frustration on their faces and felt he had to explain further. This family had never been active in the Church and didn’t comprehend what was expected of them. He knew he needed to be as clear as possible: “There exists only one special prayer for Vaskania which is found in the ecclesiastical book, Small Euchologian; a book exclusively for priests. Only one who has the grace of the priesthood, who has participated in the Mystery of Ordination, is allowed to deliver such commands in God’s name and such supplications to God on behalf of the praying Church. It must be clear that these prayers are said only by priests.”

  The three nodded in agreement and Father Kosta intoned, “Let us pray to the Lord…Lord have mercy.” He solemnly recited the prayer against Vaskania, against the ‘Evil Eye’:

  Lord our God, Sovereign of the ages, almighty and all-powerful, creating a11 things and altering them merely by willing it: the flame in the furnace of Babylon, heated sevenfold, you turned into dew, preserving the three youths in safety. Physician and healer of our souls, safe haven for those who hope in You, to You we pray and You we entreat: drive away from Your servant Giorgo, expe1 and banish every sinister action, every satanic assault and plot, the wicked and harmful meddling by mischievous, wicked people casting envious eyes.

  Whether it was beauty or gallantry οr good fortune that provoked malice and jealousy, ill wi11 and an envious eye, loving Master, extend Your mighty hand and raise high Your strong arm; consider this Your creature as You watch over him, and send him an Angel of peace, stalwart guardian of soul and body: to rebuke and repel every wicked intent, every spe11, and the grudging looks of hurtfu1 and envious people.

  Thus, guarded by You, may Your suppliant sing to You in thanksgiving: "Ι have hoped in God:

  Ι will not fear what men could do to me.” And again: "Ι shall fear no evil, for You are with me.

  For You are "Mighty God, Wonderful Counselor, ever1asting Father, Prince of Peace. Lord our God, be gracious to Your servant Giorgo and spare him any hurt or affront by the eye of malice; safeguard him above all through the intercessions of our most blessed and glorious Lady, the Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary, of the luminous Archangels and of all Your Saints. Amen.

  Father Kosta continued with the ‘Prayers of Exorcism for Those Assailed by the Spirit of Evil and for All Afflictions’:

  Let us pray to the Lord. Lord, have mercy.

  God of Gods and Lord of Lords, creator of the flaming ranks and maker of the bodi1ess Powers, You have crafted all that is in heaven and on earth, yet no man has seen You nor can; the whole universe trembles in awe before You.

  You once throttled the Chief of the Fa11en Angels when out of disobedience he breached his proper function; You dashed him to the earth along with his rebellious angels, who then became demons, and hurled them into the depths of darkness.

  Make this exorcism, performed in Your dread name, strike fear in him, the leader in wickedness, and in all his ranks, cast out with him from the light above, and put him to commanding him and his demons to retreat completely from Your servant Giorgo and from this house, that he may work no against those sealed with Your image. Rather may they who have been so anointed with power find strength to tread upon the asp and the viper and all the power of the enemy.

  For Your most holy name, of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, is praised and magnified and is glorified in awe by everything that breathes, now and always and forever and ever. Amen.

  Father Kosta finished with the last prayer, the ‘Prayer of our Father among the Saints John Chrysostom Archbishop of Constantinople’:

  Let us pray to the Lord. Lord, have mercy.

  Everlasting God, who delivered humankind from bondage to the Evil One, free this Your servant Giorgo from every action of unclean spirits. Command these evi1 and impure spirits and demons to withdraw from the soul and body of Your servant Giorgo and not to hide in and dwell in him.

  In Your holy name, and that of Your only-begotten Son and of Your Holy Spirit, let them be driven out of the work of Your hands, so that free of every satanic assault, he may live a holy, righteous and devout life, deserving of the sacred Mysteries of Your only-begotten Son and our God, with Whom You are b1essed and glorified, together with Your all-holy, good and life-giving Spirit, now and always and forever and ever. Amen.

  The three departed after profusely thanking Father Kosta for the prayers he had recited. They solemnly swore to him that they would be in church regularly, pray daily, wear the cross, go to confession and take communion. They pledged that they were going to turn their lives around and become good Christians to the point of financially helping some of their more unfortunate fellow villagers.

  “We are now going to talk with Katerina,” they informed him. “We will go to her and ask for her forgive-ness for anything and everything we have done wrong. We will turn the house over to her and provide her with enough money to live moderately. We would like to give her more, but we plan to take on some of the financial burdens of our neighbors who have had bad luck with their crops this year.”

  “Bless you and walk with God in your hearts. I will also go to see Katerina this afternoon.”

  They talked with Katerina. She was by no means warm toward them and barely let them into the house. She looked well and hea
lthy physically, but her face no longer had a sweetness to it and her mouth was set in a grim line. Her eyes were determined and fierce as if expecting to fight. She offered them no refreshment and didn’t ask them to be seated. They were obviously not welcome.

  “What have you come to tell me?” she demanded.

  “We have come to apologize and ask your forgiveness for anything and everything we may have done to hurt you,” Giorgo’s mother said softly.

  The father added, “We are here to let you know that we will turn the house over to you and provide you with living expenses. We will stay out of your way and don’t expect even a ‘good day’ from you. Be assured that we will never trouble you again. We went to Father Kosta and emerged as different people after talking with him. We have seen the error of our ways and plan to be good and true Christians in all our actions from this day forward.”

  “Giorgo, what do you have to say?” she queried.

  “I am in total agreement with everything my mother and father just said. I hope you can forgive me. That I will never bother you again I swear in God’s name! I am not saying this because of the curse you placed on me but because I have seen the error of my ways. God help me to become a good and changed man! Father Kosta prayed and lifted the curse, so I’m not doing what you want out of fear but out of desire to transform my life”

  Katerina regarded him without expression. “I have no forgiveness left in me. Your life is your own and I need know nothing about it. Although I will be living close to you and might occasionally see you, my desire is to never see your face again. However, I know that is impossible and simply accept it as part of my daily chore. I’ve now heard enough and want you to go. We have nothing further to discuss.”