DADDY ISSUES: A SINGLE DAD ROMANCE

by Morris, Liv

  “There isn’t a number she’ll take.”

  “Everyone has a price.” Bingo, Father. You played right into my hands.

  I rose up from my chair and circled the desk, making my way to the window overlooking lower Manhattan. Two people came to mind before I turned around to face everyone in the room. My mother and Esmé, with their matching crystal blue eyes. One dimmed by a tragedy I caused, the other bright with life.

  “Lucas, I pay some of these attorneys by the hour, so I need you to tell me you’re going to handle this situation.”

  I spun around and exhaled. It was time. Everyone in the room was bound by the attorney-client privilege. What I was about to say would never leave this room, unless my father didn’t cooperate.

  “I plan to be personally involved in my daughter’s life. My attorney and I are taking care of the situation.” My father’s nostrils flared like an angry bull.

  “The Post has contacted us. They’re sitting on a story that this baby is from a liaison between you and an escort. If that’s correct, the board will want you to remove yourself from day-to-day activities. The scandal will rock Wall Street’s confidence in your leadership.”

  “I have an idea that will satisfy everyone in the end. One, I will resign. Two, I agree to letting you sell Iron Gate. Three, you give me personal guardianship over my mother. Her trust will always be connected to yours. I want to make decisions about her physical care.”

  The attorneys shifted their eyes from one to another, all leading back to my father’s. Wheels spun as he ran through all the possible scenarios. I imagined the biggest one was his money. How would he come out in the end? My mother’s family started Iron Gate, and I was ending what they created to help her, if my father agreed.

  “So, what will it be?”

  “I’ll have to defer to my lawyers, especially about the guardianship request.”

  “Let me add one more incentive to help with your decision.”

  I moved to stand beside my father’s desk. The tension in the room was palpable as everyone waited for me to speak. It was one of those drumroll moments in life.

  “If you don’t give me guardianship, the authorities in Vermont will learn the truth. I’ll tell them you lied about my mother being behind the controls of the snowmobile during the accident.” My father squirmed in his seat. It was a rare display of unease. I’d touched a nerve.

  A day after the wreck, I’d arrived in Boston to be with my mother. Machines had filled her intensive care room to keep her alive. Her skin had been ghostly pale, her body lifeless. I feared she would die. When she awoke, we learned a part of her had died. Her personality recessed into the state of a twelve-year-old child incapable of handling the responsibilities of life. She was never the same wife or mother again.

  I’d stood in her hospital room racked with guilt. I couldn’t keep my secret to myself any longer. I had walked to my father’s side as he sat next to my mother’s bed and told him I had been the one driving the snowmobile. I’d expected his anger, but he went into full battle mode to protect me, reporting the accident to the authorities with my mother as the driver.

  At that point, he’d said I had more to lose than her and had made me promise to never tell anyone else. It was our dirty little secret. For years, the lie ate away at my soul, until I fell in love with a woman I thought loved me and confessed what had happened. A weight lifted from me finally sharing it with someone. But she loved my money, not me, and found her golden ticket. It had cost my father millions to keep Meredith quiet.

  My father shook his head, looking me straight in the eye. The anger from earlier had turned into disbelief, but I wasn’t done.

  “They won’t go after my mother since she has diminished capacity. Instead, it will land on you, possibly me too for not standing up to you. But I was only seventeen.”

  “Mr. Shaw,” one of the attorneys spoke up, “I would advise we work out something agreeable to both parties to avoid your exposure.”

  “Any more scandals will lower the interest in a buy-out. Your best bet is to agree to my terms.” I added one more twist of the knife. He wanted the merger money more than his wife. He’d made that clear by his lack of visits to see her. “Give me your answer by Friday.”

  I made two phone calls after I left my father’s office. One was to my personal attorney, Sloan, to let him know how the meeting went. He and I had worked all morning on my presentation to my father and the legalities behind it.

  The other one was to J.J. Funny thing, Maggie’s nickname was stuck in my head for him too. In the crazy of the last couple days, I’d forgotten to get her phone number. I wanted her to know I was leaving the office and on my way back to the apartment. It felt good to have someone at home who was connected to me. I hated being alone.

  And of course, I was talking about the baby.

  26

  Maggie

  I learned something about walking into stores with billionaire levels of wealth. It didn’t just talk. It screamed like a wild banshee, making almost anything I desired possible. J.J. and I spent an obscene amount of Lucas’s money, hovering somewhere in the upper five-digit range. It was hard to comprehend, since I had a five-hundred-dollar credit limit on my charge card and it was currently maxed out. The many joys of being an underemployed college graduate.

  Who knew an adorable three-month-old baby could put a dent in a billionaire’s bank account? Okay, it was a scratch inside his gold-lined vault. Still, I tried to pick price-friendly items, even though, according to J.J., I could’ve shopped like a Kardashian. I preferred the simple brands to the designer ones. They were less pretentious and looked easier to operate. Besides, what baby needed gilded furniture? Please, and no!

  When J.J. and I were in a spending frenzy at Baby Depot, Mrs. Wilson called wondering why I was late for taking care of Justice. Yesterday, I left her voicemails and text messages about not working for her this week. If Lucas needed me, I would probably be helping him longer, but I wanted to break the news to her gently.

  Problem was, she hadn’t listened to or read any of my messages. When I told her about helping out a friend who had emergency childcare issues, she sounded like she might have actually cried. I felt bad for canceling so last minute, but she was missing a pedicure today, Esmé was missing a mother—big difference.

  J.J. arranged delivery service for everything we bought, from a crib to a changing table, including a twin bed for me that Esmé could use in a few years. Lucas couldn’t sleep outside on the terrace another night and sharing his gigantic bed would be too tempting—for me, anyway. He seemed resolved to us being only friends.

  Boxes and plastic wrap littered the apartment floor. If I’d thought Sunday’s gear had been baby overload, today’s was babies gone wild. The two men J.J. hired assembled all the furniture in a spare room mostly used for storage that would be the nursery. It was small, and since there wasn’t a closet, it didn’t qualify as an official bedroom. J.J. said Lucas would have to expand it and give up some of the space in his spa-like gym, or perhaps find another apartment on Billionaire’s Row. I was along for the ride and open to whatever worked best. But the nursery was cramped with everything in it.

  In the afternoon, the men finished putting together the big pieces in the nursery. They removed all the packaging scattered about, and J.J. gave them a thick stack of green bills.

  I washed the bedding and made the beds with the new linens. There was so much more left to tackle, but Esmé had a place of her own in this modern bachelor pad.

  After I fed Esmé a bottle, I rocked her in my arms. She quickly nodded off to sleep, so I laid her down for the first time in her new bed and covered her with a soft fluffy blanket. She sucked her thumb as she settled into her nap, looking so peaceful in her new home. I was so happy to have her sleeping in something besides that crazy alien baby pod.

  I turned on the newly purchased baby monitor and left the room, closing the door quietly. I didn’t want to wake her up. I was exhausted an
d needed a break.

  I found J.J. in the kitchen making coffee. He must’ve read my tired mind.

  “That smells wonderful.” I leaned against the kitchen island, closing my eyes as the aroma filled my lungs.

  “Want a cup?” he asked.

  “A vat would be more like it.”

  We sat down at the dining table and didn’t speak for a long time. Just rested back in our chairs, sipping our coffee. I placed my mug down and gave him a slow smile of satisfaction. He returned it.

  “I didn’t think you had it in you,” I said. J.J. had lost his tie and suit jacket today, along with whatever was lodged where the sun didn’t shine.

  “Fixing up the nursery sure beat going into work today.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s you falling head over loafers for a baby and being an all-around great guy.”

  “Yeah, I’m kind of smitten, but let’s keep that our little secret.”

  “You were like a billionaire grandparent, wanting to buy everything in sight.”

  “I still wish we’d bought those unicorn booties.”

  “I had to say no to something.”

  J.J.’s phone rang, and he excused himself from the table.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Shaw,” J.J. said as he stepped outside on the terrace and shut the door behind him.

  I rinsed out our coffee cups and gathered what little stuff I had in Lucas’s bedroom. I needed more clothes…or a washing machine. I stood debating my options. My clean clothes had run out, so I had to do something. And with Esmé asleep, I had at least an hour to walk to my apartment and pack more for the week.

  After ending the call, J.J. came back inside the apartment.

  “That was Lucas. He has to stop by his attorney’s office, then will be on his way back here. He wants your phone number, by the way.”

  I rattled off my cell number for J.J. to text Lucas, then scoured the apartment to make sure all the packaging materials were picked up. I wanted it to look perfect when Lucas walked in the door.

  “I need to ask a favor.” I smiled and batted my lashes at J.J. He shook his head and twirled his finger in a spit it out already manner. “Can you stay with the baby for an hour, tops? My apartment is close by, and I only packed for two days.”

  “In other words, you’re abandoning me with a three-month-old.”

  “Come on, she loves you. There’s a pre-made bottle in the refrigerator if you need it, but I think she’ll be okay. I can’t say that about her diaper, though.” J.J. cringed at the thought. I didn’t know what it was about guys and changing babies. They acted like they might catch the black death. “Man up. I’m sure yours were worse.”

  “Maggie, I’ve never changed a diaper!” J.J. called out as I opened the front door. His voice was higher than usual, near panic setting in.

  “You have my number, and there’s always YouTube.” I escaped out the door and into the hallway before he answered. I felt bad leaving him, but I couldn’t wear dirty clothes.

  When I stepped into my apartment, it felt like I’d been gone for weeks. Clothes were still strewn across my room, shoes lying around haphazardly, but something was different, out of place in the mess.

  But it wasn’t the apartment causing the foreign feeling; it was me. Standing outside Herb’s penthouse door and meeting him again with his blue eyes wide in disbelief at seeing me…it had changed something in me.

  I had no idea where I stood with him either, but I knew what I wanted. I craved him and being in the very air he breathed, no matter which version. I couldn’t go back to being pre-Herb Maggie.

  The thought of not being a part of his life caused an ache deep inside me, making it hard to breathe. I pressed a hand over my heart, trying to rub away the pain. I’d miss that grumpy, hot as hell sex god if I faded out of his life and he found Esmé a proper nanny, one society would accept. I was the perfect cliché. Someone should call Lifetime. My life had become a made-for-TV movie.

  A young nanny who wanted to sleep with the child’s father, but more than that, wanted to comfort him. I longed to wrap my arms around him and feel his muscles flex under my fingertips. Rest my cheek against his strong chest and listen to his heartbeat, hoping someday he’d open it up to me.

  He tried to hide the passionate man he was, but I saw flashes of desire in his eyes. Dark with needs I wanted to meet, if only he’d let me.

  The only hope I had was finding a way to reach behind the wall and touch the real Lucas, make him feel something. And not just for me, but for himself.

  And then there was Esmé, with her chubby little cheeks and innocent blue eyes. It was love at first sight. Even the stuffed shirt J.J. was wrapped around her little finger. It was impossible not to fall under her spell. She captured my heart with her sweet giggles and smiles, soaking up every ounce of love I gave her.

  It’s crazy. I’ve only been home thirty minutes at most, but I longed to hold Esmé in my arms and have her blue eyes light up with a smile.

  The attachment I felt for Esmé was different than with Justice. I was filling in the gap of Esmé’s mother and giving her the nurturing she needed to thrive. For once in my life, someone looked to me for their wants and needs. I was vital.

  I didn’t know if Lucas wanted me to be his full-time nanny until he worked things out with Coco, but I would be there for him in any capacity if he asked. I’d do anything to keep Esmé happy, and him too.

  I sat my small suitcase on my bed and stuffed it with clean clothes, upgrading my choices to fit in with Lucas’s neighbors and not look like a teenage vagrant. A few people gave me wide-eyed once-overs as I left Lucas’s building. I wanted to fly below the radar, not ping it.

  Just in case I needed something fancy, I added a couple of dresses, my favorite heels, and two pairs of Lululemon pants. Everyone in the city wore them, from college students to gazillionaires. They were the greatest clothing equalizer, though I didn’t have the Gucci sneakers to set me apart. My fifty-dollar Chuck Taylors would have to do. I did decide to ditch the Crocs. They made the worst flip-flop sound against the marble floor in Lucas’s lobby.

  I zipped up my suitcase and placed it on the floor. I started to head to the apartment door when Tessa walked in, almost barreling into me.

  “Oh my God!” she cried out. “I was so worried about you. Is everything okay?”

  “Tessa, you’d better sit down,” I said, echoing what she said the day she asked me to nanny for Lucas. “I have something to tell you and I’m not sure you’re going to be happy with me.”

  “Oh no. Tell me you haven’t slept with Lucas.” Her brows were squeezed together in worry as she fell onto our couch. “I had a feeling this was a bad idea.”

  “No, there’s been no sex, not even kissing.” Yet. Though, a chill ran over me at the thought of his lips whispering over mine.

  “Okay.” She exhaled a long sigh of relief. “What’s up?”

  “You know Herb.”

  “Of course.”

  “Tall, dirty blond with a crazy jawline. Looks like sin in a suit. Well, he also had nuclear blue eyes—the kind you’d never forget—and I met him in the coffee shop off Iron Gate’s lobby.” My words spun around behind her eyes until a light went off. She understood my dilemma.

  “Holy crap,” she whistled. “Herb is Lucas.”

  “Bingo. Or, more like, do not pass go.” A nervous laugh escaped me.

  “And the child is his?”

  “She is. One quick look at her blue eyes told me so before the DNA test.”

  Tessa glanced at my suitcase standing a few feet away. “You’re going back to stay longer?”

  “They both need me.”

  “Do you need him too?” Her tone was stern, almost accusing. She knew me so well.

  My eyes darted to the floor. I was never good at hiding my feelings from her…or anyone, for that matter. I was afraid she’d see the stars in my eyes when I spoke about him. There would be no way to convince her it was different with him beca
use I wasn’t sure it was. Deep inside, Lucas was a sad, lonely boy who needed to be saved from something. I just didn’t know what or who.

  “I can’t just abandon them.” I finally met her gaze. At least this time I was speaking the truth. I felt like a part of them. The three of us together.

  Tessa shook her head. “Maggie, you can’t save Lucas. You know this, right? He got himself into this mess with his own selfish choices.”

  “But the baby? She’s innocent. I’ll just go back to help him with her.” My words sounded like a lie, even to my own ears.

  “I can’t bear to see you hurt.” Tessa took my hands in hers. “He will always have something to protect him. Money. Power. You’re orbiting in an unknown universe. I can’t tell you what to do. Tell me what you’re feeling?”

  I breathed a deep sigh. How would I even begin to answer such a loaded question?

  “I’ll tell you the truth. I feel everything I should for the baby and everything I shouldn’t for him,” I confessed, hoping saying it would ease my mind.

  Then I met Tessa’s sad gaze and realized how painful the consequences of my feelings might become. I’d give him my heart, my body, anything he asked for, just to be with him. He made me weak, but if he felt the same way, I’d soar like never before.

  “You’re playing Russian roulette—the stakes are high, and the fall will be too.”

  “I know.” I jumped, startled as my phone buzzed with an incoming call.

  I pulled it from the back pocket of my jeans, but didn’t recognize the caller.

  “Hello…” My voice wavered.

  “It’s Lucas. She’s awake, and I don’t know what to do. I need you,” he pleaded. Three magical words, but not spoken in the right context.

  “I’ll be right there. Is she still in her crib?”

  “Yes,” he snapped, the strain in his tone apparent. He was lost and scared. “J.J. left. I’m all alone.”

  “Grab a blanket and play hide and seek with her until I get there.”