Hell Again

by Mihret Adal Gidi

  “You shou get up,” I open my eyes, only to meet her pressed her lips in a thin line. “I don think you shou waste yoo tam,” she adds, looking at me concerned.

  I think some part of me is keen enough to deny what she is showing me or trying to tell me, help me understand. I fear to see or even know what she is about to show me next. I fear it might make me think to do every impossible thing possible, or even do crazy things; like try and dig my way back home and that would mean I was deceived, I know for sure it would feel like a cut on my heart… I’m afraid it already starts the anguishing journey in me.

  “I… I need to…catch my breath,” I utter, breathing heavy as I weave my right arm in the air to her. I slide down to the ground to sit on one of the well-structured tree roots that is visible on the ground, forming a dome-like structure, my back scratched slightly by the trunk of the tree. I once again close my eyes as I repeatedly breathe in and out to literally catch my breath that feels like it is escaping out my lungs, opposing my acquiesce. After all, nothing in me and especially now is assentaneous; my mind is clouded with a distorted communication chain with my heart and my body is undergoing fatiguing and tormenting experience. I feel fragile and with so little effort I fear I might break.

  “Ip you want to catch some thing, it shou be, time,” she says, blowing air long and exasperated.

  Ignore her, my conscious utters to me and I didn’t want to listen either. I just keep my focus on my breathing iteration. She takes slow steps to me and sits next to me.

  “I know,” she utters sadly, and I open my eyes, looking to her to my right side; looking down between her feet that are dressed in gladiator sandals, with her fingers interlocking between her legs. She has beautiful flat feet, long feet fingers displayed in her pairs, and she pats on her shoe with her big toe now and then. I think she knows her feet look good that she doesn’t even use nail polish. “The pirst tam he got me here, I thought I was in lope wit im, bu it…didn’t took im much tam to introduce me to others…” she faces me with watery eyes, and I feel my breathing going down in sadness as my frown in fatigue transforms into frown of worry, gradually. “Others like me.” She presses her chest with her left hand. I can perceive her sincerity in her Asian, upturned, cognac, brown eyes. She slowly moves her hand to her face to press her eyes, leaving her round small ballet slipper lips, shaking in fearful tears and she roughly inhales through her nose as she presses her lips, but her chin takes over the vibrating mode, pushing her lower lip to move visibly.

  “I don’t understand?” I whisper, but this time around, I am not able to halt my tears.

  “Maybe he want something prom you,” she says, clearing her silky hair to her back. “It alway the same, with epryone.” She weaves her right hand in the air. “He bring us here, sleep im and we meet others and we stay here.” She tries to clear what she wants to say to me so I would understand.

  If only you know you are complicating it.

  “Like slape.” I frown.

  “Slaves are those we saw back there,” I try to clear it for her, but pressing her lips, she shakes her head in denial.

  “We, sec slape,” I frown, but not in confusion. “We can’t say no. He too powerful. We…” she is looking for the right words and with all the flashbacks of me and him from the first time I met him, I get that word easily.

  “We can’t resist him,” I whisper audible enough to her and she nods, wining her eyes to notify me that was the right word she was looking for. For no reason my brain resiliently keeps playing everything I did with him questionably.

  Not everything was bad when I was with him…or was he just doing his thing, just as she said? I frown deep, thinking as I look away.

  “I don know what is differen with you,” she adds and exhales long.

  “I don’t know what you are trying to say,” I turn to face her once again and she presses a smile as our eyes meets.

  “Ip you can let’s go now,” she stands, and gathering my little vigour, I start following her lead in the walk. “We are not fa at all,” she adds, as she keeps up her challenging fast steps forward.

  In Ethiopia, when you have to go the countryside and there’s walk involved and locals are leading the way, don’t trust them when they say we’re close and that the destination is not far. It’s not far and you’re close according to their experience, but for you…she said we’re close and like my people, its close according to her experience. I never thought I would take a walk this long in my life, but I did anyway and I am now feeling like I’m about to spit my heart out my mouth.

  The peculiar part is the fact that she doesn’t seem to feel any tiredness and that she is looking at me confused that I am reacting this way. No really, what does she think I am? I frown deeply, looking back at her questioning gaze. “What,” I spread my hands sideways, breathing heavy. “I’m tired,” I utter to her and she presses her lips down, shaking her head slightly.

  “You will get alon with it. Ip you stay here lon you will be lik me,” she says, pressing her chest with her hand and I roll my eyes at her.

  “I’m fucking exhausted with your…if you stay here talks,” I utter languidly, breathing heavy. “I hate it because we’re…only walking in the woods…you…” holding her right hand in the air to me, she ceased me from proceeding on my talk.

  “Look,” she says and gives me her back. She gets close to the edge of the cliff edge and kneels down behind a huge rock surrounded by bush. Leaning forwards to the stone with her hands, she stays still, tending to peek to whatever is down there. I shake my head, tilting back to clear my messed-up hair to my back, though I can’t entirely clear it with a simple shake, because of the strings that’s attached to my skin by my sweat.

  After all, I am human; I get tired when I over use my body. I think she is a little too strong or she is used to this world that she doesn’t mind it. You know what, despite the dirt on her face from the cinder and dust earlier, she still looks good, like she is not tired and complaining as well. I doubt I do; I am not only dirty but I am extremely exhausted as well.

  “I doubt you’ve left me any choice.” Shaking my head, I walk close to her and sit behind her to look down the cliff over her shoulder.

  “This is home, ip you stay here, then this is lipe,” she says, looking partially at me once and she turns her attention back to the view down the cliff.

  In distance, I can perceive a huge white house with golden edging colouring. From where we are, the house has protractor or semi-circular shape. It’s well surrounded with pyramidal trimmed larch trees and a well-mowed grass field. From the look of it, we’re viewing it from the back and the circular part is straight to the back yard as the line is to the front. It’s not strange for me since I left it this morning. A twenty-minute walk distance from the house’s backyard and with little distance from the cliff, we’re watching them, a group of ladies; giggling, laughing, running around and some engaged in conversation.

  Fun is good, but I doubt if humiliating someone else terribly is fun. Most of the ladies are having untamed type of fun; some of them ride weak... or the bullied ladies, some of them push some of them down to a muddy ground over and over again, some of them entertains themselves with a strange type of doings I can’t even began to understand to say. I can see another group of master and slaves but like in high school type of situation, except this is extra aggressively crueller; like the popular groups and losers. Some ladies are dressed well, but in long dress of beautiful colours, their dressing style gives the surroundings the Athenians’ time vibe. They are beautiful and seductive that even ladies would pause for a while just to see them. All the ladies that I am seeing are beautiful. It feels like they are here selectively picked from all types of races, the bullies are tall and seems equal in height as well. I think this is another life that she is trying to show me; a life of women in this world treated by this... what are they? Are they even humans? How am I supposed to address them like, now that I am seeing the clear line between us and th
em.

  “What the hell?” I look back at her, gasping as I deepen my furrow lines on my forehead.

  “When I said, he treat you differrn I mean he didn brou you here,” she looks at me after completing her sentence. I can even swear that I can tell that she wants to sob now. Good thing is that since I don’t know how to comfort anyone in that condition, she swallows her feelings back as she looks at me.

  “Who are those and why are they…” I utter in disgust, but she ceases me from proceeding on my questions.

  “The one who they ar beatin are girls from whea we ar fom.” She turns her attention back to them and points to their direction with her chin. “The oters are…” she inhales deeply, closing her eyes, “in short, tey are demons, of Orion,” she turns and faces me in worry.

  Does that name supposed to mean something to me? I frown quizzical as I think.

  “There are fallen, too,” She looks like someone who has lost control over her life, like someone who isn’t well suddenly, like someone who believes what she just said, literally.

  “Okay,” I clear my hair, back brushing it with my fingers. “Yeah, they’re bad,” I nod, pressing my lips as I get my attention back to the ladies exercising their power on the weak. Some are conversing seriously.

  “No, she is bad,” she takes my attention as she points to a group conversing, sitting near a river. “Katrin,” she turns and faces my confused look on my face, “wead hair.”

  “The one sitting in the middle, red hair, you mean?” She nods for my quizzical statement. She’s pointing to a female sitting in between two ladies with ash blond hair, styled in loose plait and the other loose. “What’s so special about her?” I ask her. From where we are, I can only see her back, with a good view to her curly long rose red hair. She is tall but not as tall as the ‘demons’, as Zhai’s expression.

  “She was here lon, longa tan you and me,” she says, shaking her head. “Maybe she’s hopeless bu, she ca be worst tan the demons.”

  “I don’t understand,” I shake my head slightly. Is she serious when she says demons?

  “Me too,” she press her lips sadly and I elevate my eyebrows up quizzically. “I mean, I don understan her,” she clear herself. “She is ba news. Don mess wit her,” she adds. “Bu we will get you out here soon,” she straightens her head but gazes down to the ladies in obvious antipathy feeling.

  “I… um,” I stroke my lips with my tongue to moisture it, while I try to think straight about finding a way to ask her with manners. “I was actually asking if you’re serious with the demon thing, you sound like it,” I clear my question and she sits, turning around facing me fully and I frown ready to listen. She holds my shoulders with her hands and presses her lips. Her eyes are sad…perhaps too sad.

  “Tey ar demons,” she repeats herself in ways, and this time around, I can tell she is not just saying it, I can feel her confirming it with every part of her. Her hands on me are shaking and at the same time sending electrifying message of fear, need and excitement…but I can’t tell exactly of what it could be. All I can tell is that she means what she says and that I can’t help but to smile lost gaspingly.

  ***

  Despite the five women standing in circle, looking down in a huge bowl filled with electric blue glowing water, the cave sounds peaceful. The undefiled nature sounds splendid; the cave is echoing the shimmering waterfall, birds singing in distance and the softly blowing wind sound that is making the cave feel lively than the women standing in silence. They are all dressed and are standing identical; oil black manteaux with the hoody up and long chocolate brown colour tent long dress., heir left hand crossed over the right meeting by their belly; they have long and sharp claw like fingernails. Their neck is stretched forward so they will be able to see into the bowl.

  In the bowl, that’s glowing electric blue aura, they are watching an image; Adha conversing with Baozhi and how unpleasant what she is talking about is making her feel, then as she tries to clean her face with the tip of her dress. One among the watchers lifts her head up as she pushes the hood off her head, revelling her odd nature and she presses a smile, on her too dry lip, with no emotion. Except her, none others are moving.

  They may seem human since they are in man shape, but it’s obvious they are different; too straight nose that is snub and small, with too big emerald green eyes. Long neck, v-shaped chin, round small lip and bizarre skin that is ilk of a skin of a rattle snake. No sign of hair at all and no ears but holes for it.

  She takes moments, as if she is listening to a metal conversation, exchanged among them, as she nods mildly, but she simply turns around and start walking away from the circle and to the way out the cave; taking extended graceful steps, but to a man that is standing still by the way out, guarding the cave.

  He is huge, his skin brutally tattooed stinging of needle to form shapes by his scar. At the realisation of one of the watcher’s approach, he suddenly pops his deep seat cognac brown eyes as his too big ears get tensed to the foot steps behind him. He is dressed as gladiator warrior and he is still as both his hands are holding on the grip to his slayer broadsword, as the blade is pressed down on the ground.

  Once she reaches to him, she places her left hand on his right shoulder, from behind him and stretches herself up to his ears, getting closer. He doesn’t even dare to turn and look at her, even more he closes his eyes to avoid any accidental eye contact with her.

  She slightly opens her lips and breathes, but her breathing conveys messages in whisperer.

  “Diffuse the message, ‘she has seen enough,’ ‘it appears terminus to her visit,’” the faint whisperers utter into his ears.

  This is the only way things works; the watchers can only communicate to the others through him and through him alone. They can’t be seen or talked to, they stay hidden and isolated that they are that dangerous. After she is done with her message she simply turns away and walk back into the cave and he maintains his previous position; with his eyes open then he closes them once again. His skin vibrates as his face lights up in golden blood vessel structure spreads. As he gasps a breath, he opens his glowing eyes and ear-piercing sound wake the wilds in the woods, to pain, as weave hits his surrounding and also the areas it reaches to roughly once and the ground shakes in response.

  Chapter Six

  I ceased in shock as Baizhai ceased on following me from behind; trying to be convincing over her crazy talks. I can’t just leave her here, since she is screaming in pain as she presses her ears with both her hands, I can see she is in obvious pain. I’m really not an expert to try and comfort her or attend to her. All I ever know is how to manage a zoo and definitely not a chaos. I am in fear at the same time, since all of a sudden, like it’s time, the wood seems to turn up in life; there’s a roaring and squealing voices that are disturbing. Despite all the disturbing fear filling sound of the wood, Baozhai seems to be disturbed with even more hard sound she couldn’t take…not to mention that I am only able to hear the obvious sound; the wilds that feels in pain and also the ground shaking.

  I am trying my very best to support her to stand still, If I am not able to keep her in my embrace, I can see she will fall back and roll down a hill. That’s if I don’t have to mention the pain she would pass through as she rolls down meeting some welcoming branches, stones and some thorn-filled bushes that ruined my dress throughout our walks in the wood.

  So, here I am, confused over what she exactly is going through at the moment, but like a person who knows what she’s doing, I am struggling to keep her in my embrace as I keep whispering to her that everything will be alright. If I have to be honest, I am scared now that it’s clear there might wild animals we might run into any time; I can hear them all now. I’m doing my best to keep her still as I hold her on her arms from her back. I am doing my very best to keep her calm so to avoid her possible fall, but I still couldn’t find a good position; she keeps fidgeting falling on the ground as she presses on her ears with her palms. It’s clear somethi
ng is bothering her, affecting her ears. On the other hand, since I am way too scared, some part of me is in need of leaving her and run to find my way out of this dense wood.

  Hey! Don’t judge. I’m only human.

  It all suddenly stops and so as her agony. Thank God for that. I wonder in my thoughts, looking at her, frowning and quizzical. She slowly lets her hands down as she looks up turning her face to me. The pain is still there; that I can perceive it on her face. She’s panting like someone who was running. You should have done that for your equivalent to running walk, I wonder, looking in her worried eyes.

  “Wai,” she says, looking into my eyes with a secretive surprised and yet still dominated by worry gaze in her eyes. “You didn heard tha?” she asks me eke panting.

  “I did, it was like the wild…”

  “No tha soun?” she asks me once again and I press my lips, perplexed to her question.

  “I doubt if I understand your question,” I really don’t know how to cop up with her, but I think her ears are so sensitive to that sound that her ears are streaming out blood. She swallows as she closes her eyes and she smile, looking at me.

  “May…be…you ar …th…the ansur,” she says, trying to catch her breath. “Maybe you are the reason to help me out… all of us out this hell.”

  Fuck! Another crazy talk. Closing my eyes, I inhale heavy as I bite on the tip of my lower lip. I can’t believe I got the preview of what I might sound and look like when I get back home and try to explain where I was for all this time… I can only imagine but I think Teddy would even think that I am lying because I cheated on him, which I did, to be fair and loudly honest. But this can never be fake or a hallucination. I feel things, I can see everything.