James Graham Plays 2
Page 31
He can’t answer his own question. So he exits.
THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS
Millicent Martin (singing) That was the week that was. A life passes before our eyes
From a master of disguise
Or just an Emperor in new clothes?
He stood 41 times And lost 41 times
But he didn’t seem to mind With his leopard-print coat Screaming at you to vote That democracy rocks
So put a cross in his box His only defence
Was that insanity – made sense. That was the week that was!
David Frost John F Kennedy. Lord Mountbatten. Martin Luther King. To their special club of great political titans taken from us too early . . . they have a gate crasher, The self-titled, self-aggrandising, self-appointed, Screaming Lord Sutch, the 3rd Earl of Harrow, has died.
He was found hanging from the bannister of his late mother’s house after committing suicide. His home, an Aladdin’s Cave of hoarded items and memorabilia that neighbours say took three skips, to clear out. Testament to a life that began at the very start of the War, and concluded at the very end of this century.
500 hundred people turned up to listen to the funeral service, wearing loony outfits. Including the Conservative Stuart Hughes, also dressed in Loony attire.
Screaming Lord Sutch broke the record as being, officially, the least successful politician of all time. And yet also, at the time of his death, he became the longest-serving leader of a British political party in history. His legacy lives on.
Modern Prime Ministers arrive on stage – Major, Blair, Brown and Cameron. Behind them, appears Sutch, in his outfit . . .
The sound of a Panto Dame, echoing around us.
‘Where is he, can you see him, boys and girls? Can you see where he is?’ Followed by the cry from the audience: ‘He’s behind you’.
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This collection first published 2016
This House first published in 2012 by Methuen Drama and revised in 2013 © James Graham 2012, 2013, 2016
The Angry Brigade first published in 2014 by Methuen Drama and revised in 2016 © James Graham 2014, 2016
The Vote first published in 2016 by Methuen Drama © James Graham 2016
Monster Raving Loony first published in 2016 by Methuen Drama © James Graham 2016
This collection copyright © James Graham 2016
Introduction copyright © James Graham 2016
James Graham has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as author of this work.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publishers.
No responsibility for loss caused to any individual or organization acting on or refraining from action as a result of the material in this publication can be accepted by Bloomsbury or the author.
This version of the text went to print before the end of rehearsals and may differ slightly from the version performed.
All rights whatsoever in these plays are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before rehearsals begin to Curtis Brown Group Ltd., Haymarket House, 28- 29 Haymarket, London, SW1Y 4SP.
No rights in incidental music or songs contained in the Work are hereby granted and performance rights for any performance/ presentation whatsoever must be obtained from the respective copyright owners.
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