Cherish

by Evelyn Sola

  “Alex.” I lick my suddenly dry lips.

  “Alex what?” he asks. The question stuns me. His eyes hold mine, and his grip tightens. He takes his other hand and touches the necklace around my neck. I swallow, feeling the sudden dryness of my throat. He fingers the half-heart at the end of the necklace, flips it over and reads the inscription. He drops it suddenly, his eyes probing mine as he waits for me to speak.

  “Alexandra Malone.”

  “Malone? I knew a Malone once. Do you have a middle name, Alexandra Malone?”

  “Francine.” He drops my hand at that, but he doesn’t move out of my way.

  “How old are you?” I don’t answer him. I walk around him and run out of the restaurant, saying a rushed goodbye to Tina as I open the door. Luckily, he doesn’t follow me. I don’t think I breathe the entire walk to the hospital. As soon as I step inside, I find a bathroom and lock myself in the stall, taking several deep breaths to calm myself down.

  I channel Tina’s words about me being strong and a fighter. When I step out of the stall, I splash cold water on my face. As I’m wiping the moisture with a paper towel, I look at my reflection, noting the similarities between my face and my mother’s. Everything’s the same except for our skin complexion and my nose.

  I drop the paper towel in the trash and walk out. Head held high and chest sticking out, I make my way to my office, no longer dreading seeing my friends. I’m earlier than usual, knowing I would need some time before they barge in on me, but no amount of time would have prepared me for seeing Jason standing outside the office.

  He hasn’t noticed me yet because he’s looking in the other direction, the direction I normally come from. I’d know his stance anywhere. The tallest person on the floor with broad shoulders. He looks down and types something on his phone, and I feel my phone vibrate in my purse. He makes a one-eighty turn and finally sees me. My footsteps falter as I look at him.

  Tina was right. He looks horrible. His eyes are sunken, and his beard has grown longer than I’ve ever seen it. He’s not smiling, and his eyes are not playful as usual. His eyes leave mine as he looks over my body. Even with everything going on, my body becomes alive, and right now, at this moment, I want him. His body sags in relief, as if a ton of weight has been lifted off his shoulders, but when he looks at me again, it’s like a thundercloud blocking his usual light.

  He doesn’t walk to me. He yanks the door to our department open and gestures for me to walk inside.

  “Get in before I make a scene in this hallway.” I don’t move. I saw him angry the other night, but his anger has never been directed at me. “Now.”

  I square my shoulders and walk inside, and he follows behind me, closing the door. Beth’s here and her door is open. Jason notices that too because he grabs my shoulder and takes me to the small kitchen on the opposite side of Beth’s office.

  “Are you out of your goddamn mind, Alex? I’ve been going crazy for four days! Four fucking days, I had no idea where you were. Mellie had no idea, and neither did Ananda. I thought something happened to you, you know that! I was this close to filing a missing person report on your ass. The only reason I didn’t is because Beth told me you’d be taking a few days off.” I open my mouth, but he puts his hands up. “No, you don’t get to speak right now, because if you say anything ridiculous, I might just lose it on you. I get it. You’re angry. Hell, I’m angry, but I’ve never done anything to hurt you. All this shit is from before, and yes, it’s unfair of me to ask you to volunteer for this mess, but I am, Alex. I need you. I need you with me, and this running away and hiding ends right now. It ends. Yell at me. Cuss at me. Hit me, but don’t you dare run from me. And I’m not letting you go. You wanted time? You’ve had it. Now, I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen.” Surprised by his words, I widen my eyes and pull my head back as he continues with his tirade.

  “I will get a paternity test. If the kid’s not mine, I’ll never see or talk to Natalie again. If the baby is mine, I’m going to share custody and you and I will parent the baby the best way we can, but what’s absolutely not going to happen is you walking away.” He comes closer and is pointing his finger at me. I slap his hand away.

  “And just who the hell do you think you’re ordering around, Jason?”

  “You, Alex!” he thunders while pointing a finger in my face, stunning me into silence. “I’m talking to you!”

  I don’t stay quiet for long. “Last time I checked,” I say, finding my voice again, “I’m an adult. One who comes and goes as she sees fit. I needed some time, so I took some time. I don’t have to answer to you or anyone else, so you can stuff it.”

  If I thought he couldn’t get any angrier, I was wrong. He steps away from me, turns his back and rubs the back of his head. When he faces me again, his gaze is practically murderous.

  “Wrong.” He’s no longer yelling, but his quiet tone is even more dangerous than his shout. “I love you, Alex, and I know you love me. Put yourself in my shoes. If I just disappeared for four days, and you couldn’t get ahold of me. I was worried sick. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I could barely pull myself together just to be able to function at work. I thought I had lost you, but then I realized that losing you is not a possibility.”

  He looks tortured now that he’s no longer yelling at me. The cornered animal look is gone, and what’s left are his haunting eyes. He’s still the same height and size, but he looks smaller to me right now.

  “I’m sorry. Not about needing time, but about how I went about it. I wanted to punish you, Jason. You dangled this life in front of me, and now it’s gone. Put yourself in my shoes.”

  He rubs the back of his head, a nervous tic I’ve noticed he has.

  His voice is more forceful than I’ve ever heard it when he speaks again. “Everything I promised you is still on the table. Family, vacations, holidays. Everything. Nothing has changed. Everything we talked about is still there.”

  “Including a baby that’s not mine.” The room goes silent once I address the elephant in the room. He walks to me and takes both of my hands in his.

  “That’s a possibility, yes. I’m asking you to do this with me. I can’t do it without you, Alex. It’s a lot to ask, but I’m asking.”

  He reaches for me and I don’t pull away. He holds on to my hands, neither one of us saying a word. He squeezes my hands in his and smiles sadly at me. His eyes are sunken in, causing my heart to ache knowing I’m partly to blame for his distress. I smile back and kiss his hand. He lets out a strangled laugh at the gesture, and I watch as his shoulders sag in relief.

  “Did you mean the other thing you said the other night?” I didn’t think he’d know what I was talking about, but he lets go of one of my hands and pulls something out of his pocket. He slams a box on the counter and drops down on both knees.

  “Marry me, Alex. I love you so much. I need you so much. It’s been torture without you. Please, angel. Please.” In the middle of the tiny kitchen right off our office, he puts his head on my stomach, holding me close to him. I run my fingers over his head and down the back of his neck, stroking his soft skin.

  “Stand up, Jason.” He does. He towers over me, looking into my eyes. “I was so scared. It was always my mom and me. And then she was gone. By some act of fate, we found each other. I fell in love with you right away, and then you introduced me to this whole other world. Your sister, your friends. I thought I could lose that. I won’t lose that. I love you, and this is just a curveball. We’ll deal with it. Whatever the test results, we’ll deal. So, I want everything you’ve promised me. My answer is yes. I will marry you.”

  He doesn’t kiss me. He holds me so tight against his body; I don’t know where mine ends and his begins. Then I feel a vibration against my body. It takes me a minute to realize he’s laughing. He picks me up and spins me around the small space, laughing the entire time. His happiness is infectious, and I soon join him.

  “Give her the damn ring, Jase! She’s going to puke if you k
eep spinning her around like this.” Uncaring that Mellie, Ananda, and Beth are watching, Jason puts me down. He finally kisses me while holding my face with both hands. The kiss is gentle and sweet, just like the man. He pulls away and opens the box, revealing a diamond solitaire with smaller diamonds on both sides. It’s a perfect fit as he places it on my finger. When we step out of the kitchen, the three women engulf us in hugs. Mellie and Ananda are crying as they admire the ring.

  “You know he wouldn’t let me see it?” Mellie says. She lets out a loud whistle. “Damn, my brother has taste. And money, because this is huge.”

  “The jeweler told me this is a halo diamond ring, which is perfect because you’re my angel.”

  “Aww,” Ananda says. “I’m so happy for you.” She pulls me from Jason, and everyone in the room takes turns hugging me.

  “Okay, guys, back to work.” Beth ends our little party. “It’s Friday! Let’s make it a good one.” She walks back to her office, leaving us alone. Mellie and Ananda also walk away as I walk Jason out.

  “I’m on call tonight, but hopefully, I won’t be called in. I’m going to sleep in my on-call room. We’ll drive home together after you get off work. I’ll meet you back here, okay?”

  “Okay, fiancé.” I hold up my hand and wave it around like Miss America.

  “I love the sound of that. I love you, Alex. Don’t ever forget that.”

  “I love you, Jason. Always.”

  CHAPTER 40

  JASON

  The fifteen minutes I wait for her to come out are the longest of my life, but when she does, she has the most beautiful smile on her face when she sees me. I take her hand, intertwine our fingers and walk to the garage to my parked car. Instead of going to my place tonight, we decide to go to her place for privacy. Her apartment is as cramped as I remember. Pictures of her on the wall in no order. The condo is the opposite of Alex. She’s soft words and a calm intensity. The house is confusion and chaos. She looks at the world with wonder and awe, but this place is stifling with disorder. She doesn’t belong here. She’s not free here.

  “Angel, what do you want to do with this place?” I ask.

  “I know I don’t want to sell it. It’s my mother’s home, so I want to keep it. It’s all paid for, though,” she says as she looks around. She sticks a hand in her hair and scratches. “She always kept it like this, and I didn’t have the heart to throw anything away, but I think it’s time. Maybe we can make it a rental property after doing some updating.”

  “We can clear it out whenever you’re ready, but maybe we can wait a little while for the repairs. I have a new tenant moving in next month, and hopefully, the third floor will get rented out soon too.”

  She smiles widely as she walks over and plants a wet kiss on my lips.

  “You’re a giver. Has anyone ever told you that? I never spent a penny of the half-million-dollar life insurance policy my mother had. I can use it for this.”

  “What?” I exclaim, slapping her on the ass so suddenly she stumbles. “You have more money than me.”

  “You can be my sugar baby if you want,” she says, walking toward the kitchen. “I can start by buying you dinner since I have no food here.” I turn to find her looking into an empty fridge. She pulls out a half-gallon of milk, opens it, makes a face after smelling it and pours the sour contents down the drain. It’s no surprise she has no food here. Even before she ran off, she spent every night with me. In my house. Where she belongs.

  “I’ll go grab us a pizza while you continue packing. Let’s get as much of your stuff as we can tonight. I want to get you home where you belong.”

  The smile she gifts me with is radiant. “I’d like that too, babe. I’ve missed our place.”

  She leaves the kitchen and starts to walk back to her bedroom, but I grab her and pull her into my arms. She looks up, her gray eyes alive and twinkling. I lean down and take her mouth with mine. She wraps her arms around me and kisses me back, bringing my body to life and making my dick as hard as granite.

  I lift her off the ground and spin her around. She throws her head back and emits a carefree laugh. Her laughter spurns something inside of me, and soon I’m laughing with her.

  “We’re getting married!” she yells so loud, I’m sure the neighbors heard.

  “Damn right we are!” I stop spinning and hold her to me, feeling her breath against me, inhaling the smell I’ve missed so damn much for the past four days. Her stomach growling causes us to laugh all over again.

  “Pizza, packing, then home. I want to spend the rest of the night making love to you.” I kiss her one last time. “Think about when you want to get married. I’m thinking very soon.” I try to sound calm and mask the desperation in my voice as much as possible.

  “Soon, huh? How about we go to city hall on your next day off?” She waves me off as she laughs.

  “I’m off Wednesday. Let’s do it.”

  She continues to laugh, but when she sees the seriousness of my face, her eyes widen. “I was kidding about Wednesday, but I agree it should be soon.”

  Satisfied with her answer, I leave her apartment and walk two blocks to a hole in the wall pizza place. The place is busy for a Friday, and I spend longer in the restaurant than I anticipated. I add a couple of bottles of water to our pepperoni pizza order and leave as soon as my name is called.

  By the time I get back to Alex’s building, there’s an older, white gentleman getting out of a silver pickup truck, looking completely out of place in the neighborhood. He looks around and our eyes meet for a brief moment. I give him a nod in acknowledgment, and he nods back. I don’t pay any more much attention to him and make my way back to the cluttered condo as soon as possible.

  “Food, angel. Let’s eat.” I move a stack of books and outdated magazines out of the way. As I’m moving the magazines, I notice they are from over ten years ago. I finish setting the table just as Alex wheels two big suitcases out of her bedroom.

  “So,” I say a few minutes later, after we’ve both eaten two slices, “we get married next week. I know it’s fast, but we can plan a real wedding for next year. I just want to be your husband now.” She looks at me and opens her mouth to speak. “And no, it has nothing to do with Natalie and the possible baby.”

  That’s not a complete lie. I want to be her husband as soon as possible, but I also want to have her committed to me for life in case the baby is mine. There will be no opportunities for her to change her mind and end things.

  “Think honeymoon. The world is yours. Wherever you want to go.”

  I pull her out of the chair and put her on my lap.

  “Hmm. I’ve always wanted to go to Prague. I love their architecture. Or Amsterdam. I love the idea of riding a bike through the city or taking a boat tour. But we might have a baby. We can’t take off to Europe. Maybe we can go to Montreal for a weekend?”

  “You’re getting a honeymoon. No arguments.”

  “Okay then, future husband. I want a honeymoon. I’ve only been out of the country once, and that was a high school trip to the Bahamas.” I give her a kiss filled with relief and gratitude. Relieved to have my playful, happy girl back, and so fucking grateful she mentioned the possibility of the baby without any anger or regret. I’m willing to give her the world.

  “Jay, baby, I have something to tell you.” She pulls back from my lips, uncertainty marring her features.

  “You can’t change your mind about marrying me.” I play it off as a joke, but my heart is beating out of my chest.

  “Never. It’s nothing to do with you or us.” I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

  “What is it?”

  Before she can tell me anything, and before I can tell her I’m going to take her to Prague and Amsterdam, there’s a quiet knock on the door. It’s so quiet that it’s only when there’s a louder more insistent knock that I realize someone wants to get in.

  “To be continued.” She leaves my lap and walks to the door. When the knocking conti
nues, more insistent than before, I get up and walk after her. I grab her wrist and pull her behind me.

  I open the door and come face-to-face with the same older white man I saw earlier. He looks confused when he sees me standing there. He doesn’t acknowledge me, but I hear Alex gasp when she sees who it is. The hair on the back of my neck stands up and I block the door with my body.

  “Can I help you?” He’s tall, but not as tall as I am. He steps back when he sees me and raises both hands.

  “My name is Alexander Reilly. I’m here to speak with Alex Malone.” He’s talking to me, but his eyes are on her. There’s something familiar about him, but I’m positive I’ve never seen him before.

  I look him up and down. He looks alert. He’s well-dressed in khaki pants and a black polo shirt. He’s wearing a Boston Red Sox baseball cap. He’s not threatening, but there’s something about him I can’t put my finger on. He’s not looking at me though. His eyes are on my girl, taking her in. If I thought he was a pervert, I would have kicked his ass already, but he’s looking at her as if he’s trying to memorize every part of her.

  “Do you know this man, Alex?” I look down at her, and she’s studying him the same way he’s studying her. Her eyes are glazed over. It’s as if they will fill with tears and fall at any moment.

  “Tell him who I am, Alex?” Alexander says. “Tell your boyfriend why our names are almost identical. Tell him why I have the other piece of that necklace you’re wearing. The same one I gave to your mother almost twenty-seven years ago.”

  Understanding dawns. I take the stranger in again and realize why he looks so familiar. It’s not obvious, but it’s there. His profile and hers are identical. His nose looks like it’s been broken a few times, but it’s the same nose as the woman I’m going to marry.

  “Angel. Do you want me to make him leave?”

  “I’m not leaving.” The stranger doesn’t even look at me to make that declaration.

  “You will leave if she doesn’t want you here,” I tell him. He looks at me up and down. I don’t back down. I take a step closer to him, ready to physically put him out if necessary.