Cherish

by Evelyn Sola

  “No. I don’t want him to leave. Please come in, Mr. Reilly.” Alex grabs my arm and I wrap my arm around her for support. With my hand around her waist, we step aside, and he walks in. He turns to face us, and his eyes go right back to Alex. This time he takes a step closer to her and reaches for her face. He holds it in both hands, caressing her face as he gazes into her eyes.

  Her tears start to fall, and so do his.

  “I didn’t know you existed until this morning.” His voice is hoarse and hard to understand. His body shakes, but he doesn’t let go of her face. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He hugs her to him, both of them weeping. I massage Alex’s shoulders, and she relaxes at my touch.

  He pulls away, grabs her face again as he looks at her.

  “You look just like her. I knew who you were the moment I laid eyes on you, but this,” he says, touching the necklace. “This gave it away. I had this made for her for her birthday.” He flips the half heart pendant over and reads the inscription. “You’ll always have my heart.” He finally lets her go, but gestures to the couch, asking if we can all sit. I get water for us while they get comfortable on the couch.

  “I gave this to your mother a couple of years into our relationship. I couldn’t put my name on it, so I had them put my initials. I fell in love with her while I was investigating a murder downtown. She worked in the building next door, and I saw her one afternoon. We were having lunch at the same place. I fell in love with her on sight, but I was married.” He looks down when he says that. His shoulders sag, and he rubs a hand over his face. “Your mother, she was so much younger than me. Fifteen years younger. We couldn’t get enough of each other. It was the best years of my life. I was going to leave my wife. I told Connie it was over, but the worst thing happened. Our twelve-year-old son, your brother Bruce, was diagnosed with leukemia.” He puts his face in his hands and rubs. The bridge of his nose is as red as his eyes when he looks at us again. Tortured. “I thought I was going to lose my boy. He needed me, and Connie gave me an ultimatum. If I chose your mother, she would make it difficult for me to see my son. Her uncle was a family court judge, and she had connections. She threatened to go for full custody, and with her family connections, it was a real possibility. I’m ashamed to say this, but the fact that your mother was black made her anger so much worse. She said horrible things, things I won’t repeat. So, for the sake of my son, I ended things with Mariah. We were both devastated. She asked me to never contact her again because as much as she loved me, this situation was killing her. She said if I ever loved her, I’d let her go and focus on my son.”

  Alex’s eyes are wide. I know she’s hearing this for the first time, absorbing every word, probably cross checking it with whatever little crumbs of information she was able to glean over the years. It’s her turn to study him now. She lifts his hand and runs her finger over a birthmark between his left thumb and index finger, the same birthmark she has.

  “She never told you about me?” His voice is so strained, it’s as if it hurts to ask the words.

  A stray tear falls down Alex’s cheek and she quickly wipes it away. I pull her closer and kiss her cheek, reminding her that she’s no longer alone.

  “I asked,” she says, voice hoarse with the bitter words. “God, did I ask. The last time, she fell apart and cried uncontrollably.” She dabs at her eyes. “I had so many thoughts. For a while, I was convinced I was the product of a rape and she couldn’t—”

  “No!” her father says, his voice filling the small space. His calm demeanor gone, his face now turned red. “I loved your mother. She was the love of my life, Alexandra. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think of her. You were created in love.”

  “Then why didn’t you fight for her?” She pulls her hands from the man’s grasp and walks away, giving us her back. “After your son got better, why didn’t you find her? You were a cop. You could have found her.”

  “I did.” He stands up faster than a man his age should, and walks to her, spinning her around. “I found her a few years later. She told me I had hurt her too much, and if I ever cared about her, I’d leave her alone. I shouldn’t have, but as much as it hurt, I did what she asked. I felt like I owed her that much given all the hurt I caused.”

  No words are spoken. Another pounding on the door interrupts the intense moment.

  “Dad!” someone yells. “I saw your truck outside. Alex, are you in there? Dad, you better not have broken in.” I know that voice, but I can’t remember who it belongs to. I run to the door, finding Tina on the other side.

  “Tina? What the hell are you doing here?” She walks right past me and marches inside without so much as an acknowledgment of my question. Another penny drops. Everything makes sense now.

  “Really, Dad? I knew you wouldn’t be able to wait. I told you not to come barging in here.” She rounds the corner to find her father standing with Alex, both of his hands holding hers.

  “Last time I checked, I was the parent, Christina.” He never takes his eyes off Alex when he utters those words. He picks up her hands and puts them on his face. “Come and meet your sister.”

  Tina takes a few tentative steps as she looks at the scene. Unsure of how she’s going to respond, I get closer to Alex in case I need to play referee. After a beat, she squares her shoulders and walks forward.

  “Six months, Alex. For six months you’ve been coming into my restaurant. You befriended me. I told you all about my family, and for six months you don’t say a word.” She runs a hand through her dirty blond hair. “I knew there was something about you. I feel so stupid because I see it so clearly now. Your nose. Sometimes you’d turn toward the window, and your profile is just like his. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know how. I didn’t know the circumstances of my birth, and I didn’t know if that news would be well received, so I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry, but I had no idea how to bring that up. I just liked getting to know you and about your family.”

  “Our family, Alexandra. Our family. God, come here.” She pulls Alex away from her dad and pulls her into a tight hug. “I should be so mad at you for not saying anything, but I understand.” She pulls back and runs a hand over Alex’s hair. “I always wanted a little sister.”

  That’s what finally breaks Alex. She abruptly pulls out of Tina’s hug and runs into my arms. I hug her close as she cries, her face buried in my chest. I cradle the back of her head, stroking the fine hairs at the base. She shivers against me. I place kisses on top of her head.

  “It’s okay, angel. It’s okay. If this is too much, I can make them leave and we can pick this up another time.” She holds me tighter, shielding her face from our guests. When my phone starts to vibrate in my pocket, I reluctantly leave her and walk back to the bedroom to answer the call. Once the bedroom door closes, I can no longer make out their words.

  “That was the hospital,” I say a few minutes later when I return to the living room. I find Alexander and Tina talking to each other, but no sign of Alex. I relax only when Tina tells me she’s in the bathroom. “I have to leave. I’m taking Alex home now. She’s had enough for the night.” Alex will probably be pissed at my making this unilateral decision, but since she’s in the bathroom, I get to speak for her.

  “Hospital?” Alexander asks.

  “Your daughter’s boyfriend is a surgeon, Dad.” Tina flashes me a smile.

  “Fiancé,” I correct.

  “Fiancé!” she calls when I say that word. I can feel Alex approaching. When Tina sees her, she runs past me and grabs her left hand, letting out a scream when she sees the ring.

  “I was hoping we could continue talking.” Mr. Reilly gives me the side-eye, walks past me and stands in front of Alex.

  “I’d like that, too.”

  “But I have work now, angel. I’ll take you home. We can have your father and Tina over for dinner tomorrow.”

  “I thought she was home.” Mr. Reilly looks around the crowded place.

/>   “She’s moving in with me.” His hard, blue eyes turn on me, but I don’t back down from his gaze. “We just got engaged today.”

  “Well, I need to talk to my daughter, and what kind of a man proposes without talking to her old man first?”

  “Excuse me, but I didn’t know you existed until you showed up here half an hour ago. And your daughter is an adult.”

  “Jay, enough. I’m tired and this has been overwhelming. How about dinner tomorrow night?” Alex puts her hand on the small of my back and adds, “At our place.”

  Her father gives a firm nod, but I can tell he doesn’t like that option. He turns his gaze back to me. “Jason what?”

  “Dupree.”

  “Dr. Dupree. I will see you and my daughter tomorrow at five.” He bypasses me and hugs Alex, kissing her on the forehead as if he’s been doing it his whole life. Tina hugs us both, but she hugs Alex long and tight.

  CHAPTER 41

  ALEX

  “You’re not lifting a finger.” Jason doesn’t even turn around to bark that order.

  Mellie places a drink in my hand and orders me to go change, but I’m too comfortable in the silk robe Jason got for me. It’s been surreal since yesterday. So surreal that I can’t bring myself to fully process what happened. When I woke up in the middle of the night, alone in Jason’s bed, I convinced myself it was a dream. Tina didn’t know I was her half-sister. My biological father did not figure out who I was and track me down at home. I didn’t have a family. The only thing that was real was the ring of my finger and the man who has occupied my heart since the very beginning. His plan on going to the courthouse and getting married on his next day off is sounding better and better.

  For days, I thought I had lost him. The pain was so unbearable, I could hardly reconcile with it. Despite the hurt, I wasn’t surprised. The one other person I loved left me too. The family I thought I was getting was gone, but then I realized it didn’t have to be that way. I wouldn’t not date a man because he had a child, so why should I give up the man I love for a child he might have created before we met? I want the man, and if he has a child, I will want the child too.

  I roll my neck as I watch my fiancé, his sister, and Ananda prepare for the barbeque we’re having. There are too many chefs in this kitchen, but whoever made this drink, did a great job.

  I laugh when Jason and Mellie get into an argument in the kitchen over the way he’s preparing the meat he’s getting ready to grill. The fight is over soon enough when he hands her a list of things he needs from the grocery store. Mellie grabs Ananda, and a few minutes later, I’m alone with my man.

  I admire his tall, hard body from my spot across the kitchen. Unable to stay away a minute longer, I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist and kiss the spot between his shoulder blades.

  “Do you know how sexy you look standing in this kitchen?”

  He turns around, lifts me, and sits me on the counter. I pucker my lips, but he doesn’t kiss me. His eyes probe mine instead.

  “How long have you known?” I break our gaze and look down as I think about his question. I’m surprised it took him this long to ask, but then, we haven’t been alone all day. He came in in the middle of the night, and when we both woke up this morning, he sexed me so good, we both fell back to sleep.

  “I found a letter he wrote to my mother from before I was born. All I had was a name, so I hired a private investigator. It took him one day to find him. And what I said yesterday was true. I wasn’t sure about the circumstances of my birth until I found that letter. And when the investigator found him, I didn’t know how he would feel about me. Like, what if he knew about me and didn’t want me? He already had a family, and I didn’t want to mess that up.” I grab him by the waist, pull him closer, and wrap my arms and legs around him. “I was scared. He might not want me, but what if he did, and his kids hated me? Things like that.”

  “Is that why you started going into Tina’s café? To get to know her?”

  “Yeah. I was curious. Then I really liked her, and she liked me too, but I didn’t want to risk losing her friendship by telling her.”

  “But why didn’t you tell me, angel?” He pulls back and grabs my face.

  “I never said it out loud, Jay. Never. I never told anyone, not even Ananda. I was going to tell you yesterday. Then he knocked on my door before I could say the words.” I hold him to me again, neither one of us speaking. “It feels weird. I don’t even know what to call him.”

  Before he can answer, there’s a loud knock on the door, but whoever it is doesn’t wait to be let in. The door opens and footsteps vibrate throughout the apartment.

  “I swear to God, you’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on, Mellie,” Jason says with his head in the crook of my neck. I close my eyes and hold him close, my hand stroking the back of his neck as I wait for Mellie’s smart comeback, but the only sound I hear is a loud throat clearing.

  I open my eyes to meet the stare of my birth father’s blue eyes.

  “Oh, you’re early! I haven’t even texted Tina with the address yet. I was going to ask her to tell you where we live.” I push Jason away and jump off the counter, pulling the robe to cover as much as my bare legs as possible.

  “I thought I’d come over early so we could talk in private.” He finally comes to a stop in front of us but doesn’t comment on the fact that nobody gave him our address. Jason’s standing between us, inadvertently keeping us apart. “Your sister will be here soon. Your brother too.” He doesn’t look at me when he speaks; his eyes are on Jason. “Do you mind if I speak with my daughter, Jason?”

  Jason turns to face me, still blocking us, but giving his back to Alexander.

  “Do you want to do this? You don’t have to do this right now. This is your party. You decide what you want to do.” It’s a do over from my last party. Even though I told him no, he insisted and called Sandy and Jake to invite them over tonight.

  “It’s fine. Let me go change first.” Jason stares into my eyes. I know he’s seeing the uncertainty in them. When he doesn’t make a move, I gently rub his shoulders. He relaxes a bit and nods.

  “Everyone will be here soon, so I’m going to start grilling the meat.” He kisses me gently and whispers words of love before walking out the sliding door. I offer Alexander a seat and run into the bedroom to change. While I’m in there, I text Tina the address and let her know our father is already here. She texts back immediately, saying that the only surprise is that her father waited this long to barge in.

  When I make my way back to the kitchen a few minutes later, we stand there, my arms swinging awkwardly as we look at each other. The similarities are more apparent today. Though I didn’t inherit his height, our chins are similar too.

  “I thought we could talk, just the two of us.” He pulls me in for a hug. Unsure of what to do, I pat his back a few times before stepping away from him.

  “Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll grab you something to drink.” He nods and takes a seat at the table while I rummage through the fridge for Jason’s fancy beers. When I return to the table with our drinks, I notice the box he has placed on the table.

  “I have some pictures I want to show you.”

  CHAPTER 42

  ALEX

  “Why aren’t you eating?” Jason whispers in my ear. “I put extra pickles on that thing. And you’ve been sipping on that one beer for almost two hours now. What’s wrong?”

  I shake my head at him and force a smile. It’s a warm evening for late September, but I can feel a slight chill. Whether that’s in the air or in my bones is yet to be determined. To appease Jason, I take a big bite of my burger. I know it’s delicious, but I taste nothing.

  “I’m saving room for cake.”

  He smiles, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “Anyone want more drinks? Alex, can I get you something?” He’s saying my name but looking at him. He doesn’t wait for any answers. He gets up and grabs my hand.

  “Say
the word and they’re out of here.” He pulls out a few beers and grabs the pitcher of sangria left in the fridge.

  “What? No!”

  “Then what the fuck is wrong with you? You’re not acting like yourself and haven’t been since he barged in here. I want my Alex back.”

  I try to pull out of his grasp, but he holds onto me.

  “It’s just weird. I didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this. No, I do know what I expected.” I point to the sliding door. “I expected him to make excuses. To not want me. To say I wasn’t his, or that I was a mistake. To disparage my mother. I was prepared for all of that. What I wasn’t prepared for was this instant family.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a while. He pulls me into a hug and holds me. I absorb his strength. “I don’t know how to be in a family, Jason. It was always me and Mom, and then it was just me.”

  I pull out of his arms and turn my back to him as I hold on to the kitchen island for support. I try to steady my rapid heart rate by taking a deep breath, but I can’t seem to calm. I gasp for air until Jason puts a calming hand on my shoulder.

  “It’s going to be okay, Alex. You can get to know them at your pace. You’re in charge here. You can give as much as you’re able to. I’m here, baby. Look at me.” I turn around slowly, and when I look in his eyes, I can feel my heart rate steadying. “You don’t have to do this by yourself anymore. You have me. I’m your family. You can tell me anything, angel, and I’ll always be on your side.”

  “I know. I know, but I didn’t anticipate these feelings. I don’t even know what they are.”

  “Do you want to talk to a therapist? I’m here, of course, but a therapist will help you identify and process your feelings. Work out your feelings about your mom. I know you must have some.”

  I hug him and let his words sink in. I lay my head on his chest and sigh as his hand traces my spine.