Tattered Hearts: Mail Order Brides of Spring Water Book One

by Ball, Kathleen

  “Now I know for sure you are just being silly.” The laughter in her voice did him good.

  Rubbing the liniment on her proved to him he wasn’t a saint. Even knowing she was in pain he couldn’t help but feel aroused by her. He’d never try to send her away again. She squirmed beneath his hands. “I know it has a warmth to it, but I swear you’ll be a bit better tomorrow.”

  “I can tell by your voice that you’re enjoying this.”

  “It’s not every day I get to see your adorable backside. I’m a mere man, and of course I’m enjoying the view.”

  “Lecher.”

  Parker grinned at her lighthearted accusation.

  “There, all done. I’m going to drape a sheet over you. I want you to sleep.”

  “Thank you, Parker. I wasn’t sure you’d want me back. I am so sorry about your mother.”

  He bent and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, and of course I wanted you back home where you belong.”

  Her deep, even breathing told him she was asleep before he left.

  He ambled down the stairs and into the parlor to find Willis and Sandler waiting for him. They stood as he walked into the room.

  “Get some sleep. You two deserve it. Georgie told me what happened. You can fill me in another time. Thank you for bringing her back to me.”

  “Yes, sir!” Willis said.

  Parker gave them a single nod. “See you tomorrow.”

  He watched them leave and then practically collapsed onto a chair.

  Sondra hustled into the room with a cup of coffee. “Try to relax. She’s back.”

  “Thank you for the coffee. I’m planning to tell her you’re unavailable. Otherwise, she’d demand you tend to her, and I want to do for her. I need to build a closeness between us again.”

  “I understand. Get some rest. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

  His prayers had been answered, and Georgie was safe and in his bed. He rubbed the back of his stiff neck and savored his coffee.

  * * *

  “Don’t you have ranch things to attend to?” Georgie had spent enough time with Parker the last few days. Besides, he made her stay in bed. If he left for a bit, she could get up.

  “No, I don’t. My main concern is you, love.”

  She glared at him.

  He widened his eyes. “What’s that look for?”

  “You always call me love or my love and it hurts to hear you say it.” Her heart felt heavy.

  Parker sat on the side of the bed. He took her hand into his. “You still don’t believe that I love you?”

  “I don’t know. The look on your face when you told me about the woman you love, Rose Callen, said it all. You still pine for her. It took me completely by surprise since I thought you did love me. I’ve been hurt and angry ever since. I always wanted to have a husband who loved me. I know I was forced on you, but I could have sworn that you returned my feelings. You said you did.”

  He put his hand under her chin and lifted it then gazed into her eyes. “The only thing I feel for Rose is bitterness and betrayal. If she couldn’t have remained faithful to me then she wouldn’t have been a good wife to me. All she had to do was tell me in a letter. She still talked about us getting married up to the end. I didn’t think I’d ever be willing to try to love another.”

  His words put a fire in her soul, but he still didn’t say he loved her.

  She moved over and patted the empty space on the bed. When he sat next to her, she was pleased. “I suppose it’s my turn to tell you why I have nightmares.” She started wringing her hands and finally placed them on either side of her.

  “We lived on one of the biggest plantations, and yes I was a spoiled girl when the war started. I hadn’t even had a coming out party yet, and my sister cried due to the lack of suitors. My brother Daniel signed up right away. He was so very proud and we were too, but I was afraid he’d never come back. My father refused and when they came for him, he sent a slave in his place. I’ve never said it, but my father was a coward. He inherited his wealth and never really worked a day in his life.” She took one of Parker’s hands and traced his callouses.

  “His hands were as soft as mine. We heard later the slave he sent ran away. I was secretly happy, but my father was livid and he went raging down to the slave quarters. I never did find out what he did but there came the sound of the whip and so much wailing. I tried to go down the next day to see if anyone needed medical attention, but I was forbidden.” She closed her eyes trying to get the sounds of the wails out of her head.

  “The first time the Union Army came my father meekly handed them supplies, and he took to his bed for the rest of the day. It was the first time I’d heard my mother criticize my father. My sister, Amy had batted her eyelashes at the soldiers and gave them coy smiles. She made me so mad. Anyway, I took it upon myself to hide both food and livestock in the woods. The overseer, Bently, helped me. We decided to leave enough in the house so if they came back there was something for them to take, but I also hid all the silver and a lot of the jewelry. When some of the slaves saw what I was doing they came and helped me.”

  She took a deep breath. “The next time the Union Army came, my father decided to shoot at them. He was a foolish man. I was near the side of the house and I quickly lay down behind some bushes. I remember the sun was starting to go down. They stormed the house and dragged my father, my sister, and my mother outside. I had to keep my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming. Everything within me wanted to run and help them.”

  “That would have been foolish,” Parker commented as he took her hand in his.

  “They just shot my father then they, they did things to my sister and mother. I could barely see due to all my tears. Their screams were terrifying and then they were silent. I could hear the soldiers talking and wondering what happened to the other sister. I’d never been so scared in my life. They took everything left in the house and then threw torches inside. It was amazing just how fast the house burned down.” Tears began to fall, but she swiped them away.

  “They rode out as quickly as they rode in. I stayed where I was until Bently found me. I ran to my father first and took the gun he had in his waistband. I didn’t like the way Bently looked at me, and he knew where all of the valuables were. They slaves came running but they didn’t dare tangle with Bently.” Could she tell him this last part?

  “He tore my clothes off right there in front of everyone. He touched me… everywhere. I threw up and he backhanded me, and I fell onto the pile of my clothes and grabbed the gun. He’d just undone his breeches and was coming for me when I shot him dead.”

  Sobbing, she couldn’t help but shake. She could smell the sulfur from the gun mixed in with the smoke-filled air. There was complete silence afterward, and the next thing she knew she was covered with a man’s shirt.

  “Is that when you made the cookhouse your home?”

  His question jarred her out of her musing. “Yes, with the help of all the people on our land. I immediately freed them but I didn’t have any paper give them, papers proving their freedom at the time. Eventually I was able to do it for them all. A few left, but most stayed. They hid me every time either army stopped by.

  “But no matter which side came they thought the women were theirs to have. I have the blood of both Union and Confederate men on my hands. I wasn’t going to allow it. I armed everyone on the plantation and soon enough we were left alone until the war was over. I think they came to me first demanding money for taxes. I was surprised there wasn’t a price on my head.

  An oh-so-kind neighbor insisted they work the crop so he could take it. We’d planned to sell it out from under him, but we weren’t clever enough and he got to it first.”

  “One of the freedmen heard that there was big news for slaves in the paper and brought it back for me to read. The war was over and the slaves were free. They continued to get the paper and have me read it to them. One day I saw your mother’s ad. I divided up everything of value.”

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nbsp; She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I don’t want you to think I sat in the cook house. I worked the fields, the garden. I cooked and chopped wood. I defended what was mine and I buried many men.”

  Parker put his arms around her, and that made her feel safe. That life in Tennessee was gone now. Her heart didn’t feel so heavy anymore. He laid them down and he cradled her to him. Even though he didn’t love her, he cared.

  Chapter Ten

  Parker eased out of bed, went down to his study, and paced back and forth for most of the night. She’d been through more than he could have possibly imagined. Since she’d been a virgin, he thought she’d been spared the worst part of war for women. Oh, but what a woman she was. She had risked her life to help everyone on the plantation. Most women would have searched for an available man to take care of them but not his Georgie. She was one of a kind.

  What was the key to her heart? She’d allowed and even enjoyed limited intimacy while they traveled in the wagon. Then everything had gone downhill. She’d been so strong for so long and when they married, he’d told her she was safe but she hadn’t been. She’d been treated worse by his mother and Taggart then any soldier could have.

  Didn’t she realize that when he said he loved her he had meant it? He stopped in mid-step. When was the last time he’d told her? Blast it! He hardly ever told her. No wonder she had left without leaving a note. He planned to court her, but he never got around to it. He’d have to do better. They could have a loving marriage if he could get all the misunderstandings cleared up. Apparently, the greatest one of those was that he didn’t love her.

  She still didn’t like being touched, but it wasn’t from the overseer’s assault on her; it was from the whippings she survived in this very house. He’d take every opportunity to touch her as he could. She’d get used to him, wouldn’t she?

  What if the whole problem was she didn’t, couldn’t love him? He started pacing again. She loved him once; he’d have to try for a second chance. He was a clueless fool. He left her in bed alone too much.

  He went to their room and took off his clothes. He stared down at her face, lit only by moonlight coming in the window. She looked so serene, untainted by the world. She was beautiful, but for some reason she didn’t seem to realize it.

  He slipped under the covers and spooned Georgie pulling her as close as possible. She was so soft and warm against him and now holding her he couldn’t imagine being upset with her. She stirred and he kissed her temple, rubbing his cheek against her soft hair until she sighed and snuggled against her pillow.

  It was torture to just hold her when he desired her so much, but he got a hold of himself and eventually fell asleep.

  She was still in his arms when he woke the next morning. As soon as he opened his eyes, he could see that she was awake. He tightened his embrace, and she placed one hand on his arm.

  “This feels nice.” She turned in his arms and stared into his eyes. “I don’t want any more bad feelings between us. I know you don’t have it in you to love me, but we can try to make the best of it, don’t you think?”

  Before he could refute her assertion that he couldn’t love her, she was out of bed, and his ability to speak failed him. He’d tell her the truth later in the day. Right now, the view was too incredible to interrupt. He did wince when looking at the scars on her back. But he hadn’t known Taggart had it in him to be so evil. If he ever caught up to him…

  “Eggs or pancakes?” She smiled shyly.

  He grinned at her. “I have to say your pancakes are heavenly.”

  “Pancakes, then. I’ll get busy. See you downstairs.”

  He’d have given anything to have been able to pull her back into bed. Patience, he’d need to dig deep to gather all of his patience. He hoped he had enough. But she was wrong about him not having it in him to love. He loved her enough for both of them.

  He hurried and got dressed and shaved. He planned to kiss her and wanted his face to be smooth. He was nervous and he almost laughed at himself. She made him feel young and unjaded.

  After he made it downstairs, he stood in the kitchen doorway just watching her at the cook stove. In three long strides, he was behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck, behind her ear, and finally her cheek. “Those smell good.”

  “I don’t think you’ll like them burned,” she teased.

  Her lighthearted voice made his heart soar. “If it means I get to hold you like this all morning I wouldn’t care if they were charred on both sides.”

  Her laugh was melodious, and he let her go. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into you this morning but go pour yourself a cup of coffee and sit down.” She shook her head at him while her smile widened.

  “If you insist.” He did as she said and then sat at the table. “Did you know your hips sway in a very womanly way when you move? It’s hard for me to concentrate when I watch.”

  She quickly turned around. She shook the spatula at him. “You are no gentleman, Mr. Eastman.”

  He chuckled. “I never claimed to be, Mrs. Eastman.” He waited until she put all the food on the table before he pulled her down onto his lap. “You are the prettiest filly I ever did see.”

  She turned her head to meet his gaze. “Filly? I’m hoping that’s some type of Texas compliment.” Her eyes were filled with humor.

  He thought his heart might burst, looking at her. “It’s a compliment of the highest order. I do wonder why you shy away from compliments, though.”

  “Compliments were always meant for my sister, never for me, and I guess I just don’t know how to receive them. Parker, I do know how to view myself in a mirror, and I already know I’m plain to look at. It’s fine, really. I’ve been told so all of my life, and I’ve accepted it as fact.”

  He turned her so she sat sideways almost facing him. Cupping the sides of her face, he pulled her in for a kiss. He started with a light, slow kiss, and when he heard her little groan, he claimed her lips as his own. He deepened the kiss, and his heart pounded painfully against his ribs when she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  Pulling away, he was touched at the dazed look in her eyes. “I have a few things I need to get done, but I’ll be home early. Maybe we could go riding together.” Her answering smile was all he needed.

  “I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been feeling better for days.” She stood. “Do you want more coffee?”

  He got out of the chair and encircled her with his arms then kissed her cheek. “No, the sooner I head out, the sooner we can go for a ride.”

  Georgie spent a big portion of her day sewing. She turned a full brown skirt into a divided skirt for riding. Sewing was easier when she wanted to do it. Plus it was really altering the skirt, not creating one from scratch. Putting it on, she was amazed that the length of both sides of the skirt were just about the same.

  Confidence that had once deserted her now filled her. She had to take back what was hers. She was a survivor and could do whatever was necessary to stay alive. She’d allowed Taggart and Millicent to steal it from her. Taking it back felt wonderful, and somehow gave her a sensation of having power. She need not doubt herself.

  Most of what happened had been out of her control. Parker’s too for that matter. They were stronger together than apart. And besides all that, he was a good kisser. He was good at other things too. Her face heated as she thought of their intimacy, which had led to the creation of their child. They could try again.

  He was showing her a lot of affection. A brave move considering he had no real way of telling how she’d react. Hopefully, he’d be home soon. Spending time together could only help. Her heart fluttered; he really thought her pretty.

  She was pulling on her brown leather boots when Parker walked in. His smile lit the whole house. He didn’t seem to be as nervous as she.

  “Are you ready, Mrs. Eastman?”

  “I’m all yours, Mr. Eastman.” She blushed when he cocked his right brow.

  “Th
e horses are saddled. I thought we’d ride to the highest point on the ranch. The view is amazing.” He took her hand, entwined his fingers with hers, and led her outside.

  The sun seemed brighter than ever, and the grass greener. It must be due to the joy in her heart. For a moment, her natural urge to guard her heart and withdraw was strong but she fought herself and won. She wanted to experience happiness even if it didn’t last.

  When they reached the barn, Parker separated his hand from hers. He stepped inside and came back out with his arm behind his back. “I have something for you.” He grinned and brought forth a bouquet of sunflowers. “These are for you.”

  She took the flowers and stared at them.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked his voice full of doubt.

  “Oh, no. It’s just that I’ve never received flowers before. I’m…stunned.” She touched the soft yellow petals. “Thank you so much.” She hugged the flowers to her chest. He made her feel like a young girl again. “I never realized just how wonderful it is to receive flowers from a man. My sister would have known how to bat her eyelashes, smile, and say thank you. I’m a bit backward in the man department.”

  She took a step toward him and tugged on his shirt until he was low enough for her to kiss. How much of a kiss was appropriate? Perhaps a quick one would do. As she started to let him back up, he put his arms around her, pulled her to him so their bodies touched, and deepened the kiss.

  When he was done, she stood there and stared at him. “I, um, I…I think I’ll put these in water. I’ll be right back. She raced to the house. He must think her dim witted. She hurried and put them in a can filled with water and practically walked on air back out of the house.

  Parker had led the horses to the front porch. Before she even had a chance to think, he placed his big hands on her waist and lifted her up. Her divided shirt was perfect. It was already a great day. After making certain she was settled in the saddle, he mounted Mine and off they went.