Yoshiwara

by Eve Kaan

  At the moment when my body almost reached its pleasurable bliss, I squeezed the delicate hill between my two fingers to hold it, knowing that I couldn't hide my climax lurch from her gaze. Everything finally stopped at the sound of a knock.

  The game was interrupted by Madam. 'Forgive me for the intrusion. We have a problem with the well, please come it's urgent.'

  ✽✽✽

  Uta

  Rin took a small bag full of gold. She stood up to go towards Madam but stopped in front of me with some unusual dreamy look in her eyes. 'Uta, you danced wonderfully. Here is the tip that I have been obliged to give you.' I thanked her during our departure.

  I'm running back home in ecstatic state enthralled by previous events. She invited me again, I'll be happy if I see her even only for a moment next time. I'm not sure how it all works in the Great House, but in our homes, Mother is always present at the party until the intimate part takes place.

  The sent of jasmine followed me all the way through my running. I want to spend as much time as possible with her. Upon entering hastily into our reception room, I saw Utano. She is lying on the futon in yukata under which Mother held her hands, beside them placed some medicine preparation for her burn. After taking one deep breath, I blathered, 'In three days I've been invited to a party in the Great House!' They were staring at me with shocked expressions visible all over their faces. Mother pulled her arms from under the yukata, and Utano sat upright. The air smelled like when we have night visits, maybe some of the clients come earlier.

  'Uta, what is that you're wearing?' Asked Mother.

  Utano replied instead of me, 'We all know what kind of attire is that. She is dressed in a kimono for meeting with Respected lady, at least that was the way they would prepare us for a visit with Etsu.'

  Tea was served on the table. Dehydrated from my running, I drank it in two sips. I sat beside them retailing nearly everything from the Great House, except of course the part of how I actually felt. Mother thought it was a good time to bring out the sake, expressing her satisfaction with the news. 'New mistress is everything opposite to the old Etsu. This almost seems like Yoshiwara came upon the golden age of its reign.' After two large gulps of sake, she got up and went to the tailor's shop. Utano and I are now left alone.

  'I didn't want in front of Mother about the tip.' I said to Utano, pulling a duffle bag out of my obi. She took out the golden coins and started counting. I couldn't hold myself back, 'Utano, she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. When she enters the room, I feel as if all the air vanishes, and the temperature rises to the heat. Her slight gaze is enough to cause a quaver in my lower abdominal area,' she was still counting, so I continued, 'her scent - as if out of this world - overtakes me whole, like a dream that can overwhelm all of your senses and take you in a swift moment of inadvertence.'

  She placed the last coin on a pile and said surprised, 'Uta, do you know how much gold is here?'

  I didn't think about that. 'Enough for a kimono - maybe?'

  Utano became serious. 'Uta, my annual earnings are here. If you continue like this, soon you could go to freedom. And this whole tip is from your unintended client?'

  The word of freedom brought me out of my trance, leaving only worrisome thoughts as the aftertaste of my dreamy state. 'I'll never see her again - if I'm free...' I caught myself saying that out loud.

  She suddenly changed expression. 'What are you talking about Uta!? Uta! It's just youthful enthusiasm, she's only the first lady who gave you attention. Are you aware that you are only the earning tool for her? She is planning to sell you for a pile of golden coins - using you like she's using the rest of us, as you should already know. You are naive as if it's your first time stepping a foot in Yoshiwara.'

  Her words aching like a slap, I lowered my head, and as much as I tried to restrain myself, a tear still slid in the end. Utano hugged me. 'Calm down, don't be sad. It's normal to be enthralled, but don't forget what we are and who is she. It's nice of her to look after you, she could've kept silent about the tip you got. Come on, don't cry little sister - nobody's worthy of those sweet tears.' She held me and dandled while I sobbed. 'See now, you're all puffy and redden. You look like a little crab. Come on. Let's get you out of these clothes, and we can practice some dance moves if you'd like, deal?'

  She helped me with kimono. We folded the fabric neatly so it could be returned in three days. I felt the sorrow that suffocates me. Utano is right, after all, I'm just naive. I want to banish the thoughts that are making me feel this way.

  We practiced dancing until the stars in the sky were glistening brightly. All exhausted I lied on my futon, sinking into a deep slumber until just another ordinary morning unfurled like any other day. I ate breakfast and drank tea - my usual practice. I've been waiting for time to pass until the entertainment night would occur, to get rid of the job I got. Let someone take advantage of me already so I can begin my work with Utano. Only gold interests me. I'm merchandise the same as a few grams of tea, spices and everything else we use every day. There's no difference between us and the object. I would rip out my heart out if only I would stay alive afterward. As an ordinary commodity, I shouldn't feel anything. They should've buried me under the ground when grandmother died. Sold for a piece of silk and forever condemned - that's my life. Well, I need the golden coins to turn myself from goods into a human being. I will be a night lady who will accept every customer. Gold will build my way out of these streets.

  ✽✽✽

  Tonight is the party I've been waiting for. After lunch, Kaoru decided to rearrange her room and asked us for help. Enthusiastically she planned, 'I thought I'd put new curtains, these old ones are boring - they're on my window since last summer. I would like to move the table to the opposite corner, it will make more space...' On this part, I stopped listening to her. She bothers herself with trivial things. To think that bedroom remodeling will change her current lifestyle. Just for whom is she making an effort anyway - for the ladies who look at her like she's a piece of meat... It would do her better if she was to save that gold. 'Uta!' Kaoru's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. 'What's wrong with you, why aren't you answering me? Hmm? I thought to ask you if you're free tomorrow to go with me at a tailor's to pick up new linen fabrics, and I can also try the kimono I ordered last week...' I wasn't listening to her, just want with everything so she would leave me alone sooner. At that, I spoke, 'Well, I'll go, we are all free like birds' - in a cage, I thought.

  Mother got excited a little. 'Uta, is something going on?'

  I looked at her without emotions. 'What would be going on... As you all know, absolutely nothing is going on with me. I'm the only night girl in Yoshiwara with whom nothing's happening.'

  Suddenly, Utano sharply cut me off, 'Uta! Be silent, this instance. Come on, we're going to the room. Some rest will do good for you.'

  Kaoru and Mother watched me wide-eyed. 'What are you looking at me like I'm a freak?' I thought in my head, but for Utano I decided to keep it to myself although the truth behind my silence was obvious. We are not girls, nor we are women, yet only the slaves of these streets. She took my hand and led me up to the stairs. The moment we stepped into my room she started, 'Are you insane? Do you want Mother to go to the Great House? Do you want her to tell Madam how you're behaving? You want that!!? You forgot what they do to such girls. In front of Mother, you always have to be properly respectable. If you continue with this behaviour, they will proclaim you neurasthenic, than close you in an institution out of Yoshiwara where freedom exists only on the level of myth. I understand you're hurt by the meaning of your own existence, but you have to compose yourself.'

  I walked to the window in silence, watching the peaceful sight of our garden. 'You're right. For a moment there I forgot where my place is. However - has she returned your golden coins?' Utano was silent. I turned to her. 'Did Mother give you back the gold she took?' Still, she was silent. I went back to the window. 'Ah, alright. I see - she hasn't. That's your ea
rnings, she doesn't have any right to claim it. '

  Utano went towards the door. 'She'll return it, we just haven't talked about this matter yet.' I came forward and squeezed her arms gently in assuring way. 'Don't worry sister, I will earn each and every lost coin back. Nobody can do anything to her, there's no one to whom we can complain – I'm aware of her position. Soon, Yoshiwara will remain only a bitter memory for us.'

  She looked into our hands saying, 'She'll give it back to me, I know she will...' then continued after a short break, 'I've prepared you a kimono, as a gift - a week ago. Mother picked it up yesterday when she visited tailors parlour. I'll come later to help you with preparations.'

  Later that afternoon I was dressed in a beautiful red tones kimono with a pattern of white jasmine leaves. Kaoru and Hana fastened my hair up in a bun tied with few silver combs, and Utano arranged several flowers in it. Really, like a small piece of art I was. Preparations are over and the only thing left is for me to take the case with hand fans and parcel in which the kimono from the Great House was coiled.

  Sun is setting as the bright moon slowly ascends above it. It's time to leave. I had spent every moment, since I saw Rin, in my gloomy thoughts - although after a few moments I remembered how much craving she awakened in me when I served the tea to her. But then, Utano's words were stronger than my illusions about the lady with whom I would feel ecstatic during my innocence lose.

  I was headed to a pleasure entertainment hoping I wouldn't bump on a familiar face that would notice my obi tied up as if I were a debutant.

  Large pots are standing in front of the Great House, from which lemon trees are arising. They added ribbons to the crowns of nearby trees and prepared torches along the lake to lighten the path when darkness prevails. There are no carriages in front of the house. I may have arrived too early, according to the quietness of this place, as if nothing is happening - I assumed. There's no one in the foyer either. I stood there hoping to catch some voices in the surrounding area. After a while, I went up on the stairs to return the kimono in a room where I was dressed for a meeting last time. I knocked, but there is no answer. The doors are a bit ajar, so I let myself inside and laid the kimono on a small table in the corner just below the window. There's no use in being upset about the early arrival, better be it this way than coming late. I'm here to do a job, and the rest is not in my area of ​​concern. A foyer is a good place for waiting. I went out into the corridor, and with these thoughts started walking toward the stairs.

  'Uta!', It was her voice. I turned to look at her. She is standing with the cigarette in elegant movements. No other woman can even compare to her beauty. I stayed awestruck for a moment but then composed myself. There is nothing special about me for her, I exist here so she can make gold on me. I know where my place is and how to behave.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Rin

  'Respectable lady, I apologize if I came too early. I don't want to impose on you - while you work. Let me wait for the beginning of a party in the foyer so I wouldn't disturb your preparations.' Uta said with a tone of voice I did not recognize. She sounded confident, without gentle apprehension. Nevertheless, I felt my own heart beating because of seeing her. She looks magnificent in a kimono with golden edges.

  'There may have been a misunderstanding. I have invited you to come when the moon flashes like a lantern.' I said with a smile, pretending to have forgotten what I told her previously. She seems confused, yet I continued to pretend that she understood it all wrong because I didn't want her to find out that I wanted to spend time with her. 'I can't let you wait alone in the foyer, come to me, and we'll have some tea.'

  'Respectable lady, I apologize once again.' she said humbly in one breath, without hesitation. We walked into the room where I enjoyed our time together yesterday. There was tea already waiting on the table, I had it prepared for our meeting.

  'Uta, please serve us.' Holding a cigarette, I moved to the same place as I had seated on before.

  'There's a napkin missing on the tray, Respectable lady.' she said without fear. Maybe it's just that she is tense, and if I give her time to relax, she will act the way she did when I first met her.

  'You are skilled enough. For girls with your craftsmanship, a napkin is just an obstacle.'

  'You are right, of course.' Uta didn't even look at me. Just how full of self-confidence is she today? The last time she spilled me all over and didn't release that napkin from her hands until the dance. But now she is sitting straight and so far away from me as if I was the source of infection. Uta grabbed a teapot without trembling, flawlessly pouring the tea, and mixing the sugar in just a few swift movements of a teaspoon. Without even me realizing what's happening she had already brought a saucer to my lips. This seemed like a service of an unknown girl, or worse, it was as precise and cold as our Madams personality. There's no trace of my quiver that she caused me to have yesterday. From the technical side, she served me better than the last time, not even a drop has escaped this time.

  'Uta, is everything all right with you today - you seem all tense?'

  'Did I serve you incorrectly? I am sorry if I offended you in some way. That was not my intention.' It sounded severe, but there was a small amount of arrogance in the background of those sentences. 'I'm here to serve well.' She didn't give me the space to react and just went on. 'Did you choose the lady to whom I will be given? I need the golden coins so it would be convenient to get along with it tonight. It doesn't have to be a lady of manners, please give me the first one who offers a decent amount so I can begin with my earning.' I was shocked, and it's not easy to shock me. Yesterday I gave her a significant amount of gold, larger than the rent that Gina and Nori receive during the spring. I see that she has already bought herself a kimono, accessories, maybe even these fens in a silver box that she brought. How could I even think that she might be different, her only interest is gold. Through my head passed a thought for a few times that she wants to spend her first night with me because of the way she treated me the other day. Everything was about gold, it would be a perfect opportunity for her. Of course, I have no reason to feel upset. Gold is everyone's motivation. Tonight will be granted what she had asked for. It's not like we have much of choice now in the selection of ladies, but they offer decent amounts, and if she has nothing against it, why should I be bothered.

  'We have good offers, Uta. Don't worry - tonight you could get a decent sum of coins.' I responded sharply.

  'I'm very grateful, Respectable lady.' The servile tone remained. I've allowed too much to this girl, how could I be so weak. I don't want to waste my time anymore, more important work than this absurd chat awaits me.

  'Uta, I'm done with the tea. You are free to wait for a party in the foyer, there you won't be in a way to anyone. Pay attention to the set time in the future, clients are not inclined to tolerate the girl coming to them earlier.' I said drily after the last sip.

  'Please take my apologies and thank you, Respectable lady.' Without looking me in the eyes, she just got up and left. What an impudence! There is nothing to thank me or apologize for, she should better watch her behaviour. She is obviously unaware to whom she's talking to, with just one word I can delete her from this place! I can throw her on the street where she'll be a simple moll, a prostitute!

  'Madam!!!' I shouted.

  'Yes, Respectable lady.' She was in front of me in a few moments. 'I will not attend the party tonight. Prepare one of the rooms. We will sell Uta tonight.'

  Madam turned to me, confusion written all over her face, 'Respectable lady, to whom have you intended her? Is there another client coming? We've only prepared five places. You told me that tonight we will not give her to anyone, regardless of the offered amount. These clients are not very trustworthy.'

  I feel my blood boiling from anger, but I said very calmly, 'Are you contradicting me!? Take care of your responsibilities. None of my own decisions concerns you. We will sell her to one of those five who offers the largest amount. Nev
er again... Never question my decisions ever again!'

  She cringed. 'Receive my apologies, Respectable lady. Am I now free to go?'

  What's with this world, who do they think they are talking to - we are not the same species. Nervousness caused me to stand and walk back and forth, then I saw the shungas above the table, on the wall and heat consumed me again. 'What about these shungas?! I told you I don't wont to look at them. Get it off the wall right now!!! Where are the other ones that you should have prepared for tonight?! Do I need to look at them on my wall every day - wait for them to rot so you would remember to replace them with the new ones!? Your job really is hanging on a thin thread, Madam. Do I have to repeat myself about everything!?' She rushed towards the shungas and removed them from the wall.

  She was looking at the floor and said, 'Please, the girls didn't tell me that you need new shungas. Did you bring others to put them in empty places?'

  What an inability! 'What others, what are you talking about?!! Take it off the wall and put any others that are already in frames.'

  She ran out. Just as I smoked a much-needed cigarette and calmed the headache - she had caused just now, a little bit, one of the girls along with Madam entered. She began to put some vulgar shungas on the wall. Again my blood started to boil. 'What is this?! Does my office look like a meeting place for the girls and their clients to you?! Remove these perversions from my wall - immediately!!!'