Yoshiwara

by Eve Kaan

  'Yeah, yes - she got what she deserved, right away. Ri... - I mean Respected lady immediately came into the room and grabbed her by the hair dragging old crone out of the room. She didn't allow her to hurt me in spite of the gold.' I was surprised that Utano didn't have a comment on it. Didn't she notice that I'm more important to Rin then her earnings? 'She was furious, and she told her to never come back.' Now I'm slightly exaggerating, but just to get a reaction - I'm awfully tense. Utano caressed my back, with her eyes locked in the direction where the doors are located.

  'Good Uta, she better throw her out. Why didn't you come home after that? Where were you till noon?' She accepted Rin, I saw it through her pleased reaction. Still, I feel like I'm on thin ice for now.

  'I was frightened, so Respectable lady comforted m. I didn't even think about coming back. She told me to stay overnight. But don't worry, they dumped that vicious creature a-a-and... The respected lady was my personal guardian.' Yet again, there is no reaction at all. 'And she held me, cuddling with me a little bit - only to calm me.' Utano stopped her caresses on my back, but her hands stayed in place.

  'Aha, and what were you doing in the morning? Did you, perhaps, have breakfast with your Respected lady after she invited you to join her under the sun?' What a relief I felt, she always understood me.

  In a blink of an eye, I stood upright. 'Yes, how did you know? She was very tender to my needs, very gentle, maybe even a bit more gentle...'

  Rather than smiling, she made a firm conclusion. 'It's all clear to me now. I understand why you were lying to Mother. You fell in love with some fantasy, she's not what you're imagining. Well, hopefully, this is some minor liking. We can't allow ourselves to have such feelings - it only leads to endless suffering.'

  'Why would it lead to suffering? I think she likes me too. It's not impossible for two people to fall in love, that's normal.'

  'Of course Uta it's possible. You're still young, and it's understandable that you don't see this world as it really is. Perhaps it's even better for you to feel this way at your young age, it will pass - just don't keep on with that delusion.'

  I'm not sure if she angered me or made me sad. 'And why do you think I'm deluded? She wouldn't spend all night and morning with me if she has no feelings.'

  'You're just a game for her. She enjoys that you look at her with those eyes of yours. If she really wanted you, don't worry - you would come back from there as a woman. Even if she did sleep with you that would only mean that she used you. So you see - there must be some truth in the circulating stories about her difference from her lascivious predecessor Etsu. I guess there was enough dignity in her not to go all the way with you. Consider your self lucky – otherwise, she would have broken your heart. Forget about her, you're not the same kind.'

  She continued to classify shungas. At first, I just stared at her, thinking about whether to tell her something or not. In the end, I gave up and continued with vulgar scenes sorting.

  We went on in complete silence.

  Utano had always been so stubborn about love emotions. As if she knew what that was like, she was never in love with someone in the first place. It is sad that a person in her age hasn't experienced the emotions that would make one's heart go faster. Rin could've made love to me, I made it clear to her - and I was the one who initiated everything, but she refused me like a real lady. I'm not sure why. Maybe I was too open or she just doesn't have the same feelings...

  Images of all our encounters are passing in front of my eyes. I stopped at the scene when she went with two girls from the ceremony - I wonder if she passionately enjoyed with them? I'm doing that again, always so negative, bothering myself with nonsense. Regardless of anything, I enjoy being in her presence, the way she's treating me. That is quite enough for me, although I hope our connection is mutual.

  By the end of our shunga session, we barely exchanged a few sentences, each of us being in their own thoughts. She shrouded me into my sheets before sleep and gently said, 'Keep your big heart for true love when you would be free. And now it's best to forget about it. I love you, Uta!' She kissed my forehead. 'Sweet Dreams.' I hugged her and replied. 'Love you too, more than anything.' After our long embrace, she went out. She said that I should keep my heart for the time when I would be free, my sister doesn't understand feelings. A heart can't choose when and with whom to be in love with. Still, one thing Utano raveled to me - for the first time in my life I fell in love.

  ✽✽✽

  Rin

  If only I could have Uta on my chest tonight as well. I wish to keep her in my arms forever. And with these thoughts, my bed feels empty to me for the first time.

  I always considered myself to be a person of not so many emotions, and then she awakens this new side that I didn't even know existed. When she's near me - it's like I'm a completely different person. My unfamiliar new side seems like some of a stranger. Now I understand why people indulge themselves in passion. That need, in this form, didn't exist in me till now. I'm not sure if she has awakened all of my previous existing senses, or created them with her existence around me. On the other hand, I'm afraid of everything I feel - I don't know the person I'm turning into.

  If our connection isn't mutual, I would rather accept last night's events as a reflection of her fear and alcohol, than a desire for gold. That thought tortures me.

  ✽✽✽

  Uta

  It's challenging to move around the room 'cause of the enormous piles of shunga we sorted yesterday. I constantly stumble upon them while trying to arrange myself for a visit to the Great House. I'm not sure if I'll see her. I have to restrain myself not to overdo with dressing up, I don't want to be obvious. Maybe she would call me for lunch if I meet her, or for some tea, however, I would be content even with an invitation for a short walk in her strawberry garden.

  I want to wear a decent kimono, but I don't have anything she hasn't seen me in already. Utano has a lot of beautiful kimonos. After all, ladies always present her with expensive pieces that are making her closet full, so she storage them everywhere. It'll be suspicious to ask her for borrowing a kimono. I told her that I need to pick up that kimono I sent to tailors parlor. Kaoru also possesses plenty of them, but she hasn't returned yet from the client where she has been since yesterday. How would I borrow someone's things without asking? Hmm... if I were to take her piece of fabric on my own, I could change kimonos in the Great House, when I get my old one, so Kaoru would never find out, even if she comes home before me. I'll just put it back in her closet without anyone seeing me. She surely wouldn't notice one of them missing in that full closet of hers. Well, I had it all sorted out. The only thing left is the question of how to get, carefully, out of the house unseen, in that borrowed clothes.

  I devoted my morning to waiting for the right time for realizing my plan, and luckily everyone just minded their own business, which gave me an excellent opportunity for my mischievousness.

  Rin said the kimono would be done by the afternoon. Now it's almost noon, I'm impatient. Actually, it's not even close to noon. I'm dressed up and now waiting. This Kaoru's kimono fits like my second skin. Its maroon color points out my pale skin and dark hair bent in a simple hairstyle. Maybe I could change my hairstyle - I'm not happy with this profile, and It's too many flowers. It would be best to fold up the hairstyle on the other side, but also I must reduce the number of decorations.

  After rearranging some things in my appearance, the appointed time became closer, so I decided to set off. I'm nervous. Will I get there too early if I go now? I'll stroll - can't stand it anymore. It's the least problem to wait if kimono hasn't arrived by my arrival.

  ✽✽✽

  Rin

  Gina is tirelessly waving with the hand fan. Humidity in the carriage feels almost unbearable. This weather is more similar to summer than the spring. Nori spread herself across from us through the entire length of the seat. Fortunately, we managed to launch earlier than needed in the Great House, and that means I will
have enough time to get washed from all this sweat before Uta comes. My skin is very sticky right now.

  'Rin, my hand got tired - hold on to that hand fan, I've been cooling us for centuries. Now it's your turn.'

  'I can't, Gina. It's too hot, and I'm all sticky.' I pushed the hand that is offering the fan to me away.

  Nori added, 'I don't understand why we're driving in this carriage with closed windows. Where's the summer carriage? Rin, it's your fault that we can't breathe.' Gina slammed the roof and shouted at the tranter to speed up the horse.

  The heat dozed me, I've lost the energy for talking, but I still responded, 'We don't have a summer carriage, this isn't Europe. I just ordered it, and no one knew it would be this hot at this time of the annual cycles.'

  The carriage stopped. 'I'm all sticky and messy.' Nori started to complain as she stepped out.

  Gina retorted, 'Stop complaining, we'll take a bath now. It's hot to us all, you're not the only one.'

  We entered the Great House, refreshment of the cold air in the foyer immediately easing us. It's still some time before noon, I have just enough time to refresh before Uta comes. Gina and Nori have already launched ahead to the place with baths.

  'Madam!' I shouted. She comes to my presence immediately. 'Tell the girls to prepare us the baths, two yukatas and a kimono for me - and don't pour the scented oils. They always overdo with them, then the whole upper floor smells for three days,' I lowered my voice, 'Uta will come around noon, don't let her go before she meets with me. Find me wherever I am and bring her to me, you don't have to announce her beforehand. I have a lot of work to do, most likely she will find me in my quarters.'

  Madam lowered her eyes from my face. 'We can only fill one pool because of the problem we had with the well, refilling is much slower since they cleaned it.'

  In the last couple of our encounters, I was a bit rough with her, she seems to be afraid of something. 'It doesn't matter, Madam. Fill one then, it will be enough.' She showed relief with a deep breath then went away in a hurry. 'And let someone water the garden, it will all wither in this heat!' I shouted while climbing the stairs.

  Nori was already in the pool, and the girls were still filling it with water. 'What a refreshment.' She contently smiled. 'Please fetch us a bottle of cold sake and some fruit.' Gina requested. I couldn't wait to get rid of the sweaty kimono I'm wearing. I went into the pool with them feeling the blood flowing up to my head.

  Finally, I'm completely refreshed. Gina and Nori are lying on top of each other as usual.

  'Lower your passion, you're not alone in here. My eyes are overwhelmed with your groping and cuddling of each other's breasts. I'm not blind. We have as many rooms here as you want, let me relax in peace for a while.' They are never over showing affection amongst themselves while I was around, but the sound of their kisses bothered me. I think I'm actually a bit envious. If I were in their places, I too would use this bath for a bit of gentleness with a special girl, who is floating through my mind right now.

  Gina turned to me. 'And you're posing here with those perfect breasts of yours - they are just giving me complexes.'

  I laughed at her complains. 'And Nori's breasts doesn't bother you, they're the biggest I've ever seen.'

  She turned her head toward Nori's chest. 'They give me pleasure, so I perceive them differently.'

  Nori cuddled her while lisping, 'Don't say that. Small breasts are sweet like sugar beans. You have no reason for complexions - you are very feminine.'

  The girls brought fruits and sake. Nori and Gina started eating strawberries from my garden in the pool. 'They're really sweet.' They said in unison. 'Oh, they are so sweet that my mouth dried, I need a sip of sake.' Gina laughed while taking the cup. Nori started to tease her. 'As if you need an excuse for sake, you drink it like water.' Gina retorted. 'And I see that you're holding water in your hand of course.' Nori splashed her, then she significantly looked at me. 'We have finished our job, it's time for pleasure. Rin, we chose you the girls with the best skills, believe me, you will be satisfied.'

  'I know, that's why I assigned you two for this job. It must have been very tiring, looking at exquisite girls from the house to house, enjoying their charms... Otherwise, you two are known by taking such situations very hard.'

  Gina became serious. 'It was a demanding job. You know that we only love to enjoy the dance part. After all, it wasn't how you think it was - it's hard to see so many girls in such a short time. We didn't visit all the houses, just chose the first five that suited the criteria for your dinner.' In a teasing manner, I waved my hand in disbelief. Nori took a sip of sake, and Gina lighted her smoking pipe. We stayed in silence with closed eyes, heads tossed backward exposing our elongated necks and dipped in water to the waist.

  Gina interrupted our relaxation, 'What are you going to do with that little Uta? You like her, admit it?!'

  I decided not to give importance to the question even though it stunned me. 'Well nothing, I told you already, I couldn't allow her to be abused.' Nori coughed. 'You just saved her, aha... so today's story goes that way. You've already forgotten that you told us about breakfast as well.'

  'I invited her to share breakfast with me out of politeness, she suffered great stress.'

  Nori laughed. 'Rin, admit that you like her, even just a little bit. We all know you never eat breakfast, just drink that coffee till noon. You took three chunks of that grain when we were coming back from Europe - because of which I had to be stiffed on my seat half of the way.'

  I was still playing indifference. 'Well, she is nice – and just so you know, that morning I only drank tea.' They both laughed. 'What is it now?'

  Gina was first to calm down. 'You drank tea? We spent ten years in Europe, and I saw you drinking tea like twice. We all know you're not a fan of our hot drink tradition.' I opened my eyes pointing them at her, but she continued. 'So that's it. You were pretending in front of her, not just about eating breakfast, but also about drinking tea. I don't know how you managed to overcome your coffee crisis that morning. You don't have to admit it, but we both know that you've never done this before. It's clear what exactly is going on here Rin.'

  I closed my eyes again, slanting my head backward. 'You're saying nonsense, nothing's going on.'

  There was a brief silence before Nori shocked me. 'Good, if that's what you say. We will not insist. But Rin, to whom will she be sold? Who is the lady who will enjoy her.' I am dumbfounded by the reminder, that completely slipped from my mind. Nori was still talking, '...some other lady will gently pull her kimono off, groping her all along while planting kisses over her body. Then she will put hands on the naked skin and slowly caress her eminent chest until...'

  'Enough!' I cut her off sharply and set up straight in the water. 'I like her,' then paused for a moment, '... a little bit. I don't want to sell her - actually, I will not sell her. I don't know what to do with it, didn't think about that.' They both became serious. I lightened the cigarette.

  Gina's began first. 'Rin, she's yours, you can do whatever you want with her.' Nori replied instead of me, 'You know Rin is not like that. Don't talk nonsense, no one is anybody's property here. This is an organized business that deals with pleasuring services,' she turned to me, 'Rin, you always said you weren't born for love. A heart doesn't choose the place nor time, it chooses a person despite the circumstances and rational decisions.'

  I nervously smoked. 'I don't know how she feels, and even if I thought it was mutual, I have to be sure she's not only in my gold interested.'

  Gina laughed. 'Your principles Rin have fallen fast into the water.' Nori looked at her with a frown. 'Stop with the rubbish, you're overstepping the teasing Gina. This is a serious matter in which we could've found ourselves in if the circumstances were different.' Gina lowered her head. 'I'm sorry, Rin, it was only a joke.' Nori kissed her with a little bit of encouragement and continued, 'And how will you ever be sure in her honesty? If you continue to keep your affection in secret, people wil
l begin to ask. The biggest problem will be at her home. Uta will become a girl who can't make a profit.'

  I was thinking about it, that's true. Soon she will be in great trouble, and my feelings will cause it. Gina was still ashamed but quietly said, 'You can start inviting her to parties and such in the Great House for a closed circle of girls. If she's good at dancing and serving, she'll do fine in entertaining the guests. Now you have the chance to invite her for the event outside of Yoshiwara, and everything is sponsored by the Great House anyway. Her Mother will be paid and guests there are generous with their tips - or so I've heard.' Nori seems delighted. 'That's right! And you will have a reason to spend a lot of time with her. Now she can join these girls that we have selected, Uta is exceptionally skilled in dance, no one would notice the difference between her and more experienced girls there.'

  I feel overjoyed with relief. 'What would I do without you?'

  Nori inhaled on the pipe and commented with the smoke blowing, 'You would be lost in these emotions,' she continued gently, 'I'm glad for you, Rin. Love is wonderful. I hope you will find a way to make sure her feelings are motivated by heart instead of gold.' They started splashing me with water and tease that their iceberg has melted.

  Suddenly, the doors opened - Uta standing there.

  'M-my apologies Respected lady, I-I... I didn't mean to...' she said confused, quickly turned and exited...

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Uta

  'Uta!?'

  I heard her say my name from the pool. Yet I resumed my rapid walk through the corridor, wanting to run, but what kind of impression would that leave. I'm not jealous. How could I be so foolish? Are those the same girls she went with after the ceremony? I don't recognize them without all the makeup, or those might be some other girls, and that's just her usual practice in intimacy - to have more than one girl for entertainment purposes.