Love, Lust & Friendship

by Elizabeth Stevens

  Tate and I shared a smirk.

  “Don’t even.” Ander pointed at me, knowing exactly what I was thinking, and I sniggered.

  I held my hands up as best as I could while still leaning on my elbows. “I wouldn’t dare.”

  His frown shook as he tried not to smile. “You so would, though. And, you owe me a new–”

  We all looked around as there was a great commotion in the quad where we saw a bunch of Year 12s pouring out of the common room and milling around taking pictures of each other in stupid poses.

  “And, thus begins Jumper Week,” Tate said solemnly, bowing his head, his fist to his chest.

  Jumper Week was a solid tradition at Basils. It was the week the Year 12s got their jumpers – with the name of every kid in the year level, their graduation year, and their nickname – and carnage was allowed to ensue for one week before the teachers put their collective feet down. Well, I say carnage; it was just a bunch of overly excited teenagers on the cusp of adulthood revelling in the thing that made them special for their last year of school. So, there were a million photos taken at every opportunity, there were the inevitable “my girlfriend stole my jumper” debacles, there were the following debacles where the girlfriend was passed over in favour of another girl who got the jumper, and on it went.

  Basils had waited seven years to see Topher in his Year 12 jumper and see what he’d do with it, so imagine the excitement when they realised he was going to have two! The previous year, Topher had kept a tight hold on his jumper and no one but him had worn it, in public at least. Last year’s design had been a bomber jacket style in the school colours. This year, from what I could see, it was more like a rugby jumper, still in the school colours obviously.

  “What’d Kit get on his this year?” Will asked as he opened his sandwich.

  “Dunno,” Ander and I replied at the same time.

  Topher had had the surprising and terribly original ‘Hendo’ on his jumper the year before. There were bets about what he’d have that year. Surprisingly, ‘Hendo’ for a second time was pretty high on the expectations list.

  “I’m still going with ‘Green Lantern,” Will said and we snorted.

  Will’s last name was Green and he was quite possibly the only person in the history of the world who thought the movie wasn’t God awful (as fantastic a human as the Mr Ryan Reynolds is…). But, honestly, it just endeared him to me more.

  “Of course you are,” I said to him with a smile.

  Tate was going to choose ‘Keep Walking’ because he thought it was ironic what with his last name being Hennessy and nothing to do with Johnnie Walker at all. Derek’s last name was Adams, so we’d started calling him ‘Gomez’ a few years earlier and he figured that was as good as anything. And, Ander and I were going to match. Mine was going to say ‘Addy and’ and his was going to say ‘er, Ander’. Year 12 was going to be epic.

  “You think Kit will give it up this year?” Derek asked.

  “Oh, I think that train left the station years ago, mate,” I scoffed.

  “You see, Derek, when a jackass who has no respect for women-kind and a naïve young girl really lust after each other…” Ander started and Derek snorted.

  “Yeah, yeah. You know what I meant.”

  Ander shrugged. “Who knows? The guy doesn’t really keep them around long enough to give them his jumper.”

  “Beware the tale of Nathaniel and his self-caused woe…” Tate said ominously.

  “That was…” I tried not to giggle. “That could have been worse,” I conceded.

  He gave me an acceding nod. “I don’t do dialogue.”

  “He might this year, though,” Will said, ignoring Tate’s theatrics. “Everyone knows the second one means shit all.”

  We all nodded in agreement. It was true. It was widely accepted that the Head Prefect had a closer connection to his first jumper than his second jumper given that was the year they’d gone through school with. So, if Topher was going to give anyone his jumper, it would be this year. We’d just have to wait and see who the unlucky girl was.

  Later that day, as I was on a bathroom break during class, I saw Topher. I gave him a smile because it’s polite and he grinned back.

  “You like them?” he asked, looking very pleased with himself.

  I shrugged. “Eh. Looks okay.”

  His face fell a little. “You don’t like them.”

  “Last year’s was cooler,” I said apologetically.

  His face brightened again. “Ah, but this year’s are better for summer.”

  “Which means they’ll be worse for winter.”

  He tried to scowl at me, but I could see the laughter tugging at his lips. “You just like to spoil everything, don’t you?”

  “For you, yes.” I stuck my tongue out at him and his smile broke free. “Go on. Show me what you got on it, then,” I said, spinning my finger to indicate he turn around.

  He did so rather dramatically and pointed at his jumper awkwardly. This year’s read ‘HeadBoy’. I don’t think I’d heard anyone suggest that, oddly enough.

  “Wow. Personal advertising. Nice,” I chuckled.

  “It was that or ‘Hendo4Head’.”

  “God, the choices,” I commiserated sarcastically and he flashed me a grin.

  “Well, they wouldn’t let me put ‘Head4Hendo’, so,” he shrugged, “you know.”

  I snorted. “I think I’ll side with the establishment on this one.”

  Topher’s mouth dropped open in mock-dismay. “Why?”

  “Because desperate grovelling just isn’t sexy, Toph.”

  There went that smirk that made my brain fizzle out a little. “Grovelling to get maybe. I’ve found grovelling to give is a winner.”

  I shook my head at him, but couldn’t find it in me to frown. “I don’t need to know your seduction formula. Thanks, though.”

  “You prefer it to be a surprise?” He winked.

  I huffed a laugh as the memory of kissing him slammed into me, and I tried hard not to think about how good it had felt. “Uh, no.”

  He rubbed his chin. “Yeah, you and surprises don’t really go. Mind you, if my usual formula worked on you, it wouldn’t have taken so long for you to kiss me.”

  I felt my mouth drop open in shock. “Excuse me? I recall you were the one who did the kissing, and it was to shut me up!”

  “So, you do remember.”

  I blinked and looked around. The school hallway was not really the place I’d wanted to do this. But, we were here now and it would be quicker to get it done now than put it off for a second time.

  “Of course, I remember. I’m surprised you do.”

  “Drunk or sober, you don’t forget a kiss like that.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “What? The one where you finally managed to shut me up?”

  He took a step towards me and my eyes snapped to his. “The one where you finally managed to shut me up.”

  I warmed all over and hoped I hadn’t gone red. I swallowed and tried to act unaffected because I knew he was talking about the second one and there was no way I could really forget that one.

  “What can I say?” I asked. “Alt girls just do it better.”

  There was this look in his eyes that drew me closer to him and made my breath catch. It was hot. It was humoured. It was dangerous. Mainly to my sanity. I wasn’t terribly worried about anything else just then.

  “I don’t disagree,” was all he said.

  God, I wanted to kiss him again. The thought was close to overtaking everything in me; I couldn’t think about anything else. But, a close second was thanks that all we were surrounded by were lockers so no one would see us acting weirdly. Last thing I needed was the school knowing there was something more between me and Hendo than Ander.

  “I should get back to class,” I said lamely.

  “Says the girl usually looking for any excuse to ditch?”

  “I have a su
dden insatiable interest in the Russian Revolution.”

  “You did always like ‘Anastasia’,” he answered like he didn’t believe me, but that didn’t make him wrong.

  “Or, I’d rather not have to talk to you for any longer than I have to,” I admitted.

  “There you go,” he said with a wry smile. “Truth wins out.”

  “I only lie to you when it’s necessary, Topher.”

  He smirked annoyingly. “Necessary?”

  I nodded. “Like just now it was polite. I didn’t want to dent your bubble on the first day of Jumper Week.”

  “How thoughtful of you. And, what would you say,” he leant closer to me, “if I asked if you wanted to kiss me again?”

  I kept my face as neutral as possible. “No.”

  “We’ll both pretend that’s not the ‘necessary’ answer, shall we?”

  I managed to frown at him quite well this time. “Screw you, Topher.”

  He winked as he started walking away from me, raising his arms. “You know where to find me. I’ll see you in the carpark after school.”

  I groaned in annoyance and went back to class, wishing I could forget that kiss, wishing he’d forget that kiss, and wishing that my little thing for my best friend’s older brother wasn’t starting to feel a whole lot less harmless.

  ****

  Jumper week continued with only minor scuffling between those involved and music blaring out of the common room from before school started until about four in the afternoon. The teachers let them, despite those closest to the common room needing to almost yell to be heard over it.

  Ander went to AV club on Monday and Wednesday as had become habit and, when I stayed at the Henderson’s, Topher let me drive to and from school. He even left his car at home. Which let me drive us all in the baby, but also meant that Ander had to sit in the back. Of course that didn’t work on the days Ander had AV club and I elected not to drive the manual Camaro.

  Topher constantly told me that it would be fine and it handled better than Ander and my car anyway. But, I didn’t care. The manual scared the willies out of me, and I was convinced that I’d end up scratching his immaculate paint job.

  We didn’t talk any more about kisses or necessary lies or anything that made my brain short out more than usual around him. Things were pretty well almost back to normal and I could get through a good two hours before I remembered that I’d kissed Topher and it might well have been what all the fuss was about.

  Naturally, I had to hear about Tess March far more often than I wanted to and, by Friday, I was so over it. If I had to hear about how nice Tess March was one more time, I was gonna…

  Okay, I wasn’t going to do anything but nod and listen and support. But, I was going to want to hit Ander over the head with more than a pool noodle, and repeatedly. Rest assured, I fantasised about it vividly and that was going to have to do.

  Because, of course, my continued not saying anything only gave Ander more reason to think I was okay with the amount I heard about her. The dude’s crush was getting out of control and, quite frankly, it sounded like she was encouraging it. I wasn’t a heartless bitch; if she legitimately liked him, then I was all for it. I was Team Ander, I’d even be Team Tess if it came to it. Lesson the first in Best Friend 101 was you had to love the other person’s chosen partner. At least it was only platonically, that I could deal with. Maybe.

  Ander seemed more likely to talk about Tess as the week progressed. So, when I heard my name being called and it was Liam the jackass, he was still preferable to walking into Ander’s never-ending Tess-talk earlier than I had to.

  “Liam, hey!” I said, smiling.

  “Hey, how are you?”

  I nodded, wondering what I’d ever seen in him. I mean, he was hot – I like to think I have taste, but that is up for debate – with his light brown hair all mussy and adorable, and those hazel eyes that twinkled when he flashed you his best smirk. But, all he was really was yet another pretty face hiding a mediocre teenage boy interior (not that my teenage girl interior was anything to rave about).

  “I’m fine. You?” I asked.

  “Good. I missed you at Hendo’s party.”

  Which was over a week ago now. He must have missed me so badly.

  I huffed a believable laugh. “Yep. See, I told Ander. I told him that the way you pushed Misty against the wall screamed you missing me. He didn’t agree, you know. But, I told him you just have a hard time showing your affections.”

  He at least had the decency to look somewhat chastened. “Uh… Yeah. Well, I can’t help the ladies want me, can I?”

  I fought against a mocking smile. “Not at all, Liam.”

  “Yeah, exactly. See, I knew you were cool, Addy. We good?”

  I nodded. “Sure. Why wouldn’t we be? You didn’t owe me anything.”

  His eyes made me think he knew there was a little something more owing than what he’d given after the way he’d been behaving, but I wasn’t going to stress about yet another crush going sideways. In fact, I think it would have been more concerning had it worked out. World gone topsy-turvy and all that.

  “Cool. Well, I’ll catch you around then?”

  I nodded. “That you will.”

  He had the audacity to give me a wink along with that cocky smirk before he walked away.

  “Do you think that might be why guys think they can walk all over you?” Ander asked, coming up behind me and draping his arm over my shoulder.

  “What are you insinuating, Alexander?”

  “Just that you come off as a walk-over. Guys know you won’t make a scene, so they don’t feel the need to treat you well.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think the threat of a scene is what makes them treat other girls differently. And quite frankly, if it is, then I’m pretty sure I don’t want them after all.”

  Ander shrugged. “I’m just saying, babe.”

  “Is this you bestowing rare insight as one of the elusive male species, or are you just being a misogynistic dick?” I asked, slipping out from under his arm.

  “I’m just saying that I get why guys maybe don’t feel the need to treat you well.”

  “Ugh. That is plainly horrifying. You seriously saying that you’d only treat a girl well if you knew she’d make a scene otherwise?”

  “No. Of course not. You treat someone right because it’s right. I can just see why someone like Jackass Liam might feel a different way…” He was fiddling with his shirt button so I knew he was just thinking out loud – he had a tendency to ramble complete crap when he did that and then get caught up in it while he was working out what he was trying to say. Which was usually the opposite.

  “Uh huh. So, to recap. It’s more likely that he just doesn’t actually see me as a girl like every other person at our school, therefore he doesn’t want to date me, rather than he’s not worried I’ll make a scene when he gets my hopes up then dashes them to pieces.”

  Ander paused, frowning as he thought. “Yeah probably.” He nodded.

  I nodded as well. “Super.”

  “If it really bothers you, you could…”

  “I could what, Alexander?” I pressed.

  He looked at me carefully and I could see he was rethinking whatever his ‘on the fly’ brain had been thinking. “Yeah, no. I’m not falling for that. Any end to that sentence gets me deservedly hit.”

  I whacked him anyway. “Yes it does.”

  He laughed as he put his arm around me again. “So, we’ll call number six another bust?”

  “I think it’s safe to say that I have no crush prospects right now, yes.”

  “Okay. So, Liam was a complete bust and my brother’s an even bigger jackass–”

  “Woah!” I said, pulling away and looking at him. “Why are we bringing him into this?”

  Ander shrugged. “Well, you kissed him, Ads. He’s got to go on the list.”

  “No. No. He doesn’t have to go on the list!�
� I said quickly.

  “He does. All crushes, kisses and more.”

  “Topher was a momentary lapse in drunken judgement, babe. He does not go on the list.”

  “Need I remind you of Tanya?” he asked with a grimace.

  Ander had hooked up with Tanya at a party the year before. She wasn’t a bad person, she was just a person that Ander happened to have nothing in common with and they had these weirdly clashing personalities. I guess they just rubbed each other the wrong way. Although, that night, they’d obviously rubbed each other up the right way since Ander had lost his virginity to her and she’d had nothing bad to say about him. They’d never spoken since, but neither of them seemed scarred by the experience.

  “That’s not the same.”

  “It is the same, babe. She went on the list despite the fact that we really don’t like each other.”

  “But, it’s…”

  Ander laughed. “Different because it’s Toph?”

  I nodded. “Yes. Besides, you had sex with her. I just…kissed him. After he kissed me!” I clarified quickly.

  “It’s the ‘crushes, kisses and more’ list, Addison. Not the ‘put whoever you consider acceptable’ list. You know how I feel about my first time being with Tanya, but I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen because it wasn’t ideal.”

  This was true. Ander had never thought it had to be special or perfect the first time, but he had wanted it to be with someone he liked. Tanya fit none of the boxes and it wasn’t like Ander regretted it really – he was really happy it was done and out of the way – but he did sometimes wish his first time had been a little less very-not-special.

  He was a lesson to me that your first time might not be ideal, but that didn’t make it wrong. And, despite the fact that I hated that he felt weird about it, I was glad one of us made the…well, not mistake, but that one of us had done it first and the other could learn from it. After all, I’d been the first one to Mary Poppins it out of the big tree when we were nine and broken my leg. In fact, I was usually the first one to do something that resulted in a broken bone. And, Ander was then saved broken bones by seeing it was a bad idea. Not quite the same, but he’d been the one to come up with the analogy first.