The Rancher's Return

by Kathy Douglass

When they reached Raven’s house, Donovan parked and turned to look at her. “I had a great time tonight.”

  “So did I.”

  “So where do we go from here?”

  “I don’t know. I guess the best thing to do is to take it one step at a time. And the first step is to tell Elias you’re his dad. No matter what, we’re going to have to be friends.”

  “Deal.” But friends didn’t kiss like that, did they?

  He helped her out of the truck and they walked to her front door. He resisted the urge to take her into his arms and kiss her like he wanted to. Instead he settled for a peck on the cheek. He waited until she’d unlocked the door and stepped inside before getting into his truck and heading home to his lonely bed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Raven hummed as she ran the comb through her hair. He’d kissed her last night. She’d anticipated that moment since she’d seen him get out of his truck looking like a man who’d gone the extra mile to appeal to his date. She paused. No, the truth was she’d dreamed of that kiss from the moment she’d seen him standing on her porch last week.

  The problem was that she was still trying to figure out whether their feelings were the real thing. Perhaps they were wondering what would have happened between them if the past ten years had played out differently. Whenever she thought of Donovan, the emotions of the past and the present got all twisted and she became confused, making thinking nearly impossible.

  Annoyed with herself, she put down her comb and pulled her hair into a ponytail. She’d somehow managed to turn a wonderful recollection into a jumble of confusion and worry. She’d better get herself together before her father got back with Elias.

  Her parents had been asleep when she’d gotten home, so she hadn’t been able to tell them about her decision to tell Elias that Donovan was his father until this morning. As expected, her mother had been opposed to the idea. If her father had an opinion, he’d kept it to himself. Instead he’d offered to pick up Elias from his friend’s house. They should be back in a few minutes. She expected Donovan to arrive at the same time.

  She heard her father’s truck in the driveway and went down the stairs and onto the porch to greet them. Donovan’s truck pulled up behind them. Before her father could come to a complete stop, Elias jumped from the vehicle and stormed up the stairs. The look on his face was one of pure rage. His face was contorted and his eyes flashed like lightning.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. She looked from her son to her father in search of an answer.

  “Liar,” Elias yelled. “You’re a liar and I hate you.”

  Raven froze. Elias pushed past her and went into the house, letting the screen door slam behind him.

  “What happened?” she asked her father, who was slowly climbing the stairs. Donovan was right behind him, concern etched on his face.

  Her father shook his head and looked at her and then at Donovan. “He knows Donovan is his father.”

  “What?” Raven’s knees weakened and she grabbed onto the banister for support. Donovan was there immediately, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her up.

  “How?” Donovan asked the question that was echoing through Raven’s mind.

  “We stopped by Polly Wants A Cookie to get some brownies and Cynthia Smith was there. It’s no secret to the people around here that Donovan is Elias’s father. Everyone knew you were dating when he vanished. Not to mention that Elias looks exactly like Donovan. Apparently she saw the three of you at the carnival and assumed Elias knew Donovan was his father. She said he must be glad his dad is back home.”

  “That old busybody,” Raven muttered. “Why can’t people just mind their own business?”

  “She didn’t mean any harm. She thought he knew.”

  Raven expelled a breath. “I understand. Not that it matters. What’s done is done. Now I have to try to clean up this mess.”

  “Not you,” Donovan said. “We. We have to straighten this out.”

  “Elias is upset,” Raven said. “It might be best if I talk to him.”

  “No. I’m his father. I’m not going to step aside and let you shut me out. If there’s a problem, we need to handle it together.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  Raven’s father raised his hands and backed up. “I’m going to let the two of you work this out. But I suggest you come to a decision soon. Elias is waiting.”

  After her father went inside, Raven turned to Donovan. “I’m not trying to shut you out. I just think that it would be best if I handled it alone. He may know that you’re his biological father, but you don’t have that type of relationship with him.”

  “And I never will if you keep pushing me aside. We need to start somewhere. We know better than anyone that we don’t get to choose what happens to us. We planned to tell him today, but someone else beat us to the punch. The only thing we can do now is deal with it. I’m ready to do that. Are you willing to let me be a real part of his life or are you going to keep trying to call all the shots?”

  Raven had thought she was prepared for how different things would be once Elias knew Donovan was his father. She wasn’t. Naturally it had occurred to her that she wouldn’t be in control all the time because she wouldn’t always be around. Elias and Donovan would spend time alone. But she’d thought she would have final say in Elias’s life. If she and Donovan disagreed, she’d have the last word. She’d been mistaken. Donovan wasn’t willing to take a back seat. Even now, when she knew best, he was unwilling to let her take the lead.

  “I think it’s best if I handle this alone.” She’d raised Elias for nine years and knew how to reach him. He was her son after all.

  “He’s my son, too.”

  “I know that. I just think it’s a mistake for us both to talk to him. It will look like we’re ganging up on him.”

  “We’re presenting a unified front. Besides, you’re kidding yourself if you think he won’t have questions for me. Only I can answer them.”

  Raven swallowed her retort. Going back and forth wouldn’t solve the problem. And clearly they weren’t going to agree. “Okay. You win. Let’s go.”

  Her heart grew heavier as they climbed the stairs to Elias’s room. Though she didn’t condone the way Elias had behaved, she understood his anger. One of the promises she’d made to herself and to Elias was that she’d never lie to him. She had broken that promise. She knew she had the very best reason for not revealing Donovan’s identity before now, but that didn’t change the situation.

  She knocked on Elias’s closed door.

  “Go away.”

  “You really don’t think I’m going to do that, do you?” Raven turned the knob and stepped inside, Donovan right behind her. Elias was staring out the window at the backyard. He had a view of the stable and corral though she doubted he was seeing either one of them right now.

  “I don’t want to talk to you,” Elias said, turning to face them. His eyes flashed. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him this upset. But underneath the anger she saw sadness and pain so deep it made her heart ache for him.

  “Then listen while I talk to you.”

  “Why? You’re only going to lie to me. You’re just a big fat liar.”

  Donovan stepped around Raven and was in Elias’s face so fast he might have actually had superpowers. Donovan leaned down until his face was even with Elias’s. Their angry gray eyes collided. When Donovan spoke, his voice was surprisingly quiet yet firm. “You can be as angry at me as you want. You can even be angry at your mother, although she’s not to blame for any of this. But what you won’t do is be disrespectful to your mother. Not now. Not ever. Do you hear me?”

  “Donovan, it’s okay—” Raven began.

  Donovan raised a hand to silence her, but his eyes never left their son’s face.

  “I asked you a question. Do you understand?�
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  Elias lifted his chin defiantly and glared at Donovan. Raven worried how Donovan would feel if Elias didn’t respond. Their relationship was new and tenuous. She didn’t want it to be ruined. But if she interrupted, that would only weaken Donovan’s position. After a long moment Elias looked away. “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  Raven stepped closer. “We were going to tell you today when you got home.”

  Elias sneered. “You’re only saying that because you got caught in your lie. If Mrs. Smith didn’t tell me, I would never have known the truth. You and Donovan would have kept on pretending that you were just friends. Donovan would have kept pretending that he was my friend.”

  Elias spit out Donovan’s name as if it tasted nasty on his tongue.

  “And everyone in the bakery heard. I bet all of my friends know that Donovan is my so-called father now. Everybody knows he disappeared all those years ago and never came back to see me. Everybody knows he’s pretending to be my friend.”

  “We were going to tell you,” Raven repeated. “That’s why Donovan is here today. He knew you went to that sleepover and that your grandfather had gone to pick you up.”

  Elias crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t believe you. I’ll never believe anything you say again.”

  Raven flinched. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t blame your mother. She was caught off guard when I returned. She was only trying to protect you. She hadn’t seen me in ten years and didn’t know what kind of man I was. It was important for her to get to know me again before she told you who I was. Your mother only wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you.”

  Elias grunted but he was listening.

  “And, for the record, I never pretended to be your friend. I am your friend.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be my father.”

  “I can be both.”

  “No thanks. I don’t need you to be either. I have friends. Real friends who don’t lie to me. And I don’t need a father. And my mom doesn’t need you to be her boyfriend. She doesn’t need you to hold her hand and try to kiss her. We were fine without you.” His voice trembled and tears began to run down his cheeks. “Why don’t you go back where you were and stay there this time? We don’t want you here.”

  Donovan stiffened. Elias’s words hit him like a closed fist. His face was drawn and he looked tired. Raven reached out to him, but he dodged her hand. She’d known things weren’t going to go well. Elias was too hurt to have a rational discussion. He felt as if she and Donovan had not only betrayed him—in his mind they’d played him for a fool. He was bound to lash out. If only Donovan had listened, she could have explained things to Elias without Donovan getting hurt.

  “I’ll leave then.” Donovan took two steps and she followed him.

  “Donovan, he just needs time.”

  “Of course.” He said the only words he could say under the circumstances, but Raven could see beneath them to the hurt he couldn’t quite mask. It was as if all of his dreams had turned to ashes.

  “Wait,” Elias said, giving her hope. Then he walked to his desk and picked up the stack of comics he’d borrowed. Raven knew he hadn’t read all of them. “I don’t want these anymore.”

  Donovan hesitated then took the comic books. The pain radiating from him was so strong it could have knocked her over. Donovan slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Until Raven heard his footsteps grow fainter, she held on to hope that Elias would relent and tell his father not to go. That hope died a hard death. Elias was too hurt and angry to back down now.

  “We were going to tell you,” Raven repeated when she and Elias were alone.

  “But you didn’t.” Elias looked at Raven. He’d stopped crying and his face looked fierce. “I don’t ever want to see him again. If you try and make me, I’ll run away.”

  “Don’t say things you might regret.”

  “I’m not. I mean it. I hate him.”

  Raven sighed. How had this turned into such a mess? More importantly, how was she going to fix it? Because although Elias didn’t want to admit it, he needed Donovan in his life. And so did she.

  * * *

  Donovan leaned his head against the tree trunk and closed his eyes. Two days had passed since his son had turned his back on him. He’d held out hope that once Elias had calmed down he’d want to talk. Donovan had hoped Elias would at least hear him out, but that hadn’t been the case. Elias didn’t trust him. They hadn’t had enough time to build a relationship that could withstand a test like this. And as Elias had pointed out, he’d lived without a father for nine years. He didn’t need Donovan.

  As disappointed as he was not to hear from his son, he was even more hurt that he hadn’t heard from Raven. She’d been angry at him initially and hadn’t wanted to let him become a part of Elias’s life, but he’d thought she’d come around. Once she knew why he’d stayed away, she’d warmed up to him. They’d been making progress in their relationship. He’d actually believed they were becoming friends. And a part of him thought that, given enough time, they might have become even more than that.

  Even when he’d had little to no hope that he’d ever see Raven again, part of him had still been in love with her. She’d won his heart when they were young and neither time nor distance had changed that. Perhaps he’d been holding on to her because she was a link to the life he’d left behind. But it hadn’t felt that way. When they were together, the feelings he felt for her were new. Fresh. He’d been falling in love with her again. Now he wondered if he’d imagined it all.

  If her silence was anything to go by, the feelings were definitely one-sided. Maybe she was glad to have Donovan out of her life and was using Elias’s anger as a reason to keep him away. Obviously she hadn’t held on to her feelings the way he’d held on to his. And why should she have? Even if she’d hoped he was still alive, she couldn’t keep living in the past. Not when she had a child to raise. It would be impossible to hold on to the past and move forward at the same time.

  Carson Rivers was proof that she’d moved on. She’d been planning on marrying the other man. Carson had been the one to end it, not Raven. For all Donovan knew, she could be longing for her former fiancé. And even if she wasn’t, it didn’t mean that she was emotionally ready to fall in love with someone else. For all Donovan knew, he was a rebound guy. Or maybe Raven had spent time with him to avoid dealing with her feelings about her broken engagement. He didn’t know because they’d never talked about their feelings. Everything was speculation on his part.

  One thing he knew for sure. He wasn’t giving up on his son. He didn’t know if Raven was encouraging Elias to forgive him for being absent for all of his life or if she was doing the opposite. He hoped Raven was on his side, but whether she was or not, he was determined to win back his son. He’d lost too much time. He wasn’t going to sit back and lose any more.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Raven stared out at the darkening sky and sighed. She missed Donovan. Two long days had passed since she’d seen him. The expression on his face would stay with her for the rest of her life. He’d looked positively wrecked. No matter how hard she tried not to, she could see him wilt as if each word of Elias’s rejection packed the power of a comic book villain’s punch.

  Raven knew that Elias hadn’t meant what he’d said. That had been his pain talking. She’d felt the same way when Donovan had showed up out of the blue, so she understood where Elias was coming from. But she also knew that the longer she allowed him to hold on to his anger, the better chance it had of festering and becoming an insurmountable obstacle in his life.

  Donovan and Elias had the potential to have a great relationship. Despite the fact that Elias hadn’t grown up around Donovan, he had some of his behaviors. There were times when he had an expression on his face that so resembled Donovan’s it took her breath away.

>   Part of her wondered if she wasn’t at least partially to blame for the rift. After all, she was the one who’d insisted that Donovan keep his identity a secret from Elias. She was the one who hadn’t believed in him or trusted his motives. True, she had only been trying to protect her son, but if she had allowed him to tell Elias the truth when Donovan first came back, they wouldn’t be in this predicament now. Maybe Elias and Donovan would be well on their way to establishing a strong father and son relationship.

  And maybe she and Donovan would be continuing to develop their relationship. Things had been going so well. She’d been so confused lately. Maybe this weekend would help clarify her feelings. She knew what it felt like to be in love as a teenager. She had no idea what it felt like as an adult. Perhaps after this weekend she would know what she felt.

  She’d already made a huge mistake with Carson. There was no way she was going to make a similar mistake with Donovan. She needed to be sure of her feelings before she took one more step in his direction. It would be great to have time alone to ponder the depths of her feelings, but that wasn’t possible. She had to get Donovan and Elias back on track. There was no way Elias was going to spend time with Donovan on his own, so she would have to be there, too. She already had a plan.

  The event she had in mind wasn’t going to be an easy one for her to navigate. Joni Danielson, director of the Sweet Briar youth center, had been granted permission by Jericho and Camille Jones to have a family campout on his land. Jericho and Camille had been hosting children who lived in town on day trips where the kids rode horses and experienced life on a working ranch. From everything Raven heard, the children enjoyed the experience. This weekend wasn’t limited to children nor was it strictly for people who lived in town. In fact, ranchers and their children were encouraged to attend.

  When Raven had first read the flier announcing the event, she’d thought it an interesting idea but hadn’t given it a second thought. But that was before things had gone to hell in the proverbial handbasket. Now she had no choice but to take drastic action. Returning to her desk, she turned on her computer and completed the online registration form, signing them up for the weekend adventure. Now she just needed to tell Donovan and Elias the three of them would not only be attending the camp but they would be participating in all of the activities as a family.