The Rancher's Return

by Kathy Douglass

  Once she’d paid the fee, Raven’s heart sped up at the prospect of sharing a tent with Donovan. For a moment she wondered if her interest in the weekend together was strictly because she wanted Donovan and Elias to rebuild their relationship. Or was it because she hoped to reignite the fire between her and Donovan? Regardless of her motives, it was done. The chips were going to fall wherever they landed. She just hoped that no matter what happened, her heart would be able to take it.

  She was about to pick up the phone to tell Donovan what she’d done when she hesitated. Had she just made a huge mistake? After all, it had been a pretty big assumption on her part. He might not want to spend the entire weekend with them. Maybe he had ideas of his own about how to get things straightened out. Would he think she was trying to control everything?

  The phone rang and she looked at the screen. Donovan. Her heart skipped a beat and for a moment it was difficult to breathe. There was no pretending that she was suddenly excited to talk to him because of Elias. She was thrilled simply because she wanted to talk to him. She missed him. Missed hearing his voice. Missed seeing his face. And despite what Elias believed, she wanted Donovan to kiss her and hold her hand.

  “Donovan,” she said, picking up. There was a pause as if he hadn’t expected that greeting.

  “Raven, I need to talk to you.”

  “I was about to call you.”

  “Really?”

  The doubt in his voice pierced her heart. Why was everything so hard between them?

  “Yes. But clearly you don’t believe me. Why?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because two days have passed and I haven’t heard a word from you. I have no idea what’s going on with my son.”

  “He’s angry. You know that. Surely you didn’t think it would blow over that quickly, did you?”

  “I guess I hadn’t expected him to hold a grudge this long. But maybe he’s had help.”

  Her excitement about her plan to get Donovan and Elias together fizzled and she grew indignant. She tried to put herself in his shoes, but she was tired of having to deal with everyone’s attitude with a smile. She was sick of being the one who had to understand how everyone else felt while no one had to consider how she felt. And she was too annoyed to watch what she said or how she said it. “What are you accusing me of?”

  “You didn’t want me in Elias’s life in the first place. Maybe this is your way of keeping me on the outside and having him all to yourself.”

  “Your memory is flawed. I didn’t know about you in the first place. You were gone. When you returned, there was no way in hell I was going to let you be alone with my child. But I didn’t keep you from him. And, lest you forget, you agreed that we wouldn’t tell him who you were right away. It might have been a mistake, but it was our mistake, not mine.”

  Donovan sighed. “You’re right. I’m just frustrated. I’m in the dark and I don’t know what’s going on. I know it’s not your fault that I missed so much of his life.”

  “Sure,” she scoffed. “You say one thing and then do another. I thought we were becoming friends and that we were working toward a common goal.”

  “We were. We are.”

  He didn’t say more, but then nothing he said would change the fact that he didn’t trust her. And no matter how attracted she was to him, they couldn’t have anything real without trust.

  She let the subject drop and moved on to what she’d planned to tell him. He listened without interrupting her. When she was finished, he still didn’t speak.

  “Well?” she prompted. “If you don’t want to do it, just say so.”

  “No. I mean yes. That sounds like a great idea.”

  “You could be a little more enthused.”

  “I am. I feel so much worse for accusing you of working against me. I should have known you wouldn’t sabotage my relationship with Elias.”

  “But you didn’t.” And his lack of faith was a knife to her heart.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “We don’t know each other very well. Hopefully in time we’ll be able to give each other the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions.”

  “I hope so.”

  After discussing the particulars, they said good-night and ended the conversation. Though he’d apologized for not trusting her, his lack of faith in her left Raven with an empty feeling in her heart. Where she used to smile as she fell asleep since he’d been back, tonight two tears slid down her cheeks as she closed her eyes. How many times did her heart have to break before she faced the truth? Their love was gone. If there was a way to get it back, she didn’t know it.

  * * *

  Donovan’s heart thudded in his chest as he pulled up to Raven’s driveway and cut the engine of his truck. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was going to spend the weekend with Raven and Elias. He felt so ashamed when he recalled accusing Raven of being delighted to have him out of their lives when she’d been working out a way to help him and Elias reconcile. Even though he had apologized, Donovan knew he’d done irreparable damage to their relationship. Words alone wouldn’t undo the damage he’d done. The problem was, he didn’t know how to make things better. It was possible that there was nothing he could do. Sometimes there was no fixing things no matter how much you wish you could.

  He couldn’t count the number of times he wished he had stayed with Raven and listened to what she’d had to tell him. How badly he wished he’d never encountered Karl Rivers that night. He’d spent years wishing for the power to go back in time and erase the event that had altered his life. But there had been no going back and making different moves. Just as there was no changing this. He’d said what he’d said. But since he couldn’t change the past, he would make sure not to repeat his mistake in the future. First he would rebuild his relationship with his son then he’d work on repairing his relationship with Raven. He knew he couldn’t have one without the other. Not that he wanted Elias without Raven. He wanted both.

  Raven had suggested that he wait outside. He checked his watch. He was on time. Maybe Elias was giving her a hard time about Donovan coming this weekend. Even though it was difficult, Donovan decided to sit back and let Raven take the lead. Now that some time had passed, he could see he’d been wrong to insist on going with her to talk to Elias that day. She knew Elias better than he did. Maybe she would have been able to get through to him if Donovan hadn’t been standing right there.

  Just when he was beginning to wonder if Elias had refused to come, the front door opened and he stomped down the stairs. He was dragging a backpack in one hand and a sleeping bag in the other. His gear bumped on each step as he descended, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. When he reached Donovan, he glared at him. Donovan had his work cut out for him. He decided on the spot that if Elias didn’t want to talk, he wasn’t going to force him. They had time.

  Elias might be angry now and acting out, but he was basically a good kid. Donovan didn’t think he would be able to stay angry and rude for long. Raven had raised him too well for that. Besides, it didn’t seem to be his true nature.

  Donovan followed Elias’s lead and didn’t speak, either. He stood aside as Elias tossed his gear in the truck bed, slamming his stuff on top of the tent Donovan had bought especially for the occasion.

  Raven stepped outside and Donovan immediately raced up the stairs to help her with her bags. Dressed in a simple, white-cotton blouse that made her brown skin glow and black jeans that hugged her hips, she was the sexiest woman he’d seen in his life. With her thick hair pulled into a ponytail on top of her head, she looked exactly as she had at nineteen.

  “Let me take this for you,” he said, slipping her backpack from her slender shoulder. As he leaned over, her sweet scent encircled him and his pulse sped up.

  “Thanks.” She smiled and for a brief moment he wished it was just going to be the two of them
alone in the tent. But then again, that might further complicate their relationship. He was going to have to find a way to keep his growing desire under control. Their hands brushed and his nerve endings seemed to catch fire. Deciding to turn down his lust was going to be easier to say than to do.

  Donovan opened Raven’s door before setting her gear in the truck bed beside his. Elias was already in the back seat. He grunted when Donovan started the engine, the first sound he’d made so far. Donovan took it as a sign that Elias was warming up to the idea of spending the weekend together.

  As if reading Donovan’s mind, Elias spoke, squashing that bit of hope. “I didn’t want to come. The only reason I’m here is because Mom said I had to. But I want you to know that I still don’t like you and I don’t want you to be my friend or father.”

  Raven opened her mouth but Donovan touched her hand before she could speak. This wasn’t something she could fix by telling Elias to behave. He and Elias were going to have to solve their problems on their own. Elias had stated where he stood and Donovan would do the same. “Noted. And I want you to know that I like you and I am your father. Nothing you say or do is going to change either thing.”

  Elias didn’t have a reply to that, so he turned and stared out the window.

  The organizers of the event had shared a list of items that were forbidden for the weekend. All electronics except cell phones for the adults were considered contraband and would be confiscated and held until Sunday afternoon. So Elias couldn’t tune out Donovan by plugging in earbuds. Donovan turned on the car radio to fill the silence, not feeling even a twinge of guilt about being able to listen to his music while Elias couldn’t. Age had its privilege.

  “So, how have you been?” Raven asked. He had a feeling she was trying to show Elias how to be polite. Donovan could have given an equally polite answer, but on the off chance she really wanted to know, he gave as sincere and revealing an answer as he could.

  “Great. I’ve been thinking of changing our cattle operation. Before...” He glanced over his shoulder. Elias was listening even though he was trying hard to pretend that he wasn’t, so Donovan moderated his answer. He didn’t need to spell it out because Raven knew what he meant. “Dad and I had been talking about going completely organic. We’d done some investigating and were taking steps to get started. All of that sort of fell by the wayside. Now that I’m back, we’re going to give it another go.”

  Her eyes lit up and she smiled at him. He loved her smile. It was like a rainbow after a storm: a reminder that no matter how much upheaval there was in life, good things still existed in the world. “I remember. You were so excited.”

  “I still am. I finally feel like I’m putting down roots again. It’s like...”

  “Coming home?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m so glad. You’ve been back for a while, but you’re finally making long-term decisions. It’s proof that you know you belong here and that you’re back to stay. You’re putting the pieces of your life together.”

  Donovan nodded. Raven had been always been good at making sense of his feelings even when he couldn’t articulate them clearly. Whenever he’d been struggling to make sense of conflicting ideas, she’d been able to help him separate his thoughts and emotions and come up with a coherent plan.

  When they arrived at Jericho’s ranch, he was surprised by the number of cars parked on the front lawn and the amount of people unloading their equipment.

  “Hey, there’s Bobby and Kenny,” Elias exclaimed. “I didn’t know they were coming.”

  Apparently the presence of two of his friends was enough to get him out of his funk. He opened his door and was about to go running off when Donovan stopped him. “Let’s get our stuff and sign in first. Your friends are going to be here all weekend.”

  Elias changed direction and helped Donovan unload their gear while Raven signed them in. She returned shortly, carrying two sealed manila envelopes and a stack of papers. She handed Donovan and Elias their envelopes then leaned against his truck and continued to read her paperwork.

  Elias tore open his envelope and pulled out a handful of papers. After a moment, Donovan did the same. The first page contained general information about the ranch. There was a map that showed where they would be camping. It looked to be about three miles from the main house, near a lake. Donovan recognized the area immediately. He and his closest friends had spent a lot of time on the Double J. They’d had some great times. That’s what he wanted for Elias. Good friends and good times.

  “This is going to be so much fun,” Elias said to no one in particular.

  “Do you think we can win any of the contests?” Donovan asked.

  “Yeah. We’re both strong and Mom sorta is.”

  “Hey.” Raven poked him with her elbow. “I’m strong.”

  Donovan and Elias looked at each other and laughed. Then, as if realizing he was still supposed to be angry at Donovan, Elias frowned and picked up his backpack and sleeping bag. “We’re supposed to meet in the back.”

  Donovan sighed as Elias walked away. Raven grabbed Donovan around the biceps and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Give him time. He likes you. It won’t take long for him to remember that. Not to mention that it takes him far more effort to be angry than to just relax and be friends.”

  “I know you’re right. I’m not discouraged. I’ve just got to be patient.”

  “Good.” She gave his arm a gentle squeeze that did more to lift his spirits than her words then picked up her bags and followed Elias. Donovan watched the sway of her hips before picking up the remainder of their gear and following them.

  Raven and Elias were standing near the side of the assembling group and Donovan joined them. He saw a few familiar faces and returned the smiles and waves. There were many people he didn’t recognize, which only emphasized the fact that life here had continued without him. He didn’t feel bitter now, though. Perhaps because as Raven said the pieces of his life were coming together.

  A woman in her twenties stood in the middle of the semicircle and raised her hand, asking for attention. Everyone got quiet. “Thanks. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Joni Danielson and I’m the director of the Sweet Briar youth center. Welcome to our very first family camp. Hopefully this will become an annual event. Before I say anything more, I’d like to thank Jericho and Camille Jones for hosting us.”

  There was applause and cries of thank you from several of the adults. Jericho and Camille smiled and nodded. Donovan couldn’t help but notice how happy his friend and his wife were. It was as if they were in a world of their own. Donovan hoped the future held happiness like that for him, as well.

  Donovan turned his attention back to Joni, who was explaining the way the weekend would work. Jericho would provide horses to everyone to ride to the campsite. The Double J had one of the best reputations in the region for training horses so Donovan knew the animals would be prime. From the looks of things, Jericho had improved on the stellar reputation his parents had earned.

  Joni briefly explained the games and family competitions that would occur over the weekend. When she finished talking, Jericho took over and began directing people to their assigned horses. The tents and bags would be transported to the campsite by truck and would be waiting when the families arrived.

  Donovan, Elias and Raven mounted their horses and Donovan led the way to the campsite. In addition to the map, there were markers pointing the way. Not that he needed directions. He knew this ranch like the back of his hand. As they rode, Donovan pointed to a tree. “That’s where we built a treehouse. We turned it into a clubhouse.”

  “A clubhouse for boys,” Raven pointed out. “Donovan had been my best friend until he decided I had cooties.”

  “Girl cooties,” Donovan teased.

  Elias laughed then turned to Jericho. “Who was in the club?”

  “M
e, Jericho and our friends Tony and Billy.”

  “What did you guys do?”

  Donovan winked at Elias. “Secret boy stuff. I can’t tell you in front of your mom, but I’ll tell you later.”

  Elias nodded, satisfied. Donovan hoped that this pleasant conversation was the beginning of a breakthrough with his son. Of course, when Elias learned they hadn’t done anything special in the club, that might change. Maybe he could convince Elias that they could start their own club. This time he’d definitely let Raven be a member.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Raven squeezed her hands together as she watched Donovan and Elias attempt to put up the tent. Her two men were sitting on the ground trying to figure out which pole went into which part of the fabric. They’d been at it for about twenty minutes. If she’d been in charge, the tent would have been up by now and they’d be rolling out their sleeping bags. But they’d thought they’d be able to do it better. Elias pulled on a pole and nearly whacked Donovan on the side of the head. Raven swallowed a giggle as well as her advice.

  As they worked, Donovan regaled Elias with tales of his youth and his obviously embellished adventures with his friends. Elias was impressed, but Raven, not so much. After all, she’d been there. She remembered how much better she’d been at riding and swimming and fishing than he’d been. Heck, she’d been better at those things than all of the boys, which was no doubt the reason they’d excluded her from their club. She’d showed them up and their poor, male egos hadn’t been able to handle it.

  She hadn’t been concerned about their egos then and she really wasn’t concerned about them now. The only reason she wasn’t jumping in and putting the tent up herself was that she wanted Elias and Donovan to continue to bond. Donovan deserved every opportunity to build a relationship with his son, and Elias deserved that chance, too, so she sat back and watched the comedy.